Sunday, August 26, 2018

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: A Dustland Fairytale

Falcons win the toss and defer. Wait, what was THAT about? Ah jeez. Not a good start. Falcons are moving the ball with relative ease right now. Lot of outside runs, as Cris said. Hey, a stop. Bryant field goal is good. We come back to a celebration montage. Foles doesn't look good at the moment. Flag? Pass interference for the second time. Ajayi with some good runs after the first-drive fumble. Blount in and he fumbles but gets it back. Foles takes a bad sack that knocks the Eagles out of field goal range. Can't give Julio that much space. Falcons line up to go for it on 4th and 2 from the Eagles' 45. Incomplete but a delay of game flag saves the Falcons. That punt was almost blocked. More Ajayi. Let's just keep doing that. Foles connecting on some short passes now, which can only help. Agholor RUN? Nice. Off a fake to an inside handoff, at that.


I don't like teams lining their running backs seven, eight yards behind the line of scrimmage, especially in these goal-line situations. Clement fumbles — but Foles recovers and goes in for a touchdown? It didn't look like he got in, and he clearly didn't.






So what do you do here? Jesus, Clement ran into Agholor before the handoff even happened. They're going for it. Blount takes it outside and he does score. CLANG. Extra point is no good. Elliott has the weirdest range. 6-3 Eagles. Sanu breaks away from Darby for a big gain. Ryan throws up his own duck and Mills almost picks it off. I don't know, Cris, Malcolm Jenkins in pretty sung. This also should remind everyone that the Eagles are on their THIRD middle linebacker, and he joined the team in like Week 8. Muff? Falcons ball! Did that hit Rasul Douglas's foot? It's bouncing all over the place. The two Eagles players it hit couldn't have seen it. Bad bounces everywhere. Not sure about that call. I don't want Mills on Jones. He held him all the way into the end zone. Ryan waits too long and throws an incompletion. Then he somehow finds Freeman in the end zone after getting turned around and flips it to him for a touchdown. Where's Ajayi? Foles overthrows an open Burton. Eagles almost got to that punt, too. Braman may have clipped that with a finger. I guess not. It's still fourth down, though. Now the office wants to review it. They pick the flag up. Eagles ball.



Call time out, somebody. Bad throw into three Falcons defenders gets deflected and Torrey Smith somehow catches it at midfield. That's Jeffery's first catch, and he does the same thing he did against the Giants to set up Elliott's game-winner. He drills it from 53 and it's 10-9 at halftime.

Mills with a nice breakup of a third down pass. Ajayi back out after missing the entire second quarter for no apparent reason. Jeffrey showing up in the second half. And again. Foles hitting his targets. Ajayi with a bad drop, which has been an underreported problem since Foles took over. Elliott good from 37 and the Eagles lead. Don't kick off out of bounds. RIP Keith Jackson. Telegraphed safety blitz by McLeod and Ryan still can't get away. End of 3.



Another punt by the Falcons. There's Ajayi's once-a-game big run, getting the Eagles to midfield. Ertz! Another flip to Agholor in motion. Mack Hollins getting involved. Eagles' O-line has been good tonight, and this is basically how they needed to win this game: run the ball and control the clock. Pederson thinking about going for 4th and 2 from the Falcons' 4. Time out and they think better of it. Kick is good. The home team is 9-0 in "bird team vs. bird team" playoff games. Like, who even decides to figure that out? Graham to Freeman: "Nah, son."



Good catch by Sanu to grab that and keep the drive alive. Eagles are challenging? Oh boy. I'm not sure I can overturn this but what do I know any more. OVERTURNED. Biggest pop of the night. Falcons now go for it on 4th and 6. Somehow Jones gets open and converts. Two minutes left. I may double Jones from now on. Coleman finding holes all of a sudden.



Ryan throws a shovel pass to absolutely no one. I'm surprised the Falcons didn't run the ball at all with two time outs. Fourth and goal from the 2. They're reviewing this? God, no idea on this one. Catch stands. Ryan under pressure... Incomplete! Too high! Mills pushed Jones down, he recovered, but still couldn't catch it.









DO NOT TAKE A SAFETY HERE. Al says this immediately. Did the Falcons jump offside? THEY DID! They just gave the Eagles five yards! Clement runs it and does he get the first down? Chains are out. First down!



And that's it. Enjoy The Killers! (Eagles 15, Falcons 10)

And now, a sanctioned massacre. Gronk doesn't usually miss those. Delanie Walker somehow gets wide open and three Patriots can't bring him down. Mariota making moves on the sidelines. Touchdown TITANS? TOUCHDOWN TITANS.



Great catch by Corey Davis. The Titans have been waiting for that kid all season. A lot of Dion Lewis. A LOT OF DION LEWIS. Was he down? I thought he was down. He's down. They reset the clock after that, right? Swing pass to James White for a touchdown. As Nantz said, must be the playoffs. They called that on the Titans? Wait, of course they did, because the Patriots get all the breaks. Cooks! And of course, White scores again. The rout is probably on.



That stood? Huh. Imagine that. Apparently the Patriots false-started on that punt. Wait, what? They're saying the Titans jumped offside? Jesus Christ. Every break, I tell you. The drive continues. Pats at midfield and they go no-huddle. Amendola sightings. Gronk can't be stopped by mere mortals. Stop helping them, Titans. Touchdown Hogan and the rout is probably on. Romo not a fan of the Titans' clock management on this drive. He's also probably the best guy out there at seeing when the quarterback should throw. And now the Titans burn their last time out. Fourth and 1 from the Pats' 46 and they RUN IT WITH NO TIME OUTS? That's Mike McCarthy-esque. Absolutely awful.



Also, the refs missed a face mask. Patriots' ball. Why are they throwing short passes in the middle of the field? Oh, right, because they're the Patriots and they can get away with anything. See? That pass to Amendola, he goes down and there's one second left on the clock. No other team gets that break. Gostowski with an attempt... goes left. Look, we ALL thought White would catch that lob. Little bit of contact on that punt. Two sacks? Good job, Titans. 3RD AND 31. That went about as expected. Can't tackle Gronk with one guy, apparently. I forget Edelman's been injured all season. Pats bring Brandon Bolden out of cold storage for the touchdown. Nantz: "He's not even up every week." That's called "trolling", Jim. Brady had a week to find Amendola. Oh Jesus. Remember the lob that went through White's hands at the beginning of the second half? Brady just completed that pass to Amendola, who's caught 11 passes tonight. Gronk wins a jump ball for a touchdown. 35-7.
Nantz and Romo talking about the ESPN article on the Patriots "rift". Is this the same pass to Decker? Why are we challenging this? Belichick's so salty. That's not a catch. They gave them that? Oh well. The Patriots' pass rushers are completely anonymous, yet they have seven sacks tonight. Touchdown Davis. OK. Why has Brady thrown 53 passes? (Patriots 35, Titans 14)

Jaguars come out throwing. They have tight ends who aren't Marcedes Lewis? Fournette goes airborne on 4th and goal from the 2 for a touchdown! The Jaguars needed that and the Steelers didn't. Then they force a three-and-out and we've got a scuffle. Game is already testy. That's an incomplete pass — it's the same thing Matt Ryan did yesterday. Antonio Brown status: In and out. Jaguars interception! A nice play by Myles Jack on the sideline to concentrate and bring that in. Fournette turns the corner and... scores? Have they called this yet? Oh, they said no. Marrone challenges and they might win this. Reversed! Touchdown! What is happening. Bell with a badly-needed big play for the Steelers. Brown with the catch and gets a first down. Another big catch by Eli Rogers and the Steelers have been jarred awake. Fourth and 1. Steelers go for it and Bell gets wrecked. Turnover on downs. Bortles run! Fournette walks through the Steelers' defense. T.J. Yeldon in. Remember him? Touchdown Jaguars!



Another big run by Bell. Ben damn near threw another pick but Posluzny dropped it. Bell finds space. Touchdown Brown! A.J. Bouye claims he pushed off but Bouye was holding him all the way down the field. Brown caught that with one hand over his shoulder while being held. That's impressive. Fournette catches a pass and limps off. Big stop for the Steelers. Bell finding space in the passing game again. FUMBLE. TOUCHDOWN JAGUARS.






That flag's for taunting. Squib kick? Hmm. Marcell Dareus with a sack. Steelers are in four-down territory... and it's fourth down. GREAT throw by Ben over Bryant's shoulder and he brings it in for the touchdown! The Steelers badly needed that touchdown. Fournette will return for the second half, we are told. Late hit out of bounds on Bell — but replay shows Juju blocked Ramsey into him. Eagle refers to Juju as an "insistent" blocker. Jesse James somehow gets away from Ramsey for a big gain. Touchdown Steelers! All three of Roethlisberger's touchdown passes have been great, well placed throws. And good concentration by Bell on the catch.



Ah, Ryan Shazier addressed the team at halftime. Jags haven't moved the ball at all this quarter. That is, until Yeldon breaks a tackle and picks up a 3rd and 10. Bortles and Dede Westbrook can't connect.  Bell is remarkably shifty in narrow spaces.



Steelers facing another fourth and 1. PLAY ACTION? Incomplete. Jesus. Is Todd Haley trying to get fired before all the head coaching jobs are filled? Bortles finds Marquise Lee underneath and he picks up 3rd and 8. Bortles with a bomb to Cole! Touchdown Fournette. My God.
Steelers forced to go on 4th and 5. TOUCHDOWN BROWN!



And that's four great throws that have gone for touchdowns. Bortles finds Yeldon on 3rd and 5 and Yeldon gets 22 yards out of it. FULLBACK TOUCHDOWN CATCH. Steelers never saw him. This is astounding. Another Keith Jackson tribute, and a few words from Fouts, a former partner of his. That should be pass interference on Wilson against Martavis Bryant. Bell spins out of a tackle and gets about 10 more yards. Ben takes off, then tosses the ball back to Bell, and he scores! Eagle doesn't think the Steelers need to onside kick after this, with two time outs and the two-minute warning still. They did it! That's one of the worst onside kicks I've ever seen. Jaguars recover!



I get that Tomlin doesn't trust his defense — and he shouldn't, given the scoreboard — but that's still the wrong decision even before they botched the kick. 45-yard field goal is good and that finally feels like the dagger.






Steelers are scrambling here. Aaaand they're officially out of time.



By this, Bill means "Kick the field goal as soon as possible, because you won't have time to score two touchdowns and you need to recover the onside kick with time left on the clock."



Touchdown Juju but it doesn't matter. (Jaguars 45, Steelers 42)

Did the punter hurt himself making the tackle on that return? Murray with a nice catch out of the backfield. McKinnon speeds through a massive hole into the end zone. Riley Rieff smacked down Lattimore to clear the path. Speaking of good blocks, Ginn got one to turn a sure loss into a first down. Yeah, Morstead's hurt — you can see him grab his side after that punt. That's pass interference on somebody. And that's definitely on the defense. Keenum can't connect with Rudolph on third down and the Vikings settle for three. Ingram gets swallowed up. That punter is hurt. Buck notes that the Saints haven't gone deep yet, then they do and it gets picked off. Yeah, that's an underthrown ball. "Where offenses come to die." Thielen leaps over Lattimore for a big catch. Murray blows through the line for a touchdown, and it was so easy because of a hold.



That pass to Diggs; Keenum had a small window where he could have run for it, but he gets away with a throw back across the field. Michael Floyd? Oh, that's not a catch by the rules. Refs found two fouls on the Saints there. Touchdown Murray and "Let's Go Crazy" is playing. Saints finally getting things going. Buck spots a flag on this Ginn touchdown, and yes, it's an illegal shift as the Saints didn't huddle beforehand. Pass is tipped and intercepted. Add 15 for the horse collar.
Kamara! That's a well-designed blitz from one side by the Vikings, and Harrison Smith gets Brees. Saints might as well try this — they're indoors. Lutz pulls it left. That's roughing the passer. Good job, Saints. Give them 15 yards for no reason. Vikings get into field goal range in 14 seconds. Forbath misses.



Still, 17-0 Vikings at the half. Pat Shurmur's had four interviews in a week? That sack may have forced the Vikings to punt. And it did. That's his first touchback of the year? Impressive. And it wasn't even his fault. Brees sneak. Michael Thomas gets physical with Xavier Rhodes and gets 22 yards. Snead hauls in a low throw on third down. Some confusion here — the refs pick up a flag for, a pick, I guess? Thomas comes back and scores a touchdown. Saints on the board. Keenum gets pressured and throws up a dead quail, and the Saints get it! Touchdown Michael Thomas and we have a game all of a sudden. This, however, is a bad challenge.



Field goal is actually good. 20-14. Is this a wide receiver double pass? Snead just missed Kamara, who would have walked in if he'd been able to catch it.



Punt is BLOCKED. Seriously, why is there a No. 7 on the Saints' special teams unit? That's Taysom Hill? The ex-BYU quarterback who was there for 10 years and injured for five? Oh, he didn't get it, but he forced the punter off his line.



Technically, it's not a blocked punt because it went one yard past the line of scrimmage, but semantics. Saints immediately spin it up. Touchdown Brees to Kamara and the Saints lead!






Note that there's 3:01 left. THIELEN!!! That penalty will be on the Saints and it won't matter.



No, Troy, they need more. I'd have run the ball a time or two. Forbath from 53. GOOD. Vikings back in front. Brees has done this before, you know.












WTF, Duncan?






4th and 10 now. Snead! And now they're in field goal range (and still have their time out). This booth review will also stop the clock. Lutz kick is GOOD! Twenty-five seconds left! Keenum not close on either of those throws. DIGGS!!!! TOUCHDOWN VIKINGS!!!!!!










Williams completely whiffed on the tackle. If he hits Diggs, it's game over. This extra point isn't getting kicked. Buck: "By the way, the Saints are gone."




THE PRESS IS OUT ON THE FIELD. I mean, that's how the Vikings lose this exact game.



(Vikings 29, Saints 24)