By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 7

In Which A Missed Opportunity Is Not Lamented, Special Teams Are Validated, And Lives Are Barely Spared

First off, a note to Butch: Yes, I know I forgot to make picks in Action! this week. It's just as well - I'd have gotten my ass kicked. For one, I wouldn't have picked Jon Kitna over the Ravens' defense if you put a gun to my head.

True story: 1:45 or so left in Eagles-Giants, and I've written it off. I hop in the car and go to the bank, putting the game on the radio for official purposes. Right before the punt, Merrill Reese says something to the effect of: "I have seen too many strange things happen in this stadium." Then Westbrook got the ball. When Merrill yelled "BRIAN WESTBROOK!" at the Giants' 30, I damn near drove off the road. The worst part about it for Giants fans was the Eagles were going for the block. Mind you, not a damn thing was solved, but 3-3 at this point is infintely better than 2-4. The Birds would be better served pulling back and becoming the rich man's Panthers at this point.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Parcells wasn't supposed to fix things this quickly. This is bad. This is very bad. Mariucci had the Line Of The Year in reference to Harrington's game QB rating of 7.12(?): "That's a hell of an earthquake."

Moss was all "I saw SOMEBODY" afterwards. Great stuff. Who are these new Vikings DBs and why are they good? The pinky finger's not meant to bend in that manner. Here's how far off the radar Danny Kanell was: He was playing independent baseball in Newark two years ago. I shit you not.

Well, that Cubs fan can cross south Florida off of his list of places to hide out. What happened with that coin toss? Doesn't the ref tell them which side is heads and which is tails?

So. What the hell do the Falcons do now?

Do McNair's stats even matter anymore?

You know how I've said in the past that linemen running with the football never gets old? Add "and old white quarterbacks" to that. Vinny scampering on the last Jets drive and Chandler's two-point scramble (I'm surprised his foot didn't fall off) - just great comedy.

OK, HOW long have I been saying that you can run on Tampa?

Fantasy Report: Poor Weeba. He started Tim Couch. I don't think anything more needs to be said. I picked up Jeff Blake late last week to compensate for Plummer's injury, and with Gannon's status up in the air after tonight... yeah. At least he'll throw a lot since they'll be behind early. I'm 3-4 now. Hey, Rob? YOU'RE NEXT.

At least the Raiders were smart enough to not kick to Hall.

TOP 3:
1. Kansas City - Scarily, Vermeil's right - they can play better
2. Minnesota - Only the second biggest surprise of the season
3. (tie) Indianapolis - A week off to refuel the machine
(tie) Dallas - *cries*

BOTTOM 3:
30. Arizona - Time to bring back those "Weakest Link" jokes
31. Atlanta - Also, defense is in shambles
32. Chicago - It's over. It's all over.