Thursday, February 6, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Glittering Prizes and Endless Compromises

Vikings get the ball first and it looks like both Diggs and Thielen are playing. Garoppolo makes a really good throw to Sanders in traffic. Just dropped it in there. Why is Barr covering him? Sanders again. Garoppolo to Kittle to the Vikings' 4. Touchdown Bourne! Vikings doing a lot more short passing and less Cook running than I figured. Touchdown Diggs! 41 yards on 3rd and 2! That may have been a setup. Tied at 7.


Bourne comes back and makes a diving catch on a ball that kind of flopped out of there. Oh, Garoppolo got hit, that's what happened. 3rd and 19 becomes 3rd and 24. Cousins gets sacked at the 3. Shot of the Candlestick Park site, which is currently a field of dirt. Like, there's nothing there. MetLife Headquarters Stadium is closer to NYC than Levi's is to San Francisco. Samuel pushes his way through three tacklers to convert 3rd and 12.


Then he takes a reverse, but fumbles! Vikings have it. Wait, his knee's down. This gets overturned. Coleman goes up the middle to convert 2nd and 3. Samuel to the 1! Garoppolo sneak doesn't work. Coleman punches it in. "Limelight" into a commercial break. RIP, Neil. Kendricks intercepts Garoppolo!


Is there a big difference between zero playoff starts (Garoppolo) and two (Cousins)? Cousins misses Diggs on the sideline. Bailey just gets it inside the left upright. 14-10 Niners. Fast half. 49ers get good protection and Bourne reaches up to make a big catch for 21 yards. Field goal is good. Sherman picks off Cousins! That's on Thielen. Why did he stop? That blindside block by Bosa might be the flag here. Oh, it was after the interception, so it's still 49ers ball.


49ers have run the ball this entire drive, the opposite of their first one. Touchdown Coleman, his second one today.





Sherels muffs the punt and the 49ers have it! Collinsworth points out that he almost lost one earlier. Third quarter ends with one pass attempt by the 49ers.


Shovel pass to Kittle fools no one. Gould makes it 27-10. Cousins pass gets deflected to his center. Bosa sacks Cousins but stays down for a minute or two. Now he's up. This is exactly the kind of game the Vikings didn't want — they can't run the ball and they're not stopping the 49ers' run game.


49ers desperately trying to draw the Vikings offside here. It won't work. FUMBLE? It is. Cousins gets sacked two MORE times. Good job, everyone. (49ers 27, Vikings 10)




Congrats, Coach. Ravens win the toss and defer. Not the start the Titans wanted. Ingram back for the Ravens. Jackson takes off for nine. Gus Edwards can also run. Pass is tipped and intercepted by Kevin Byard! They get Jackson for a face mask (which Eagle incorrectly calls a horse-collar) on Byard on the return. I don't even see a face mask there. Tannehill takes off. Is he in? This catch is close.



Fouts: "Can you split cheeks?" It's a wild catch regardless.




Touchdown Titans! Ravens get stopped on 3rd and 1 for the first time this season. They got for it and get stopped AGAIN! Tannehill with a bomb to someone names Khalif Raymond for a touchdown! 14-0 and... yeah. Lot of Rush fans among the network DJ's, apparently — that was a bit of "Tom Sawyer" going into the break. This isn't what the Ravens wanted. Williams punks Henry for a four-yard loss. Ravens get pinned deep. Hollywood gets open in the zone and crosses midfield. Andrews with a catch. Snead drops it.




Tucker is good from 49. Henry finds a hole, then stiff-arms Earl Thomas twice. The Ravens are completely out of sorts — DeAnthony Thomas blocked a guy after calling for a fair catch on this punt, which is a penalty, then they can't get a first down play called. Ingram on the sideline with his calf wrapped. Sack. Seth Roberts gets hit hard but makes the catch on third down, then crawls to the sideline. Jackson scrambles for a first down. That's a potentially costly sack. Brown CAUGHT THAT? HOW? One-handed, surrounded, and got hit right afterwards. Jackson throws it away just in time. Field goal is good. 14-6 at halftime and things are testy. Does Jackson get this first down? There he goes! And then he just outruns people.




Ravens going for it on 4th and 1 from the Titans 17. Sneak is stopped AGAIN! Jackson went right, then tried to go back to the center and neither worked. Henry TAKES OFF! Marcus Peters runs him down but he's inside the 5. Mariota? DERRICK HENRY JUMP PASS. TOUCHDOWN TITANS.






That's the first touchdown pass by a running back in the playoffs since... 1987? Jackson gets hit from behind and fumbles! Titans ball! Brown curls back inside after the catch to get a first down. Quick break to fix Pylon Cam. Tannehill fakes a pitch, hesitates, cuts back inside and dives into the end zone.



That feels daggerish. Ravens putting together a drive here. Or... or not. That's a bad decision by Jackson. Yeah, this is probably over.






Right, Pablo? Fouts wants the Ravens to hurry up. Touchdown to Hurst. Two-point conversion fails. Jackson to Snead! Jackson starting to string some completions together. Big run by Jackson but the Ravens are running out of time. Jackson hits Hurst right in the logo on the neck of his jersey. He did not catch it. That one stings 'cause it's probably a touchdown. Incomplete for Andrews and that is that.



There's a lot of justified dragging of Adam Gase because Tannehill got shipped out and is now in a conference title game. Let's not let Joe Philbin off the hook, either. Although I would never have pegged Mike Vrabel as the guy to get to a conference title game with him at quarterback. Or anyone else, for that matter. (Titans 28, Ravens 12)



Texans up first. Fuller back, and Nantz notes that Duke Johnson is in on the first snap instead of Carlos Hyde. STILLS! TOUCHDOWN!! No Chiefs defender even on screen. Romo's really good at this stuff. Chiefs bit on a bubble screen and Watson went up top. 7-0 already. Kelce flat-out drops one on 3rd and 6. BLOCKED PUNT! TOUCHDOWN!! Is this last night's game again?



Kelce makes a catch over the middle for a first down. Robinson with a drop on third down. Johnson breaks two tackles and picks up a first down for the Texans. Watson runs left for seven yards. Chiefs come through with a sack. Tyreek Hill back to field this punt? FUMBLE! TEXANS RECOVER. Nantz is surprised Hill didn't fair-catch it. Touchdown Fells, and Nantz had said the Texans love using him down by the goal line. 21-0 and dear fucking God.



Hardman mishandles the kickoff but regathers himself. Robinson misses another catch. Hill gets laid out by Justin Reid on a high ball on third down. Even the mascots are feeling pain. Do we really need the Pro Bowl in Spanish? Stills to the Chiefs' 20. Watson flips one to Johnson, who come sup just short of a first down. Texans keep the offense out on 4th and short... and the Chiefs call time out. They send out the kicking unit and it's good. Hardman! They rule him out at the Texans' 42 but that return was massive. Kelce with a big play to the 20. Mahomes guns one to Damian Williams for a touchdown! That time out Andy called may have saved this game. Chiefs then get a stop. FAKE PUNT? NO! The Chiefs stop it! I don't get running that from your own 30. Another Chiefs drop. That's five already. Who do they think they are, the Eagles? Touchdown Kelce! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING? Carter fumbled the kickoff and it's Chiefs' ball at the 6! Mahomes rolls right on third down and finds Kelce for a touchdown! There were three  Texans in the area at the 2-yard line and not ONE of them tried to tackle him. In a span of 3:24, this went from 24-0 to 24-21. (The over/under line at kickoff was 50.5.)



Honey Badger all over Hopkins here. Texans punt. Hill gets free for 15. (And somehow didn't get touched down.) MAHOMES RUNNING. Reverse gets blown up. Kelce asserting himself. Another Mahomes run to the Texans 5. Watt catching his breath. This shouldn't count — Mahomes was past the line of scrimmage. That's very close. Call STANDS. Touchdown and the Chiefs, somehow, lead.



He's only the second player with four touchdown passes in a quarter. Look at how close that was!







Watson comes right back with a long ball to Hopkins at the Chiefs' 40. 19 seconds left. Watson gets out of bounds with three seconds left. Kick is wide right. What's terrifying is that with Mike McCarthy now with the Cowboys, I'm not sure O'Brien's the worst game-day coach in the state of Texas. Second half starts with Hopkins jogging to the locker room. Big play to Watkins, but will it stand? Yes! Mahomes dives out of bounds and... gets the first down? Huh. First and goal at the 1. Damian Williams scores! Nantz points out that this is five touchdowns in 12 minutes of game time. Extra point MISSES. Texans have almost completely shut down.



Kelce still making plays. Watkins takes a handoff for 10. Hill draws an interference call as he tows Roby (who was grabbing his jersey) ten yards downfield. Another Texans penalty on third down gives the Chiefs first and goal from the 5, and Williams scores on the next play. 41. Unanswered. Nice sideline catch by Hopkins! Stills wide receiver pass doesn't come off, and his knee is down. Watson to Fuller to the 5! Watson leaps over the pylon for an apparent touchdown, as the ball comes out afterwards. Call stands. Blake Bell? Blake Bell!



Yes, yes, an inside handoff down 17. Good idea, Texans. Mathieu drops a pick in the end zone. Watson throws high on 4th and 4 and the Chiefs take over with 11:37 left. Williams with a big run to the 12. Field goal is good and it's 51-31. Frank Clark's been disrupting the Texans all game.



Is this game a fireable offense? (Chiefs 51, Texans 31)

"It's cold." Big run by Jones to start. Getting our Jimmy Graham sighting out of the way early, I see. That's a good throw. Touchdown Adams. That's a fumble. That should be Packers ball. What the hell, refs. Seahawks end up punting. Lazard gets flagged for OPI. McDougald tackles Williams or he may have scored. Packers punt. Not much of a hold if Lockett still gets wide open down the sideline, is it? Field goal is good. Adams makes a catch in Seahawks territory. Adams again, and he breaks a tackle after making the initial catch. Is anyone but Adams going to catch a pass today? Ah, there's Valdes-Scantling. Jones run gets called back by an illegal block.



That's pass interference on somebody. Refs decide it's defensive. Seahawks not helping themselves with flags here. Jones dives and it's ruled a touchdown. Man, I don't know. Maybe before he got turned over? I can't overturn this. Confirmed? Suuuure. 14-3.



History highlights include Matt Hasselbeck's boast (and subsequent pick-six), the Fail Mary, and some other things. Wilson finds Lockett down the seam. Sack! Myers tries a 50-yarder. No good. This Ervin kid only gets about four snaps a game but he's quick. Jones collides with Lazard and Wagner's back. Clowney gets flagged for "grabbing the helmet opening", which I didn't know was a specific thing. Jones bursts through a hole for another first down. They actually call him down half a yard short. Rodgers sneak gets it. Things starting to get testy. Jones scores after what seems like five tries. Don't get this scramble by Russ with no time outs. This ends as predicted. 21-3 Pack at the half. They do the "let's surprise a host with a Hall of Fame announcement" with Jimmy Johnson at halftime. I've never seen him this emotional. Cut to Aikman tearing up in the booth. That ENTIRE SHOW is in the Hall of Fame. That's crazy.



Wilson takes off. Metcalf reels in a high throw and gets into the red zone. Seahawks pass on 4th and 1 and Lockett takes it to the half-yard line. Lynch dives into the end zone. Jimmy Graham again. Adams outruns everyone for a touchdown! That was all him — the throw was high and he brought it down, then he made two moves and that was that. Z. Smith came across so early I was almost sure he was drawn off. (He was not.) Russ got lucky that Luke Willson was there.




I... guess that didn't hit the ground? Touchdown Lockett, apparently. FOX completes the weekend trifecta with "Spirit of Radio."



The Packers may have to keep scoring points. Wagner knocks down Rodgers' third-down throw. Wilson gets a free play and throws up a floater that Lockett catches. He takes a hit from King in the process. Russ pitches it to Luke Willson, then goes downfield to Hollister. THEN he finds Homer all alone on the sideline for first and goal at the 5. Preston Smith down. Lynch to the 1. Touchdown! Gotta go for two here. Alexander blitzes and buries Wilson. Rodgers slides, and we'll add 15 yards to that. "Yellow weasel?" OK. Sack forces a punt with 5:30 left.




Packers using the false start on fourth down stunt. Big sack by Preston Smith on 3rd and 5! Punt goes into the end zone.



Clowney chases Rodgers out of the pocket and he has to throw it away, stopping the clock. ADAMS!! That's a fantastic throw. Seahawks blitz on third down but the Packers hold and Rodgers finds Graham for another first down They're reviewing the spot, it looks like. Again, there's not enough there to change this call. First down! That's it. "Additional footage"? What could that possibly mean? And why mention it? (Packers 28, Seahawks 23)
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