WTF we had Cornish hens last year too.
The interception where Roy fell down... that's basically the story of the Lions, isn't it? If they were gonna do that, why not just have Garcia start the game? There won't be much funnier this season than Buck and Aikman trying to pass off the blame for the Galloping Gobbler onto the producers. Except maybe Vick's reaction to winning it. Me, Week 6: "Seriously, NFL coaches don't get fired midseason anymore." The lesson, as always...
This one should be good. Nice pick by Champ. The Cowboys have done a good job keeping the Broncos' ground game relatively in check. And you're not going to believe this, but Plummer actually threw an interception. That's a bad miss by Cundiff. RON DAYNE LIVES!!! Champ: "I guess we're livin' right."
View Finder: CHI @ TB, SD @ WSH (end), GB @ PHI, NYG @ SEA (end)
First time seeing Da Bears this year -- they get great pressure with their front four and don't blitz nearly as much as the '85 defense did. Like right there with the fumble. This should be easy points and we're not going to see a lot of those. Bryant... misses? Ouch. Okay, so the Bears offense is suspect at best (even though I still maintain that, with time, Orton will turn out better than Grossman would have), but that defense is the real deal.
Who are you, and what have you done with Tom Brady? And should I ask the same question of the Chiefs' DBs?
Have I crossed off the Rams yet? No? They're getting waxed by the Texans, for God's sake. "Ryan Fitzpatrick" really sounds more like a pitcher's name than a quarterback's. And slowly but surely the Texans are regaining consciousness. Okay, what happened in the last minute? Wow. The Texans got beat by a Harvard man. They'd probably get beat by Harvard.
Karma's a bitch, ain't it, Dan Snyder? *crosses off Redskins*
"Looks like about a 20-footer for Johnson... he's made tougher putts than this..."
Now Buck and Aikman have to be thinking to themselves, "What the hell are we doing here?" PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Nice move by Westbrook. It may be boring, but it's all they've got at this point, and let's remember: Mike McMahon is your quarterback. Oh, and there's the defense giving up big plays again. Ack. Huh. The left side of Philly's line is all new and they're not doing so bad. Favre's never won here? Really? PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. How is that roughing? How? And it ends up not really mattering. Where's Aaron Rodgers?
The Leftwich injury may have made things a lot easier for the Chargers.
Play action! I'm not sure how that works when Alexander hasn't done a whole lot but I'm OK with it. Nice foot drag by Toomer. Are we sure Shockey stayed in? Do the Seahawks want to win this game? (waits two minutes) Do the Giants want to win this game? Eleven false starts? That's unfathomable. Do the Giants want to win this game? Can a guy be cut in the middle of a game? Is that possible? Tiki, before the third miss: "I will give you my house if he misses this one." I think we're gonna need a notary public.
This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Jay Feely, 2. Matt Bryant, 3. Billy Cundiff, 4. John Hall, 5. Jeff Reed.
All right, Joe, you need to calm down with that "Haslett for Coach of the Year" talk. I don't know why the rules are the way they are but I can't justify overturning the Coles touchdown. Are you like me and would have rather watched the Grey Cup instead of this?
That's... exactly the opposite of the way the Steelers wanted to start this game. That's gonna be a bad matchup all night; the Steelers' corners have been their weak spot for years. Has Peyton missed yet? Ah, there's one. I'm quite disappointed in the lack of touchdowns tonight. What was that? An onside kick? That's a sign of panic if I ever saw one. Notice how many of Ben's throws aren't going where they look like they should be going -- I'm thinking of one in particular in the third where it looked like he lobbed it and it ended up being almost a line drive. I'm not going to say whether the Colts can do it or not.
FANTASY REPORT aPa SmackDown! (7-5, W2, clinched playoff berth): I led Nate by .02 after Sunday's games and we had about every relevant Colt except for Peyton. But Marvin gave me the edge and I won 89-57 and THE SEAGULLS ARE BACK IN THE PLAYOFFS! Now to figure out how best to avoid Weeba and LDT in the first round.
JackSux (9-3, W1): The Falcons' defense gave me a 20-point lead on Gates on Thanksgiving and I cruised from there. Now it's about getting that first-round bye -- Rob, Jen and I have the same record, and I'm only 73 points ahead of third-place Jen.
RANKINGS TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (11-0) - May as well go for it now
2. Denver (9-2) - Continuing to do things right
3. Seattle (9-2) - Now that's a suckout
BOTTOM 3:
30. N.Y. Jets (2-9) - Richard Todd comeback rumors are unfounded
31. Green Bay (2-9) - Has everything officially gone wrong yet?
32. Houston (1-10) - I think I'm out of one-liners
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 11: Born To Run
View Finder: PHI @ NYG, PIT @ BAL (end), IND @ CIN
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close I: Eagles-Giants. Here's all you need to know about Mike McMahon: 1) He went to Rutgers; and 2) the Lions let him go. I'll let that sink in while you look at how awful he's been so far. Oh, a blocked punt. That hasn't happened to them yet, right? OK. Eli's looking kind of unremarkable again. OK, this Brandon Jacobs thing? It's not working out quite right. McMahon's picked it up here in the second half. TOUCHDOWN! Now they have to get the ball back... but not after a Giants score. Nice fakeout by Eli there. Oh well.
*crosses off Rams*
There was a Sage Rosenfels bandwagon? Have things gotten that bad down there? Well, when you get shut out by the Browns, I guess they have. How exactly did both teams come out of this game with quarterback controversies? Did anyone have the Browns winning four games this year? I didn't.
This should be interesting... the Bucs know how to keep Vick contained, but he seems to be making a concerted effort to at least try to throw down the field. Cadillac seems to be rolling again, which complicates matters. And the Falcons are in another early hole. Hey, a Michael Jenkins sighting! The Falcons were 11 of 17 on third down, blowing up the Bucs' 29% allowance rate or whatever it was. So what happened at the end? Vick lost the ball; did Dunn get tossed into him or something? Brooks didn't even know afterwards. "We're going to creep out of here very humbly."
Holy crap. Delhomme's like the Space Invaders turret but the whole front row's shooting back. Eight sacks? Really? How does that happen? Vasher's going to end up in the Pro Bowl if he keeps this up. That's one good team the Bears have beaten, which puts their total at... one. I'm willing to buy.
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close II: Saints-Patriots.
No Ben, no Batch, no chance? "How do you keep ravens out of your backyard?" "Put up goal posts." Nice to see Maddox still sucking the big one. Y'know, Kordell Stewart is out there.
And the Colts and Bengals proceed to score more points in 20 minutes than the Steelers and Ravens scored in 70. Ah, there's the old Chad. Good on ya. What's interesting so far is that the Bengals have completely bottled up the Colts' pass rush. If only they hadn't settled for that one field goal. Are the Colts just pulling guys out of the stands and throwing touchdowns to them? Who are these people? I thought the kickoff after the Fletcher touchdown was a punt because I didn't see either the touchdown or the guy kick off afterwards. What's beautiful about the Colts is that they can do that, then come out in the second half and run the ball seven straight times. Onside kick time! The Bengals went the other way the first time; they have to do the same thing again, right? Because the Colts aren't lining up like they're expecting it.
I heard a nasty rumor that they're hanging up the powder blues for good. Deny this.
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close III: Seahawks-49ers. And yet...
Man, not only are the Texans bad, aside from the kickoff return, they're boring to watch. They're so boring they make the other team boring. I've never been so disinterested watching 45 points being scored in my life.
You can throw out the records when the Vikings and the Packers meet, and in this case, I think they'd both prefer it. Why aren't the Vikings covering Driver? Wait a second... a Vikings DB not named Sharper making an actual play? What's that about? Well, that was short-lived. The Vikings' offense has scored! Stop the presses!!! We've seen this ending before, haven't we?
FANTASY REPORT
aPa SmackDown! (6-5, W1): I needed the Vikings to keep Sakmon Gado out of the end zone Monday night, and they did, giving me a 60-56 win over the Dead Kennedys in a game I had to have. The Seagulls are currently 7th, six points behind our bitter rivals the Goat Boys of Iowa, who we meet next week.
JackSux (8-3, L2): You know the saying, "When you say you have two quarterbacks, it means you don't have any"? Well, this week I did the same thing as last week and made a last-minute switch from Trent Green to Mark Brunell and paid dearly for it. With Green, Droughns and Reggie Brown, I left 51 points on the bench. That's obscene.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (10-0) - The fireworks are back
2. Denver (8-2) - Broncos show no signs of slipping
3. Seattle (8-2) - Winning the ugly ones this time around
BOTTOM 3:
30. San Francisco (2-8) - When's The Original coming back?
31. Green Bay (2-8) - You can see the end from here
32. Houston (1-9) - Zzzzzzzzzzzz...
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close I: Eagles-Giants. Here's all you need to know about Mike McMahon: 1) He went to Rutgers; and 2) the Lions let him go. I'll let that sink in while you look at how awful he's been so far. Oh, a blocked punt. That hasn't happened to them yet, right? OK. Eli's looking kind of unremarkable again. OK, this Brandon Jacobs thing? It's not working out quite right. McMahon's picked it up here in the second half. TOUCHDOWN! Now they have to get the ball back... but not after a Giants score. Nice fakeout by Eli there. Oh well.
*crosses off Rams*
There was a Sage Rosenfels bandwagon? Have things gotten that bad down there? Well, when you get shut out by the Browns, I guess they have. How exactly did both teams come out of this game with quarterback controversies? Did anyone have the Browns winning four games this year? I didn't.
This should be interesting... the Bucs know how to keep Vick contained, but he seems to be making a concerted effort to at least try to throw down the field. Cadillac seems to be rolling again, which complicates matters. And the Falcons are in another early hole. Hey, a Michael Jenkins sighting! The Falcons were 11 of 17 on third down, blowing up the Bucs' 29% allowance rate or whatever it was. So what happened at the end? Vick lost the ball; did Dunn get tossed into him or something? Brooks didn't even know afterwards. "We're going to creep out of here very humbly."
Holy crap. Delhomme's like the Space Invaders turret but the whole front row's shooting back. Eight sacks? Really? How does that happen? Vasher's going to end up in the Pro Bowl if he keeps this up. That's one good team the Bears have beaten, which puts their total at... one. I'm willing to buy.
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close II: Saints-Patriots.
No Ben, no Batch, no chance? "How do you keep ravens out of your backyard?" "Put up goal posts." Nice to see Maddox still sucking the big one. Y'know, Kordell Stewart is out there.
And the Colts and Bengals proceed to score more points in 20 minutes than the Steelers and Ravens scored in 70. Ah, there's the old Chad. Good on ya. What's interesting so far is that the Bengals have completely bottled up the Colts' pass rush. If only they hadn't settled for that one field goal. Are the Colts just pulling guys out of the stands and throwing touchdowns to them? Who are these people? I thought the kickoff after the Fletcher touchdown was a punt because I didn't see either the touchdown or the guy kick off afterwards. What's beautiful about the Colts is that they can do that, then come out in the second half and run the ball seven straight times. Onside kick time! The Bengals went the other way the first time; they have to do the same thing again, right? Because the Colts aren't lining up like they're expecting it.
I heard a nasty rumor that they're hanging up the powder blues for good. Deny this.
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close III: Seahawks-49ers. And yet...
Man, not only are the Texans bad, aside from the kickoff return, they're boring to watch. They're so boring they make the other team boring. I've never been so disinterested watching 45 points being scored in my life.
You can throw out the records when the Vikings and the Packers meet, and in this case, I think they'd both prefer it. Why aren't the Vikings covering Driver? Wait a second... a Vikings DB not named Sharper making an actual play? What's that about? Well, that was short-lived. The Vikings' offense has scored! Stop the presses!!! We've seen this ending before, haven't we?
FANTASY REPORT
aPa SmackDown! (6-5, W1): I needed the Vikings to keep Sakmon Gado out of the end zone Monday night, and they did, giving me a 60-56 win over the Dead Kennedys in a game I had to have. The Seagulls are currently 7th, six points behind our bitter rivals the Goat Boys of Iowa, who we meet next week.
JackSux (8-3, L2): You know the saying, "When you say you have two quarterbacks, it means you don't have any"? Well, this week I did the same thing as last week and made a last-minute switch from Trent Green to Mark Brunell and paid dearly for it. With Green, Droughns and Reggie Brown, I left 51 points on the bench. That's obscene.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (10-0) - The fireworks are back
2. Denver (8-2) - Broncos show no signs of slipping
3. Seattle (8-2) - Winning the ugly ones this time around
BOTTOM 3:
30. San Francisco (2-8) - When's The Original coming back?
31. Green Bay (2-8) - You can see the end from here
32. Houston (1-9) - Zzzzzzzzzzzz...
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 10: Turnstiles
God, this weekend sucked.
View Finder: MIN @ NYG, WSH @ TB
It's easy to forget that Eli hasn't even played 16 games yet. In the back of your mind, you knew this was coming; you just didn't think it would happen against this bunch. Did anyone even see Sharper? Is anyone trying? Hey, a Koren Robinson sighting! This is what it's come to for him? Sad. Tice getting racked sums up the entire Vikings' season, doesn't it? In Eli's defense here, two of those weren't his fault (the one that went off of Toomer's hands at the end, in particular, should've been caught) How 'bout that Vikings offense? Good Lord. This should never have happened.
The City appears to be particularly Windy -- I think that field goal attempt ended up in the ivy at Wrigley. And I think the bigger question is: knowing that, why do you try a 52-yarder? Vasher was running like a lineman at the end of that.
Really? It's been that long since the Jaguars have scored 30 points?
Max: "Wasn't Sakmon Goto the guy who crippled Van Damme's brother in Kickboxer?" His name is Sakmon Gato. Well, this guy's is. I have no explanation for the outcome of this game other than Packer pride. Well, that and the fumbles. This may be Upset of the Year.
Hey, the real Rams are back. The wire story said "Vitt morphed into Martz" on the fake field goal flop and that's pretty accurate. I think the NFC West just got decided. Can we start talking about Alexander, please?
Fly, Alstott! Fly! Sometimes a game can be fun when it's the exact opposite of what you expect it to be. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. When did Ike Hilliard join the Buccaneers? Talk about a stealth move. And this is what I mean... how are these two teams in a shootout? Especially with Tampa getting nothing from Cadillac again, although Simms looks sharp. The announcers called the offsides on the blocked extra point before the officials did. Are... are the Bucs going for two now? WOW. I still don't know if he got in or not.
I expect one long "Duuuuuuuce" chant tonight. Apparently I'm mistaken. How about that Wilson catch? And Batch's Matt Leinart impression? It's fortunate the Browns are still pretty bad because I don't know if I'd feel confident with Maddox in there otherwise. Truth: Randle El finished with more passing yards.
*crosses off Eagles*
FANTASY REPORT
aPa SmackDown! (5-5, L1): It's telling that of the teams that I draw players from, only the Colts won. Ska beats me 93-77 in a game he had to have.
JackSux (8-2, L1): Trent Green scores negative points and I lose by eight. Thanks for your fucking contribution.
RANKINGS TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (9-0) - Now it starts getting heavy
2. Denver (7-2) - Plummer an MVP candidate?
3. Pittsburgh (7-2) - Going through QBs like Sherman through Georgia
BOTTOM 3:
30. Saints (2-7) - Week off can't stop the badness
31. Green Bay (2-7) - Well, that's... something
32. Houston (1-8) - Would they take Leinart?
View Finder: MIN @ NYG, WSH @ TB
It's easy to forget that Eli hasn't even played 16 games yet. In the back of your mind, you knew this was coming; you just didn't think it would happen against this bunch. Did anyone even see Sharper? Is anyone trying? Hey, a Koren Robinson sighting! This is what it's come to for him? Sad. Tice getting racked sums up the entire Vikings' season, doesn't it? In Eli's defense here, two of those weren't his fault (the one that went off of Toomer's hands at the end, in particular, should've been caught) How 'bout that Vikings offense? Good Lord. This should never have happened.
The City appears to be particularly Windy -- I think that field goal attempt ended up in the ivy at Wrigley. And I think the bigger question is: knowing that, why do you try a 52-yarder? Vasher was running like a lineman at the end of that.
Really? It's been that long since the Jaguars have scored 30 points?
Max: "Wasn't Sakmon Goto the guy who crippled Van Damme's brother in Kickboxer?" His name is Sakmon Gato. Well, this guy's is. I have no explanation for the outcome of this game other than Packer pride. Well, that and the fumbles. This may be Upset of the Year.
Hey, the real Rams are back. The wire story said "Vitt morphed into Martz" on the fake field goal flop and that's pretty accurate. I think the NFC West just got decided. Can we start talking about Alexander, please?
Fly, Alstott! Fly! Sometimes a game can be fun when it's the exact opposite of what you expect it to be. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. When did Ike Hilliard join the Buccaneers? Talk about a stealth move. And this is what I mean... how are these two teams in a shootout? Especially with Tampa getting nothing from Cadillac again, although Simms looks sharp. The announcers called the offsides on the blocked extra point before the officials did. Are... are the Bucs going for two now? WOW. I still don't know if he got in or not.
I expect one long "Duuuuuuuce" chant tonight. Apparently I'm mistaken. How about that Wilson catch? And Batch's Matt Leinart impression? It's fortunate the Browns are still pretty bad because I don't know if I'd feel confident with Maddox in there otherwise. Truth: Randle El finished with more passing yards.
*crosses off Eagles*
FANTASY REPORT
aPa SmackDown! (5-5, L1): It's telling that of the teams that I draw players from, only the Colts won. Ska beats me 93-77 in a game he had to have.
JackSux (8-2, L1): Trent Green scores negative points and I lose by eight. Thanks for your fucking contribution.
RANKINGS TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (9-0) - Now it starts getting heavy
2. Denver (7-2) - Plummer an MVP candidate?
3. Pittsburgh (7-2) - Going through QBs like Sherman through Georgia
BOTTOM 3:
30. Saints (2-7) - Week off can't stop the badness
31. Green Bay (2-7) - Well, that's... something
32. Houston (1-8) - Would they take Leinart?
Friday, November 11, 2005
Hammer Time!!!
I've just about given up raising pre-flop at the .5/1 Party tables because nobody respects it. But here's why you still probably should:
$0.50/$1 Texas Hold'em - Friday, November 11, 02:35:32 EDT 2005
Table Table 65508 (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 1: Jagarn333 ( $25 )
Seat 2: mddocbrooks ( $30.13 )
Seat 3: minutemaid05 ( $59.11 )
Seat 4: eagle405 ( $11.50 )
Seat 5: RJBOOMER ( $19.25 )
Seat 6: waynederful ( $11.62 )
Seat 7: JNICSAC ( $44.25 )
Seat 8: JonasN ( $24.75 )
Seat 9: kevinx8279 ( $0 )
Seat 10: flanagan9905 ( $4.75 )
kevinx8279 has left the table.
minutemaid05 posts small blind [$0.25].
eagle405 posts big blind [$0.50].
Jagarn333 posts big blind [$0.50].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to eagle405 [ 2s 7c ]
RJBOOMER calls [$0.50].
waynederful calls [$0.50].
JNICSAC calls [$0.50].
JonasN folds.
Prestt8 has joined the table.
flanagan9905 calls [$0.50].
Jagarn333 checks.
mddocbrooks calls [$0.50].
minutemaid05 calls [$0.25].
eagle405 checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ Kc, 2d, 7s ]
minutemaid05 checks.
eagle405 bets [$0.50].
RJBOOMER folds.
waynederful folds.
JNICSAC folds.
flanagan9905 raises [$1].
Jagarn333 folds.
mddocbrooks folds.
minutemaid05 folds.
eagle405 calls [$0.50].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8c ]
eagle405 bets [$1].
flanagan9905 raises [$2].
eagle405 calls [$1].
** Dealing River ** [ 6h ]
eagle405 checks.
flanagan9905 bets [$1].
eagle405 calls [$1].
flanagan9905 shows [ Kd, 5h ] a pair of kings.
eagle405 shows [ 2s, 7c ] two pairs, sevens and twos.
eagle405 wins $11.25 from the main pot with two pairs, sevens and twos.
-----------
I will no longer play on Wednesdays because I always lose money. I lost $10 in three hands on Wednesday night getting slow-played to death.
After that hand, I got knocked out of a $2 multi-table tourney when my pocket queens ran into pocket aces. My MTT finishes are actually getting worse.
But still, I dropped the HAMMER.
$0.50/$1 Texas Hold'em - Friday, November 11, 02:35:32 EDT 2005
Table Table 65508 (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 1: Jagarn333 ( $25 )
Seat 2: mddocbrooks ( $30.13 )
Seat 3: minutemaid05 ( $59.11 )
Seat 4: eagle405 ( $11.50 )
Seat 5: RJBOOMER ( $19.25 )
Seat 6: waynederful ( $11.62 )
Seat 7: JNICSAC ( $44.25 )
Seat 8: JonasN ( $24.75 )
Seat 9: kevinx8279 ( $0 )
Seat 10: flanagan9905 ( $4.75 )
kevinx8279 has left the table.
minutemaid05 posts small blind [$0.25].
eagle405 posts big blind [$0.50].
Jagarn333 posts big blind [$0.50].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to eagle405 [ 2s 7c ]
RJBOOMER calls [$0.50].
waynederful calls [$0.50].
JNICSAC calls [$0.50].
JonasN folds.
Prestt8 has joined the table.
flanagan9905 calls [$0.50].
Jagarn333 checks.
mddocbrooks calls [$0.50].
minutemaid05 calls [$0.25].
eagle405 checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ Kc, 2d, 7s ]
minutemaid05 checks.
eagle405 bets [$0.50].
RJBOOMER folds.
waynederful folds.
JNICSAC folds.
flanagan9905 raises [$1].
Jagarn333 folds.
mddocbrooks folds.
minutemaid05 folds.
eagle405 calls [$0.50].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8c ]
eagle405 bets [$1].
flanagan9905 raises [$2].
eagle405 calls [$1].
** Dealing River ** [ 6h ]
eagle405 checks.
flanagan9905 bets [$1].
eagle405 calls [$1].
flanagan9905 shows [ Kd, 5h ] a pair of kings.
eagle405 shows [ 2s, 7c ] two pairs, sevens and twos.
eagle405 wins $11.25 from the main pot with two pairs, sevens and twos.
-----------
I will no longer play on Wednesdays because I always lose money. I lost $10 in three hands on Wednesday night getting slow-played to death.
After that hand, I got knocked out of a $2 multi-table tourney when my pocket queens ran into pocket aces. My MTT finishes are actually getting worse.
But still, I dropped the HAMMER.
Tuesday, November 8, 2005
By the Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 9: War
View Finder: SD @ NYJ, OAK @ KC (end), NYG @ SF
Philip, I'd advise you to take a good look around. Scout the winds; note the dimensions, know where all the exits are. Just... familiarize yourself with this place. I'm not saying; I'm just saying. Touchdown LDT. Touchdown LDT. Touch... yeah, you know the rest. Brooks Bollinger's back! Maybe this means they'll finally put Vinny down for good? Martin's 100th career touchdown? Pshhh. Tomlinson may get that many this season at this pace. Are the Chargers gonna blow another one? Okay, no. Butch: "You know what I'd like? To root for a boring team. That'd be nice."
Hey, who's that guy in the red and white hanging out in the pocket throwing laser beams?
Watch Out For: Jacksonville.
Anyone here seen the Bears play yet? Are they actually any good or just the best of a sorry lot? Tiger Stadium probably drew more for Arkansas State or whoever LSU played last week. The Saints just can't score touchdowns. It's unfathomable what's gone on down there.
"Six of the last seven Chiefs-Raiders games in Arrowhead have been decided in overtime or the last 25 seconds of regulation. The teams are 3-3 in those six games, but the last three have gone to the Chiefs." So you know where this is headed. As you see above, I caught the tail end of this and... wow. Just... wow. Not only to go for it there, but to call a running play. Vince McMahon's grapefruits are nothing compared to Dick Vermiel's.
Better catch: Burleson or Shockey?
Speaking of the Giants, it looked for a long time like they were gonna screw up and lose this one. All the penalties, the two long field goals Nedney hit... they just didn't look good for the longest time. I'm not convinced yet.
We did the math and figured out that in a hypothetical Seahawks/Cardinals Sunday night game, Shaun Alexander would rush for 529 yards.
This Week It Sucks To Be: 2. Anthony Wright, 3. Brett Favre, 4. Chris Simms, 5. Josh McCown.
This'll be... interesting. Donovan's moving better than he has since he got hurt, but like Patrick said, that likely just means he feels better than he had been. It doesn't mean everything's all right. Brown could've run another 50 yards and not been caught, that's how good a route that was. FUMBLE... ah, they got it back. I still haven't digested the Failed Fake Spike yet. It's almost like Donovan forgot to tell anyone else he was gonna do it. It's a David Akers sighting! And there's another fumble the Redskins get back. OMG a BILLY McMULLEN sighting! You know who's good is Chris Cooley. How many breaks are the Redskins going to get tonight? Good Lord. Nice to see the Eagles acting with the appropriate sense of urgency here, but even if they score, there might be too much time left... but that's no longer an issue, is it?
Colts score first! That's massive. Even after the Patriots tied it, I didn't get the feeling that the Colts felt like they were in any danger. Maybe it was just early. What nobody pointed out on the "Which runner was ruled down?" fumble was that the reason the ball came loose again was that David had thrown it away after recovering it. So he knew he was down, but nobody else did, and everyone comically chased it down another 35 yards or so. High comedy. Going for it in that spot? An onside kick that early? What's Belichick thinking? The other part of Madden was saying about how the Patriots' defense looked tired was all the guys they had to move around because of the injuries, and then just ineffectiveness. (Hello, there's a reason Duane Starks was cut by the freakin' Cardinals.) That was Dennis Quaid doing the open? Really? Has Indy punted yet? The thing is, now, the Colts might not even see the Patriots again this year.
FANTASY REPORT
aPa SmackDown! (5-4, W1): MARVIN HARRISON IS A GOLDEN GOD. Going into Monday night I had Harrison, Wayne and Vanderjagt while Wade had Peyton and David Givens, who I was expecting to be the difference. But it was Marvin's second touchdown catch (and Wade not having a second available RB) that enabled me to win by seven.
JackSux (8-1, W1, clinched playoff spot): That's right, friends. The Captains of Charisma are already in the playoffs. I trailed the Iceflame Freaks by a fraction of a point going into MNF and basically just needed Wayne to show up. Next week I have to go without Tomlinson, though.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (8-0) - Season's over
2. Denver (6-2) - Will week off turn them back into choking dogs?
3. Cincinnati (7-2) - Bengals get physical against rivals
BOTTOM 3:
30. Saints (2-7) - Circumstances aside, this team blows
31. Houston (1-7) - Return to form
32. Green Bay (1-7) - The sad thing is, they can't even draft Leinart
Philip, I'd advise you to take a good look around. Scout the winds; note the dimensions, know where all the exits are. Just... familiarize yourself with this place. I'm not saying; I'm just saying. Touchdown LDT. Touchdown LDT. Touch... yeah, you know the rest. Brooks Bollinger's back! Maybe this means they'll finally put Vinny down for good? Martin's 100th career touchdown? Pshhh. Tomlinson may get that many this season at this pace. Are the Chargers gonna blow another one? Okay, no. Butch: "You know what I'd like? To root for a boring team. That'd be nice."
Hey, who's that guy in the red and white hanging out in the pocket throwing laser beams?
Watch Out For: Jacksonville.
Anyone here seen the Bears play yet? Are they actually any good or just the best of a sorry lot? Tiger Stadium probably drew more for Arkansas State or whoever LSU played last week. The Saints just can't score touchdowns. It's unfathomable what's gone on down there.
"Six of the last seven Chiefs-Raiders games in Arrowhead have been decided in overtime or the last 25 seconds of regulation. The teams are 3-3 in those six games, but the last three have gone to the Chiefs." So you know where this is headed. As you see above, I caught the tail end of this and... wow. Just... wow. Not only to go for it there, but to call a running play. Vince McMahon's grapefruits are nothing compared to Dick Vermiel's.
Better catch: Burleson or Shockey?
Speaking of the Giants, it looked for a long time like they were gonna screw up and lose this one. All the penalties, the two long field goals Nedney hit... they just didn't look good for the longest time. I'm not convinced yet.
We did the math and figured out that in a hypothetical Seahawks/Cardinals Sunday night game, Shaun Alexander would rush for 529 yards.
This Week It Sucks To Be: 2. Anthony Wright, 3. Brett Favre, 4. Chris Simms, 5. Josh McCown.
This'll be... interesting. Donovan's moving better than he has since he got hurt, but like Patrick said, that likely just means he feels better than he had been. It doesn't mean everything's all right. Brown could've run another 50 yards and not been caught, that's how good a route that was. FUMBLE... ah, they got it back. I still haven't digested the Failed Fake Spike yet. It's almost like Donovan forgot to tell anyone else he was gonna do it. It's a David Akers sighting! And there's another fumble the Redskins get back. OMG a BILLY McMULLEN sighting! You know who's good is Chris Cooley. How many breaks are the Redskins going to get tonight? Good Lord. Nice to see the Eagles acting with the appropriate sense of urgency here, but even if they score, there might be too much time left... but that's no longer an issue, is it?
Colts score first! That's massive. Even after the Patriots tied it, I didn't get the feeling that the Colts felt like they were in any danger. Maybe it was just early. What nobody pointed out on the "Which runner was ruled down?" fumble was that the reason the ball came loose again was that David had thrown it away after recovering it. So he knew he was down, but nobody else did, and everyone comically chased it down another 35 yards or so. High comedy. Going for it in that spot? An onside kick that early? What's Belichick thinking? The other part of Madden was saying about how the Patriots' defense looked tired was all the guys they had to move around because of the injuries, and then just ineffectiveness. (Hello, there's a reason Duane Starks was cut by the freakin' Cardinals.) That was Dennis Quaid doing the open? Really? Has Indy punted yet? The thing is, now, the Colts might not even see the Patriots again this year.
FANTASY REPORT
aPa SmackDown! (5-4, W1): MARVIN HARRISON IS A GOLDEN GOD. Going into Monday night I had Harrison, Wayne and Vanderjagt while Wade had Peyton and David Givens, who I was expecting to be the difference. But it was Marvin's second touchdown catch (and Wade not having a second available RB) that enabled me to win by seven.
JackSux (8-1, W1, clinched playoff spot): That's right, friends. The Captains of Charisma are already in the playoffs. I trailed the Iceflame Freaks by a fraction of a point going into MNF and basically just needed Wayne to show up. Next week I have to go without Tomlinson, though.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (8-0) - Season's over
2. Denver (6-2) - Will week off turn them back into choking dogs?
3. Cincinnati (7-2) - Bengals get physical against rivals
BOTTOM 3:
30. Saints (2-7) - Circumstances aside, this team blows
31. Houston (1-7) - Return to form
32. Green Bay (1-7) - The sad thing is, they can't even draft Leinart
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
By the PIgskin Of Our Teeth, Week 8: Houses of the (Un)Holy
View Finder: WSH @ NYG, JAX @ STL, OAK @ TEN (end), PHI @ DEN
RIP Mr. Mara. Hey, between putting up 52 points last week and this, the Redskins are screwed, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Packers-Bengals. It's obvious the Benglas still aren't quite used to this whole "being successful" thing. I mean, seriously: no Green, no Walker, no defense... how does this even count as a league game? The reaction to the fan running on the field and taking the ball out of Favre's hands had to have been total shock -- how else do you explain that he's still alive? You have to pound him down like a piece of veal, am I right? Didn't Favre do something like that a couple of years ago?
Two bright spots for the Vikings: 1) Daunte doesn't have to suffer anymore; 2) Frankly, the way he'd been playing, Brad Johnson's an upgrade at this point.
This will not reflect well on the Browns.
Me, September 8: "This year I'm telling you that Joey Harrington will be just fine." Clearly, I deserve to be taken seriously. Although he could have gone out there and done that. I think the Bears just clinched the NFC North.
On the other hand, I'm riding this "I can't believe how everyone fell for the Cardinals" wave into the ground. "Experts." Pssssshhhhhh.
Hey, it's the Rams' B-teamers again. Furrey's the guy who took the ball away from Ernie Conwell last week, right? Stephen Jackson is just carving up the Jags' defense here, and it's a good thing he is, because I don't know if anyone else who's left can. MATT JONES! WHO! All right, that's the first and last time I'll do that. You know who's been ruling for the Jaguars is Ernest Wilford. Why do all their receivers wear numbers in the teens again? And are they about to pull off another comeback? Never mind.
This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. The Browns; 2. The Redskins; 3. The Eagles; 4. The Buccaneers; 5. The Lions.
The best way to break this down, I think, is like so: The first 25 minutes were the Eagles-Chiefs game. The second 20 minutes were the fourth quarter of every Broncos game this year. And the last 15 were every time Plummer's led a comeback against the Eagles. Nice leaping one-handed grab by Alexander. And did T.O. actually not celebrate after faking Champ out of his jock? Let me just say that Donovan's not playing on the defense that gave up 49 points.
If this continues, Ken Dorsey and Craig Krenzel are gonna end up teammates. Cadillac's clearly not fully recovered and it shows, and it's not doing Simms any favors. Did that pass hit the official in the head? Someone tell the 49ers that where all the red paint is... that's the end zone, and the object of the game is to get the ball in it. Pickett coming off the field after the tackle on the punt return and switching helmets was tremendous. Did... did that just happen? It's official, folks: the NFC blows.
That "Tomlinson has more touchdown passes than any New York Jet" stat says a lot about a lot of things.
Of course Tedy's been on the field almost every play -- the Patriots' defense can't get off the field. I still love how announcers bring up Holcomb's past big passing performances and leave out the fact that he lost. Normally I'd say the Bills' inability to get touchdowns is going to cost them in the end, but the Pats' offense doesn't look like it's here yet. You know who's still good is Eric Moulds. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Hey, a Corey Dillon sighting! This may sound strange, but this is the best thing the Colts could have hoped for -- all the Bruschi hoopla's out of the way, and they won't be facing the Pats coming off a home loss. It is, after all, the Biggest Game Ever.
No Ray and no Reed? This could get ugly in the bad way in a hurry. Ben can punt? Who knew? And points to Al Michaels for off-handedly suggesting it when he said that the Steelers could do a quick kick from that formation. Insult to injury right there. Ward's leap-take the hit-bobble-take the second hit-catch-and-point is Play of the Week and it's really not close. The only reason this game is stil competitive is because of the rivalry factor -- remember that these two teams do not like each other. CLANG! That'll cost 'em. See? Jeff Reed knows how it's done.
FANTASY REPORT
aPa SmackDown! (4-4, L1): Up against Tiki and Antonio Gates, and with Brunell and Cooley posting negative numbers, and Harrison and Wayne on their bye week... well, you can guess this result. 102-43. Wade looms in the near distance.
JackSux (7-1, L1): Lost to Johnny 97-80 on the shoulders of an unrelated Barber (Marion) and me getting nothing from Brunell.
RANKINGS:
TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (7-0) - A win next week and it's probably over
2. Denver (6-2) - Eight games down, eight to go
3 (tie) Pittsburgh (5-2) - Steelers win a close one when it counts
(tie) Cincinnati (6-2) - Lucky and good
BOTTOM 3:
30. Houston (1-6) - Make no mistake, there's still problems here
31. Cleveland (2-5) - Because really, they lost to the Texans
32. Green Bay (1-6) - You know it's bad when even fans are forcing turnovers
RIP Mr. Mara. Hey, between putting up 52 points last week and this, the Redskins are screwed, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Packers-Bengals. It's obvious the Benglas still aren't quite used to this whole "being successful" thing. I mean, seriously: no Green, no Walker, no defense... how does this even count as a league game? The reaction to the fan running on the field and taking the ball out of Favre's hands had to have been total shock -- how else do you explain that he's still alive? You have to pound him down like a piece of veal, am I right? Didn't Favre do something like that a couple of years ago?
Two bright spots for the Vikings: 1) Daunte doesn't have to suffer anymore; 2) Frankly, the way he'd been playing, Brad Johnson's an upgrade at this point.
This will not reflect well on the Browns.
Me, September 8: "This year I'm telling you that Joey Harrington will be just fine." Clearly, I deserve to be taken seriously. Although he could have gone out there and done that. I think the Bears just clinched the NFC North.
On the other hand, I'm riding this "I can't believe how everyone fell for the Cardinals" wave into the ground. "Experts." Pssssshhhhhh.
Hey, it's the Rams' B-teamers again. Furrey's the guy who took the ball away from Ernie Conwell last week, right? Stephen Jackson is just carving up the Jags' defense here, and it's a good thing he is, because I don't know if anyone else who's left can. MATT JONES! WHO! All right, that's the first and last time I'll do that. You know who's been ruling for the Jaguars is Ernest Wilford. Why do all their receivers wear numbers in the teens again? And are they about to pull off another comeback? Never mind.
This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. The Browns; 2. The Redskins; 3. The Eagles; 4. The Buccaneers; 5. The Lions.
The best way to break this down, I think, is like so: The first 25 minutes were the Eagles-Chiefs game. The second 20 minutes were the fourth quarter of every Broncos game this year. And the last 15 were every time Plummer's led a comeback against the Eagles. Nice leaping one-handed grab by Alexander. And did T.O. actually not celebrate after faking Champ out of his jock? Let me just say that Donovan's not playing on the defense that gave up 49 points.
If this continues, Ken Dorsey and Craig Krenzel are gonna end up teammates. Cadillac's clearly not fully recovered and it shows, and it's not doing Simms any favors. Did that pass hit the official in the head? Someone tell the 49ers that where all the red paint is... that's the end zone, and the object of the game is to get the ball in it. Pickett coming off the field after the tackle on the punt return and switching helmets was tremendous. Did... did that just happen? It's official, folks: the NFC blows.
That "Tomlinson has more touchdown passes than any New York Jet" stat says a lot about a lot of things.
Of course Tedy's been on the field almost every play -- the Patriots' defense can't get off the field. I still love how announcers bring up Holcomb's past big passing performances and leave out the fact that he lost. Normally I'd say the Bills' inability to get touchdowns is going to cost them in the end, but the Pats' offense doesn't look like it's here yet. You know who's still good is Eric Moulds. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Hey, a Corey Dillon sighting! This may sound strange, but this is the best thing the Colts could have hoped for -- all the Bruschi hoopla's out of the way, and they won't be facing the Pats coming off a home loss. It is, after all, the Biggest Game Ever.
No Ray and no Reed? This could get ugly in the bad way in a hurry. Ben can punt? Who knew? And points to Al Michaels for off-handedly suggesting it when he said that the Steelers could do a quick kick from that formation. Insult to injury right there. Ward's leap-take the hit-bobble-take the second hit-catch-and-point is Play of the Week and it's really not close. The only reason this game is stil competitive is because of the rivalry factor -- remember that these two teams do not like each other. CLANG! That'll cost 'em. See? Jeff Reed knows how it's done.
FANTASY REPORT
aPa SmackDown! (4-4, L1): Up against Tiki and Antonio Gates, and with Brunell and Cooley posting negative numbers, and Harrison and Wayne on their bye week... well, you can guess this result. 102-43. Wade looms in the near distance.
JackSux (7-1, L1): Lost to Johnny 97-80 on the shoulders of an unrelated Barber (Marion) and me getting nothing from Brunell.
RANKINGS:
TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (7-0) - A win next week and it's probably over
2. Denver (6-2) - Eight games down, eight to go
3 (tie) Pittsburgh (5-2) - Steelers win a close one when it counts
(tie) Cincinnati (6-2) - Lucky and good
BOTTOM 3:
30. Houston (1-6) - Make no mistake, there's still problems here
31. Cleveland (2-5) - Because really, they lost to the Texans
32. Green Bay (1-6) - You know it's bad when even fans are forcing turnovers
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