Saturday, December 31, 2016

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 16: Football-Playin' Jam

No Janoris Jenkins tonight after all. Lane Johnson back. Has this drive been all runs? Feels like it. DARREN SPROLES BACK. TOUCHDOWN. And look who made the block to keep that hole open.



Eliception! Touchdown Jenkins! It’s 14-0 immediately. Absolutely no reason for Eli to throw that pass. What was he looking at? Collinsworth is also baffled by Agholor’s struggles. Giants are now pinned at their own 5. Perkins breaks out for 20. Eli drops one into Beckham's basket, then a nice run by Jennings. This is pretty much exactly how the first game began, just in reverse. McKelvin got beat badly but recovered and ran underneath the ball. Hit him in the head.


DRC came from the other side of the field to intercept that pass. Good work by the defense to recover and force a three-and-out. Giants pin the Eagles deep. They sniffed out that third-down run immediately. Did that ball Cruz caught hit the ground? I don’t think so. DGB with a critical third down conversion. Wentz slides and gets hit late, and his name isn’t Cam Newton, so it’s getting called. Agholor caught a pass! Touchdown!!



Sturgis goes banking and it’s 21-6. That Cruz catch is about the third time tonight Watkins has been late to help. Couple Giants fans in blue Santa suits living dangerously tonight. That’s the fourth time Watkins has been late to help and it’s touchdown Shepard, who put a nasty move on Jenkins to get open in the first place. Eagles not lying down even though they get the second-half kickoff. This is too far for a field goal. Do they even have a receiver who can go 45 yards? Tipped but incomplete. Wentz almost made the same mistake again but Casillas couldn’t catch it. Now Watkins is hurt after making the tackle on that Jennings run. He may have saved a touchdown. Field goal is good and it’s 21-16. Wentz shares a birthday with LeBron, Tiger, and Sandy Koufax. Celek fumbles but Ertz recovers. Wentz gets driven into the ground by Vernon and that’s a personal foul. Wentz is scuttled and Chase Daniel is in.



Daniel dumps one off to Mathews who gets a first down. Yeah, he’s short. Pederson appears to be going for this, and it’s only a half-yard. Snacks is down? They go for it and it’s not even close. Eli airmails one and Jenkins picks it off. The Eagles really do bring out the worst in him. Longwood Gardens B-roll? Well, it is the holidays. Wentz is back after going through concussion protocol. Nice run by Sproles. Wentz slides and… fumbles. No, he’s ruled down. His knee is down, so.



And that was after he ducked under a sure sack to get the yards in the first place. Double reverse with Wentz blocking? That seems risky. This Agholor incompletion is worth challenging if only because it’ll make the field goal shorter. The Eagles win the challenge, and Sturgis hits from 41 instead from 48. Ah, the Drunk Santa episode. No reason to revisit that at all. Beckham keeps making plays. The Eagles stop Cruz and force the Giants into a field goal attempt. McKelvin with a critical pass breakup in the end zone. That’s a really generous spot on that Beckham catch. Pederson challenges, and he can because the play started before the two-minute warning.



Challenge is good. Fourth and 1. Who moved? False start Giants. Lot of contact and incomplete. Why are the Eagles passing on third down? Beckham back to field the punt but he fair catches it. 55 pass attempts for Eli and counting, probably. Graham almost got Eli, which probably would have ended the game. Too far for Beckham. INTERCEPTION! Tye might not have scored anyway with all the bodies down there. NOT IN OUR HOUSE. (Eagles 24, Giants 19)

Signal Finder: NYJ @ NE, MIN @ GB, MIA @ BUF, NO @ TB, AZ @ SEA (end)

 SATURDAY, Y'ALL.


It is RAINING. Bowles was hospitalized last night and didn’t travel with the team, meaning he’s as sick of this as we are. Oh, he is here? OK. Gostkowski hits it to start. I assume Petty’s at least seen rain before, if not played in it. High ball gets tipped and intercepted.
Petty’s hurt. Fitzpatrick warming up. The discussion predictably turns to Christian Hackenberg and Fouts isn’t a fan of rookies sitting, citing his own experience.



Folk misses the field goal. Another interception by Fitzpatrick. Hackenberg may not be ready but he can’t be worse than this. Edelman with a diving catch. Touchdown some other white dude. Matt Lengel? OK. 20-0 Pats. That’s a necessary pass interference by the Jets, as it may have prevented a touchdown. Iain just pointed out that the Jets called time out before that play, and Brady subsequently hits White for another touchdown. There are 25 seconds left in the half. The Pats were content to go into halftime up 20 and the Jets felt generous. No idea why we’re still here, as this game is completely meaningless in the big picture. Even Dolphins-Bills would be better at this point.


The saddest. (Patriots 41, Jets 3)

Aaaaand that’s where we go. 28-14 Dolphins near the end of the third. Just in time for Charles Clay to bounce off a Dolphins defender and score a touchdown. Field goal is… NO good! Clay in the back of the end zone… out of bounds! Rex wisely does not challenge. Watkins gets 9 on third and 10 and the Bills are going for it. Got it. Someone forgot to block 46. This one was weird -- everyone stopped for a second, then Taylor throws a ball that looks like a sure pick, but it falls incomplete and pass interference was missed. Bills kick the field goal. Now they  need a stop, and they get it. Good job. Flea-flicker to Woods for 40! Taylor’s third-down keeper is denied AND he gets pushed out of bounds, stopping the clock. Fourth down. TOUCHDOWN BILLS! Taylor threads the needle to Clay! 
Oh my god the Dolphins didn't get out of bounds on third down, and the field goal team has to come out on fourth and 3 with the clock running! This is madness. They get the kick off… IT’S GOOD!! Rex is saying he called time out, which would have been utterly moronic. Yeah, it looks like he called it juuuust too late. Overtime. Bills win the toss. Big run by Gillislee! Watkins snares that one before it hits the turf. Carpenter misses the field goal.
Now what are the Bills doing? Does Rex know the rules? They’re not gonna get the ball back, are they?



Nope, because Jay just broke off a 57-yard run. He’s hurt but he’s back in picking up a first down. The Dolphins are just trolling now. Franks in. IT’S GOOD. *crosses off Bills* (Dolphins 34, Bills 31, OT)

This is the Browns’ last shot, because they’re not winning in Pittsburgh. (Although I'd actually give them a better chance of beating the Steelers in Pittsburgh than in Cleveland.)


THEY BLOCKED THE FIELD GOAL.


Let’s try this again. WIDE RIGHT. BROWNS WIN.


(Browns 20, Chargers 17)

No Peterson either. Harrison Smith has two different 2’s on the back of his jersey. Vikings are DRIVING. They’re really leaning on Thielen for some reason. Bradford just overthrew him there on second and goal. Clay rushes him and knocks down the third down pass. Field goal good. How was Nelson, of all people, that wide open? Oh, his man fell down. 



Touchdown Adams. Guy dressed as the Grinch in the stands. Vikings falling apart right now.


Recap of the Vikings’ travel woes last night. The actual Vikings had an easier time reaching the continent for the first time. (The night before on Twitter while this was happening, Erin Andrews was wondering why they didn’t just use the emergency slides.) Wildcat? Fumble! (On the next play.) Packers ball. Nelson catches a long pass then breaks a tackle for four more yards. Then he makes a sliding catch in the end zone. 21-6 Packers. THIELEN! He literally walked the last 20 yards. OH NO HE DID THE LEAP. I’ve been spelling his name wrong. Hmmm. Geronimo! The Vikings secondary can’t cover anyone today. Nelson again. Rodgers with a bootleg of about 20 yards around before he puts a move on some poor bastard and scores.


That punt was… sub-optimal. Rodgers escapes a sack and finds Allison for another first down. That was almost a great catch by Adams; the throw was high, but it needed to be.
Rodgers to Rodgers and that’ll do it. Official down? Touchdown Diggs and he’ll be fined for losing that ball in the stands.

Onside kick? Can we get a ruling here? *crosses off Vikings* (Packers 38, Vikings 19)

NO. NOT MARIOTA. NO. About time the Jaguars showed up this year. crosses off Titans (Jaguars 38, Titans 17)

Mark Ingram scores the touchdown, which is important because it didn’t happen last week and would have triggered a bonus. The Saints have Jairus Byrd returning punts now? Well, gotta get something out of that contract, I guess. Only 14 yards on a flea-flicker is a waste, I feel. Brate's been a beast the last six weeks or so. There was quite the bit of contact on that Byrd interception but none of that caused it -- Winston threw it off his back foot and the pass had nothing on it. Touchdown Ingram, but there's still plenty of time for the Saints' alleged defense to give it all back. See? Heck of a way to start the third quarter. Despite my concerns (that I've voiced in this space for the last few years), Brees is still really, really good. It only makes the inevitable crash that much sadder. Touchdown Cadet, and an Ingram conversion puts the Saints back up 14. That catch by Evans though. Touchdown Bucs despite the interference. Hmmm. They're overturning this catch and fumble? Cooks! Field goal is good and it's 31-21 Saints. Oh, no, Jameis. The Bucs aren't ready quite yet. (Saints 31, Buccaneers 24)

Derek Carr broke his leg? Jesus. crosses off Raiders (Raiders 33, Colts 25)

The Cardinals seem to want to supplant the Rams as “division rival that manages inexplicable win over the Seahawks every year.” MISSED THE EXTRA POINT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A second Cardinals-Seahawks tie is actually in play here, which has never happened. Johnson with a big catch. Fitzgerald is stopped short! It’s the same situation the Dolphins had in Buffalo! Kick is… GOOD!!! And now the Falcons, of all teams, have jumped into the No. 2 seed in the NFC. This was WILD. (Cardinals 34, Seahawks 31)

Roof is CLOSED. It’s Tom Savage time, and I never thought I’d ever type that. Harlan and Gannon on the call, as they likely would have been if this game had aired on CBS. The big thing about Clowney is he’s finally been healthy for more than four weeks in a row. Wait, this guy’s name is “Core”? Nice pass breakup by Kareem Jackson. So much Hanukkah in this footage. Wait, Savage was at Arizona too? Is it possible he’s not good, either? Core had to play defense on a ball that Dalton threw too high. Is he really Will Fuller the Fifth? Someone on the Texans yelled "That’s an illegal formation!” and no flag was thrown.



Is Jeremy Hill playing? I’ve only seen Burkhead run the ball so far. Two-minute warning already? This may end up being the fastest first half of all time. BECAUSE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. This game might end before the Hawaii Bowl ends at this rate. We got a two-minute drill happening? Oh, hey, field goal Bengals. The Texans completed two passes on one drive! Stop the presses! This might be on Hopkins. It sure is. That’s intentional grounding. I mean, Gannon would be the best quarterback the Texans have ever had. Harlan: “Oh, they all moved.” Somehow the Texans got a field goal out of all of that foolishness.


Did they get Hopkins for OPI AGAIN? Christ on wheels. This is a terrible football game. That time they got Jones for defensive pass interference on Hopkins. That’s a bad throw in the red zone. It wasn’t intercepted because only the cameraman could have caught it. Field goal is good. 6-3 Texans. Dalton gonna Dalton. Is Savage hobbling? The Bengals haven’t scored a touchdown in the fourth quarter since Week 8? Good Lord. Brandon LaFell, of all people, just changed that. Hopkins spins away from Jones for big yards. You’re my boy, Blue. Texans retake the lead. That’s a good block by Hopkins to spring him, too. Extra point is BLOCKED. This Hopkins-Jones battle tonight has been great. Texans now have to hang on for three minutes. Whatever Dalton audibled to, the Texans knew about it. You know who’s still good is Brian Cushing. Big fourth down conversion. Oh, the Bengals cut Nugent? Huh. Bullock is a former Texan, you know. WIDE RIGHT. Texans win! Gannon’s saying Bullock took an early step and it threw off his timing. And now we won’t have Matt Cassel vs. Tom savage for the AFC South title next week. FYI, 11 minutes left in the Hawaii Bowl. Also, the Bengals can’t beat this team. (Texans 12, Bengals 10)

Merry Christmas. SO MANY MARBLES UP FOR GRABS HERE. Do these Steelers uniforms count as Color Rush? It’s certainly better than the prison jerseys.



Was Koch trying to bring rain with that punt? It didn't go very far. Bell doing things already. Wait, who is 85? Weddle wasn’t bringing him down, whoever he is. Touchdown Steelers. They’re gonna hit Brown for OPI here? Well all right. Slow down on these intros, Steelers defense. That’s a tough call on Shazier -- there’s not much he can do there with the ball carrier’s head as low as it is. Bad snap on the field goal attempt and no points for the Ravens here. It seems like the Ravens really want Dixon to become their lead back but he’s not quite there yet. We are officially in the "grit and grind" portion of every Ravens-Steelers game. There will be at least two more. Dixon fortunate to recover his own fumble. Flacco takes a page out of Roethlisberger’s book on that completion to Perriman. Field goal is good and it’s 7-6 Steelers at halftime. Interception? Interception. Smith finds the back of the end zone and the Ravens go ahead. Going for two? Smith converts; 14-7 Ravens. The Steelers are doing well to keep the Ravens out of the end zone so far this half, especially after that Mosley interception looked like it was going to be extra costly. 20-10 after 3.



Come on, man. Don't kick off out of bounds. Brown! Brown again! Touchdown Bell and the Steelers lead! This game, man. Plenty of time for the Ravens, and it appears they plan on using it. I mean, it's been five minutes. Juszczyk? JUSZCZYK! TOUCHDOWN!! THIS GAME. Warriors-Cavs and this gave you your money’s worth today.
Steelers have to call this last time out. Brown fighting to get into the end zone… did he extend the ball over the line? He did! Touchdown Steelers! THIS. GAME.



Extra point blocked? No, penalty on the Ravens. Extra point good this time.



Exactly. You only do that with a lead. The Ravens still had a time out left? Wow. Now it's gone. And now Shazier has Flacco's pass. crosses off Ravens (Steelers 31, Ravens 27)

Week 17 schedule is set. Packers-Lions to Sunday night, as expected. Giants-Redskins to 4:25 (as I figured), as well as Saints-Falcons (which I didn’t).

Alex Smith bootleg! Touchdown Chiefs! Tyreke Hill. AGAIN. Where did the Chiefs find this kid? And why did it take six games to put him in the lineup?



Broncos get a good return, at least. They really needed to do better than a three-and-out there.



And Smith is pressured into an interception. First and goal for the Broncos at the 6. Three points might be unacceptable here. So they get six, which is fine. Good thing, too, because Travis Kelce just ran right through the Broncos defense for an 80-yard score. Illegal contact negates a Chiefs sack. Santos misses badly. Still 21-7. Collinsworth is probably right that the Broncos don’t have to put this all on Siemian yet. McManus hits from 52. What was THAT?

That was some dicey punt fielding. "Freedom 90" into break, which may not have been on the original sheet. The Broncos can’t run the ball and haven’t been able to since C.J. Anderson went down. Did the Chiefs just hand the ball to Kelce? Very odd. Santos kicks a field goal and it’s 24-10. BRONCOS SPECIAL TEAMS. They cough up the kickoff and the Chiefs recover. Hmmm. We got an interesting deal here where the Chiefs receiver may have been touched down before that. Yep, he was.



Are we sure a 36-year-old with three broken collarbones, two career playoff wins and a long, documented history of late-season failures is the answer here? Another field goal for the Chiefs and we’re about nine minutes away from the Dolphins, of all teams, making the playoffs. Nice catch by 87. I think Al wants to go home -- that fumble call wasn’t exactly inspired. Then Stephenson, who got hit with a false start right before this, then gets nailed with an unsportsmanlike conduct after the Chiefs recover. This one’s over. Wow, that 1971 playoff game was wild. They actually found some Super Bowl 50 babies? My God. DONTARI POE JUST THREW A TOUCHDOWN PASS.



Don’t think the Broncos will forget that. Now they’ve called time out to try to get a last touchdown. Interception! Figures.



crosses off Broncos (Chiefs 33, Broncos 10)

McFadden returning kickoffs? OK. Big gain by Witten, which doesn’t seem to happen anymore. Butler catches a touchdown pass against what I really hope was a zone. Zach Zenner? Really? Are the Lions out of running backs? Escapability from Stafford. Zenner finds a cutback lane and walks into the end zone. Elliott breaks free and he will not be caught. Lions missed with a blitz. Was that Emmitt Smith with a Santa beard? Two straight from Eric Ebron? OK. Stafford should go after Scandrick because he’s garbage and always has been. Good goal-line defense so far by the Cowboys, sniffing out the bootleg on second down and stuffing the run on third. Stafford sneak! Oh, they called it a touchdown! I thought he’d made it but the announcers didn’t think so at first. Big sack by Ansah. Ebron’s been killing the Cowboys tonight. He’s made to big catches on this drive, including just now when he got drilled and still fought for the first down. Touchdown Zenner? Touchdown Zenner! Lions are getting stops tonight. Nice stunt by the Cowboys to blow up the protection. Lions counter with excellent punt coverage. Elliott goes down the sideline for a good chink of yardage. Prescott almost got the ball stripped from him, then got tripped up while running and didn’t get the first down. Touchdown Cowboys! Bryant was getting mugged and still brought it in. Halftime and we’re tied at 21. Stafford gets crazy with a sidearm throw and it gets picked off eventually. Flag? Oh, holding. That’s poor pursuit by the Lions on Elliott’s touchdown. They could have gotten there. “We’re getting a wild card game. We don’t know when or who, but we’re showing it on two channels.” How is that a penalty?



Everyone hates that call. Prescott straight up misses Witten. Good run by the kid. Bryant doing his best Dontari Poe impression? Prater just misses that one. McDonough notes that this is the second week in a row that Washington has needed help from the Cowboys. I should note that the Lions are missing their top two cornerbacks tonight and the Cowboys have finally taken advantage. This is interesting: the Cowboys were backed up on that punt, then got hit with an Illegal Motion penalty and the Lions pushed them back. You know it’s your night when the punter’s putting hats on dudes, and after a good return at that. Roberts will never live that down. Tate keeps the Lions drive alive. Stafford hit and fumbles. The Lions always lose this game. (Cowboys 42, Lions 21)
RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. Dallas (13-2): Wrapping it up
2. New England (13-2): As much of a brush-off game as they've played in years
3. Oakland (12-3): Nobody's celebrating
4. Kansas City (11-4): Doing things with style

BOTTOM 4:
29. Chicago (3-10): Oh, that one hurts
30. Jacksonville (2-12): Classic choke job
31. San Francisco (1-13): It’s the 60’s all over again
32. Cleveland (1-14): It's a Festivus MIRACLE!!


Posted by at No comments:

Friday, December 30, 2016

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 15: Spots Mark The X

New coach on a short week? Good luck with THAT. MY EYES! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING! I like that NBC seems to have settled on the Law & Order theme for replay challenges. Challenging spots? I’VE TOLD YOU PEOPLE A HUNDRED TIMES.
Kenny Britt’s hurt? Yeesh. Michael Thomas drops a great deep ball from Goff. Just dropped it. Then Quick falls down in the end zone (though the throw was a little off; it’s still a touchdown if Quick stays up.) They’re going for it. They JUST got that time out called. Gurley gets stuffed. They got it? Wow. Carroll’s gonna challenge THIS spot, too. And he’s gonna win! Seahawks ball and they get another challenge! Wilson with a nice run to convert. Really, Cris? A Gregg Williams defense is about legal hits? Baldwin’s short. What the hell, Carroll. You’re playing with fire now.


Call stands and Carroll loses the challenge. Fourth down lob is short, but the Rams get flagged for holding. Touchdown.


Rams fake punt attempt fails miserably. Mike Thomas is the guy who dropped the big pass from Goff earlier. Maybe throw it to someone else next time. Field goal is good. Wait, Fisher told Fassel he was getting the job? Yeah, I think Carroll’s a pipe dream. Maybe McDaniels, if he’s learned anything from last time? One of the many indictments against Fisher is not one Rams offensive player has improved during his tenure.


Hey, Gurley made a play! That’s the first one this year and what I was just talking about. What happened to that kid? Field goal Rams and that’s fine. Fassel coached in Amsterdam for player fine money. Fisher’s son is still on staff? That’s gotta be tough. 10-3 Seahawks at the half. Chancellor down. Could be serious since the Seahawks are already without Earl Thomas. Jim’s here! John Fassel looks creepily like his old man. Graham! Did Rawls’s shoes come untied? This should be an interception in the end zone. Graham never had it, and the defender had it and got both feet inbounds. It’s ruled incomplete, but the Rams are challenging. Call stands. Huh. I guess he didn’t have control? Baldwin faked homeboy out of his jockstrap and catches the touchdown pass.

Touchdown Lockett! This might be over. Nice catch by Britt over the middle. Goff is sacked by Bennett, and it’s followed by two penalties. Then Bennett kills two men, including Gurley.


Wait, Keenum’s in? How’d that happen? Oh. That’s how. Also, we got through that third quarter pretty fast if there’s only 7:30 left now and the Rams are going for it on fourth and 11. Keenum overthrows everybody. Fake punt by the Seahawks and Ryan has a ton of running room OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED. I was wondering why he was holding the ball above his head but the ball slipped out of his hands and he got blasted.


Collinsworth has a point: The Rams, who had a rep of pushing the line under Fisher, might think the Seahawks were trying to embarrass them with that fake punt and may react accordingly. Well, at least it ended peacefully. (Seahawks 24, Rams 3)

Why is this game happening? Who’s calling this game with Tirico? OK, that is Nick Marshall the former Auburn quarterback. Solid catch and run by Powell to convert that third down.
Touchdown Anderson. Oh, it’s Flutie? All right then. Why are we acting like Matt Moore is this massive drop-off from Tannehill? The Dolphins might want to find Powell when he’s on the field. Suh making plays. Petty got wrecked. Fumble? Dolphins ball! Well, this was a damn catastrophe. Moore gets stepped on by his center and damn near fumbles as the Jets crash through the line. Oh man. That knee might be out of bounds. This is close. Oh, they reversed the call and it’s a touchdown! Extra point is missed, then Tirico tells us that Franks’s warmup was… less than spectacular. Enunwa’s has a good year for someone who wasn’t supposed to. Interception Cameron Wake? OK then. No clue what Petty might have been looking at there. Dungy has joined the booth. Is that a free spin for the Dolphins? OK then. Jets going for fourth and 1. NOPE. And now the Jets lose a challenge. Stills! All he does is run deep posts but he’s pretty good at it. This PAT is successful. Marshall dropped that because he got ahead of himself. That’s a clutch conversion. Field goal is good. Chris Rose is leading the halftime crew? This is B-team all the way around. Look at the end zones: No team logos. Because the Giants play at 1 tomorrow, there’s not enough time to repaint them, so the stadium crew is just going to change over all the signage. Who planned this? Blocked punt! TOUCHDOWN DOLPHINS! Maybe a legal formation would have prevented that, Jets. He just ran past the guy. Then the Dolphins get an interception. Petty’s gotta learn to not throw into coverage that tight. Moore finds Landry, then Sims, who tries to drag Calvin Pryor into the end zone and fails. Ajayi didn’t get in there? Huh. Sims did.

Moore to Landry and he’s GONE. Touchdown Dolphins and this has become a disaster.
Good adjustment by Anderson on an underthrown and rushed Petty pass. Petty’s down. Suh and Wake crushed him. It’s still the third quarter? Christ. Why the hell is Fitzpatrick in this game?

That's as good a reason as any, I suppose. (Dolphins 34, Jets 13)

Signal Finder: PIT @ CIN, PHI @ BAL, GB @ CHI (end), JAX @ HOU (end), NE @ DEN

Disgraceful tackling by the Bengals on this kickoff return. Let's swap field goals, shall we? Dalton cashes in the pass interference with a successful sneak. LaFell's killing it on this drive. That's some power running by Hill. 17-3 Bengals. I thought Coates knocked that away from Jones but it went off Jones’s hand. Burfict and DeCastro just collided head-on and Burfict got the worst of it. Touchdown Brown. OR NOT. They flagged Bell with a chop block. Now it’s fourth and 25! Kick is good but that penalty cost the Steelers four points they really needed. Then Boswell saves a touchdown on the ensuing kickoff return. More field goals and it's 20-6 at halftime. At what point does Burfict’s stupidity outweigh his production? We crossed that bridge in college when Arizona State finally kicked him out, but what now? Hill tries to jog off and eventually does. The Bengals keep knocking down passes. Boswell’s 5 for 5. That never ends well. There’s your trademark Dalton terrible interception. And this drive also ends in a field goal. ANOTHER dust-up? Jebus. Someone’s gonna get hurt out there. TOUCHDOWN STEELERS. They’ll pass for two because that’s all they know. Incomplete. 24-20.



In the week's biggest upset, we didn't get it. Came damn close, though. (Steelers 24, Bengals 20)

This Week’s Game That Shouldn’t Have Been This Close: 

I mean, he's been bad most of the season. But Tom Savage? Are we really seeing this?
It’s amazing the Jaguars have somehow never lost nine in a row. Bortles immediately throws an interception to end all suspense.



Is this already the end for Osweiler? It’s the end for Gus Bradley, who the Jaguars just Lane Kiffined. (Texans 21, Jaguars 20)

That’s a good return by Barner. That’s a regrettable error. End around goes for about 40. This is relatively pedestrian for Tucker, as Merrill just said. “Wide guy”? Really? Dudes running in from 20 yards downfield saying the Eagles have this fumble. I mean, they’re right, but still. Touchdown Mathews. They’re going for two? Strange.



Mathews with the rare two-yard leap over the pile. 11-10 Eagles. Good scramble by Barner to get the first down, but now he’s back down. Agholor drops a third and 1. The Eagles might go for it here from the Ravens’ 37. They do and Ertz picks it up. This has been a long drive. Sturgis field goal is good. Flacco just overthrows Smith. Then he finds Smith for a touchdown two plays later after he roasts Mills down the sideline. 20-14 Ravens at the half. Eagles give up a big run to start the second half but still force a punt. Wentz throws an interception on a deep ball to Matthews but it’s negated by a penalty. Then the same guy (Orr) hits Byron Marshall out of bounds. They don’t get it but oh well. A few nothing drives and then Marshall starts to find some holes. Wentz guns one to Ertz. The Eagles have actually has success running the ball today. Sturgis field goal makes it 20-17. The Eagles are bad at stopping runs to the outside, have been all year, and it just cost them again.
Agholor… apparently got knocked out of bounds before he got the first down stick. Moose just showed us that he could and probably should have cut inside sooner. I’M MIKE WALLACE! Interception Hicks! And Flacco ends up making the tackle.



How does DGB get the ball knocked out of his hands by a guy eight inches shorter? Sturgis makes the field goal. Did they kick it deep? Wow. Good stand by the defense. That Ertz catch didn’t need to be that difficult, Wentz. Two flags on that one. Young tried to tackle Agholor. Good call. The Eagles still have their time out! TOUCHDOWN WENTZ! He ran it in himself! NOW WHAT? They’re going for it. Why the hell not? Pass Is deflected and incomplete. (Ravens 27, Eagles 26)

It’s COLD.



This game’s still going? It’s TIED? What the hell, Packers? Alshon Jeffrey’s back? Oh. That’s a ROCKET! You can’t throw a football better than that. Crosby’s up. It’s GOOD! 



(Packers 30, Bears 27)

Can anybody here field a punt? Anyone? Anyone at all. McManus skirts the upright and we’re tied at 3. A Golf Coaches award? All right then. Siemian’s doing a good job of sticking with his best guys in the passing game. Although, that same thing just burned him there as Ryan jumped the route on that interception. That’s the second fumble the Patriots have lost and recovered on this drive. Dion Lewis (who’s still alive, apparently) got stuffed. Blount pounds it in because that’s what he does.


Not sure if that was the best strategy, considering that they only have three points.
Brady tosses up a floater that Edelman finds. Gostokowski cashes in and that feels daggerish considering how well the Pats are playing defensively.



Brady’s next playoff game will be his 32nd, Nantz just said, pointing out that that’s two full seasons. Still nothing on offense from the Broncos. When’s the last time both Super Bowl participants missed the playoffs the following season? Bennett! (The answer is 2003.) Another Patriots field goal and this really feels over.





(Patriots 16, Broncos 3)

Have a day, Raiders. (Raiders 19, Chargers 16)

FLEXING.


There’s that, too. Chris Conte’s still in the league? Why? Elliott practically drove through that hole. Darren McFadden lives? This will test an improved Bucs defense. Bailey’s kick is… short? The hell?
Aguayo’s on and the adventure begins. This one’s pretty short, though. And it’s good! 3-0 Bucs. Prescott practicing even distribution. Well, he was 9 for 9. Doug Free, still the weakest link. “Pretty Woman” for some reason. Bailey hits and we’re tied. That is a fumble and Cowboys ball. Dez drops a touchdown pass. Brent Grimes: the Doug Christie of the NBA. Did Elliott jump into the Salvation Army kettle? That’s not dangerous at all. Al is baffled by the Romo speculation. It’s called “because they’re Cowboys fans, Al.” Prescott with a wide-open run. Did 19 catch that inbounds? He did. OK. It’s amazing the holes these guys have to run through. 17-3. Winston headbutted a dude?



So its second and goal from the 28. Looks like a field goal. Bailey missed AGAIN? Cut him. Why does Prescott already have 25 pass attempts? The Bucs don’t appear to be ready for this. Or maybe they are?


Yeah, Jerry’s grandson won a state title in JerryWorld yesterday. Kershaw and Stafford went there. Slick catch by Cameron Brate, who seems ready to assume the NFL Harvard Man status. Has Doug Martin played tonight? Brate fighting for more yards. Touchdown Brate and the Bucs are ahead! Whoever was in coverage for the Cowboys got wrecked. Can’t let Elliott get free. Bailey hits and we’re tied. This place is legitimately loud. Interception! That’s he second turnover that’s been caused by someone hitting Winston’s arm tonight -- that pass sailed on him because his elbow got clipped. Holding takes a Cowboys touchdown off the board. Witten fumbles! Bucs ball in Cowboys territory. There’s Martin. Wow, they blew all of their blocks on that screen pass. It’s amazing it wasn’t completely blown up. Good stop by the Cowboys’ defense. Dez gets the Cowboys out of their end zone. Again: You. Can’t. Let. Elliott. Get. Free. ANOTHER Bailey field goal.






2:58 left for the Bucs. Winston just misses Evans and that might do it. But the Bucs get a stop as Prescott smartly slides behind the line of scrimmage. Bucs recover that fumble but they’re losing time. And that interception will put this one on ice. That was chaotic. (Cowboys 26, Buccaneers 20)

Greg Olsen sighting? OK. No Kuechly tonight and there’s no reason to risk him in a lost season.



Gano uses the post for leverage. Cam takes yet another hit and that arm’s kinda dangling. We’re already pushing Lions-Cowboys next week? I find it a little weird that Washington’s throwing to the middle of the field with two rookie corners to pick on. Hopkins field goal is good. Ginn can’t hold on. Lather, rinse, repeat. But he caught THAT one. Whitner was like, “Look, I got no shot here.” Vernon Davis is 32? He’s been around that long? Cousins makes a bad decision and Kurt Coleman makes him pay for it. He's got six interceptions against Washington? Wow. Olsen should have just let that drop because he ended up losing yards. Man, that story makes Jay Gruden sound like a dick. The linebacker covering Olsen just fell down. Stewart with a wildly entertaining 10-yard run: reverses field, jumps over Norman INTO Baker, then spins away from him and gets three more yards. They flagged Newton for THAT? Come on. And he got hit late again to rub more salt in the wound. Um, I’d like examples of when Coleman played well for the Eagles because I never saw it. Terrible tackling on that big DeSean play. Touchdown Rob Kelley after a drive that probably shouldn’t have played out the way it did. Extra point is MISSED. Gruden doesn’t see anyone beating Alabama and I don’t either. Cousins fumbles! Panthers ball at the 1. Touchdown Tolbert. Norman almost picked off Cam there. The Panthers just had a tackle come across the line to the other side. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that. These guys are out here fighting, breaking tackles, fighting for extra yards.



Field goal is good. 23-9 Panthers. That’s a great job by Desean to hold on to that. Reed is hurt. That’s the second shot he’s taken to that shoulder tonight. That’s a big fourth down conversion. Well, Reed will have plenty of time to rest that shoulder -- he just got tossed for connecting with a punch. That may have cost Washington four points. Not sure. Toler may have just gotten hit in the head by his own teammate.
Uncatchable? Ummm, maybe if the guy wasn’t being held up.


Don't really like all these outside runs the Panthers are calling. I might have taken one of those penalties if I was Washington.



Maybe they knew something, because Gano misses badly. That’s a flag and that poor cheerleader also paid the price. She’s up! Good. Cousins will be fine. I think I agree with Gruden that maybe the Panthers shouldn’t have accepted that penalty but I think Rivera trusts his defense. Field goal is good and it’s an eight-point game. Then Stewart does exactly what Washington couldn’t let him do. Tolbert gets another first down. Are the Panthers gonna score again?



Gano makes this one, so, yes. Are Newton and Norman working out a wager? (Panthers 26, Redskins 15)

RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. Dallas (12-2): Home sweet… home?
2. New England (12-2): Making statements in their own way
3. Oakland (11-3): Phase Two complete
4. Kansas City (10-4): Andy Reid vs. The Game Clock: A rivalry for all time

BOTTOM 4:
29. Chicago (3-10): Oh, that one hurts
30. Jacksonville (2-12): Classic choke job
31. San Francisco (1-13): It’s the 60’s all over again
32. Cleveland (0-14): The Cleveland Fusion did nothing wrong

Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)