One vacation.
One night.
Two leagues.
Two drafts. One starting 30 minutes after the other, even. I'm not 100% sure I can recommend this.
After two years of, frankly, dismal showings all around, I'm ready for a comeback to reclaim my mediocre-at-best turf, and Sunday night was when the seeds were planted.
This'll be my seventh year in the aPa league, which Ska said has been running for 10 years now. It's a little smaller than it's been in past years - 24 teams this time around instead of 26. But we're still doing the separate leagues with an overall championship at the end. We do serpentine draft order, and I got the 6/7 spot, right smack in the middle.
Being off on Sunday, I figured I'd actually show up for the drafts for the first time in several years, which hasn't gone all that well in the past. But I feel good about the aPa version of the New Jersey Seagulls:
Round 1: QB Drew Brees - I actually missed myself making this pick since by the time I got into Yahoo (8:03, mind you), the second round had already started. Seriously, that may have been the fastest first round in league history. Anyway, as to the pick, I'd have done the same thing. Brees has turned into a fantasy beast in New Orleans, and this year should be no exception, especially given the way our scoring system values quarterbacks.
Round 2: WR Andre Johnson - Remember how last year everyone, including me, finally realized just how good Larry Fitzgerald was? I feel like Johnson's the next guy that football fans will see and go, "Whoa!" Dude caught 115 balls last year.
Round 3: RB Ronnie Brown - Had Jet not taken Reggie Bush right before me, he would've been the pick because he's huge in our scoring system and I think the hype around Pierre Thomas is mostly that. As for Brown, he's the Dolphins' best offensive player and was the first guy to become really dangerous in the Wildcat.
Round 4: RB Willie Parker - I'm expecting a bounce-back year from the Steelers' speedster even with Rashard Mendenhall healthy and searching for a role in the offense.
Round 5: TE Dallas Clark - Tight ends went a little earlier than usual this year. A few years ago I said the new pass defense rules would really help tight ends and that's borne out. Even with all the guys the Colts have, Clark still gets his. I thought about DeSean Jackson in this spot but passed, and he ended up going two picks before I chose...
Round 6: WR Hines Ward - Another Steeler. He's still the main man in Pittsburgh's passing attack.
By about this time it was 8:30 and time for Rob's JackSux draft to start. The name is an homage to his long-ago former place of employment, and it's the sixth season on Yahoo and eighth overall. He wasn't there, but he was texting his younger brother throughout the night. The last few years we've had eight teams, and I got the same relative draft spot as in the aPa league - the 4/5 slot. We had 16 rounds this year.
Round 1: RB Michael Turner - "The Burner" will still be the focal point of the possibly still-resurgent Falcons' attack. I thought about Brees here but passed.
Round 7: RB Willis McGahee - Third running back.
Round 2: QB Peyton Manning - Not only do I not predict a drop-off, but I wouldn't put it past Peyton to have been sandbagging everyone throughout minicamp season with his "worries" about the offensive changes.
Round 8: Time for backups! QB Carson Palmer - Yes, really. Though I'm still convinced he was freezing out Chad last season (before he got hurt again) 85's antics are somewhat to blame for his plummet to the eighth round and backup status.
Round 3: WR Reggie Wayne - Daily double! Had an off year by his standards last year, but is now officially the lead dog in the Colts' passing game.
Round 9: TE Greg Olsen - The good news for this guy is the Bears finally have a quarterback but still no wide receivers. People have been waiting for him to break out, and reports are he has great chemistry with Cutler.
Round 4: WR Wes Welker - I feel like this guy's rise from "useful return specialist" to "actually had more catches than Randy Moss during the Pats' undefeated run to the Super Bowl" hasn't been talked about enough. He's the evolutionary Wayne Chrebet.
Round 10: WR Deion Branch - Who knows with this guy anymore. If he's right he's probably my main flex guy. If not, he's bench fodder.
Round 5: RB Joseph Addai - Daily... triple? I have an awful lot of Colts. I got stuck on this pick for a while trying to decide between about five guys. It hurts my flexibility a little but I'll deal with it.
Round 11: Minnesota DEF/ST. - Hopefully kick coverage won't count against me.
Round 6: TE Tony Gonzalez - Starting over in Atlanta, he'll give Matt Ryan an end-zone threat.
Round 12: K Ryan Longwell - Dome kicker!
Round 7: QB Donovan McNabb - Obligatory homer pick who can step in if it turns out Peyton was telling the truth. He'd be happy to know I drafted him one spot ahead of Terrell Owens, who I wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole this season. Seriously, I don't trust him AT ALL.
Round 13: WR Kevin Curtis - Obligatory homer pick.
Round 8: WR Anthony Gonzalez - Seriously, I'd better hope the Colts will be all right. Fun note: I have both Tony and Anthony Gonzalez.
Round 14: RB Justin Fargas - We really are down in the dregs now.
Round 9: RB Willie Parker - Really? I just realized I got him five rounds later than I did in the aPa draft.
Round 15: WR Davone Bess - Who? I dunno. He's a second-year guy on the Dolphins who some pundits seem to like.
I really like my running back depth, which you absolutely have to have in this league. Palmer could be a potential steal in the 8th round if everything breaks right for the Bengals' offense. I expect Branch and Curtis to bounce back to give me serviceable WR depth.
Round 10: K Ryan Longwell - Yes, again.
Round 11: WR DeSean Jackson - Could have a bigger year as a receiver this season.
Round 12: San Diego DEF/ST - Shawne Merriman's back. That's all you need to know. I actually almost took Seagulls mainstay Chris Cooley here (and probably should've, since I don't have a backup TE and Rob's brother snagged him with the next pick.)
Round 13: WR Laveranues Coles - Another long-time Seagull who's helped me out for years. Will be interesting to see how he does in his new home at the Ochocinco Circus.
Round 14: RB Darren Sproles - Return yards! Plus if Tomlinson really is washed up he immediately becomes the guy.
Round 15: WR Steve Breaston - More return yards!
Round 16: WR Donald Driver - Potentially great value in this spot.
A good overall squad, I think. I may have some bye-week issues, having so many sets of teammates, but I've got a lot of proven fantasy talent and a few rising studs with breakout potential.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
An Open Letter to Michael Vick
Dear Michael,
I'm going to cut right to the chase.
Being an Eagles fan has never been easy. And you showing up has just made it that much harder.
See, Philadelphia sports fans have a reputation for being... shall we say... overly tough on our teams, the opposing teams, the opposing fans and anyone dumb enough to tick us off while they're in the process of being tough on the aforementioned groups. We're loud, we're passionate, we're, at times, overly boisterous, and we truly do not care what the rest of the sports world thinks about us.
And now we're fans of the team that brought you back into the NFL. Which might change that 'we don't care what the rest of the sports world thinks about us' bit.
When I first heard that you'd signed with the Eagles on Thursday night, my immediate reaction was, "WHAT?! This doesn't make any sense!" After four days of reflection, that's still sort of my reaction. Everybody immediately said "Wildcat!" as the news started spreading, but we ran the Wildcat last year sporadically and without you. We had DeSean Jackson in the backfield slot. We can do Wildcat stuff with Donovan. We don't need you to do that.
Look, from a football standpoint, there's a non-zero chance that this won't even work. You haven't played in two years. You're not in football shape. You play the most difficult and demanding position on the field. You're doing it in a system that may be the worst possible fit for your skill set and it happens to also be a system you haven't had a whole lot of statistical success in.
And frankly, Mike, if you were looking for a place where you could get a lot of playing time and fast-track your playing career, this wasn't it. There are other teams out there that didn't dismiss the possibility of bringing you in even if they didn't come out and say they were interested. There were some teams that, frankly, you'd be a massive upgrade at the quarterback position if you'd joined them. And, of course, there was always the fledgling UFL, where you were guaranteed a spot and would easily be the biggest name on their marquee. Here, you're a backup. A situational guy at best. And if you ever become more than that while you're here, then something's gone horribly wrong and you're going to be under more pressure than you've ever faced on a football field.
Oh, and if all that wasn't enough, there's also the elephant in the room known as your dogfighting conviction.
I'm about to tell you something that I'm sure you know by now: People love dogs. Dogs and horses are the world's favorite animals; I've always believed that. I grew up with three dogs; more than half my life has been spent with a dog in the household.
The things you did were horrific, Mike. I don't need to rehash the sordid details for the 2,513,467th time because I'm going to be sick. But ultimately, you didn't get away with it. You spent 18 months in jail, some of that in Leavenworth, one of the few prisons in the world that's known by its name. You spent five more months in federal custody at a halfway house. While that was going on, you lost your multi-million dollar contract and all of your corporate endorsement deals. You had to pay for the rehabilitation of the dogs they were able to rescue, and not all of them came out the other side. You had to file for bankruptcy. Your personal reputation was left in shambles.
You finished out your sentence. You're back out in society and you have the right to provide for yourself and your family and loved ones.
I'm willing to accept that, Mike. But not everyone is, or ever will be.
See, when you think of all the bad things that have happened in the sports world - cheating scandals, drunk driving fatalities, assaults, attempted murders, actual murders - I'm only slightly surprised that there's so much outrage over what you did.
Part of it is because there's really nothing that we can compare this to.
And part of it is because you're a professional athlete who made a lot of money.
The harsh truth is that if you were a mortgage broker or a commercial fisherman or drove a UPS truck, I wouldn't be writing this letter because nobody would know who you were or that this had even happened. But the fact is you're a professional athlete who was in the spotlight and you decided to throw away two years of your life and over $100 million in contract money and endorsements over this foolishness.
It just doesn't make sense. Even to the people who are willing to forgive and/or forget.
People are rooting against you, Mike. Don't ever think otherwise. There are people out there who don't believe you should get another chance to succeed. There are people out there who want to see you fail on the field. There are people out there who don't think you can stay on the straight and narrow off the field. Even the people who aren't actively against you will be watching you at all times. You will be held accountable not only by Eagles fans, but the media, the Humane Society and the SPCA among numerous others. Believe me when I tell you that your margin for error is slimmer than the thinnest piece of sashimi at Morimoto. Sliced in half again.
It's not all gloom and doom. Remember earlier when I said that I thought you were redeemable? It doesn't really matter whether I think that or not. The good news for you is that I'm not the only one. For the first time in what I feel like is a long time, you've got people in your corner who are actually going to look out for your best interests, set a good example, and teach you some of the things about responsibility and integrity that you should have learned a long time ago but didn't. They've put their necks on the line for you here, and I honestly believe that if you're serious about being a force for positive change, of helping spread awareness and discouraging people from dogfighting, that'll get you bigger cheers than any 80-yard pass you throw or any 60-yard run you break. It should, at least.
Here's the rub, though: None of those people are going to determine whether this works or not. There's only one person who controls that.
That person would be you, Michael Vick.
Good luck. You're going to need it.
Sincerely,
Matthew Spaulding
I'm going to cut right to the chase.
Being an Eagles fan has never been easy. And you showing up has just made it that much harder.
See, Philadelphia sports fans have a reputation for being... shall we say... overly tough on our teams, the opposing teams, the opposing fans and anyone dumb enough to tick us off while they're in the process of being tough on the aforementioned groups. We're loud, we're passionate, we're, at times, overly boisterous, and we truly do not care what the rest of the sports world thinks about us.
And now we're fans of the team that brought you back into the NFL. Which might change that 'we don't care what the rest of the sports world thinks about us' bit.
When I first heard that you'd signed with the Eagles on Thursday night, my immediate reaction was, "WHAT?! This doesn't make any sense!" After four days of reflection, that's still sort of my reaction. Everybody immediately said "Wildcat!" as the news started spreading, but we ran the Wildcat last year sporadically and without you. We had DeSean Jackson in the backfield slot. We can do Wildcat stuff with Donovan. We don't need you to do that.
Look, from a football standpoint, there's a non-zero chance that this won't even work. You haven't played in two years. You're not in football shape. You play the most difficult and demanding position on the field. You're doing it in a system that may be the worst possible fit for your skill set and it happens to also be a system you haven't had a whole lot of statistical success in.
And frankly, Mike, if you were looking for a place where you could get a lot of playing time and fast-track your playing career, this wasn't it. There are other teams out there that didn't dismiss the possibility of bringing you in even if they didn't come out and say they were interested. There were some teams that, frankly, you'd be a massive upgrade at the quarterback position if you'd joined them. And, of course, there was always the fledgling UFL, where you were guaranteed a spot and would easily be the biggest name on their marquee. Here, you're a backup. A situational guy at best. And if you ever become more than that while you're here, then something's gone horribly wrong and you're going to be under more pressure than you've ever faced on a football field.
Oh, and if all that wasn't enough, there's also the elephant in the room known as your dogfighting conviction.
I'm about to tell you something that I'm sure you know by now: People love dogs. Dogs and horses are the world's favorite animals; I've always believed that. I grew up with three dogs; more than half my life has been spent with a dog in the household.
The things you did were horrific, Mike. I don't need to rehash the sordid details for the 2,513,467th time because I'm going to be sick. But ultimately, you didn't get away with it. You spent 18 months in jail, some of that in Leavenworth, one of the few prisons in the world that's known by its name. You spent five more months in federal custody at a halfway house. While that was going on, you lost your multi-million dollar contract and all of your corporate endorsement deals. You had to pay for the rehabilitation of the dogs they were able to rescue, and not all of them came out the other side. You had to file for bankruptcy. Your personal reputation was left in shambles.
You finished out your sentence. You're back out in society and you have the right to provide for yourself and your family and loved ones.
I'm willing to accept that, Mike. But not everyone is, or ever will be.
See, when you think of all the bad things that have happened in the sports world - cheating scandals, drunk driving fatalities, assaults, attempted murders, actual murders - I'm only slightly surprised that there's so much outrage over what you did.
Part of it is because there's really nothing that we can compare this to.
And part of it is because you're a professional athlete who made a lot of money.
The harsh truth is that if you were a mortgage broker or a commercial fisherman or drove a UPS truck, I wouldn't be writing this letter because nobody would know who you were or that this had even happened. But the fact is you're a professional athlete who was in the spotlight and you decided to throw away two years of your life and over $100 million in contract money and endorsements over this foolishness.
It just doesn't make sense. Even to the people who are willing to forgive and/or forget.
People are rooting against you, Mike. Don't ever think otherwise. There are people out there who don't believe you should get another chance to succeed. There are people out there who want to see you fail on the field. There are people out there who don't think you can stay on the straight and narrow off the field. Even the people who aren't actively against you will be watching you at all times. You will be held accountable not only by Eagles fans, but the media, the Humane Society and the SPCA among numerous others. Believe me when I tell you that your margin for error is slimmer than the thinnest piece of sashimi at Morimoto. Sliced in half again.
It's not all gloom and doom. Remember earlier when I said that I thought you were redeemable? It doesn't really matter whether I think that or not. The good news for you is that I'm not the only one. For the first time in what I feel like is a long time, you've got people in your corner who are actually going to look out for your best interests, set a good example, and teach you some of the things about responsibility and integrity that you should have learned a long time ago but didn't. They've put their necks on the line for you here, and I honestly believe that if you're serious about being a force for positive change, of helping spread awareness and discouraging people from dogfighting, that'll get you bigger cheers than any 80-yard pass you throw or any 60-yard run you break. It should, at least.
Here's the rub, though: None of those people are going to determine whether this works or not. There's only one person who controls that.
That person would be you, Michael Vick.
Good luck. You're going to need it.
Sincerely,
Matthew Spaulding
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The Summer of Electronic Armageddon
So I've been gone way too long. But I've got my reasons.
Let's go back to June 19th. I got home from work one night and I was watching TV when it shut off. On its own. I turned it back on and the volume started to max out. On its own. Then it started changing channels... you guessed it. ON ITS OWN. Efforts to exercise control with the remote were rebuffed with extreme prejudice. Finally I unplugged it and went to bed, baffled at what was going on.
The next day I plugged it back in. Same deal. So while it certainly wasn't in a vegetative state, it clearly wasn't capable of making rational decisions. I declare it dead and buy a new 26-inch flatscreen because it fits both my price range and my size range.
ONE WEEK LATER.
After getting a few too many blue screens of death over a period of three days, I started to panic and start my annual computer backup earlier than I normally would have. During the backup, I got another one.
And that one turned out to be the last one.
I don't remember how long I'd had that Dell desktop. Maybe since 2002? Did I move down here with it? Who knows. So I've just replaced my TV and now my computer's dead. (The wonderful irony here is that I had been considering for a while what kind of new computer I was going to get, maybe within the next year or so. We'll be coming back to this.)
So I went out the next day and bought a new laptop. Brought it home, went to work, came home and set it up. Couldn't connect to the Internet. Checked the cable, checked the modem, checked the connector cables. Nothing. After a combined hour or so on the phone with both the cable company and Dell support, it was decided that the laptop had a bad motherboard that wasn't recognizing anything that was trying to connect to the Internet.
Which meant that they'd have to replace it. And I'd have to stuff it in a box and ship it to Mississippi or Indonesia or wherever. (It might have been Arkansas, actually. Let me check. The label says Houston but I doubt it was the final destination.) I also have a metric assload of boxes piling up in my apartment because of all this, added by my purchase of a small bargain-basement laptop just so I could keep everyone updated on my progress quickly.
Got the Dell back a week from that Monday (we're in the middle of July now) and after fighting with it some more, I figured out the other aspect of what had happened: The cable modem the cable company game me was so old ("How old WAS it?") that they'd stopped updating USB drivers for it about two years ago. Thankfully, that problem was easily solved with the purchase of an Ethernet cable, which the comp happily recognized and chugged its way onto the Internet.
The speed of this thing is mind-blowing. Seriously. Why didn't I upgrade sooner? ("Because you're a broke idiot.") Easy there. I'm not broke.
ANYway, you'd think that'd be it. But last week - last Thursday, actually - my dad tried to call me with the news that my mom had been laid off from her nursing job that she'd had for about as long as we've lived in New Jersey. I say "tried" because my phone was busy. And my phone was busy because there was a problem with the line.
Of course, I didn't find out about any of this until Dad e-mailed me the next day. I figured - and hoped - that maybe it was just the phone that I've had for close to 20 years breathing its last breaths. So on my break from work that night, I went and bought a new phone, which, again, I'd been telling myself I was going to do for a year or so and never got around to it.
Turned out the phone wasn't the problem.
Two aborted attempts to contact the phone company later and I had an appointment because their remote test couldn't determine if the problem was inside or outside the apartment and somebody would have to come look. In the meantime, I actually had to turn my cell phone on for a week straight. I drained the battery on it. That's happened maybe one other time since I've had it.
This was finally resolved today. The guy showed up at about 8:30 this morning (!) and pokes around inside and outside for a while before finding the problem: a short in the wiring. It's possible that something related to last week's thunderstorms had caused the wiring to short out, but the outside connector box was pretty old anyway (Aside: The next building I move into will be much, much newer than this one. I've had a toilet and water heater go down on my watch and now this.) and probably just conked out on its own. It was a surprisingly easy fix - of course, they're trained professionals - and he was on his way before 10 and I set up my new phone, alerted everyone, and went back to bed.
(Though, to be honest, the telemarketers? The static? Didn't miss any of that.)
Anyway, I'm back, and it's almost football season to boot, so TJD business will definitely be picking up. (Among other things, the JackSux 6 draft is Saturday unless it isn't anymore.)
P.S. - This has been my ringtone for the last week.
Let's go back to June 19th. I got home from work one night and I was watching TV when it shut off. On its own. I turned it back on and the volume started to max out. On its own. Then it started changing channels... you guessed it. ON ITS OWN. Efforts to exercise control with the remote were rebuffed with extreme prejudice. Finally I unplugged it and went to bed, baffled at what was going on.
The next day I plugged it back in. Same deal. So while it certainly wasn't in a vegetative state, it clearly wasn't capable of making rational decisions. I declare it dead and buy a new 26-inch flatscreen because it fits both my price range and my size range.
ONE WEEK LATER.
After getting a few too many blue screens of death over a period of three days, I started to panic and start my annual computer backup earlier than I normally would have. During the backup, I got another one.
And that one turned out to be the last one.
I don't remember how long I'd had that Dell desktop. Maybe since 2002? Did I move down here with it? Who knows. So I've just replaced my TV and now my computer's dead. (The wonderful irony here is that I had been considering for a while what kind of new computer I was going to get, maybe within the next year or so. We'll be coming back to this.)
So I went out the next day and bought a new laptop. Brought it home, went to work, came home and set it up. Couldn't connect to the Internet. Checked the cable, checked the modem, checked the connector cables. Nothing. After a combined hour or so on the phone with both the cable company and Dell support, it was decided that the laptop had a bad motherboard that wasn't recognizing anything that was trying to connect to the Internet.
Which meant that they'd have to replace it. And I'd have to stuff it in a box and ship it to Mississippi or Indonesia or wherever. (It might have been Arkansas, actually. Let me check. The label says Houston but I doubt it was the final destination.) I also have a metric assload of boxes piling up in my apartment because of all this, added by my purchase of a small bargain-basement laptop just so I could keep everyone updated on my progress quickly.
Got the Dell back a week from that Monday (we're in the middle of July now) and after fighting with it some more, I figured out the other aspect of what had happened: The cable modem the cable company game me was so old ("How old WAS it?") that they'd stopped updating USB drivers for it about two years ago. Thankfully, that problem was easily solved with the purchase of an Ethernet cable, which the comp happily recognized and chugged its way onto the Internet.
The speed of this thing is mind-blowing. Seriously. Why didn't I upgrade sooner? ("Because you're a broke idiot.") Easy there. I'm not broke.
ANYway, you'd think that'd be it. But last week - last Thursday, actually - my dad tried to call me with the news that my mom had been laid off from her nursing job that she'd had for about as long as we've lived in New Jersey. I say "tried" because my phone was busy. And my phone was busy because there was a problem with the line.
Of course, I didn't find out about any of this until Dad e-mailed me the next day. I figured - and hoped - that maybe it was just the phone that I've had for close to 20 years breathing its last breaths. So on my break from work that night, I went and bought a new phone, which, again, I'd been telling myself I was going to do for a year or so and never got around to it.
Turned out the phone wasn't the problem.
Two aborted attempts to contact the phone company later and I had an appointment because their remote test couldn't determine if the problem was inside or outside the apartment and somebody would have to come look. In the meantime, I actually had to turn my cell phone on for a week straight. I drained the battery on it. That's happened maybe one other time since I've had it.
This was finally resolved today. The guy showed up at about 8:30 this morning (!) and pokes around inside and outside for a while before finding the problem: a short in the wiring. It's possible that something related to last week's thunderstorms had caused the wiring to short out, but the outside connector box was pretty old anyway (Aside: The next building I move into will be much, much newer than this one. I've had a toilet and water heater go down on my watch and now this.) and probably just conked out on its own. It was a surprisingly easy fix - of course, they're trained professionals - and he was on his way before 10 and I set up my new phone, alerted everyone, and went back to bed.
(Though, to be honest, the telemarketers? The static? Didn't miss any of that.)
Anyway, I'm back, and it's almost football season to boot, so TJD business will definitely be picking up. (Among other things, the JackSux 6 draft is Saturday unless it isn't anymore.)
P.S. - This has been my ringtone for the last week.
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