By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 10

In Which Our Commentator Uncovers A Conspiracy, The Opposite Of Insomnia Is Considered, And The Meek Say, "Fuck INHERITING. We TAKIN' This Shit."

How the hell did I manage to sleep through all the early games?

Berman pretty much nailed the Giants during their Prime Time highlights with this: "They're always nice, always well-dressed, just, the fly is down, sometimes." This happened last year and made just about as much sense (read: NONE) then. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Reeves said his grandkids asked him "What took you so long?" Fassel's damn near out of lives.

It's Rudi with an "I" for some reason. No matter. They win next week and Lewis:Cincinnati::Josh Beckett:South Florida. Hey, Corey! Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, you ungrateful bastard!

G Of The Year: Fred Taylor, Jacksonville Jaguars. Told the man he was gonna run him over, DID IT, and then turned around and looked at him. I haven't seen anything like that since Iverson stepped on Tyronn Lue in the Finals.

Will somebody please tell the Dolphins it's only November?

Giving up 12 to the Panthers the first time was expected. But 27? In the rematch? WITHOUT Davis? Wow. Just... wow. We'll know by the end of the month if a Panthers collapse is in the offing. I'm thinking not.

Coles was right - Spurrier would've gotten killed if that fourth down play had failed. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. And you have to win on the road if you want to get anywhere in this league.

Lookit the little old guy run! Lookit Kevin Williams get clowned by that juke! Did this team really start 6-0?

Well, I've found a worse group of wide receivers than the Eagles': the Baltimore Ravens. It's Travis Taylor and a bunch of guys whose names weren't even mentioned. Marshall Faulk! Nice to see you. When was the last time a team got so much out of so little? Hell, the Texans only got 24 points in that game against Pittsburgh last year. As unbelievable as this will sound, Boller's injury just opened the floodgates in that division. Redman looked like shite, and Wright's a No. 3 for a reason.

It's raining, it's pouring, and nobody can hold on to the ball. When Green wasn't fumbling, he was running through what's left of the Eagles' defensive line. I'm still shocked the Packers didn't challenge the McNabb touchdown. I actually supported the Eagles going for it on fourth down there; as I said in the office, "I have seen no indication that they're gonna get this close again." Going back and catching that floater was the first good thing Thrash has done all year. Duuuuuuuuce. Someone emailed the local post-game show complaining that they named Green Player of the Game. They're trying to kill me and I don't know why. I've been a loyal fan for over 20 years. I don't understand why they're doing this.

THIS JUST IN: Anybody else think there's more to the Kevin Johnson situation?

Fantasy Report: Two TDs each from Blake, Ward, and Faulk and this thing was over by 9:30. I'm now second of six teams at 5-5 and facing Brian next week. Plummer says he'll be back for this week's game against the Chargers, but damned if I know what to do. A side benefit to all the Packers' ball protection problems is that Butch finally won a game. Beating Scott's juggernaut, no less. Trading deadline is Friday; playoffs start in three weeks.

TOP 3:
1. Kansas City - Believe it or not, now it gets difficult
2. Tennessee - Titans catch break after romp over Fish
3. Carolina - Buried the Bucs? Maybe

BOTTOM 3:
30. San Diego - OK, now what?
31. Chicago - Another fire might be in order
32. Oakland - My God.