Friday, October 31, 2003

Go-Go Training Camp

High School Girls Pummel Man Who Exposed Himself
Fri Oct 31,10:31 AM ET

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - A man described by authorities as a known sexual predator was chased through the streets of South Philadelphia by an angry crowd of Catholic high school girls, who kicked and punched him after he was tackled by neighbors, police said on Friday.

Rudy Susanto, 25, who had exposed himself to teen-age girls on as many as seven occasions outside St. Maria Goretti School, struck again on Thursday just as students were being dismissed, police said.

But this time, a group of girls in school uniforms angrily confronted Susanto with help from some neighbors, police said. When Susanto tried to run, more than 20 girls chased him down the block. Two men from the neighborhood caught him and the girls took their revenge.

"The girls came and started kicking him and punching him, so I wasn't going to stop them," neighbor Robert Lemons told The Philadelphia Inquirer.

Susanto was later treated for injuries at a local hospital. Police said he would be charged with 14 criminal counts including harassment, disorderly conduct, open lewdness and corrupting the morals of a minor.

Illinois-Chicago Diary (Week 7)

Polls: No changes.

Recruiting: We got our first commitment!

Liam Paisley (SG, 6’5”, 160, Zurich, Switzerland; Proviso East HS, Maywood, IL)

He chose us over Loyola-Chicago (Coach Stanley will be disappointed — he was very high on him), and Marquette missed out on him because they were slow to make an offer. About the name: his parents are transplanted Scotsmen and work for an export company that has a lot of dealings with the chocolate makers, hence the Zurich hometown. He talked his parents into letting him come to the U.S. as an exchange student, and he picked up the game here. Interesting kid. He wears No. 22 for his high school team, and likely also will with us.

Eric Braddick signed with Creighton, while Matt Conrad — oh, this one hurts — committed to conference foe Youngstown State. Ouch. Norman Joyce was at the Alabama State game and promptly signed with Western Illinois. Nebraska and DePaul have entered the Winkfield chase now, and with only three weeks left in the recruiting period, we’ve only got one player signed and our chances of landing the big man we need appear nonexistent.

We aggressively went after Winkfield, made Antonio Morrison an offer, placed a call to Aquil Cooper (no relation to Rashun), and opened talks with another JUCO guy:
PF Jared Street (6’8”, 188, Chicago; Sheridan, Wyo., JC)

A check-in with my RV guys shows that Largent’s gotten an offer from George Washington.

Awards
Horizon League Player of the Week: SG #51 — DeLawn Mydra, 6’5” junior, Butler (22 ppg, 6 apg, 4 rpg)
Horizon League Freshman of the Week: SF #24 — Andy Hayes, 6’5” freshman, Wright State (16.5 ppg; third week in a row; fourth time overall; I’m looking forward to seeing him in person and yet at the same time I’m not.)
National Player of the Week: SG Kendall Fife, 6’2” senior, Eastern Washington (28.5 ppg, 5 apg, 8.5 rpg)
National Freshman of the Week: PG Lavar Camara, 6’4” freshman, Oklahoma State (20.5 ppg, 10 apg)

Game 11 Report
Florida State (3-6) at Illinois-Chicago (6-4)
Thursday, December 26, 2002


We wanted to slow things down at the start, and the Seminoles were only too happy to play along. Some questionable shot selection by Jones early on had us puzzled, but with a 6-3 lead after four and a half minutes, we weren’t quite ready to complain. Especially since Florida State couldn’t make anything or, really, do anything right — backup point Morgan Marshall fouled Williams going for a rebound and got posterized on top of it. We grabbed a 13-5 lead about eight and a half minutes in before the ’Noles, who’d only made one shot from the floor to that point, called time.

Out of the timeout, Stephan Brown made a couple of threes for them, but we kept our cool and kept the lead. Williams, in particular, played big for us during this stretch as we actually got second shots. In fact, we owned the glass in the first half, which is rare for us. With four minutes to play in the half, we had a 28-19 lead and a 19-9 rebounding advantage. FSU made a little rally to get within three, but we were getting to the line and were able to push the lead back to eight, and it was nine (36-27) at halftime.

Brown had 11 at the half to lead all scorers. Jones and Miller had eight apiece for us, while Williams had seven points, three rebounds (all offensive) and three blocks. We don’t block shots, either, as our two primary centers are 6’6” and 6’7”. Quite a surprise there.

The second half started with Florida State actually making shots. Brown led them, hitting back-to-back three-pointers followed by a Marques Phillips layup. Our lead was cut to 41-37 before we got a steal and called time to get our act together. Fortunately, Correa came off the bench and led the charge like a good senior should, getting a key steal and hitting a three that helped us stretch the lead back to 47-40. He followed that up with another three-pointer and a beautiful alley-oop pass to Greer. With 9:22 left, we led 57-47, and after a couple minutes of basket trading, Correa returned to the bench with 14 points and a nice ovation for a good night’s work. The 63-56 lead didn’t hurt, either.

FSU’s Brown tried, but he couldn’t bring his team back by himself. Marshall was having a decent outing with starter Phillips in foul trouble, but Williams and Cooper got some easy baskets, and White was crashing the boards like a beast. We were up 11 with four minutes to go, and it looked like our losing streak was soon to end.

And it did, but Miller went down with an injury after being blocked (though the official called it a charge) with 59 seconds left in the game. The final was 78-66, but it was hard to enjoy the needed victory with the possibility of losing another member of our already thin backcourt. Correa led us with 15 points, and Jones added 14. Miller had 10 before he went out, and White scored eight points and pulled down 14 rebounds. FSU’s Brown was the high man with 23 points.

The next day we got the news on Miller, and it’s not great. He’s got a groin injury, possibly a partial tear, and our trainer isn’t sure how long he’ll be out. He’ll definitely miss our game at Pitt on Saturday and the following week of action at least. Time to scramble. Jefferson would obviously move into the starting lineup, but that means even more minutes for Correa in the backcourt.

Game 12 Report
Illinois-Chicago (7-4) at Pittsburgh (3-6)
Saturday, December 28, 2003


Despite the records, we were a little wary going into this one. The thinking was this: a road game against a Big East team playing a tough schedule (Pitt has the 25th toughest schedule in the country, with losses to UCLA and a surprising 10-2 Baylor team) could lead to problems. Kiwane Jefferson knew he’d have to change his approach offensively now that he was starting. Still, I don’t think even he expected his first points to come on a putback. Early on, just about everybody got involved for the Flames as we built a 13-8 lead before both teams went to their benches. Once this started, we made substitutions about every two minutes, since we’re down to two healthy true guards right now. The Panthers rallied to tie the score at 16, but Jefferson came back in soon thereafter and hit a three to break the tie about halfway through the first half.

It stayed close for a few more minutes until the Panthers took their first lead at 24-23 with about 7:30 left in the half. More subbing led to Correa coming into the game, and he hit a jumper with 5:16 left to put us back up, 25-24. The back-and-forth continued until Correa tied the game at 28 with a three-pointer, giving him 10 at that point. Pitt mounted a small run at the end of the half, however, and took a 35-30 lead into the locker room.

Pitt center Darrin Reese had been giving us problems down low in the first half — while only 6’7”, we didn’t have anyone who could stop him down there. We were reluctant to switch White onto him, as he was (as usual) in foul trouble. So Reese kept going down into the post and hurting us, scoring the first four points of the second half as Pitt ran its lead to 42-34. They would expand it to 50-40 at the 12-minute mark. Five more Panther points (highlighted by a rare 3 from Timmy Hester — Pitt doesn’t shoot threes often or well) and Mills had seen enough. Time out!

Did it help? Well, two minutes later we had a four-on-one and the shot got blocked, so I’d have to say no based on that alone. The lead swelled to 65-48 with 5:34 left when White returned to the floor with four fouls. We made a little run before a flagrant foul on Correa took what little wind there was left out of our sails. Final was 81-60.

Pitt point guard Mekeli Scott led all scorers with 19 points. Reese had 18, while Hester and Anthony Anderson had 14 apiece. Correa and Jefferson each had 15 for the Flames. Cooper had nine assists, which was surprising since he’s running out of guys to pass to. With conference play starting next week, we’re 7-5 and hurting.

Literally.

Conference Roundup: It was a big Saturday for the Horizon League. Not in results, however. Loyola-Chicago went to Texas and lost, 98-77. Wisconsin-Milwaukee visited No. 10 Syracuse and suffered a 75-60 defeat. Fifth-ranked Michigan State went to Youngstown State (actually, for our purposes and because this would never actually happen in real life, the game was played at a neutral site — Gund Arena in Cleveland) and won 78-68.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 8

The Drew Bledsoe Memorial Edition

That crash you heard was Corey Dillon's remaining leverage. Is anybody else getting tired of this? First glimmer of hope that team's had since Boomer's halcyon days and he's still complaining. It wouldn't shock me if Lewis did get rid of him after the season, as his mentality is the same as mine would be - you don't want to be here; we'll get you out. Then they went and beat the Seahawks without him anyway. Chad is Key's cousin? I did not know that.

I didn't hear anything about a hostage situation or a kidnapping at Tampa Airport. Did you guys?

Air travel seems to agree with the Giants - that was the first game they've flown to all season. "It's Michael Strahan!" The Vikings' defense reverting to last season's form didn't help either.

Browns-Pats. Moving on!

Memo to Brian Billick: "'n the blue hell are you so angry about? What are you walking around here so angry for? Walking around here mad. With your face all squinched up. (squinches up face) What's all that about? What are you so angry about, you beat the Denver Broncos. You're LEADING the AFC North. You should be HAPPY. Go eat some crab cakes. Go drink a protein shake, go make yourself one of Boog Powell's barbecue SSSSSAMMICHES. Go do somethin' - but don't be angry."

You know, this wouldn't be happening if Bill Cowher was still alive.

What an unexpectedly fast start this was. CHICANERY RULES~! even when it's against you 'cause you gotta love anybody with the sack to call something like that. I don't wanna say Pennington's play-fakes are as good as Boomer's, but they're up there (though the Lewis INT was just a badly underthrown ball). This was good - if you gotta throw, throw to the tight ends. On the game-winning TD I'm sitting there staring a hole through the TV trying to psychically will Donovan to THROW THE DAMN BALL.

Bill Walsh is throwing up in his mouth. Are you SURE Al Del Greco doesn't want to come back?

Dante Hall, big-play wide receiver? Scary. If you saw this game, you know where the title came from; Bledsoe got hit and hit and hit and got his ass kicked, pretty much. The same thing's going on here hta's made the Vikings' D better: a pass rush. And Priest just scored another touchdown.

That's the most noise that stadium's heard in years. This is Brian Griese, right?

Fantasy Report: I beat Rob's ass. He had Bledsoe; I actually got a TD from Blake and picked up Antwan Randle-El during the week. It actually would have been worse had I started the Chiefs' defense instead of the Titans'. Five-way tie at 4-4 for fifth place, and I should be getting Faulk back for my next game against Chris.

TOP 3:
1. Kansas City - Still waiting for WRs to show up
2. Carolina - Would play overtime every week if they could
3. Indianapolis - Horses return to the track this week

BOTTOM 3:
30. San Diego - At least LDT isn't an embarrassment
31. Atlanta - Vick out until December? Good Lord
32. Detroit - Long, long way to go

Fox Will Sue Itself

Wow. Just... wow.

Friday, October 24, 2003

Clearing The Decks

Went to the doctor yesterday afternoon to get this skin irritation looked at that's been bothering me for a while. (I called to make the appointment a month ago, and this was the earliest doc who was available.) Now I've gotta get blood work done this morning - he asked me a couple times if I was diabetic, and Mom told me later that diabetes is usually detected via an infection of some kind, usually yeast in women. She's been an RN for 25 years. She knows this.

The big deal here is that I have to fast beforehand, but I didn't know for how long and (because I'm an IDIOT, see) didn't think to ask. By the time I get up and get it done this morning, I won't have eaten anything for... about 18 hours by then. I had some hot dogs before the appointment, and that's it. I found out from Mom later that I could have eaten something else, but I didn't want to risk it. Stupid me.

So what was dumber: not eating, or going grocery shopping right after leaving the doctor's office?

If Joe doesn't come back on AIM soon I'm going to bed.

Never mind... Rob's gonna bug me for a while.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 7

In Which A Missed Opportunity Is Not Lamented, Special Teams Are Validated, And Lives Are Barely Spared

First off, a note to Butch: Yes, I know I forgot to make picks in Action! this week. It's just as well - I'd have gotten my ass kicked. For one, I wouldn't have picked Jon Kitna over the Ravens' defense if you put a gun to my head.

True story: 1:45 or so left in Eagles-Giants, and I've written it off. I hop in the car and go to the bank, putting the game on the radio for official purposes. Right before the punt, Merrill Reese says something to the effect of: "I have seen too many strange things happen in this stadium." Then Westbrook got the ball. When Merrill yelled "BRIAN WESTBROOK!" at the Giants' 30, I damn near drove off the road. The worst part about it for Giants fans was the Eagles were going for the block. Mind you, not a damn thing was solved, but 3-3 at this point is infintely better than 2-4. The Birds would be better served pulling back and becoming the rich man's Panthers at this point.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Parcells wasn't supposed to fix things this quickly. This is bad. This is very bad. Mariucci had the Line Of The Year in reference to Harrington's game QB rating of 7.12(?): "That's a hell of an earthquake."

Moss was all "I saw SOMEBODY" afterwards. Great stuff. Who are these new Vikings DBs and why are they good? The pinky finger's not meant to bend in that manner. Here's how far off the radar Danny Kanell was: He was playing independent baseball in Newark two years ago. I shit you not.

Well, that Cubs fan can cross south Florida off of his list of places to hide out. What happened with that coin toss? Doesn't the ref tell them which side is heads and which is tails?

So. What the hell do the Falcons do now?

Do McNair's stats even matter anymore?

You know how I've said in the past that linemen running with the football never gets old? Add "and old white quarterbacks" to that. Vinny scampering on the last Jets drive and Chandler's two-point scramble (I'm surprised his foot didn't fall off) - just great comedy.

OK, HOW long have I been saying that you can run on Tampa?

Fantasy Report: Poor Weeba. He started Tim Couch. I don't think anything more needs to be said. I picked up Jeff Blake late last week to compensate for Plummer's injury, and with Gannon's status up in the air after tonight... yeah. At least he'll throw a lot since they'll be behind early. I'm 3-4 now. Hey, Rob? YOU'RE NEXT.

At least the Raiders were smart enough to not kick to Hall.

TOP 3:
1. Kansas City - Scarily, Vermeil's right - they can play better
2. Minnesota - Only the second biggest surprise of the season
3. (tie) Indianapolis - A week off to refuel the machine
(tie) Dallas - *cries*

BOTTOM 3:
30. Arizona - Time to bring back those "Weakest Link" jokes
31. Atlanta - Also, defense is in shambles
32. Chicago - It's over. It's all over.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Men After My Own Heart. Well, Almost

- Took a chance and bought the No Mercy webcast. Not a good night for it, as my connection was particularly bad. Still, got to see plenty of Match Of The Night Cena/Angle.

- Many thanks to Ska for this story.

- I'm lucky to not be in the hospital right now. I'll tell you why in the Week 7 roundup. (Ooooh. SUSPENSE~!)

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Illinois-Chicago Diary (Week 6)

Polls: Florida's still No. 1. Georgia actually dropped a spot in the .400 Sports poll, from No. 7 to No. 8. We must have covered the spread or something. Duke's loss to the Penguins sent them tumbling from No. 12 to No. 22.

Recruiting: Aaron Swift (the JUCO) chose Ball State over us. Minnesota's jumped into the race for Winkfield's services, while Paisley has offers from both us and Loyola-Chicago. Conrad appears to be bound for Eastern Michigan.

Remember this guy?:
SF Norman Joyce (6'4", 189, Highland Park, IL)
He's coming to campus this week, as is:
SG Alex Ahern (6'2", 171, Centerville, IN via Conkary, Guinea)

None of our underclassmen are skipping town to go pro. Not that we're at all surprised. Seven juniors declared, including Max Cambridge, the Texas A&M point guard who was Player of the Week a couple weeks back.

Awards: Coursey was NOT Horizon League Player of the Week. That honor went to:
PG #5 Adonis Harris, 6'1" senior, Detroit (24 ppg, 6 apg, 10-11 3P)
Horizon League Freshman of the Week: SF #24 Andy Hayes, 6'5" freshman, Wright State (18.5 ppg, 5 rpg; second week in a row; third time this season)
National Player of the Week: SG Bill Tice, 6'3" senior, Toledo (32 ppg, 7 apg, 6.5 rpg, 13-14 3P)
National Freshman of the Week: PG LaRon Lancaster, 6' freshman, Rice (25.5 ppg, 7 apg)

Game 9 Report
Illinois-Chicago (6-2) at Western Michigan (2-6)
Thursday, December 19, 2002


We had plenty of time to get over the Georgia shellacking. Not that it was unexpected or anything, but you can't predict how kids will react to a loss like that. Anyway, we got off to a nice, nondescript start in this one. 10-9 after six minutes; things were pretty balanced all around. The guys knew their jobs; White was grabbing boards, Cooper was running the floor, Miller was shooting. It was good to see. We're using a one-guard front set, and Mills thought we could outrun the Broncos, so he picked up the pace a little.

Nobody got into foul trouble, either! Things started getting physical when the reserves came in, and the Broncos took a 20-19 lead at the 11-minute mark. Correa's in, and he was really struggling with his ball handling (not that he's great, but more so than usual and poorly timed) and we were forced to bring Cooper back in a little sooner than we would've liked. From here, the game turned into a three-point shooting contest, and the Broncos were able to actually make theirs (Jefferson was off again for us) and took a 28-21 lead with six minutes left in the half. We got our act together and closed to within one at one point, but a dumb foul on a three-pointer helped the Broncos make it a six-point game (39-33) at halftime.

Team stats were pretty even at this point except for turnovers. Our guys have got to take better care of the ball. One thing we had to do on the fly was adjust to their sudden craving for the three-point shot, as they don't shoot them very well as a team.

We didn't start the second half very well, offensively or defensively. We weren't playing our game on offense - seemingly everybody was taking completely wrong shots for them - and we weren't getting defensive boards even though the rebounding stats were about even. But a small flurry got us back to within four after being down nine early in the half. We were soon down nine again. Another problem we were having is that the Broncos were using 6-8 sophomore Mikko Brown in the backcourt and running everything through him, using him to set screens, picks, and so on, and we've got no one who can play in the backcourt big enough to contain him. With eight minutes passed in the second half, it's 53-47 WMU.

Frustration set in. Two uncharacteristically hard fouls and then a shot clock violation on our end. We got down 13 with seven and a half minutes left and went back to our opening strategy. They started extending their rebounding advantage, but we managed to cut the lead to seven for a while before Geoff Reed hit a three-pointer with just under five minutes to go. Jones got us five points, but he was tiring, and we were wary of taking him out because nobody else had stepped up to try to help him offensively. Clyde, I'm looking at you. With 2:07 left and a foul to give, we went into panic mode, and the game, from there, turned into a free-throw shooting contest. Which we lost. The game, that is. 74-66.

Thanks mostly to a strong second half, Jones led all scorers with 20 points. Reed's 17 led five Broncos in double figures, including reserve Tony Simpson, who added 14 in their first home victory of the season. But we turned the ball over 21 times. That's not acceptable. We went straight home afterwards... we had another game to play, and guests to entertain.

Game 10 Report:
Alabama State (4-4) at Illinois-Chicago (6-3)
Friday, December 20, 2002


A two-game losing streak? Not a good feeling. Although, both games were on the road, but we had won our first three on the road. So who knows?

During the coaches' meeting, we immediately saw that Alabama State's bigger guards could pose a problem, and that their offense came from the frontcourt. So how to best cut them off? 2-1-2, maybe?

Not at first, no. Cooper got off to a horrible start, getting called for traveling, losing the ball out of bounds, getting called for a double dribble, and missing badly on a fadeaway. We could barely rent a basket in the first four minutes and were very quickly down 13-2. WHAT. Alabama State's Colin Pangrazio got knocked silly by Miller, and he had to leave the game. During the TV timeout, Mills ditched the zone and manned up, read the boys the riot act, and they responded. Things began flowing, and we crawled back to make it 20-16 with nine minutes to go in the first half.

It wouldn't last, though. Alabama St. went on a 9-0 run. Pangrazio's replacement, Kevin Adams, had 10 off the bench already. Another time out, and Jones, Miller and Williams came back in to try to stop the bleeding. We still couldn't make anything. Cooper got called on two B.S. fouls back-to-back, giving him three (Miller had already picked up his second) and coach Mills damn near got T'd up. It was 35-20 Alabama State with 4:15 left in the half, and it didn't look like things were going to get better anytime soon. They didn't - 43-26 at halftime.

We were shooting 31 percent to their 52. Cooper, Miller, and White all had three fouls apiece, and Correa had two.

The second half didn't start as badly as the first did, though we didn't make up a lot of ground before Cooper and White both picked up their fourth fouls. Their lead kept hovering around the 11-12 point mark for most of the first part of the half. Cooper and White returned with six minutes left and the Flames down 68-54. Three minutes later, it was 73-54 and we're set to concede if two of our guys foul out here. And while that didn't happen, neither did much of anything else. 81-57 final, and we've lost three in a row.

Alabama St. PG Mihari Jefferson had 17 points and nine assists. PF Jon Foreman had 16 points and 14 rebounds, while Adams added 15 filling in for the injured Pangrazio (skull fracture, season over). I think that, while unintentional on Clyde's part, pissed them off. Kiwane Jefferson (no relation) led us with 10. We shot 33 percent. You're not beating anyone shooting 33 percent. The question now is, who are the real Flames? The group that started 6-0, or this crew? We've got the Christmas holiday to figure that out.

Conference Roundup: Thirteenth-ranked UConn held Wisconsin-Milwaukee to 18 first-half points in a 68-42 win. On Saturday, Michigan crushed Wright State, 99-46.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

The Twenty-Five Thousand Dollar Man

http://www.wewantyoursoul.com/index.php

"Your soul is worth £14903. For your peace of mind, 61% of people have a purer soul than you."

(Current US$ equivalent is $24,887.85.)

That's distressing.

*thumbs up*

Thinking logically while looking for an American Eagle store, I typed in americaneagle.com and got... well, what I got.

But check out just under their client list in the right side column.

I wonder who approached who with that idea.

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6

In Which The Novelty Wears Off, Fingers Are Unstuck, Change Is Contemplated, And Declarations Are... NOT Made

CHICANERY RU- wait, no. What's that saying about lightning striking twice in the same place? Then both teams decided to run the ball in the second half. What's going to happen now is teams are gonna blitz Donovan like madmen because nobody can a) get the ball down the field or b) get down the field to CATCH the ball. Thrash taking over return duties was the most he's contributed all season. Nice breakdown on that last kickoff, guys! Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. It's time for a change. It's time to... find out if Freddie Mitchell can actually help this team.

The Bills have gone schizoid. Discuss.

I still can't name five Carolina Panthers and was surprised they hung on after Davis went out. Anyone else think Peyton was laughing (at least on the inside) when he came out before the game-tying drive? "Seven points? This ain't NOTHIN'." And who knew the Panthers could score points? Kudos.

How exactly do you give up 35 to the Bucs?

If the Bears are gonna change quarterbacks, they might as well skip Chandler and go straight to Grossman.

How many times does the kicker save a touchdown? Chiefs-Packers was weird - there were about three occasions where I was convinced it was over, but if KC's found its passing game... oh WOW. Those 12-0 whispers I'm hearing might not be that far-fetched. Loved loved LOVED the play call after Green's fumble in OT. "END this shit!"

Jerry Rice has no touchdown catches. Think about that for a minute. Then think about the fact that the Raiders have played very badly against two of the league's "lesser lights", if I may be diplomatic. Then add in the aforementioned 19 penalties. Then consider that the Chiefs are undefeated and the Broncos have only lost to the Chiefs. All that said, I won't write them off... but they're in "Act of God" territory now.

Don't look now, but the Ravens are in first place.

Steve Beuerelein's still alive?

I kept hearing about Hamlin on these other boards and now believe. He's a little too aggressive, but he'll learn to reel himself in with experience. Alexander didn't go off on a Sunday night? Fatherhood's made him soft. :) The Niners are still having kicking issues, and T.O. didn't make any friends with all those passes he dropped. And ANOTHER game ends on a fumble. How odd.

The case of Peerless Price is why I'm not convinced it's all McNabb's fault - Price has 28 catches from a bad quarterback. No other Falcons WR has more than SEVEN. (Aside: MOVE DUNN OUT THERE.) Bet you nobody would think I'd be asking "How did this team beat the Cowboys?" at the end of Week 6.

Fantasy Report: I started Plummer. The Broncos didn't, but I doubt it would've mattered against Nate, who should really have a better record than he does. Next week I've got Weeba/Aaron/The Guy Who Got Burned When Vick Broke His Leg A Week After The Draft. EDIT: Now Plummer's out for a month with a broken foot. So much for MY season.

TOP 3:
1. Kansas City - TESTIFAH!
2. Carolina - A surprising effort
3. Indianapolis - A tough way to fall

BOTTOM 3:
30. Arizona - It's not good when the Ravens are lighting you up
31. Chicago - "And it don't matter / and I don't care..."
32. San Diego - Did they play this week?

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Illinois-Chicago Diary (Week 5)

Polls: Florida's still No. 1. UConn fell out from No. 6 after losing at home to Alabama, which used that win to jump from No. 23 to No. 5. Boston College rocketed up from No. 25 to No. 6. Georgia, who we play this Friday, is up to No. 9. No votes for us. :(
The first CRI (RPI) rankings came out this week also. We're at .5199. Our schedule is the 16th weakest in the nation among 320 schools. Weakest? Niagara. Strongest? Vanderbilt. (Seven of the top 10 CRI ratings belong to SEC schools, and six of the top 10 toughest schedules.)

Recruiting: Two visits from shooting guards this week:
Eric Braddick (6'3", 176, Zeeland, MI)
Liam Paisley (6'5", 160, Zurich, Switzerland; Proviso East HS)
The assistants want us to go after Morrison, but Mills has expressed concerns over how serious he is about wanting to play for us. We called Conrad again, but he isn't any more interested in us than he's been over the past few weeks, and Gearhart's thinking is that we shouldn't spend too much more time with him if he's not at least thinking about joining us. That's time and resources that could be put to better use recruiting guys who want to come here.

The consensus number one player in the land, point guard Brett Keams from Darrow H.S. in New Lebanon, N.Y., signed with the University of Texas. In fact, six of the top 10 players committed this week.

Awards:
Horizon League Player of the Week: SF #23 Mark Keep, 6'5" junior, Detroit (27.5 ppg, 6 rpg)
Horizon League Freshman of the Week: SF #24 Andy Hayes, 6'5" freshman, Wright State (14 ppg, 4 rpg, his second time winning)
National Player of the Week: SG Tim Melson, 6'3" senior, Rhode Island (34 ppg, 6 apg, 4 rpg)
National Freshman of the Week: SF Nicholas Thompson, 6'6" freshman, Michigan State (25.5 ppg, 5 rpg, 5 blocks)

Game 7 Report:
Austin Peay (2-2) at Illinois-Chicago
Monday, December 9, 2002


For the first time this season, we have to bounce back from a loss. Should be interesting.

Things started out well again, as we scored the game's first seven points in two minutes. They brought a couple of kids off the bench and got a quick spark, and White picked up two fouls in the first six minutes of the half. Bah. A 7-0 run gave Austin Peay its first lead of the game at 14-12 with 11:03 left in the half. We seemed flat despite the fast start, and we didn't make any shots for a while.

Jones and Williams led our comeback, with Jones making two shots off of a three-foul shot situation to close the gap to 28-27 with 4:05 left. He then gave us the lead back on a putback. From there it was back-and-forth - due to foul trouble, we had a very small lineup on the floor (Cooper, Jefferson, Miller, Jones, Williams) - and they were tired because we're shorthanded as it is and our only two big men were stuck on the bench. Austin Peay got two late buckets and took a 37-33 lead into the locker room.

They shot 49% to our 39% in the first half. Jones had 11, while David Fast led them with nine.

All right, the third foul on White was legitimate - he pushed Fast down and that's against the rules. But that fourth one was a piece of crap. He knew it, Fast knew it, the American people knew it. Just over two minutes into the second half, and our best inside player was back on the bench with four fouls. WTF. At this point, Jones pointed to his back and said, "Hop on, boys. Let's go." The senior hit two threes on his way to eight straight points (he had 21 after this run) and got us the lead back, 43-40.

Damon Schafer would tie the score at 43 before Jefferson's alertness got him two points off a Cooper miss at the foul line. We switched to a one-guard front offense at halftime, and it seemed to help us out at the defensive end, as we were getting back faster and getting in their faces. Jones got a quick rest before returning when it was time to turn over the frontcourt again. Correa's not that great leading the break, but he's really a converted forward playing backup point, so we couldn't complain too much. Also, we had a five-point lead with nine minutes left.

6:01 left. We'd traded baskets for the last two minutes until Austin Peay got some fast break opportunities. It's 64-62 Flames. All our starters were now back on the floor, including White, who'd barely played with four fouls, two of which were questionable at best. Williams then fouled Fast on a three (stupid, stupid, STUPID) and he hit two. Tie game. But he redeemed himself somewhat by grabbing a horribly missed three from Miller and putting it back.

Fast made his next three. White finally got on the board 36 minutes into the game, but Austin Peay got four more and stretched the lead to 71-68 with 3:35 left. Cooper showed great smarts, taking a charge with about two minutes left that led to a Miller jumper to cut the lead to 74-73 with 1:52 to go. AP had two fouls to give and were in the bonus already, but they'd only made 14 of 24 from the line so far. Fast was on the bench.

We fouled.

Freshman Fraser Mitchell hit both shots to give them a 76-73 lead. Cooper found Miller in the lane, but he was fouled and made one of two from the stripe. 76-74. 1:22 left. Fast threw the ball away, and we got another free shot. Miller cut out of the lane, took the pass from Cooper, stopped, turned immediately, and NAILED a three-pointer! 77-76 Flames with 48 seconds to play!

Everybody on Austin Peay was looking to Fast for another big shot, and we had him doubled with Miller and Jones. He put up a wild three that wasn't even close, but Donovan Johnson came down with the rebound. 30 seconds to go. But instead of driving to the basket, they started passing it around the perimeter. 20 seconds. Fast thought about another shot, but passed off to Mitchell instead. He fired a risky pass to Johnson in the lane, but he missed a five-footer, and Williams grabbed the rebound! Time out! FOUR seconds left.

Why call time? Well, remember when Fast missed that three-pointer with 31 seconds, and they got the rebound, but didn't go for another shot right away? We probably would have had to foul there had they shot, and not only would that have been our 10th (putting them in the double bonus) but had it been on White, he would have fouled out. We were going to get one more possession anyway, but now there's only four seconds left as opposed to 27 or so if they'd taken another shot right away. We didn't foul because we knew they'd foul as soon as we got the ball, ensuring them another possession. That we got it off of a missed shot was the small amount of luck that any strategy like this needs to work :) It's their own fault. They should have taken another shot right away, because by us waiting them out and then calling time out instead of taking the immediate foul, we can now inbound the ball and maybe make a couple of quick passes and run another second off the clock before they can foul us. And we're ahead, so they have to foul right away if they want a remote chance of winning. We'd only be shooting one-and-one, so making that first free throw would be vital if it came to that.

So we've got this locked up, right?

Right?

Well, they fouled Jones.

He missed the first free throw.

But Miller grabbed the rebound and threw up a shot.

And HE was fouled.

And the shot went in.

The clock showed four zeroes, so the game's over.

Clyde stepped up and made his foul shot.

UIC 80, Austin Peay 76.

Who needs Monday Night Football? You want excitement on Monday nights, you come to the Pavilion. An important win, giving us a much-needed confidence boost as we get ready to play the best team we will face all year.

Danny Jones was the game's high scorer with 25. Miller added 15, including the game-winner and the game's last seven points. He also had six assists and six rebounds. David Fast led Austin Peay with 20. Johnson added 15, and David Mance had 13.

Game 8 Report
Illinois-Chicago at No. 9 Georgia (7-0)
Friday, December 13, 2002


Ominous much?

Coach Kenyan Willis's Georgia Bulldogs averaged 89.7 points in their first seven games, tenth in the country. They only scored less than 80 points once (75-62 win over San Jose State) and have broken 90 three times, including a 102-47 thrashing of Rice. Seventy-five is also the most points they gave up (an 86-75 win at UNC-Asheville to open the season) as they have consistently held opponents in the 60s.

Senior PG Donny Keady averages 9.3 points, 9.7 assists and 3.3 steals per game. SF Josh Clay was SEC Player of the Week two weeks ago and is averaging a double-double (16.3 ppg, 10.6 rpg). They did play Northeastern last night, though - maybe they'll be tired?

Unbelievably, this isn't even the biggest game for Horizon League teams tonight - Loyola-Chicago's visiting top-ranked Florida. Both teams were at the airport together before flying out, and there was a lot of talk about the big night - Loyola and UIC are practically neighbors in Chicago, and there are 11 players from Indiana between the two schools, so many of the players have known each other for years.

Coach Mills chatted with Ramblers head man Justin Stanley at the airport.

Stanley: You know that if one of us wins, the neighborhood's gonna go nuts.
Mills: It'll be like those Bulls celebrations. What if we both win?
Stanley: Wow. It could be like the fire.

Good Lord. Just over a minute into the game and Cooper got two fouls. We did score first, on a putback by Williams, but this is the absolute last thing we wanted to happen. Cooper went to the bench, but White then went off, using his height (at 6'10", he was the tallest starter on the floor) to reel off seven straight points. After four minutes, we're up 9-5. We quickly found out that the Bulldogs are very good at drawing contact, and White soon joined Cooper on the bench with two. We switched to a 2-1-2 and found it more to our liking, and Miller started getting shots and helped us take a 16-12 lead with 11:16 to play in the half. "It's still early," Mills tells his team. Willis likely told his Bulldogs the same thing.

Our foul problems and fatigue forced us, at one point, to play Jefferson, Jones, and Williams all out of position at the first three spots. Surprisingly, not much of note happens for a while except a lot of turnovers and missed free throws. With five minutes left in the half, the Flames hold a 21-20 lead. We were 4-for-9 at the line at this point. Bad. Very bad. Plus, Miller got his third foul already.

Out of a time out, Josh Clay immediately gave the Bulldogs their first lead with a three-pointer. While they did look tired (having played last night), we weren't playing that well up to that point, either. Rasheed Forney's 10th point gave them a 28-21 lead with three minutes left, and we were just trying to keep it close going into halftime at this point. It was a task we'd appeared to fail as Georgia ran its lead to 11 before Jefferson got fouled on a three and hit all three shots. 36-28 Bulldogs at halftime. All things considered, not horrible. Now if our starters can actually get some floor time in the second half...

Forney had 12 at the half to lead all scorers. Jefferson, White and Miller had seven apiece for us.

We came out of the locker room sizzling, scoring the first six points of the half before a Clay 3 put a stop to that. After four minutes, it was 40-36 Georgia, Cooper was having a horrible game, and both Miller and White were on the bench again with four fouls each. The only thing that was saving us was that Georgia's Donny Keady appeared to be off as well - four assists, four turnovers, four points. The possession arrow got quite a workout in the next few minutes, and Correa hit a jumper with 12:39 to play to get us within two. But Forney came back with a trey and a putback to give the Bulldogs a five-point advantage. Alonzo Friend hit another three (time to start defending the perimeter!) and Clay swished a jumper to make it 54-44 halfway through. On their next trip down, they got three offensive rebounds, all by Clay, before he was fouled. They got another one on a missed free throw, but Jean Wise couldn't convert. Still, nine minutes left, and we were down 57-44. It was about that time.

Miller and White rose from the bench and made their way to the scorer's table; Mills thinking that he might as well gamble now and put them back in while there's still a chance. There's another three from Clay. With 7:42 left and down 60-44, Miller and White returned to the floor with four fouls each. Cooper scored his first points of the game on the ensuing possession. We traded baskets for a while until Miller fouled out with 5:20 left defending Whitney Nurse on a three-pointer, which he made anyway. He missed the free throw, but Keady was fouled going after the rebound, and he hit one of two. 68-48 Georgia. Two straight threes gave us a glimmer of false hope, and that's all it turned out to be. A trey by Forney with 58 seconds left put an exclamation mark on the whole deal. 87-60 final.

Well, at least we held them under their average. It can safely be said, I think, that fouls to our best players hurt us. When three of your starters don't even play 20 minutes, things aren't gonna go well. Fun fact: Georgia was whistled for exactly NO fouls in the second half. Us? Twelve. Still, we played with them for 27-28 minutes and actually led for half of that. That counts for something.

Forney led all scorers with 24, a season high for him. Clay added 17 and 11 rebounds, while Nurse and Keady (nine assists) had 13 apiece. Jefferson led us with 13, and Miller had 11.

Conference Roundup: Our Loyola neighbors started half an hour later than us and had even worse of a time than we did, falling to the Gators 71-44. Coach Stanley said in his postgame interview that there was some buzzing about our game in the stands, probably from the first half. The Ramblers never led.

BUT, the next day, Youngstown State decided it wasn't going out like that, and the Penguins went into Cameron Indoor and BEAT No. 12 Duke, 90-81. Bobby Coursey scored 28 points (went 6-for-6 from behind the arc) and had 10 assists. If he's not Conference Player of the Week there ought to be an investigation.

Friday, October 10, 2003

Let's Get It On

- What the HELL.

- I have no response for Rob's baseless accusations.

- I don't know why Forbes is running this story, but this should be enough impetus to everyone out there to GET WHILE THE GETTIN'S GOOD.

Especially since we may yet get a Red Sox/Cubs World Series, which, as we all know, is the seventh sign of the Apocalypse.

Clock's running.

Wednesday, October 8, 2003

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 5

In Which The First Wave Of Concessions Hits, The Locks Are Changed, And Words Are Lost

The Broncos outgained the Chiefs 469-261 from scrimmage Sunday. Just kick it out of bounds. It's no longer worth it.

I'm not sure if this counts as a "good" win for the Vikings, but it's probably the best one they've had so far, what with having to actually come back and all. Falcons "fans" (Atlanta=WORST pro sports town in America) were ripping off Saints fans with the paper bags (which is sad in itself; ripping off Saints fans?) - never mind that their best player's been hurt all year.

That gust of wind you all felt around 4:20 Sunday was Raider fans everywhere throwing in their towels. Dierdorf then predicted a Cubs victory later that night. More on this farce in the Fantasy Report.

The good news for the Giants is Ricky didn't beat them. The bad news is they beat themselves. Shockey was annoyed afterwards at some of the fans leaving early. Could be worse, kid - you could play for the Cardinals, who HAVE no fans.

Last year Emmitt said he was "a diamond amongst trash." Nothing's changed, Emmitt... nothing's changed. Have I mentioned yet that I do NOT like the Cowboys being competitive again?

Not the best of homecomings for Holmgren and Mooch, either.

"One thing Jim Johnson is known for is sending the kitchen sink at young QBs. Today in South Philadelphia, not one sink is to be found." The Redskins' offensive line committed seven false starts - rookie left guard Derrick Dockery (3), left tackle Chris Samuels (2) and right tackle Jon Jansen and tight end Robert Royal (1 each). Is Westbrook starting to emerge as "the guy"? Everybody in the building thought the Skins were going to spike it. Even the announcers! Before this, the only home team to win at the new place had Mia Hamm on it. This Ramsey, he ain't bad. Shame what's going to happen to him next week.

The Tommy Maddox dream is officially over. Meanwhile, Couch may have just saved his career.

The baseball game ended and we switched over and saw the Williams score. We figured it was over after Ronde's pick. Twenty-one points, 4:15 left. It's over, right? Right? RIGHT? Was I the only one thinking "There's too much time left" after the Colts tied it? Then Vanderjagt missed the FG and the whole "idiot kicker" thing came flooding back. This should never have happened. Especially not to that team. JEBUS. In order: Tupa flop was BS, rule on the call on Rice is BS (how the hell can you NOT land on somebody when you're all jumping STRAIGHT UP) and the Bucs DID deserve to lose. Ramsey's probably curled up in a corner crying softly to himself after seeing that, knowing he may only have five days left to live.

Fantasy Report: Fuck you, Rich Gannon. Five field goals? FIVE FIELD GOALS? Against the fucking BEARS? That's it. You're done. You're FUCKING done. This is the second time you've disappeared in a game I would have won had you been able to DO anything. One touchdown pass? One? Is that too much to FUCKING ask? No. No, FUCK you. Sit down and shut up. This is bullshit and I'm tired of it.

FUCK.

YOU.

RICH.

GANNON.

*punts bottle of Geritol across the parking lot*

At least Max finally won.

TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis - "Repent! THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!"
2. Kansas City - And without a passing game, really
3. Carolina - Davis becoming a deal-sealer

BOTTOM 3:
30. Arizona - Meh
31. New Orleans - And there's TALENT here. That's the worst part
32. San Diego - Uhhhh...

Monday, October 6, 2003

Spaulding's Ten Rules Of Sports

10. The first pitch of the game should never be swung at.

9. Game's clock time * 2.5 = Game's real time.

8. Calling a time out to ice the kicker? NEVER WORKS.

7. Every baseball team has one reliever who is almost guaranteed to blow the game.

6. The squib kick is pointless.

5. Seeding doesn't matter in the Stanley Cup playoffs and hasn't for about the last five years.

4. If the other team needs a three-pointer to win, and they shoot one in your face, fall straight backwards.

3. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL.

2. Don't count on Arizona or Kansas past the first round.

1. FREE THROWS, PEOPLE.

Wednesday, October 1, 2003

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 4

In Which The Grapefruit Harvest Is Celebrated, The Body Count Rises, And "Bitchmade" Becomes A Verb

Give Dom Capers the "Vince McMahon Memorial Grapefruits Of The Year" Award. Now. Right now. Just do it. I will NOT argue about this.

"Welcome back to the NFL, Donovan." - from our paper's rEact Instant feedback. Now Troy's down? DAMN IT! Who's left? Can we get Herman Edwards back in uniform? He's pissed off enough to crack some skulls, I'm sure. Reid still hasn't lost after a bye week - didn't know that.

I'd just like to point out that the Redskins STILL haven't beaten a full-strength opponent. Anybody see the end of this one? I heard it was a string of comedic errors that would've made the Three Stooges proud.

So THAT'S where Gus Frerotte ended up. I honestly didn't know. This was better, but I'd like to see the Vikings play someone, y'know, good.

A lot of 49ers fans aren't going to want to hear this, but the biggest difference between last year's team and this year's team is that last year's team had a coach. Wasn't Erickson's vertical passing offense supposed to benefit T.O.? And I'll call it: The Lions will beat them this week.

BENGALS WIN! And it's still September!

Steve McNair. ONE incompletion. I believe that's 10 of the last 12 for the Titans over the Steelers. What's going on out there? Drew Bennett? Justin McCareins? Are you shitting me?

The best thing to do against the Chiefs is just kick the ball into the damn end zone. Mazlowski or somebody on the coverage team even said that if teams squib kick it (which I abhor, BTW) they'll just flip it back to Hall.

I don't - DO NOT - like the Cowboys being competitive again. The D already wasn't bad, and if Parcells can get Carter and Hambrick to not suck on a regular basis... uh-oh. This isn't good news for anyone.

Well, this was ENTIRELY too close. The Broncos missed Portis, but Shannon Sharpe has apparently rediscovered the end zone after about a two-year journey. If the Lions had anything resembling a defense (and that snap hadn't gone bad) they might have won this game. Coaching matters, kids, and don't you ever forget it.

Doug Johnson went to Florida. Stop looking so surprised.

Holy hell, the Chargers blew this one. When you get a chance to put the Raiders down for the count, you HAVE to take it. It only takes one play.

Re: Romanowski: Don't you have to have a brain to suffer concussions?

Ricky Williams helped burn the Saints AGAIN. No, not THAT Ricky Williams. It was 21-0 before I even realized Edge wasn't playing. Like Rob said, the Saints were already missing half their defense (including anybody who was any good) and then lost TWO MORE guys. I think the OTHER Edge could've gotten a TD or two on that crew. Yes, RIGHT NOW. Apparently they're going to spare us their annual late-season collapse by doing it in September this time around. Boy, am I glad we didn't hire Jim Haslett.

Favre, upon entry to Soldier Field Monday night: "You know, I may not have the zip on my fastball that I used to, and I may be a little slower and a little more beat up, and I may not have the best team around me, but you're the Chicago Bears. I have beaten you 18 out of 22 times. I have only lost twice in our last 19 meetings. So even though you've grafted half of a flying saucer to the outside of the stadium, I STILL RUN THIS SHIT." Quick quiz: Name five Bears. Quick quiz #2: Name five Bears that DON'T SUCK. Good GOD. They'd lose to Northern Illinois.

Fantasy report: No Portis, nothing from Bruce (against the CARDINALS? WTF) but I still beat Rosser like he owed me money. (Sorry.) 2-2 now. This week it's me vs. Wade. Gannon returns to the lineup, and Javon Walker steps into Bruce's bye spot.

TOP 3:
1. Kansas City - Girding for Broncos' visit
2. Indianapolis - Is that a DEFENSE I see?
3. Tennessee - McNair nearing Christ figure status

BOTTOM 3:
30. Cleveland - Well, so much for THAT
31. Jacksonville - KO'd by a set of brass ones. Is there a plan here?
32. Chicago - New-look stadium looks like it can lift off... and probably should