Okay.
By the end of this year, I will either:
A) Start the novel, or
B) Resume working on the screenplay.
For now, let's just say I had a moment of clarity.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Four Things You Need To Understand
1. The cancellation of the entire NHL season will be the best thing that ever happened to the sport... IF the eventual negotiations and ultimate deal go beyond financial concerns and actually takes concrete steps to fixing the game.
2. This is not news. This happens almost every night in almost every strip club in America. I think this is what Jet's "Rollover DJ" is about.
3. It's become impossible to get through the Swimsuit Issue in one sitting. I'll let you decide on your own if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
4. Jose Canseco wrote his book to get revenge on baseball. That's it. He's been complaining for years that he was blackballed out of the game (well, now we know why, don't we?), and he's obscenely jealous that Mark McGwire was the one who got all the adulation. It's not like he's painting himself as some kind of savior for the game, but let's call a spade a spade: he's trying to get back at baseball. Dan Patrick said it best on his radio show last week: If Jose Canseco hits 500 home runs, he doesn't write this book.
2. This is not news. This happens almost every night in almost every strip club in America. I think this is what Jet's "Rollover DJ" is about.
3. It's become impossible to get through the Swimsuit Issue in one sitting. I'll let you decide on your own if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
4. Jose Canseco wrote his book to get revenge on baseball. That's it. He's been complaining for years that he was blackballed out of the game (well, now we know why, don't we?), and he's obscenely jealous that Mark McGwire was the one who got all the adulation. It's not like he's painting himself as some kind of savior for the game, but let's call a spade a spade: he's trying to get back at baseball. Dan Patrick said it best on his radio show last week: If Jose Canseco hits 500 home runs, he doesn't write this book.
Monday, February 7, 2005
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Super Bowl Edition: If I Wasn't Poor I'd Bet The Under
There are three things that make "Devil Went Down To Georgia"; the two fiddle solos and the first verse. How do you NOT do the first verse? Baffling.
Be honest: who, for even the most split of seconds, thought Michael Douglas was going to sing?
YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE at the world's largest active legal fireworks depository. No intros, Eagles win the toss(!) Good evening, Terrell. How are you? Fine? OK. Yeah, his knee was down. You know who the most improved Eagle is is probably the punter, Dirk Johnson. See, look: A defensive stalemate. 38-17, my ASS. Westbrook and Lito are back returning punts. Interesting. Oh, that's a bad sack. Oh, that's worse. What? A flag? Whew. And then Donovan throws the EXACT SAME PASS to the other side. That's awful. (In retrospect, you could say that was the game right there.)
And yet the Patriots can't do anything with it. This is odd. Ack! FUMBLE! (I was in the bathroom at the time.) Brady gets sacked? That doesn't happen. Hey, a Todd Pinkston sighting! Nice catch, sir. Good to have you back. "The tackle was on the end of the line?" Isn't that where the tackle is supposed to be? Am I missing something? TOUCHDOWN! And Smith had to fight through about three guys to get open there. Wow, the Patriots are actually trailing. What world is this?
Best Ad: FedEx. "That bear can TALK."
Givens was also down. The replay people have been on point tonight. Is this Tom Brady or Greg Brady? Seriously, he doesn't do things like this. Not that I'm at all upset. Ouch, not a good punt there. This is the best field position the Patriots have had so far. And that's a touchdown, believe it or not. What an ugly throw. 7-7 at the half - I bet nobody predicted THAT.
Some questioned the appearance of "Hey Jude." If you've got the catalog, use it, I say.
Was it last year I said Branch was the Pats' best receiver? Or was it two weeks ago? Either way, it's true. Mike Vrabel? AGAIN? I guess we really shouldn't be surprised anymore. We've got a fever, and the only prescription is MORE WESTBROOK. This happened in the championship game, too - they just gave him the ball on every play for an entire drive. And there's your result. It's tied again.
NEW Best Ad: Various NFL personalities singing "Tomorrow".
The Super Bowl's never been tied after three before? Wild. Is this the drive where the Patriots get the running game going finally? Sure looks like it. You know, if someone who was as much of a miserable bastard as Dillon was can fit in on the Patriots, I'm thinking almost anybody can.
Aikman was the only one who caught the roughing the passer penalty on Simon after the pass to Branch on the next drive. Good stand by the Eagles here... giving up another seven would have been devastating. Not that McNabb throwing another bad ball wasn't. One thing I've noticed about him is he can't afford to miss high. If he misses low the ball usually goes into the dirt, but if he's missing high, bad things happen. Credit to the Eagles' D, though... those turnovers haven't led to any points.
Time to get moving. T.O.'s had two big catches on this drive and is having a damn good game. You can playa hate, but you got to appreciate. CAN WE PICK UP THE FUCKING PACE? Hey, there's that post to Lewis that nobody's stopped yet in the playoffs. It's like that go route in pre-03 Maddens that was always there once a game. The Eagles are still in this thing almost in spite of themselves.
That's how you want to kick an onside kick, but that's not where you want it to end up. If there's such a thing as a "clutch punt", that was it. Westbrook really should've just let that one drop. EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! Ironically, Harrison's my MVP because of his first pick, not this one.
Yeah, I'm upset. More than I thought I'd be, actually. I mean, I know we lost to a better team, but we had a shot, damn it. I'm tempted to think that this was the worst Super Bowl the Pats have played and won, just because things happened to them in this game that don't happen to them. This game will win no style points.
Still, I look forward to the rematch. Take that for what you want.
Desperate Grasp At Straws: If my Madden dynasty is any guide, the Eagles win next year. Of course, they beat the Chiefs and Bobby Taylor had three interceptions, so that may not be the best indicator.
FINAL RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. New England - You can say the "D" word now
2. Philadelphia - Learned some hard lessons
3. Pittsburgh - Should probably tank home field in the future
BOTTOM 3:
30. Cleveland - Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Oh.
31. Miami - So many holes
32. San Francisco - Mike Nolan? Really?
Be honest: who, for even the most split of seconds, thought Michael Douglas was going to sing?
YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE at the world's largest active legal fireworks depository. No intros, Eagles win the toss(!) Good evening, Terrell. How are you? Fine? OK. Yeah, his knee was down. You know who the most improved Eagle is is probably the punter, Dirk Johnson. See, look: A defensive stalemate. 38-17, my ASS. Westbrook and Lito are back returning punts. Interesting. Oh, that's a bad sack. Oh, that's worse. What? A flag? Whew. And then Donovan throws the EXACT SAME PASS to the other side. That's awful. (In retrospect, you could say that was the game right there.)
And yet the Patriots can't do anything with it. This is odd. Ack! FUMBLE! (I was in the bathroom at the time.) Brady gets sacked? That doesn't happen. Hey, a Todd Pinkston sighting! Nice catch, sir. Good to have you back. "The tackle was on the end of the line?" Isn't that where the tackle is supposed to be? Am I missing something? TOUCHDOWN! And Smith had to fight through about three guys to get open there. Wow, the Patriots are actually trailing. What world is this?
Best Ad: FedEx. "That bear can TALK."
Givens was also down. The replay people have been on point tonight. Is this Tom Brady or Greg Brady? Seriously, he doesn't do things like this. Not that I'm at all upset. Ouch, not a good punt there. This is the best field position the Patriots have had so far. And that's a touchdown, believe it or not. What an ugly throw. 7-7 at the half - I bet nobody predicted THAT.
Some questioned the appearance of "Hey Jude." If you've got the catalog, use it, I say.
Was it last year I said Branch was the Pats' best receiver? Or was it two weeks ago? Either way, it's true. Mike Vrabel? AGAIN? I guess we really shouldn't be surprised anymore. We've got a fever, and the only prescription is MORE WESTBROOK. This happened in the championship game, too - they just gave him the ball on every play for an entire drive. And there's your result. It's tied again.
NEW Best Ad: Various NFL personalities singing "Tomorrow".
The Super Bowl's never been tied after three before? Wild. Is this the drive where the Patriots get the running game going finally? Sure looks like it. You know, if someone who was as much of a miserable bastard as Dillon was can fit in on the Patriots, I'm thinking almost anybody can.
Aikman was the only one who caught the roughing the passer penalty on Simon after the pass to Branch on the next drive. Good stand by the Eagles here... giving up another seven would have been devastating. Not that McNabb throwing another bad ball wasn't. One thing I've noticed about him is he can't afford to miss high. If he misses low the ball usually goes into the dirt, but if he's missing high, bad things happen. Credit to the Eagles' D, though... those turnovers haven't led to any points.
Time to get moving. T.O.'s had two big catches on this drive and is having a damn good game. You can playa hate, but you got to appreciate. CAN WE PICK UP THE FUCKING PACE? Hey, there's that post to Lewis that nobody's stopped yet in the playoffs. It's like that go route in pre-03 Maddens that was always there once a game. The Eagles are still in this thing almost in spite of themselves.
That's how you want to kick an onside kick, but that's not where you want it to end up. If there's such a thing as a "clutch punt", that was it. Westbrook really should've just let that one drop. EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! Ironically, Harrison's my MVP because of his first pick, not this one.
Yeah, I'm upset. More than I thought I'd be, actually. I mean, I know we lost to a better team, but we had a shot, damn it. I'm tempted to think that this was the worst Super Bowl the Pats have played and won, just because things happened to them in this game that don't happen to them. This game will win no style points.
Still, I look forward to the rematch. Take that for what you want.
Desperate Grasp At Straws: If my Madden dynasty is any guide, the Eagles win next year. Of course, they beat the Chiefs and Bobby Taylor had three interceptions, so that may not be the best indicator.
FINAL RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. New England - You can say the "D" word now
2. Philadelphia - Learned some hard lessons
3. Pittsburgh - Should probably tank home field in the future
BOTTOM 3:
30. Cleveland - Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Oh.
31. Miami - So many holes
32. San Francisco - Mike Nolan? Really?
Sunday, February 6, 2005
The Pick Rant
First, I'd like to remind everyone that I CALLED THIS.
And here it is.
Patriots 24, Eagles 16
But I've accepted that. I'm OK with that. Well, I'm not OK with it, but you know what I mean. I feel bad, though -- like I'm being a bad fan by going that way. I want them to win, but I just can't see it happening.
My real issue is with some of the other predictions I've seen for this game. I've seen people on TV pick the Pats to score 35, 34, 38, 45 points (the over/under's only 48, folks), and I have to wonder if they've watched any Eagles games this year. Or any Patriots games, for that matter.
The only team that allowed fewer points during the season than the Patriots and Eagles (260 apiece) is Pittsburgh. And that's with no one even mentioning the Eagles' defense, which has the best (active) secondary in the league, had the second-most sacks in the league, and a run defense that improved markedly after Trotter was made a starter following the Steelers game. The Freak may have a field day with the poor sap who's filling in at right tackle for the Pats. The Patriots are not going to blow them off the field, and anyone who thinks they are needs to tell me who their weed man is. The Eagles only gave up more than 21 points twice, and one of them didn't matter (the phoned-in finale against the Bengals) These Eagles aren't the Chargers in 29 or the Falcons in 33 -- inferior teams that had no business being there in the first place and knew it.
The thing is, the Patriots are simply better. They're not "we're going to go over the top and win with the deep ball" better -- they're just better. They do everything right. They don't make mistakes or turn the ball over. They've got a few great players and a lot of good ones. They ALWAYS score first. (Seriously, look it up. It's uncanny.) The Eagles haven't faced a team this good all year, and they won't face one this good next year either unless they get back to the Super Bowl and either 1) play the Pats again, or 2) the Colts finally figure out how to beat them.
The Eagles CAN win this game. (And if they do, I'm thinking a kick return of some kind will have played a huge role.) If this were a best-of-seven it'd probably go six or seven. But it's not. And they won't. And that makes me sad.
And here it is.
Patriots 24, Eagles 16
But I've accepted that. I'm OK with that. Well, I'm not OK with it, but you know what I mean. I feel bad, though -- like I'm being a bad fan by going that way. I want them to win, but I just can't see it happening.
My real issue is with some of the other predictions I've seen for this game. I've seen people on TV pick the Pats to score 35, 34, 38, 45 points (the over/under's only 48, folks), and I have to wonder if they've watched any Eagles games this year. Or any Patriots games, for that matter.
The only team that allowed fewer points during the season than the Patriots and Eagles (260 apiece) is Pittsburgh. And that's with no one even mentioning the Eagles' defense, which has the best (active) secondary in the league, had the second-most sacks in the league, and a run defense that improved markedly after Trotter was made a starter following the Steelers game. The Freak may have a field day with the poor sap who's filling in at right tackle for the Pats. The Patriots are not going to blow them off the field, and anyone who thinks they are needs to tell me who their weed man is. The Eagles only gave up more than 21 points twice, and one of them didn't matter (the phoned-in finale against the Bengals) These Eagles aren't the Chargers in 29 or the Falcons in 33 -- inferior teams that had no business being there in the first place and knew it.
The thing is, the Patriots are simply better. They're not "we're going to go over the top and win with the deep ball" better -- they're just better. They do everything right. They don't make mistakes or turn the ball over. They've got a few great players and a lot of good ones. They ALWAYS score first. (Seriously, look it up. It's uncanny.) The Eagles haven't faced a team this good all year, and they won't face one this good next year either unless they get back to the Super Bowl and either 1) play the Pats again, or 2) the Colts finally figure out how to beat them.
The Eagles CAN win this game. (And if they do, I'm thinking a kick return of some kind will have played a huge role.) If this were a best-of-seven it'd probably go six or seven. But it's not. And they won't. And that makes me sad.
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
Forgive Me, I'm New Here
I want the Super Bowl to start.
And when I say that, I don't mean that in the sense that I'm so excited that I can't wait for the game to start, even though that's true. I mean that in the sense that I want the game to start because I can't take any more of people talking about the game.
I couldn't figure out why at first. It's not the two weeks between the championship games and the Super Bowl that's doing this, because we've had a ton of those before and I've never had this problem. Well, I shouldn't say that. It's never been this bad, is probably what I really mean.
In a way, I think it's my job. When you're literally swimming in sports for eight hours a day like I am, you read and see everything. You're inundated. You're exposed to so much information and analysis you feel like you know everything and nothing at the same time. If that's possible. And then it all starts running together. I'm not a big pre-game guy anyway, and this has been like a two-week long pre-game show.
But mostly it's because the Eagles are in it. So I can't get away from it. You have to remember it's been 24 years. I don't remember when they were there the last time. I work with people who hadn't even been born the last time. So I feel like I need to keep up and be informed with all of this stuff even though I can't take any more of it. It's too much and yet it's not enough.
Having said all that, I'll have my analysis later in the week. Let's just say that some of the predictions I've been seeing and hearing are downright ludicrous. And I'm not saying that just because I'm biased.
And when I say that, I don't mean that in the sense that I'm so excited that I can't wait for the game to start, even though that's true. I mean that in the sense that I want the game to start because I can't take any more of people talking about the game.
I couldn't figure out why at first. It's not the two weeks between the championship games and the Super Bowl that's doing this, because we've had a ton of those before and I've never had this problem. Well, I shouldn't say that. It's never been this bad, is probably what I really mean.
In a way, I think it's my job. When you're literally swimming in sports for eight hours a day like I am, you read and see everything. You're inundated. You're exposed to so much information and analysis you feel like you know everything and nothing at the same time. If that's possible. And then it all starts running together. I'm not a big pre-game guy anyway, and this has been like a two-week long pre-game show.
But mostly it's because the Eagles are in it. So I can't get away from it. You have to remember it's been 24 years. I don't remember when they were there the last time. I work with people who hadn't even been born the last time. So I feel like I need to keep up and be informed with all of this stuff even though I can't take any more of it. It's too much and yet it's not enough.
Having said all that, I'll have my analysis later in the week. Let's just say that some of the predictions I've been seeing and hearing are downright ludicrous. And I'm not saying that just because I'm biased.
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