Tuesday, December 23, 2003

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 16

In Which Fears Are Realized, The Unthinkable Happens - Twice, And Respect Must Be Offered

Dan Reeves was likely sitting at home cursing the gods. Who gave the Falcons' secondary recognition and coverage ability? Vick colliding with Duckett and STILL getting the first down was just... wrong. Bye-bye, Bucs!

Randy, about the hair. Never again. NEVER. You looked like Diana Ross. Fortunately for the Vikes, the Chiefs' defense PLAYED like Diana Ross. What was this? This was being horribly exposed, that's what. I said at the beginning of the season that their secondary was still weak. What had been saving them was their ability to force turnovers, and they haven't been able to do that recently.

They have to lose at some point, right? Right?

Funny yet sad was watching Nantz call the end of Titans-Texans on the post-game show. Is there anything he doesn't do for that network? And in a related note, is there anything McNair can't do for his team? Anything?

Quincy having to ask Richie Anderson to help him dump the bucket on Parcells was the funniest thing I'd heard all day.

Hang on, I'm being handed a bulletin... the Cleveland Browns have just been purchased by a J. Lewis, 24 years old, born in Atlanta. There's a statement here... he says: "I don't plan on making ANY changes."

I decided that the first lateral was straight across the field and it was all gravy from there. Then... oh man. I heard someone say the hold was botched and that that had been a problem recently? But Carney had only missed five extra points in his whole CAREER. Think about that. Forget walking back to New Orleans; he and Mitch Berger (punter/holder) oughta head south to Cuba. In separate rafts.

Why isn't Tony Parrish in the Pro Bowl? This is going to sound weird, but I'm kinda glad they lost. Because the pressure of keeping up the streak is gone (do YOU think anybody's gonna win 15 in a row?) Emmons really was one of the unsung guys on this team - he'd cover tight ends, blitz, really did everything from that spot. T.O. had already cost himself even more money with those drops, and that may be the most underpublicized broken collarbone in history. I can't really criticize Erickson because he did what Parcells didn't do two weks ago and stuck with the run. Though this team should be better than their record. Then Akers goes and misses two field goals. What's going on here? Why isn't Tony Parrish in the Pro Bowl? Even more importantly, we may have just gotten a Rams-Pats rematch.

First Bad Jake showed up and gave the Colts the early advantage. Then Good Jake showed up and kicked his ass. "We're the Denver Broncos, and we make backs great." It's a strange time when the Broncos making the playoffs is a blip on the radar.

Brett Favre r00lz. That is all.

Fantasy Report: Well, I benched Bruce and hoped against hope Portis could go. He didn't. Plummer outplayed Manning, but Moss and Barlow were the difference as Nate beat me in the USFLaPa finals, 107-91 (rounding up.) He'll face Sven in the Bacardi Bowl. The scores from MNF haven't gone up yet, but I'm fairly certain that had I gone with my gut and started Javon Walker, I would've won. Oh well. To even make the finals after the horrific start my original core players had was an accomplishment in itself.

TOP 3:
1. New England - History's least imposing-looking juggernaut
2. St. Louis - Bulger still perfect in dome home
3. Tennessee - This one was way too close

BOTTOM 3:
30. Cleveland - This wasn't supposed to happen, was it?
31. San Diego - Sputtering to the finish
32. Arizona - Going nowhere slow

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