By The Pigskin (Or Turkey Carcass) Of Our Teeth, Week 13

In Which Tradition Rules, The Status Quo Fails, And Weirdness Reigns

Our Thanksgiving meal of choice was Prime Rib. But really, any Thanksgiving meal goes down well with a side of Dallas Cowboy pulp.

I'm still not sure about the Lions' throwback uniforms, especially the pre-logo age helmets. They look... Tecmo Bowlish? I dunno.

Many have questioned the play-calling at the end of Pats-Colts, and rightly so. When you know that there's going to be a 360-pound human being in the middle of the defensive line you're trying to get past, you have to think that running may not be the best idea. I didn't have a problem with the fade route: I DID have a problem with somebody other than Marvin or Reggie Wayne running the fade route. Then that last play - a two-yard run has to develop faster than that. I don't know, people. The irony? I SAW the end of this game.

My alternative viewing was Bengals-Steelers, which was also all kinds of fun. I flipped back for the end after the Steelers went ahead. The big key was Bennett returning the kickoff to midfield; I'm not sure the Bengals would have made it otherwise. "After reviewing the play, the receiver got three feet inbounds." So THAT'S how they're doing it - GENETIC MANIPULATION. Alert the media!

John Kasay hadn't missed a field goal under 40 yards in FIVE YEARS. So he goes out and misses three field goals and an extra point. Missed them badly, too. After the extra point I was all "What the hell?!" Goal-line stands~~~. And don't ask me to explain why what happened at the end happened. I'm as clueless as you are.

I find it hard to believe, but Anthony Wright may have been the quarterback Brian Billick has been looking for. 88 points in two games? W. T. F. Did I cross off the 49ers last week? If not, I'm doing it now.

The Bears are only two back? Eh. They won't make it.

Damn it, Vick SHOULD be playing. Frankly, so should Brees and possibly Grossman too. It's the best way to improve (though Grossman's an ex-Gator, so odds are he won't improve anyway)

What have I been saying for the past three years? If Marshall Faulk is healthy, it almost doesn't matter who the quarterback is. Hell, even Isaac Bruce can crank off a pass if he wants. The fake field goal sounds like something Martz would call in that situation. Maybe he pulled the Jedi mind trick or something. Bulger has yet to lose in there.

And I do hope that Angie Harmon got as much screen time during her game as Elisabeth Hasselbeck did.

It's official - if the Saints win next week (and they might), they ARE playing this season backwards.

Imagine the frenzy if Smith and McCardell were still teammates. I don't know what to make of the Bucs anymore - I don't think they've given up, but it's like... I don't know. They're like a kid lost in the mall.

Who means more to his team, Vick or Pennington? And how did this happen, exactly?

Fantasy Report: Thanks mainly to Portis and Faulk (Ward also had 13 catches and Bruce THREW a pass), I beat the holy hell out of Chaz. Didn't matter, though, as the top three spots were already locked in. I'm the No. 3 seed at 8-5, facing Weeba in the first round. Gates got in when Brian came back to beat Jeff and Rob upset Wade to knock him out.

TOP 3:
1. Kansas City - Cut it way too close against sieve-like Bolts
2. New England - Brady starting to gather MVP buzz
3. Philadelphia - I know; I'm shocked too

BOTTOM 3:
30. N.Y. Giants - It's kinda sad
31. San Diego - Wade: "Tomlinson on the Chargers is looking more and more like Barry Sanders on the Lions. Someone please save that kid."
32. Oakland - Well, if the coach is the brains of a stupid operation...