In Which The Grapefruit Harvest Is Celebrated, The Body Count Rises, And "Bitchmade" Becomes A Verb
Give Dom Capers the "Vince McMahon Memorial Grapefruits Of The Year" Award. Now. Right now. Just do it. I will NOT argue about this.
"Welcome back to the NFL, Donovan." - from our paper's rEact Instant feedback. Now Troy's down? DAMN IT! Who's left? Can we get Herman Edwards back in uniform? He's pissed off enough to crack some skulls, I'm sure. Reid still hasn't lost after a bye week - didn't know that.
I'd just like to point out that the Redskins STILL haven't beaten a full-strength opponent. Anybody see the end of this one? I heard it was a string of comedic errors that would've made the Three Stooges proud.
So THAT'S where Gus Frerotte ended up. I honestly didn't know. This was better, but I'd like to see the Vikings play someone, y'know, good.
A lot of 49ers fans aren't going to want to hear this, but the biggest difference between last year's team and this year's team is that last year's team had a coach. Wasn't Erickson's vertical passing offense supposed to benefit T.O.? And I'll call it: The Lions will beat them this week.
BENGALS WIN! And it's still September!
Steve McNair. ONE incompletion. I believe that's 10 of the last 12 for the Titans over the Steelers. What's going on out there? Drew Bennett? Justin McCareins? Are you shitting me?
The best thing to do against the Chiefs is just kick the ball into the damn end zone. Mazlowski or somebody on the coverage team even said that if teams squib kick it (which I abhor, BTW) they'll just flip it back to Hall.
I don't - DO NOT - like the Cowboys being competitive again. The D already wasn't bad, and if Parcells can get Carter and Hambrick to not suck on a regular basis... uh-oh. This isn't good news for anyone.
Well, this was ENTIRELY too close. The Broncos missed Portis, but Shannon Sharpe has apparently rediscovered the end zone after about a two-year journey. If the Lions had anything resembling a defense (and that snap hadn't gone bad) they might have won this game. Coaching matters, kids, and don't you ever forget it.
Doug Johnson went to Florida. Stop looking so surprised.
Holy hell, the Chargers blew this one. When you get a chance to put the Raiders down for the count, you HAVE to take it. It only takes one play.
Re: Romanowski: Don't you have to have a brain to suffer concussions?
Ricky Williams helped burn the Saints AGAIN. No, not THAT Ricky Williams. It was 21-0 before I even realized Edge wasn't playing. Like Rob said, the Saints were already missing half their defense (including anybody who was any good) and then lost TWO MORE guys. I think the OTHER Edge could've gotten a TD or two on that crew. Yes, RIGHT NOW. Apparently they're going to spare us their annual late-season collapse by doing it in September this time around. Boy, am I glad we didn't hire Jim Haslett.
Favre, upon entry to Soldier Field Monday night: "You know, I may not have the zip on my fastball that I used to, and I may be a little slower and a little more beat up, and I may not have the best team around me, but you're the Chicago Bears. I have beaten you 18 out of 22 times. I have only lost twice in our last 19 meetings. So even though you've grafted half of a flying saucer to the outside of the stadium, I STILL RUN THIS SHIT." Quick quiz: Name five Bears. Quick quiz #2: Name five Bears that DON'T SUCK. Good GOD. They'd lose to Northern Illinois.
Fantasy report: No Portis, nothing from Bruce (against the CARDINALS? WTF) but I still beat Rosser like he owed me money. (Sorry.) 2-2 now. This week it's me vs. Wade. Gannon returns to the lineup, and Javon Walker steps into Bruce's bye spot.
TOP 3:
1. Kansas City - Girding for Broncos' visit
2. Indianapolis - Is that a DEFENSE I see?
3. Tennessee - McNair nearing Christ figure status
BOTTOM 3:
30. Cleveland - Well, so much for THAT
31. Jacksonville - KO'd by a set of brass ones. Is there a plan here?
32. Chicago - New-look stadium looks like it can lift off... and probably should
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