Thursday, September 26, 2019

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 3: Eyes Up

It's Contractually Obligated Thursday Night! Jaguars and Gardner Flint Minshew THE SECOND will start. Minshew misses the tight end on 3rd and 1. Adoree' Jackson fumbles the punt and the Jaguars recover! He's just gotta fall on that. First and goal at the 6. Minshew finds a wide open O'Shaugnessy for the touchdown.




Jalen Ramsey IS playing, by the way. Dede Westbrook makes a nice catch over A.J. Bouye's outstretched arms. Some of the saddest uniforms in the league on display tonight. Minshew with a great over-the-shoulder throw to D.J. Chark for the touchdown. Quickly 14-0 Jags.




Titans finally get a first down. That's as far as it goes. Jackson fields this punt successfully. We've got another one of those bad roughing the passer calls here. Looks like the rain is coming down harder. Fournette drops a screen pass. Titans try to down the punt but fail. They've shut down Fournette since the Jaguars' second touchdown drive. Mariota hasn't been good but he hasn't had a single pro coach who you'd trust with a young quarterback. He just took a nine-step drop before getting pressured out of the pocket. Titans finally turn to Derrick Henry. Absolutely nothing happens for about seven minutes.




Westbrook drops a third-down pass that wouldn't have gotten him a first down anyway. Holding penalties are up 64 percent from last year already. Vrabel accepts and gets a better (for the Titans) punt out of it. They'll get the ball in Jaguars territory with 1:14 left. This drive also fizzles.







Understand something: Tom Brady has three million better things to do than watch this game. Tom Brady was not watching this game. Halftime and it's raining even harder. I think that's Dion Lewis's first carry of the game. Najee Goode's deflection saves  a touchdown. The next pass is almost intercepted. Titans go for it and Calais Campbell wrecks the pocket like he's been doing all night. Minshew with a bomb to Chark. Conley with a 20-yard catch and run. ANOTHER drop by Westbrook, this one in the end zone. That was another really well-placed throw by Minshew. Field goal is good. Henry runs for a first down. Campbell's pressure creates a sack for somebody else. Eagles-Packers next week on Fox as the simulcasts begin. Mariota gets lucky to fall on his own fumble, but the Titans have to punt.




Mariota hits Walker in stride, then finds him again two plays later. Kevin Dyson stretch highlights. Corey Davis with a nice one-handed catch on the sideline, then he fumbles but the Titans recover. Adam Humphries gets blown up as Mariota scrambles and the flags go flying. First and goal Titans from the 1! Touchdown Henry. Jags have gotten less than nothing from Fournette tonight. Which is odd, because the Titans only have two Alabama players and one of them is Derrick Henry. Oh, maybe that explains it.




Lambo field goal is good. Sacksonville is back, at least for one night. David Bryant sacked Mariota with one hand while holding off a lineman with the other. Fournette goes for 69! Nice. It's his first 25-plus yard run since November 2017 against... the Browns. Jags go for it here when a field goal makes it a 16-point game, and the pass to Westbrook is broken up. I don't like that, especially with the Titans without any time outs left. ANOTHER sack. That's nine tonight. Buck and Aikman finally mention Ramsey, as Mariota hasn't thrown in his direction at all tonight. (Jaguars 20, Titans 7)

Signal Finder: DET @ PHI, BAL @ KC, PIT @ SF

Dallas Goedert recovered from last week's carnage and is active. Eagles get the ball first. They split Sanders out wide and send him on a go route, and he's wide open for 40 yards. Did Wentz almost catch his own deflected pass? Agholor wants a pass interference flag... and he gets it. It's not a touchdown, but that field goal is rare first-quarter points. This is the first Emmys commercial I've seen and the show is in seven hours. Fox's graphics just gave Jake Elliott a 25-yard touchdown reception. The Lions just took the kickoff to the house.




No reason for Ertz to be that open. Sanders with a good cut to pick up 3rd and 1. Pocket breaks down and Wentz scrambles to the... 1. Yep, elbow's down. Touchdown Howard. Good catch by Golladay with Darby all over him. This'll be an interesting spot. "Favorable" definitely the right word. Lions now with first and goal as the quarter ends. I thought Johnson broke the plane here. Guess not. Eagles jump, Stafford throws to rookie T.J. Hockenson for a touchdown, but the refs say he stepped out of bounds. Johnson leaps over the pile and scores. Comparisons of Belichick's and Reid's coaching trees is laughingly one-sided... in Reid's favor. And it's just the ones who are currently coaching. Two straight first downs for Mack Hollins, but the second one is canceled for offensive pass interference. Spielman's last game with the Lions was the 58-37 wild card loss at the vet in 1995. Eagles get a stop on 3rd and 15 and here's the first punt. Again, how is Ertz that open when he's clearly the No. 1 guy today? Sanders fumbles but it squirts backwards five yards and Semualo recovers it without incident. Lions jump offside, but the fans are booing because the pass — which Arceaga-Whiteside caught — won't count. Did Sanders fumble again? He did and this time the Lions recover. Double reverse and the Lions are at the 7. Eagles hold the Lions to three. Sanders gets clotheslined and his helmet torn off on the kickoff return. How is that not a face mask, Spielman wonders. Jason Peters is sick and Andre Dillard got hurt. Now Agholor fumbles and Darius Slay returns it to inside the Eagles' 20. Call stands. A shot into the end zone right here would have ended this game and I'm shocked the Lions didn't try it. They settle for three again. Wentz takes a sack on second down and that feels like a bailout. 20-10 Lions at the half and it should probably be worse. This is... not a catch by Marvin Jones. Jenkins misses the sack on the front end and Bradham misses the interception on the back end. Fortunate for the Lions he didn't know the ball was coming. The Lions are challenging that Hockenson was interfered with. He was not. Peters back for the Eagles. It is a warm day for September. Slay drops a pick-six and comes up limping. Hollins gets another OPI penalty and this one's dubious. Punt dies at the Lions' 3. Eagles take over just across midfield. Agholor bounces off two tackles and scores! Stafford beats the blitz and hits Jones for a big pickup. This... shouldn't be a touchdown. He never had control. Stafford with a perfectly placed ball to Jones for a touchdown. Nothing you can do there.




Wentz gets sacked two plays in a row because no one is open. Lions out here shooting themselves in the foot like they do. Goedert finally in and he drops an easy touchdown pass. Wentz doesn't see him on the next play, but Sproles gets plastered out of bounds. Touchdown Agholor, followed by a mea culpa from Spielman after he thought Hollins was going to be flagged for another OPI, but he wasn't. 27-24. Amendola gets both toes inbounds on a catch I was ready to insist that the Eagles challenge. That's good replay work. Stafford underthrows an open Jones, and Brenneman's right — he rushed that throw. Eagles take over. Pederson going for it on 4th and 8. Wentz is forced out of the pocket, runs, but comes up a yard short. With 2:18 left and three time outs, maybe they should have punted. Sidney Jones knocks a third-down pass away from Golladay. Field goal is BLOCKED!! Jenkins comes in utterly untouched (Extend that man) and Douglas has it! It looks like there was an illegal block penalty that wasn't announced, so the ball's at midfield. Sproles makes a great catch on the sideline on 4th and 5, but the refs say he pushed off. Now it's 4th and 15. Arceaga-Whiteside drops it and that's it. Seven drops for the Eagles.




That's hard to do. (Lions 27, Eagles 24)




How did this happen? (Patriots 30, Jets 14)

I know the rules are "the No. 1 team does a late game on doubleheader days" but with the Brees injury, Nantz and Romo should be here instead of in Seattle. The best hope for Lamar Jackson is that the Chiefs' defense may be worse than last year.




Good coverage forces Jackson to scramble and get seven. Ravens going for it on 4th and 2, a decision Fouts doesn't like. Jackson keeps it and picks it up. You don't see many quarterbacks who run like he does. What I mean by that is that he runs like a running back, waiting for holes, using his vision, and cutting back. Ingram finishes the drive off. They go for two (?) and don't get it. Ravens putting a lot of pressure on Mahomes early, to mixed results. Note that Chiefs left tackle Eric Fisher is out. That last one was a horse collar, moving the ball to the 2. LeSean McCoy spins and scores on third down. Chiefs challenge the spot on this Mark Andrews catch and get the call reversed. So it's 4th and 1 Ravens from their own 34. They give it to Edwards and he picks up five. Don't get sacked! Ravens going for it on 4th and 2. NOPE. Mecole Hardiman runs about 30 yards in both directions in what turned into a one-man reverse. Ravens send a safety after Mahomes, and DeMarcus Robinson makes a great one-handed catch for a touchdown. Might want to try covering Hardman, Ravens. Because once he gets behind you, you're not catching him. Now Butker misses an extra point. The big plays haven't been there for the Ravens so far.




Chiefs bring two time outs into this two-minute drill, which is already a success. Field goal is good and it's 23-6 Chiefs at halftime. Ravens return to the run game as it starts to rain. Touchdown Ingram! This Chiefs drive seems slow by comparison to their others. And it just ended with a pick. But there was defensive pass interference on the other side of the field. Quick pass to McCoy, and he accelerates through traffic and scores. 30-13 Chiefs now. There's Hollywood Brown. Ravens go for it on 4th and 5. Jackson somehow doesn't get sacked, and he throws up a Hail Mary duck that Seth Roberts leaps and catches at the 2! Chiefs throw a pass interference challenge flag. Nope. Ingram needs two tries to score and does. Ravens go for two for... some reason. They don't get it and it stays 30-19. Ravens force a punt. Brown's given the Ravens more big plays in the passing game through three games than it feels like they've had in several years. OPI makes things difficult. SNEAD! None of that made any sense.




Across his body, across the field — that's against everything you're taught. Frank Clark sacks Jackson and that's a killer because you really can't justify going for it on 4th and 15. Field goal is good. Did... did I just see that?





Touchdown Jackson! That's what I was talking about before. He runs like a running back. Two-point conversion fails again. Mahomes fires a quick pass to Darrell Williams, who outruns the Chiefs just long enough to get the first down and seal the win. (Chiefs 33, Ravens 28)

Are the Buccaneers still looking for a kicker? They're certainly not looking for a No. 1 receiver. I'm pretty sure Dallas Winston from The Outsiders could look like a competent NFL quarterback against this Giants defense, much less an actual quarterback in the NFL. Now Barkley's out? Jebus. Oh, Shepard's back. Shaquil Barrett has EIGHT sacks already?




Bucs stay Buc'in. EVANS AGAIN. The Giants can't do anything with him. What's Arians doing? Is he taking a delay of game penalty? Why would you deliberately move your kicker back? He MISSED??? FROM THIRTY-FOUR???? Like I said: Bucs stay Buc'in.




(Giants 32, Buccaneers 31)







Oh, it's gonna be a trash fire. (Panthers 38, Cardinals 20)

I think this is the second game I've actually seen Garoppolo play. That's inauspicious. T.J. Watt with the pick off of a poorly thrown screen pass. Mason Rudolph makes his first start for the Steelers and dumps one off to Conner, who hasn't practiced all week with a bad knee. Steelers score their first first-quarter points of the season also. Progress! Raheem Mostert drops the pitch and the 49ers are lucky to get it back. 2nd and 28. Sure. 49ers punt. Garoppolo gets pressured and throws another pass that gets tipped and intercepted, this time by newly acquired Minkah Fitzpatrick, who's starting immediately for Sean Davis. Steelers end up with another field goal and it's 6-0. Garoppolo hits Kittle with a slant for a first down. Holy hell. I thought that pass to Jusczyck was picked. Mostert loses the ball again and this time the Steelers recover. Niners are a mess right now. But the Steelers haven't done a lot offensively, either. Jusczyck again! I'm with Trent Green — that's not a penalty if Garoppolo doesn't get hit in the head. ANOTHER FUMBLE. STEELERS BALL. This is unreal.




49ers moving the ball again. Nice catch by Matt Brieda, who I assume got artificial ankle implants in the offseason. This isn't another fumble, is it? No, that's an incomplete pass. 49ers have a new holder, which bears watching. That was fine. This game is somehow 6-3. Donte Moncrief is inactive for the Steelers after two terrible games. Now Rudolph gets pressured into an interception. Garoppolo hits someone named Kendrick ward for 24 yards to the Steelers' 4. Fake pitch and shovel pass to Jusczyck fools no one. Touchdown 49ers. I don't know who these people are. Deebo Samuel ALMOST made a great catch on a deep pass by Garoppolo, but he can't maintain control of it. Trent Green thought Joe Haden had a shot at intercepting it briefly. That's somehow the 49ers first three-and-out of the season, according to Gumbel. JUJU!! 76 yards!




The kids needed that. Samuel with a tough catch over the middle. Brieda with a tough run. Who is this Wilson kid vulturing touchdowns from the 49ers' other running backs? 17-13 49ers. Crank Yankers is coming back? Who asked for that? Jason Verrett apparently interfered with two different guys on that play. One of them was James Washington, Rudolph's teammate at Oklahoma State. They hooked up for 31 touchdowns. Rudolph hits Dontare Johnson for a touchdown! Double move leads to blown coverage and the Steelers retake the lead. Mostert with a nice run for the Niners. And he didn't fumble! Niners run a jet sweep but they fumble the exchange and the Steelers recover! Good God. Kyle Shanahan got too cute again (and T.J. Watt recovered the fumble again.) Then Conner fumbles and the 49ers get it back! Oh no. Defensive holding gives the 49ers an automatic first down on 3rd and 11. To actually add insult to injury, Cam Heyward is down hurt for the Steelers, which is a bad injury in this part of the field at this point in the game. Touchdown Dante Pettis! Rudolph gets sacked, fumbles, and that's it. The Steelers simply cannot win a game west of the Mississippi River. It's bonkers. (49ers 24, Steelers 20)

Chargers get the ball back with 4:19 left and one more chance, if things go their way. Rivers looking for Keenan Allen a lot (and finding him a lot.) They don't really have to hurry here. What do they have for 4th and 13? Allen! Two minutes left. Travis Benjamin can't haul that one in. Rivers RUNNING. They run it with Ekeler on 4th and 2 and it works. Offensive holding? So much for that. Turned first and goal at the 7 into 3rd and 14. Nope, and... nope. (Texans 27, Chargers 20)

The Rams return to their ancestral roaming grounds. This is the first SNF game in Cleveland since... 2008? Nice Major League takeoff for the intro. Browns get the ball first. There's nothing Greg Robinson can do against Aaron Donald. NOTHING. Browns seem nervous, which worried Rodney Harrison pregame. Browns new secondary (three starters are hurt) doesn't give up anything on the first drive. First down Robert Woods. First down Brandon Cooks. Goff goes too high for Cooks. Legatron hits from 53. Beckham's made two catches on this drive. I'm not sure this offense needs Kareem Hunt. Nick Chubb's a good running back. Field goal is good. Browns are turning up the heat defensively. They bring seven on third down and two guys still had a chance to intercept it. (Goff should have thrown that one away, as Cooks wasn't open.) The Rams challenge for pass interference but I don't see it happening. Nope. Montage of people making THE Beckham catch (including Beckham again) Zeuerlein MISSES? Clay Matthews Jr. in the house! He's getting honored at halftime with his kid here. Was this a pass? Refs rule it a fumble. That's a fumble caused by Myles Garrett. Browns ball at the Rams' 17 with 18 seconds left in the half. But they can't advance it. Field goal is good and it's 6-3 Browns at halftime. Gurley already with three touches to start the second half. Rams burn a timeout three minutes into the second half. Good job, guys. Touchdown Kupp. Al and Cris do the Browns' Mount Rushmore and they say it's pretty easy. (Jim Brown, Paul Brown, Otto Graham, and they picked Marion Mobley for the fourth.) Chubb finds a hole. Then they throw a screen to him on 3rd and 13 and he gets 31. That's how screens beat blitzes. Landry draws a pass interference flag in the end zone. Chubb's touchdown is taken away by an illegal shift penalty. Tight end Griffin finally gets in.




Gurley hasn't done much so far outside of a couple of pretty good runs. Interception! It's being reviewed. Just as Terry McAuley is in the middle of saying, "I can't tell..." the refs announce the call stands. Mayfield and Chubb have a communication breakdown and are fortunate to not give the ball right back. Rams hold and get the ball back. Goff to Kupp to end the third quarter. Goff sneak doesn't work, then a penalty pushes the rams back. Browns get caught napping and Kupp is wide open for the touchdown. Mayfield, on the run, finds Beckham. So the refs call an illegal motion penalty but ignore the pass interference on the Rams? What? The officiating in this league gets worse every year. The Browns run a draw with Chubb on 4th and 9. It does not work. Fans boo the play call, as they should.







Then McVay calls time out before Goff hits Reynolds for almost 40 yards. What is happening down there? The Rams end up settling for three.




Goff throws another interception! That return would have gone for longer if he hadn't run into his own teammate. 2:41 left. Rams jump but they were drawn off. Dangerous and dangerously short pass to Chubb falls incomplete. Landry! Browns still have all three time outs and DON'T call one here, which makes me wonder if they're thinking about going for two if they get a touchdown here. And that concerns me, because I'm not sure I trust Kitchens to call the right play for that situation. Correct roughing call made on Donald. First and goal with three time outs and the Browns call three straight passes, which confirms my belief that Kitchens wouldn't know which play to call for a potential two-point conversion. What in God's name was that? (Rams 20, Browns 13)

Somehow this is the first time these two teams have met on MNF. Cordarrelle Patterson gets the first two touches. Bears were moving the ball nicely with short passes to get Trubisky into a rhythm until Montez Sweat sacks him, forcing a punt. Pick six for Clinton-Dix, who was traded to Washington less than a year ago, then signed with the Bears in the offseason. Decent "Let's Go Bears!" chant.




Mack with a sack, making it 3rd and 22. That seems pretty close to  a safety for Washington, at least closer than that spot at the Bears own 1 1/2.
Keenum is sacked and fumbles, but a penalty on the Bears wipes it out. Keenum scrambles for a first down to get into the red zone. Was that a delayed blitz by Danny Trevathan? Sweet. Hopkins MISSES the field goal. Maybe not the best time to use the Redskins marching band to come back from break. Trey Burton picks up a first down on a well-blocked screen pass. Trubisky overthrows an open David Montgomery, but he hits Anthony Miller in stride for first and goal. I disagree with Booger that the Bears don't have a No. 1 receiver. It's Allen Robinson. Patterson is lined up in a full house backfield! He carries it five yards to the 2. Linebacker decides to stop covering Taylor Gabriel after four seconds and Trubisky flips it to him for an easy touchdown. 14-0 Bears.




Trent Williams is still not here, by the way. Keenum to McLaurin for 22. Fumble! Bears ball! Keenum just held the ball up there and Mack slapped it out of his hands like it was nothing. Anther touchdown for Gabriel, and it was just like the last one. That's a good kickoff return. Intercepted by Kyle Fuller! Yeah, he got underneath it. I wasn't completely sure. The camera inside the first-down pole, new this year, gave the best view of that. Gabriel beat Josh Norman but couldn't stay in the end zone. They're looking at it. John Parry is the new MNF rules guy this year, and he thinks it's a catch. Call reversed! Touchdown! Keenum sacked again to end the half. Or not, as Mack was offsides. Hopkins with a sad field goal to end the half. 28-3 Bears. Keenum starts the second half with another interception to Clinton-Dix, who returns it to the Washington 24.




Piniero, kicking with a pinched nerve, misses right. London Fletcher joined the Ring of Fame at halftime. (And they spelled his name wrong on the big screen.) (At least they HAD something at halftime for this game.)




Touchdown McLaurin! Extra point is missed. Cohen with a catch-and-run for 25 yards on 3rd and 8, then Landon Collins cheap shots him after Cohen made him miss. Robinson gets open in between the zones for another first down. Norman picks off Trubisky at the 1! Big pass play from Chris Thompson. Talk returns to Trent Williams, and Booger has it right: It's not about money, as he's not owed any more guaranteed money. He no longer trusts the organization to do what's best for him and his health. Gruden barely calls time out before a delay of game. Vernon Davis mistimed his jump and lands two yards in front of Amukamara. Keenum's pass goes right through Sprinkle's hands. Booger knows what will end hurdling, but he won't say it. Put it this way: It involved defenders aiming better. Touchdown Paul Richardson on fourth down! Two point try fails. Defense forces a punt. Fourth and 1 and Keenum hits McLaurin for 7. Washington ON THE MOVE? Fourth and short. Keenum with the quarterback sneak, but he tries to go over the pile and Trevathan stops him cold!




Bears play four-minute offense and Piniero makes a field goal with 1:50 left. (Bears 31, Redskins 15)

Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, September 19, 2019

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: Sirens Called

It's Thursday night! And is this a must-win for both teams already? There was some lightning nearby earlier but the game will start on time. Buck warns us that there are only two cameras currently being manned because of that. Bucs get the kickoff.




The Panthers have switched to a 3-4 on defense. It's been all McCaffrey so far for the Panthers. NEXT WEEK: The contractually obligated Titans-Jaguars TNF. Panthers pick up the blitz, but Jarius Wright is stopped short of the first down. Here comes Riverboat Ron. Cam keeps it on a sweep and I don't think he got there. Buck doesn't like the spot. Short. Rivera challenges the spot. Call STANDS, and play has been suspended due to more lightning in the area. Let's hang back. Looks like we'll resume at 9:09. We're back early! OK. Evans can't make the catch in the end zone. Bucs have a rookie kicker who makes the field goal. Cam hits Curtis Samuel for 44 yards, and that's a guy they're gonna need to make this offense better. Wright finds the edge on 3rd and 4. Aikman on McCaffrey: "He's just short. He's not small." Field goal is good. 3-3. Ex-Buc Gerald McCoy with an absolute stuff for a loss of seven. Winston gets sacked by Panthers' top pick Brian Burns, and that's a bad sack because, despite  what Aikman said, Chris Godwin WAS open. That's a good punt and a good return. Greg Olsen lives! I legit thought he'd retired. Drive stalls outside the red zone and the field goal is good. Winston hasn't played well again tonight so far. I feel like the Bucs could get something for Cameron Brate. Winston hits Godwin for a touchdown. The Panthers will need D.J. Moore's hands, also. Chris Hogan's a Panther? OK. Panthers two-minute'ing well here.




Their rookie kicker (because Gano is hurt) hits from 54 and it's 10-9 Bucs at halftime.




Olsen beats man-to-man coverage for a big gain. Cam gets sacked. Oh, look, Cam got hit in the head and it wasn't called. Imagine my shock. He finds Olsen again on the next drive and Olsen already has 104 receiving yards. That's Barrett's second sack in as many drives. Make that two sacks in a row. This Panthers' offensive line still isn't any good.




CLANG! It's good. Panthers somehow lead, 12-10.




Winston to Godwin for 24. That pass was thrown so badly even Keuchly couldn't make a play on it, and he was closer to it than anyone else. Ronald Jones with a good run. Not smart by McCoy. Peyton Barber slices through the defense for a touchdown. Arians has TWO women on his staff, and also has the largest staff in the league. Cam gets hit and throws an interception, but defensive holding wipes it out. Cam fumbles two plays later and the Bucs get the ball anyway.




Breshad Perriman missing a crucial third-down catch? That's never happened before. Field goal is... wide right to end the third quarter. Fans start to boo as Cam airmails one on 3rd and 12. Punt pins the Bucs at their own 3. That delay of game saved them from a safety. FOR ONE PLAY. Keuchly pulls Barber down from behind. Ball comes out, but he's ruled down.




Barrett jumps all the way offsides. Why not sneak Cam there? And then they throw deep on 4th and 1? What's going on here? The Bucs go three and out and then Cam, for some reason, decides to throw to a not-open Samuel. Bucs taking a lot of time to do nothing. Field goal is good.




Rivera challenging for pass interference. Is this the first one of the regular season? First one I've seen. That's... close. But as Pereira said, if it was within five yards, it's Illegal Contact, which isn't reviewable. Call (or no-call, in this case) STANDS. These Panthers receivers can't get open. That's an... interesting spot. The Buccaneers don't challenge that, which has Buck and Aikman stunned. McCaffrey gets 11. Samuel makes a catch in traffic, then gets 15 more because of a facemask before he caught it. Now they're trying to figure out how much penalty yardage to add. It should be 15 yards, since it was before the catch. That took entirely too long.




D.J. Moore gets 8 on third and 10. Bucs call their second straight time out, seeing something they don't like. That's a penalty, and it makes it 4th and less than a yard now. Why is Cam lined up as a tight end? Direct snap to McCaffrey, who goes left and gets knocked out of bounds... short! Bucs take over! This is being reviewed but there's nothing here that'll change this.




Call stands. The Bucs can't sit on this with 1:22 still left. Oh, they actually can. My bad. (Buccaneers 20, Panthers 14)

Signal Finder: DAL @ WSH, BUF @ NYG, AZ @ BAL (end), SEA @ PIT (end), MIN @ GB (end), NO @ LAR

Antonio Brown shouldn't be playing. There, I said it. Tom Brady's somehow 7-9 in Miami but losing this game would be the worst loss of his career. This is bad comedy. The Patriots are not calling off the dogs here.




And that's why he shouldn't have played. Especially on the road. (Patriots 43, Dolphins 0)

DRC's still in the league? Washington must have just signed him because he wasn't with them last week. They're already riddled with injuries again this season. Zeke breaks through the line for a big gain. Bad throw by Dak gets intercepted. Peterson catches a pass on 3rd and 2 for a first down, but gets stopped at the Cowboys 1. Second quarter starts with him scoring. Dak scrambles to get the Cowboys out of their own end. Devin Smith outruns Josh Norman, and Dak finds him off of play action for a touchdown. CLANG and the extra point is good. Burkhardt reminds us (because we'd forgotten) that Smith was a Jet and has fought knee injuries in the last two seasons. He also points out that the safety who isn't Landon Collins also failed to help last week on one of Desean Jackson's touchdowns. Dak takes off on a keeper and gets 42 (and probably would have scored if Gallup had been able to block Norman.) Rookie mistake by Montez Sweat and he gets caught roughing Prescott, giving the Cowboys first and goal inside the 5. Another Washington penalty brings  anew set of downs. Touchdown Witten. Is this Cooper's first catch today? Touchdown Cooper after a Potato (Norman? No, on replay) makes a play on the ball but whiffs. 21-7 Cowboys. Fourth and seven and the offense is still out there. Keenum finds Quinn for nine. Richardson finds space inside and dives into the end zone. Cowboys run a jet sweep with Cobb, which the Packers did a fair amount of. DRC is back but Charles Davis points out that he's hobbled. Tony Pollard, Elliott's backup, runs to the Washington 3. He takes the next carry into the end zone untouched, but offensive holding will bring it back. Defense holds on to force a field goal attempt. It's good. Flag? Offsides. Declined. Xavier Woods juggles an interception and ends up dropping it. Fourth and 3 and Washington goes for it, but has to burn a time out before the play clock expired. It does... not work. Cowboys driving and burning clock. Touchdown Elliott. The defense was supposed to be Washington's better unit, and it's given up 63 points in two games. (Cowboys 31, Redskins 21)





Sadly, this was the highlight. (Colts 19, Titans 17)

Giants' second play is a jet sweep by Bennie Fowler, the other starting wide receiver since Shepard's out with a concussion that's being investigated. Giants' fifth play is a 27-yard touchdown run by Barkley. He got three of the five touched on that drive. It just occurred to me what Gumbel was walking about earlier — the Bills played here LAST week. Bills go three and out. Josh Allen hits a wipe-open guy after a hard sell on a play fake. Allen rolls right heading for the corner of the end zone... and he gets there. Giants with no passing yards through the first quarter. Touchdown Devin Singletary and that was EASY. That's a fantastic special teams play to pin the Bills at their own 1. Fifty-one yards to Cole Beasley. That is suboptimal. Isaiah McKenzie scores and the Bills just went 98 yards on the Giants. Dear God.




Giants being methodical on this drive, which doesn't really seem like the best strategy down two touchdowns, but it's working so far. Field goal is... no good! Bills haven't had a 300-yard passer in 34 games. Allen's at 210 already. Giants LEAP offsides. Now we got an altercation after a Giants defender drives Allen to the turf. Allen is flagged for grounding, then a teammate is penalized for coming to his defense. Giants get a big and much-needed punt return from someone named T.J. Jones. Eli's pass is defected and intercepted! Bills' top pick Ed Oliver knocked it down. Bills content to go into halftime up 21-7. The NFL Today crew touches on whether it's Daniel Jones time. Phil Simms says no. Did Allen fumble on this sack? The Giants want to challenge this, but Allen's forward progress was stopped, the refs say. Trent Green is against the Giants making a quarterback change, as it's only a two-touchdown game. Also, a new quarterback isn't gonna make that defense any better. CBS plays "Green Onions" into a commercial break. Allen throws it behind a wide-open Zay Jones, showing that questionable accuracy that should have concerned more college evaluators. Then he gets sacked. Fowler and Core as the main receivers was not in the Giants' plan. More Barkley, please. Touchdown Giants. Now Latimer's out with a concussion. Allen's mobility bought him time to find John Brown for a first down. Big penalty on Giants rookie Dexter Lawrence on a made field goal (this is probably his first time on special teams since high school at the latest), which gives the Bills first and goal at the Giants' 2. Touchdown FRANK GORE. Eli having problems. First he badly overthrows Fowler on a deep ball, then he throws what should have been an interception to Tremaine Edmunds. This Singletary graphic has him wearing No. 40. He wears No. 26.




(Bills 28, Giants 14)



Imagine a mediocre college coach with a career losing record wouldn't look good in his first couple of NFL games. IMAGINE. False start on the Cardinals. Someone named Brandon Gaudin is calling this game, along with... Cris Carter? Murray throws up a wounded duck on third down with two receivers in the area, and somehow neither man had a chance to catch it. MARQUIS IS THE SUPERIOR BROWN. Jackson dropped that right into his basket. Game. Oh, and look at the final margin of victory. (Ravens 23, Cardinals 17)



Wait, why'd we get switched out of Cardinals-Ravens to this game? Is there less time left? Offensive holding is not what the Seahawks needed. Wilson is forced out of the pocket on 3rd and 16 and slides... about a yard and a half short. Seahawks call time out out of the two-minute warning for... some reason. Handoff to Carson (who had a costly fumble earlier in this quarter), who gets two yards. Seahawks will get away with one, and the Steelers have... concerns. (Seahawks 28, Steelers 26)


Eighty-four. Million. Guaranteed. And some of that awful pick is on whoever called a pass play on first and goal from the 5 when your running game's been saving you the whole time. Cousins doesn't have a Hail Mary arm. (Packers 21, Vikings 16)


Absolutely terrible interception by Flacco. Two-point conversion is... good! What? Delay of game? Now the Broncos kick it to tie it. NO GOOD. Wait, what? The Bears were offside? Now the Broncos go for two again. Sanders!!



How is that roughing the passer? That's LUDICROUS. Why throw short there? You don't have time. Wait, WHAT? They ruled Robinson DID call time out in time? Wow. Oh, TRUBISKY called the time out. Piniero from 54. IT'S GOOD!



(Bears 16, Broncos 14)


Plenty of good seats still available. It's pretty loud, though. Also hot, Buck says as he hopes the clouds don't break. Saints get the ball first. That interception was an actual car crash — Eric Weddle leveled Jared Cook, knocking the ball loose, and John Johnson ended up with it. Buck reminds us he's the one who had the overtime interception in last year's NFC title game. Demarrio Davis eats up Gurley. Goff goes DEEP to Cooks, who catches it. Well done on both ends. Some odd play calling inside the Saints' 10 ends up with the Rams kicking a field goal. I swear, Aaron Donald folded space to get into the backfield. Brees gets hit on the hand, and he's getting taped up on the sideline as the Rams take over. Cameron Jordan fights through and gets to Goff. I don't need Johnny Hekker's ass in my face, Fox. Bridgewater is in. Brees isn't even trying to throw on the sideline, Erin says. Again, Donald flies through the line to wreck Kamara. Flags and bad plays hurting the Saints here. Aikman spotted an illegal crackback block. Third and 28 and Bridgewater just gives up. Bridgewater's been much better on this drive than the last one. Thomas didn't help him there, though. Field goal is good and we're tied at 3. The new stadium has a name — SoFi, an online personal finance company. Goff's made some good throws on this drive. That's an easy pass interference call on Eli Apple, who just isn't good. Illegal block negates a beautifully-run Woods touchdown. Goff... fumbles? Jordan picks it up and is off to the races, but it's blown dead. It's ruled an incomplete pass, which is what I thought it was. Let's see. That's... very close. I'm not sure this can be challenged.



It's ruled a fumble, but Jordan would have scored if the whistle hadn't blown. Speaking of blown, the refs did it to the Saints AGAIN. This is some Pac-12 shit. Sack is canceled out by a face mask penalty. Buck points out that the Brees injury also takes Taysom Hill out of the game, since he'd have to play quarterback if something happens to Bridgewater. Two plays later, Hill is in and catches a pass on third down that's short of the line. Kamara carries and I don't think he got it. Chains are out. NOPE. Gurley with his best run of the season. I'm a few minutes out from this but I think I hate the new SmackDown logo. Call time out, McVay! Field goal is good. 6-3 at the half and we all know it should be more, on both sides. After the Rams do nothing of note, Bridgewater comes out to start the second half.Lutz ties it at 6. Another big play from Woods and this one counts. Gurley converts 3rd and 1. Gerald Everett fights for 11 yards after a catch. Gurley goes left and gets to the pylon! Bridgewater sacked back-to-back. That's a good punt return, maybe the Rams' one weakness the last couple of years. Give him his helmet back! Gurley's backup Malcolm Brown making moves. Touchdown Cooks! Ta'Quan Smith almost had a touchdown, breaking two tackles and going for 28. You can tell Bridgewater's rusty — he missed those last two passes pretty badly and the Saints have to settle for three. The Saints can't tackle Cooper Kupp. That's not a touchdown? Disappointing. Goff sneaks it. The Saints shouldn't (I want to say "won't", but we all know they will) dwell on getting jobbed out of a touchdown here — they have bigger problems at the moment. (Rams 27, Saints 9)

Roof is OPEN for... some reason. Falcons get the ball first. Ryan hitting his guys early. Graham comes unblocked and stuffs Freeman. Matt Bryant back. 3-0 Falcons early. Bryant's kicking off for the first time in 10 years, and I'm wondering who's gonna punt. Imagine feeling like you need to hold Mack Hollins. That flag is followed by a false start. Agholor should have caught that. Hollins was drafted in part because of his special-teams ability, and he just downed that punt at the Falcons' 1. Falcons challenge this Douglas play on Julio Jones as pass interference and lose it. Bosher's still going to punt, but not kick off. Falcons call time out, giving them one with 1:14 left in the first quarter. Good job, Quinn. Wentz gets blitzed, escapes a sack, but throws an interception. He took a clean shot after the throw and grabbed his chest. Jackson's already in the medical tent.





Good play in the air by McLeod to break up a pass to Jones. Short punt ends up in Eagles territory. That's kind of cool, that monument to Hank Aaron's 715th home run in the parking lot where the old Georgia Dome was. Wentz comes back out. Ertz rolls for an extra yard but he needed two extra yards. Agholor catches that one. Nobody open on third down. NOBODY. That quad window was well done. Field goal is good. Jones makes a leaping sideline catch. Does he? They say he is, and replay shows he is. Falcons get the next play off and save the Eagles from losing a challenge. Taylor McGary limping. Ryan overthrows two open guys in the end zone on consecutive plays. Field goal is partially blocked? Nope, Bryant just mishit it. Wentz immediately throws another interception and I have no idea what happened there. Ryan finds Ridley this time for a touchdown. Wentz and Darby notably not playing well so far.



Wentz almost threw a third interception. The saving grace so far has been that the Falcons' receivers are getting practically no yards after the catch. Eagles get a stop and now Josh McCown's in. Ertz slips, wants a flag, but doesn't get it. McCown's also a bit rusty, but he finally hits Ertz on target.



McCown throws one too high for Agholor, who walks off as Wentz comes back in. Shouldn't all these dudes be getting treatment? Elliott hits from 41. 10-6 Falcons at halftime. Clement fumbles the second-half kickoff and now HE'S holding his shoulder. Shovel pass to Freeman gets 29 yards inside the 5. They roll out Ryan? Touchdown Jones! Wentz cleared concussion protocol, but Agholor is currently in it.



Fucking Killing Fields down there. Agholor back out as Hollins makes a catch for a first down. This is about the fourth holding call the Falcons have had on a punt return tonight. Check out Al's poor Keith Jackson impression of Keith Jackson saying "Keith Jackson." Or don't, preferably. Eagles bring a safety blitz and Darby — who's been used and abused all night — picks him off! Wentz escapes pressure again but can only get it to Hollins at the 5. Pederson going for it while really shorthanded, as Cris points out. Touchdown Agholor! Now they line up to go for two, again, really shorthanded. Wentz keeps it (?!) and converts... but it's reviewed and his knee was down. No good.



And if he did "give himself up", why wasn't a flag thrown for hitting a downed quarterback? Stocker fumbles a pass but Sanu comes flying in and beats Bradham to the loose ball. Wow. Big run by Ito Smith, who puts a move on McLeod to get eight more yards at the end. Nathan Gerry intercepts Ryan in the end zone! A personal foul will put the ball at the 10 but that's huge, since I don't think there will be more than one more scoring play in this game. They called that a sack? THAT'S a sack. (Sendejo on Ryan.) Schwartz hasn't called this many blitzes in a month's time. Yeah, that's a hold. Agholor gets a lot of air to make that catch. Wentz escapes again, BARELY, and somehow Hollins didn't let that hit the turf. He got that off JUST before his knee hit the turf. Wentz sneak gives the Eagles first and goal at the 1. They sneak it again and Wentz scores! There's a flag, but it's called offsides. They'll go for two here after this time out. Pass to Ertz is good. 20-17 with 3:14 left. Cris notes that recent Eagles-Falcons scores have been around this.  Ryan throws incomplete on 3rd and 3. Falcons going for it from their own 47. JONES. TOUCHDOWN. 24-20 Falcons with 2:10 left. Jake Matthews leveled Maddox with a block, and Andrew Sendejo doesn't run down Julio Jones in any universe. Agholor drops a possible touchdown. Sproles gets out of bounds on 3rd and 2. Wentz misses Ertz, who takes a shot afterward but comes back in after the Eagles use a time out. Wentz gets sacked, and the offensive line hasn't had a great night. Fourth and 14. AGHOLOR! Inside the 20! And now a bunch of people are down and hurt. Peters, Ricardo Allen, Keanu Neal's either hurt or sitting there in disbelief. 1:11 left. Andre Dillard replaces Peters for one play. Eagles out of time outs. Wentz throws too high on 3rd and 8. Wentz goes to Ertz, and this is going to be close. I think it's short. It is.



(Falcons 24, Eagles 20)


This was actually the first Monday Night Football game. Sam Darnold has MONO, of all things. That somehow seems uniquely Jets. Hank is solo again this year, for those who keep track of such things. The Jets are already on their fourth kicker since the start of camp. The new guy is ex-Penn Stater Sam Ficken, who filled in with the Rams for a bit last year. Browns will get the ball first, though. Two Chubb runs, then a 27-yard pass play to his backup Johnson (not Duke). BECKHAM. Was that in the same spot? Jets stand at the goal line and force a field goal. Trevor Siemian is the Jets' new starter, and he immediately gets sacked by Myles Garrett, who the Jets didn't bother to block. Second Browns drive ends with a second field goal after Mayfield badly overthrows Beckham on third down.  That LEGO ad was twice as long as it needed to be. Jamal Adams puts a serious hit on Beckham on third down. Has Bell touched the ball yet? Garrett came a bit early and hit Siemian a bit late (and was flagged for both.) Offensive holding takes away a 31-yard Robby Anderson catch. Jets offense can't do anything. Mayfield finds Beckham in the middle of the zone for 29 yards. The Jets have a "Basham"? Browns throw short for some reason. Now they're gong for it on 4th and about 2 from the Jets 24. Pass is incomplete but the Jets get caught holding. Touchdown Nick Chubb.



There's Bell with an 8-yard run. Siemian gets pressured and throws up a floater that luckily isn't intercepted. He gets planted by Garrett and he's not getting up.



He walked off during the commercial break. Luke Falk is in. Two strong runs by Bell. Make that four. Why weren't they doing that the whole time? Ty Montgomery's now a Jet, but still wearing No. 88. Ficken is in to try the field goal. It's GOOD to a big pop. The Jets have brought a lot of pressure to Mayfield, who's only six feet tall, and he's had a few passes knocked down tonight. The Browns run Johnson on 3rd and 10 and get seven. OK. Sure. Amazing that Josh Bellamy dropped that. That was the best throw from a Jets quarterback all game.



The Browns get the ball back and take a shot into the end zone. It falls incomplete. Landry converts a 3rd and 20 and the Browns spike it. Austin Seibert's kick is good from 43 and it's 16-3 at halftime.



The Browns' offensive line is their biggest weakness by far. I don't know why teams try to draw the defense offsides on fourth and short situations instead of committing to either going for it or punting. It works so rarely. Garrett is destroying whoever the Jets put in front of him. This leads to footage of Garrett training with Stipe Miocic, the new (2-time) UFC heavyweight champion and a Cleveland guy himself.



Anderson with the Jets' first big play of the night. Then he converts a 3rd and 5. Falk overthrows Anderson in the end zone. Jets go for it on 4th and 2. Give it to Bell, please. They do, but the play took too long to develop and the Browns stop him. First Browns play? 89 yards to Beckham. Touchdown. BLOCK MYLES GARRETT. Bell reverses field and fights for about 10 yards. Jets go for it on fourth down again and come up short. I wouldn't have hated it if Gase challenged this spot, even though I hate challenging spots. Jets get a pick off a tipped pass! The Dolphins just traded their No. 1 pick from last season.



The pass goes off Bell's hands and the Browns come up with it.



Somehow they have footage of Booger sacking Browns coach Freddie Kitchens in college (he was a quarterback at Alabama during the dark times.) The Jets have the fewest of their own drafted players of any team this year, and over half the roster is new. That matters. (Browns 23, Jets 3)
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, September 12, 2019

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 1: Setting Up

One hundred years of... this. Al and Chris are in vests with "Press" hats, as per the time period. Gotta say, Al's making it work. Anthem is followed by the intro to "Zoot Suit Riot", which would be more appropriate in Los Angeles. Virginia McCaskey narrates the intro, and she probably has seen more football games than anyone else. I guess they're saving the new song for Sunday night.




Packers will get the ball first. First play is a handoff to Aaron Jones for nothing. Offensive holding on a sack finishes off a three-and-out. Tarik Cohen fumbles the handoff after the Bears line up in a full house backfield.

Defensive holding leads to a first down. Trubisky scrambles for a first down. Meanwhile, Serena Williams just demolished Elena Svitolina in 70 minutes. Kind of like what Blake Martinez just did to Trubisky, coming in unblocked. Rookie David Montgomery makes his first appearance for the Bears. Bears in... FIELD GOAL RANGE. Here comes the survivor of the Chicago Kicking Wars, Eddy Piniero. It's GOOD! Huge pop. He went to Florida after being turned down by Alabama. Then he sends the kickoff out of bounds. Packers can't do anything. Montgomery breaking tackles, as was his trademark in college. 3-0 Bears after 1.




When did the Bears get Cordarrelle Patterson? Kevin King drops an interception. The Packers had -12 yards in that first quarter.




Reminder: Thursday night games almost universally stink. Rodgers goes deep to Valdes-Scantling and hits him for 47. Swing pass to Marcedes Lewis. Touchdown Jimmy Graham! That took 1:35.




OOPS. Rodgers to Adams to convert 3rd and 5. Good protection there. That's a good punt. Suddenly it's the Packers defense that's imposing its will. Both quarterbacks have been badly off target a lot as the half winds down. Al recounts the story of new Packers coach Matt LaFleur tearing his Achilles in minicamp, of all places. Packers get the ball back with 22 seconds left and a time out. Graham gets to midfield. Hail Mary time? Yeah, that only works at the end of games. 7-3 Pack at halftime.

Trubisky sacked again as the offenses have reverted to first quarter form. Montgomery makes the first Bears offensive play in the second half with a catch. Nagy passes on a 50-yard field goal try to go for it on 4th and 10. It does not work. FISTICUFFS! YOU HEARD? Davante Adams trying to go one-on-four after the turnover on downs. I'm amazed there was no roughing call. Pretty sure Rodgers was past the line of scrimmage on that throw that didn't count. Still 7-3 after 3. Add 15 to that Robinson catch for the late hit out of bounds. Is that still Tramon Williams? LaFleur seems to be just as bad at challenges as his predecessor. Call stands.




That's... not an interception. Ball hit the ground. It was VERY close, though. Trubisky throws up a jump ball... that's caught by Taylor Gabriel! But the refs say he DID push off here, and it'll come back. FIRST AND 40. Trubisky throws incomplete on 3rd and 31 and the crowd boos. Adams limps off the field out of camera shot. Rodgers gets sacked again. This game's really gonna end 7-3, isn't it? Or not. Crosby field goal makes it 10-3.




Cohen makes a move on the outside to get a first down. Gabriel makes a falling catch on the sideline, but the Packers challenge. This one they should win. Overturned. Robinson picks them up with a catch on the next play. Trubisky lofts one in to the end zone and it's intercepted by ex-Bear Adrian Amos!




Packers throw on 2nd and 5 for some reason. And then they punt it TO Cohen? That's a good kick, though. Newcomer Preston Smith gets what looks to be the game-ending sack. Cubs-Brewers was 10-5, by the way. Tirico's the only NBC guy who picked the Packers! (Packers 10, Bears 3)

Signal Finder: WSH @ PHI, IND @ LAC, NYG @ DAL, DET @ AZ (end)

No Adrian Peterson for the Potatoes, who's a healthy scratch and not everybody's happy about it. The same man (Lud Wray) was the first coach of both of these teams. Eagles win the toss and defer. Lot of youth on this offense. But it's the old man — Vernon Davis — who jumps over Darby, breaks a tackle where about four Eagles collided, and scores. He's walking off slowly, like he tired himself out. Wentz hits Jackson, who got the biggest ovation in pregame introductions and for that catch. Then he gets into a scrap with Quinton Dunbar and gets flagged, even though it looks like Dunbar started it. (This is why I can't root for the dude. He's extraordinarily stupid.)




Third and 17 now, and it ends as you'd expect. Eagles secondary doesn't appear to be any better than it was last year so far. Keenum goes to Richardson in the end zone. This is covered well, but Richardson catches it... but he's out of bounds. Graham says "Not this time" to Davis on third down. Field goal is good. Jordan Howard with a catch. Notable that Miles Sanders actually took the first snap but Howard's in now. Fourth and 2 from the 29 and Pederson's going for it. Knocked down at the line. Keenum almost immediately hits rookie Terry McLaurin for a 70-yard touchdown, beating Rasul Douglas badly.




Eagles call a deep pitch to Sproles on 3rd and 1 for some reason and he loses two yards. Eagles finally get some pressure and force a punt. Jeffery finally gets into the game. Goedert takes a strong shot and can't complete the catch. Wentz lobs one to Jackson for a touchdown! Guice is stopped on 3rd and 3, and Washington's lining up to for it. They're on their own 35, by the way. This was just an offsides feint that doesn't work. Who do they think they're playing? The Bengals? Seriously, who names their kid Tress? (The Eagles got close to that punt, by the way.) Offensive holding forces a re-kick. This one goes for 57 and the Eagles end up losing two yards.




McLaurin makes a difficult catch on the sideline to get into Eagles territory. Finally, a sack. They get some back and Hopkins will try from 48. Barely good. 20-7 Potatoes at the half at a rage-filled Linc.




That's... strange. Pederson going for it on 4th and 1. Charles Davis isn't a fan. QB sneak picks it up. Why is Sproles getting so much run? Oh. Sanders probably could have scored there. Got tripped up from behind. Davis notes that Brandon Brooks tore his Achilles in JANUARY and is back. Landon Collins is finally spotted. Touchdown Jeffery, who was covered by linebacker Jon Bostic because Josh Norman went to cover Desean, who's not really a goal-line threat. Graham and Cox with big stuffs force the Potatoes to bail out. Desean AGAIN! Touchdown! That's his 31st 50-plus yard touchdown of his career.




I know I was all over him earlier, and wrote a whole thing a few years back (and a few lines up) about how hard he is to root for, but he brings something the Eagles haven't had since he left. Extra point is good and the Eagles have taken the lead. Good cameras on Wentz's eyes on the replays. Keenum overthrows McLaurin, who would have scored. Washington goes three and out.




Jackson alone on the sideline for 19. Is that Agholor's first catch? Jebus, this team is stacked. Ertz with some yards after the catch and they'll end the third quarter inside the 5. Inside screen to Jeffery for a touchdown. Eagles going for two here? Sproles loses his footing briefly, but two spins later it's 29-20. This has become the Jaguars season opener from 2014. Wentz rolls left and finds Ertz for a first down. Howard with his first big play as an Eagle. Offensive holding negates Sanders' first touchdown. Harold Carmichael getting some video footage love. Dude was 6-foot-8 playing wide receiver. Wentz sneak gets it to the 10 and creates first and goal. This drive has gone for more than nine minutes. Is Howard the "closer" back? Field goal is good. 3:10 left. Welcome, New Audience. That Malik Jackson injury is worrisome. Late touchdown for Washington is shrugworthy but also Significant To Some. Onside kick fails. (Eagles 32, Redskins 27)

What the hell, Falcons? (Vikings 28, Falcons 12)

Weird weekend for the Brown family. Lamar Jackson is GOING OFF.







The Dolphins might go 0-16. IT'S 42-3 AT THE TWO MINUTE WARNING. OF THE FIRST HALF. RGIII in to start the fourth. Could the Dolphins manage to go 0-19?




TAG. Also:







(Ravens 59, Dolphins 10)

I thought Gurley wasn't going to be on a play count? (Rams 30, Panthers 27)




Um, Browns? What in God's name are these end zones? Well this certainly won't provoke any overreactions. (Titans 43, Browns 13)




Ouch. And we were all worried about Wentz getting hurt again. Wait, what? Their backup is WHO?




Tyreek Hill's hurt? That's a shame. Internal power outage in Jacksonville — they apparently don't have replay in the stadium. (Chiefs 40, Jaguars 26)




Yeaaaaah. (Bills 17, Jets 16)

DIGNITY HEALTH SPORTS PARK. It is now truly the Jacoby Brissett era. Is that stadium rim new? That's actually a decent-sized crowd, and considering Recent Events, it's probably also mostly L.A. folks. Chargers ball first. First series ends in a sack. Brissett gets lucky his first pass wasn't picked off. Chargers moving, but the drive stalls inside the 10. Kicking note: the Chargers' punter is handling kicking duties this week, as their kicker got hurt last week. It's good, but a penalty on the Colts gives the Chargers a first down that they take. Touchdown Austin Ekeler (half of Melvin Gordon's two-headed replacement) and the plan pays off. Jack Doyle was pretty wide open there. Colts keep moving the ball. Touchdown Hilton. Viniatieri missed that? Was that Mark Sanchez on the Colts' sideline? I thought he retired. This is an interesting contrast on offense as the Chargers start this drive by going long to Keenan Allen. Touchdown Chargers! Darius Leonard down for the Colts. Chargers field goal is good. Colts drillin'. I think I like Devin Funchess as a No. 2 possession guy here. Thought he was pushed beyond his station in Carolina. DIGNITY HEALTH SPORTS PARK is the 51st stadium Viniatieri has kicked in. He still hasn't made one, though, missing a field goal at the end of the first half. 17-6 Bolts.




Marlon Mack breaks off a 63-yard touchdown run! 24-16 Chargers. Hilton gets 16 on 3rd and 17. Colts punt. Muffed! Colts get it back! Oh, Sanchez is the punter. OK, that's solved. Touchdown Ebron! No? It's ruled incomplete. Colts have to challenge this. This one's tough, because he gets both feet down in the end zone, but he bobbles the ball as he's falling. Call STANDS. Viniatieri CLANGS and misses again! Trent Green points out that all three of his misses have been at the same end of the field. Rivers throws an interception in the end zone! Great play by Malik Hooker to swoop in and bring it back to the 20. (He ONE-HANDED that. I didn't realize it until watching SportsCenter.) Colts running it with Mack and taking their time, but he loses five here. Brissett to Hilton only gets 16 on 3rd and 19. Colts facing 4th and 4 just across midfield. They go for it as Gumbel and Green debate what play to call. It's a quick hitch to Funchess that works. Colts return to the ground for the most part. Mack didn't get this first down. Oh, he DID. Crucial. Hilton spins away from a guy, streaks down the sideline... and gets it in? He does! Colts have to go for two. They give it to Mack and he gets there! We're tied! Chargers spin their wheels and we go to overtime. Chargers win the toss. Rivers to Keenan Allen for 18. That's a catch. Rivers to Hunter Henry for 17 and into Colts territory. Big run by Ekeler. Derek Watt picks up 2 on 3rd and 1 from the Colts' 9. Touchdown Ekeler! Chargers win! And Gordon loses a little bit. (Chargers 30, Colts 24, OT)

Troy thinks this Cowboys team might be as good as some of his and... I don't know about that. The Cowboys planned 55 snaps for Elliott if he hadn't held out? That's nuts. Cowboys get the ball first. That went well.




Barkley fumbles on his first carry but his fullback recovers. I'm sorry, but whenever I hear "Xavier Woods", I'm always going to default to the wrestler. Barkley gets it again and goes for 59! Giants have to burn a time out two plays later. Eli rolls out on a play fake and finds a wide-open Evan Engram for a touchdown. Elliott turns a screen into a 15-yard first down. Dak finds Blake Jarwin wide open for the touchdown.




Engram gets some good blocking on a 19-yard tight end screen. ELI RUNNING. Did that thing get deflected? It looks like Demarcus Lawrence hit Eli's arm, causing that ball to float up like a duck. Two plays later, Eli gets flushed from the pocket and flagged for intentional grounding. Dak hits Michael Gallup for 36, beating Giants rookie De'Andre Baker. Is this game gonna get to halftime before Phillies-Mets ends? Dak to Gallup again. The Giants don't have a pass rush or linebackers. Expect to see a lot of stuff like this. Randall Cobb (!) fights off a tackle and gets first and goal. TOUCHDOWN JASON WITTEN. Jerryworld's as loud as it's ever been.




Cowboys blow up a screen and fall on the ball, but it's an incomplete pass. Dak gives a defender a shoulder shot while running for a first down. Why do the Cowboys have an ex-quarterback coaching tight ends? Witten and a Giants defender get their shoes tangled up somehow. Dak hits Cooper in stride in the end zone.




Giants throw a Hail Mary that falls flat. 21-7 Cowboys. So I missed who's actually starting at WR for the Giants with Golden Tate suspended and Sterling Shepard maybe still hurt? Nice catch by Cody Latimer, who's one answer to that question. Giants lose Cobb, who walks into the end zone. For some reason, Eli decides to run outside, gets crunched, and fumbles. No flag for illegal contact since he was out of the pocket. Cowboys ball. Dak hits Gallup for what turns into a 62-yard catch-and-run. Zeke runs for 8. Touchdown Elliott and this is what Giants fans have to look forward to all season. That's a bad defense, friends. 35-10 Cowboys after 3.




Now we go into an extended discussion of Daniel Jones and the Giants finally having some sort of succession plan at quarterback. Oh, and here he is, since there's no reason to risk Eli further. (Cowboys 35, Giants 17)


This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Seahawks 21, Bengals 20

I'd ask how the Lions blew their lead, but they're the Lions. Touchdown Fitzgerald! Murray flips it to Christian Kirk and we're tied! 44 seconds left! This is SO LIONS. Overtime. The result will be on brand. Which result? Doesn't matter. It's the Lions and the Cardinals. IT WILL BE ON BRAND. Cardinals win the toss and receive. Murray throws a strike to Fitzgerald for 45 yards!




See? The Cardinals not getting a touchdown here was extraordinarily Cardinals. Did Jones catch that? I thought it bounced off the turf. Guess not. And the Lions settle for a field goal and we're tied again. Pass knockdown leads to a 4th and 7 for the Cardinals from the Lions' 46. They bring out the punt team. They do, in fact, punt. Down at the 5. Stafford is sacked! Trumaine Brock drops an interception! That reaction shot of Murray and Kirk was great. Stafford throws it away and that's game. TIES ON FOX. Also, the second straight season we've had a tie in Week 1. (Lions 27, Cardinals 27)

I thought defense was supposed to be ahead of offense this early in the season. Instead we get a 59-spot, as well as a 43, a 40, a 35 and a 32.




Seriously. Medvedev just won to force a fifth set.




NBC brings back "Waiting All Day" and leans ALL THE WAY INTO IT by having Joan Jett play with Carrie. Fuck this banner raising. There's still games going on.




And of course it was Michael Bennett. Brady becomes only the fourth player in history to spend 20 seasons with one team. Teams trade first possessions without incident. Hot take: The Steelers could very easily miss the playoffs again. You don't lose those two dudes and come out the other side better off. (And if they do, then everyone owes Mike Tomlin an apology.) Ben goes deep for rookie Johnny Holden but misses. Wide receiver pass! Edelman flips it to James White, who goes for 32. Josh Gordon breaks two tackles and scores. I'll tell you what: if Antonio Brown had been eligible to play tonight, best believe Belichick would have him returning kicks, if nothing else. I'm gonna get real sick of #LaundryNight, aren't I? Edelman's 500th career catch gets the Pats to the Steelers' 11. The Patriots' new center is Ted Karras III. Yes, that Karras (Alex is his great-uncle). Field goal is good. 10-0 Pats. Jerod Mayo's the Patriots' linebackers coach? Didn't he, like, just retire? James Conner gets swarmed on a 3rd and 1 sweep. Jamie Collins returning to this team after he trashed them on the way out proves just how strong the Kool-Aid is.




Al points out that the Patriots don't play a single playoff team from last year during the first half of the season. Try covering Edelman, guys. Touchdown Dorsett. Cris: "Not a chance I'm getting you on Tom Brady's diet. I've seen what he eats. You ain't eating that."




Ben hits Juju for a first down before this drive also stalls. Field goal is good. 20-0 Patriots. Steelers get the ball to start the second half and are actually driving. Ben finds James Washington for 45 yards and they're in the red zone. Fumble! Steelers recover but lose four yards. Not even a fake field goal try? Welp, Tomlin's given up. Is it a sad field goal in the third quarter?




Seriously! It's a three-score game and there's plenty of time. Another touchdown for Dorsett. Two guys just let him go. T.J. Watt gets to Brady but he completes the pass anyway. Then Brady delivers a deep ball to Gordon in traffic, and he hangs on through a double-team and a big hit. I was waiting for the ball to come out and it... didn't. Steelers hold them to three. 30-3 after three. I pull Brady after this drive (which will end in points, as that Edelman completion put them in field goal range). This is the kind of game that encourages cheap shots. (The Pats kicked another field goal, by the by.) Talk turns to Belichick's future. I completely disagree with Collinsworth here: I don't believe Belichick — who's already 67 — will ever coach another quarterback. I do think Brady would stick around and play for McDaniels (because nobody else will hire him after that Colts stunt). Steelers drive ends with an interception in the end zone and I don't know why I'm still bothering.




EDIT: About that last bit... (Patriots 33, Steelers 3)

And 50 years of Monday Night Football! Hey Texans: The Astros put up 21 yesterday. Your move. I don't understand how Will Fuller caught that pass. At least — AT LEAST — the down and distance marker is staying on one side of the screen this year. Texans challenging a spot. Don't do this. Oh God, this is the ref from the NFC title game? Call stands, and the Texans actually blew two time outs on this because they called one to buy time, then lose the challenge. Texans going for it. (It's 4th and inches on the Saints 20.) Watson keeps it and goes left... Touchdown! Refs rule he cleared the pylon.




Saints come out with an unbalanced line. Watson's in the medical tent. Field goal is good. Watson back. That's the third time Hopkins — who's normally ridiculously sure-handed — hasn't made the catch. Carlos Hyde goes for 21. Booger pointing out how many new players the Texans have brought in in the last couple weeks and how continuity and communication aren't necessarily what they should be. Duke Johnson! Two minutes warning and the Texans are in the red zone. Hopkins caught that one. Texans devour a screen. Officials reviewing the spot on this sideline play. They change it to a first down. Lot of new cameras this season — pylon, first down stick. Because the play was changed to a catch and a first down, the officials run 10 seconds off the clock, to the audible disdain of Saints fans. (And it turns out they screwed THIS up, too — there should have been 15 more seconds on the clock than there were.) First and 10 from their own 47. That pass was deflected and shill should have been caught. They cross midfield and Lutz will try from 56. Long enough, but slightly left. 14-3 Texans at halftime. Band out here just walking on behind Suzy Kolber & company like they're not there. Is that the LSU band? Steve Levy, Brian Griese and Louis Riddick are doing the late game. I'm surprised "G-Eazy" was available as a rap name this late in the game.




Brees hits Kamara in stride for 41, followed by Latavius Murray running for 34 and a touchdown. The Saints lose track of Watson and he scrambles for a first down. Lattimore picks off Watson in the end zone, but there's a flag — offsides. It won't count. Watson to Hopkins for another touchdown. Brees heating up. Pitch to Taysom Hill gets seven, then he catches a touchdown pass!





Right before that play, Booger asked where J.J. Watt was. The answer? Being triple-teamed.




Though there's no reason to chase two points this early, I wouldn't have been against it, necessarily. Watson goes deep for Fuller but Marcus Williams picks it off, then Hopkins hits HIM with a German suplex and things get violent. Kamara with another big run. Touchdown Tre'Quan Smith and the Saints start the fourth quarter by taking the lead. Big run by Hyde to salvage a 3rd and long. This Saints front is also missing some key dudes. 3RD AND 28. That's hard to overcome twice. After not being able to hang on to a bullet from Brees, Kamara runs through four or five tackles. Somehow this drive ends with a punt that goes out at the Texans' 3. Try covering Hopkins, guys. Thirty-two Duke Johnson yards later and the Texans are in Saints territory. Or were, until Laremy Tunsil (another new Texan) gets beat on a sack.







Brees drops one in Ginn's basket for 40 to lock this one up. Late field goal makes it 27-21 with 50 seconds left. Hopkins! Texans ball inside the Saints; 40! TOUCHDOWN KENNY STILLS!! Watson barely beat the corner blitz and found Yet Another New Texan.




Extra point is... WIDE RIGHT. But the Saints get flagged for roughing the kicker! WHAT IS GOING ON. Oh, that's obvious. You cannot do that. Re-kick is good and the Texans lead.







Thirty-three seconds left. Three straight completions by Brees get them to the Texans' 40 with two seconds left.




The general consensus here is that the officials would have ruled that Ginn gave himself up, blowing the play dead. That would have made them scramble to call their last time out. As it was, all Colvin (who's been awful with the Texans and was released on Tuesday) did was give the Saints time to call time. Lutz from 58. GOOD!  (Saints 30, Texans 28)




Levy: "We'll have what they had, huh? Give us some of that." Raiders are already in the red zone. Carr finds Tyrell Williams for a touchdown. I mean, technically, the Raiders' offense never actually HAD Antonio Brown, so. And now, Joe Flacco, Bronco, and John Elway's latest attempt to find a quarterback half as good as he was. (Steve Spurrier had the same issue.) What the hell was that play call? Antonio Brown is described as an "energy vampire." Brian Griese says the Raiders called Vontaze Burfict "one of the smartest players they've ever been around" which is TERRIFYING.




Right? This shit isn't hard! Broncos are stinking up the joint. Flacco fumbles, and though the Broncos recover, they're out of field goal range now. These teams are gonna be BAD. Carr to Williams again. Amazing that Hunter Renfrow ended up on the Raiders and not the Patriots. Touchdown Josh Jacobs. Also amazing that this team still has fans after how they've treated the city of Oakland. They are chanting some unspeakable sentiments about Brown, so there's that. First catch for Emanuel Sanders, a former Steelers teammate of Brown. DaeShawn Hamilton catches a ball that Courtland Sutton could not. Flacco misses Sanders badly but he was interfered with, only for draft reach Clelin Ferrell to deflect Flacco's next pass attempt.




McManus from 64... no. 14-0 Raiders at halftime. Broncos driving to start the second half. Philip Lindsay somehow evades a tackle on 3rd down and gets to the Raiders' 6. Flacco gets sacked on the subsequent third down. Gruden's gonna lose this challenge — Flacco's down before the ball comes out. The refs also missed defensive holding and a facemask. Call stands. Field goal is good.
Gareon Conley took his teammate's leg to his head and he's still down. We go through two commercial breaks before he's stretchered out. I've never seen someone in this position in so many restraints. (UPDATE: He is fine. The teammate who hit him, Johnathan Abram, had already wrecked his shoulder before this and is probably done for the season.) Hamilton drops a touchdown pass. Field goal is good. 14-6. That's a good punt. Jacobs running hard after the catch, getting 10 more yards. Williams has become the No. 1 receiver for the Raiders, outjumping Chris Harris to create first and goal. Carr is 21 for 25. Touchdown Jacobs! Flacco goes deep to Sanders, who catches it! Then he runs out of time on 3rd and 2. That was a COVERAGE sack. That was airtight. Field goal is good. Did Dwayne Harris shove his own teammate out of the way on that kickoff return? It went 71 yards. Allegiant Stadium? O... kay. It's a three-score game again after a Raiders field goal.
Flacco tries a keeper that does not work. Touchdown to Sanders. Broncos kick the extra point and it's 24-16, then they kick it deep and get a touchback out of it. There's still 2:15 left, so they still have the two-minute warning to stop the clock as well as two timeouts. Two straight first downs seal it. Gruden greets some fans as he leaves the final Monday night in Oakland. (Raiders 24, Broncos 16)
Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)