Sunday, February 26, 2023

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Seeing Red

I don't even know who's singing the anthem. Roof is OPEN.
Dak's laughing. He gets it.
When did they add "America the Beautiful" to this? Chris Stapleton got the anthem call this year, and he comes in at 2:05. Chiefs win the toss and defer. They've punched up the score bug. I don't remember the Eagles' fan presence being like this last time. Smith spins out of a tackle. Gainwell appears to score, but the refs rule that his elbow was down. Then Hurts sneaks it in anyway. Chopping up the "Any Given Sunday" "Inches'" speech was a choice. Chiefs' first pass is to Kelce for 20. Pacheco gets 20. Touchdown Kelce as Epps stumbles and Kelce ends up behind him.
Eagles go three and out. Figuring out how to make sure Kelce is covered at some point would be nice. Butker's kick THUDS off the upright! No good. A.J. slant ends the first quarter. And the second quarter begins with an A.J. bomb! Touchdown! Bradberry plays it tight and the Eagles force a punt. Pascal rescues Hurts on third and 8. Gainwell slips on the logo at midfield. Semualo gets called for a false start. Hurts loses the ball and Nick Bolton scoops it up and ties the game at 14!
Hurts throws deep but Brown's route takes him into double coverage. Hurts keeps it on fourth and 5 from the Chiefs' 45 and picks up 29.
Smith comes up limping after a short second-down catch. Eagles going for it again, this time on fourth and 2. The Chiefs jumped! AND they were lined up in the neutral zone.
Hurts keeps it and scores. Goodell siting with the Kelces' mom and Damar Hamlin. Chiefs false start. Edwards takes down Mahomes and HE gets up limping. Oh man, you can see on his face he's in pain.
Covey with his best return of the year. The Coors Light vs. Miller Lite tease ends up being a Blue Moon spot. Long ball to Smith, but the booth's gonna look at it. Nobody seems sure. After about four minutes, they rule it incomplete. Pereira doesn't love it.
Another slant to Brown, then he cuts back outside and gets out of bounds with 16 seconds left. Elliott hits from 35 and it's 24-14 Eagles at halftime.

I feel like it should be mandated that you open a Super Bowl halftime show with one of your three biggest hits. These floating stages are wild. She can do "All of the Lights" without Kanye. And apparently also "Run This Town" without Jay? "Diamonds in the Sky" feels like the closer. Pretty great for someone who hadn't made any new music for six years or so and just took a year off of creating a highly-regarded beauty line to have a kid... and is apparently having another one?

Mahomes comes out to start the second half. Kelce somehow pulls in a low pass from Mahomes. Mahomes gets flushed from the pocket but scrambles for 12 to the Eagles' 5. Touchdown Pacheco. That was a good series by the Chiefs' offensive line. Tom Rinaldi reports the Eagles have stacked up piles of new cleats because of how slippery the field seems to be. Sanders gets drilled and the ball comes loose, Bolton picks it up and runs it in. It's called a touchdown on the field, but the review reverses it. Goedert converts third and 6 for his first catch. Hurts throws long under pressure but Watkins can't bring it in. Goedert?!? There's a flag down on the next play. What's going on? A substitution situation? Now the Chiefs have challenged the Goedert catch.

I'm not seeing where Olsen thinks Goedert lost it. Call STANDS. Jesus. Bold choice bringing Tuco back for the Breaking Bad spot. And I was spoiled the Miles Teller Bud Light "On Hold" ad. (That's actually his wife, by the way.)
Scott gets stopped on a pitch but Hurts gets the sneak again. Chiefs get a stop and force a field goal.
Did Elliott go down on that kickoff? He DID. Pacheco running hard. Now JuJu has three catches in a row. Make it four. Chiefs at the Eagles' 6. Chiefs fool everyone and Kadarius Toney walks into the end zone. Chiefs take the lead.
Chiefs blitz on third down and the Eagles go three and out. And there's the special teams breakdown Eagles fans have been dreading all year. That's the longest punt return in Super Bowl history and the Chiefs are set up at the Eagles' 5. Now Moore's wide open for a touchdown and this game's over. Don't know why they're running the ball here. SMITH! Hurts punches it in! Eagles go for two, Hurts goes left and gets there! We're tied at 35!
Gardner-Johnson finally shows up and blasts Pacheco. He gets him again in the open field, but not before Pacheco gets another first down. 2:57 left.
Mahomes beats the pressure and runs for 20. He overthrows Smith-Shuster but they get Bradberry for holding. What? Seriously? The Eagles were going to let McKinnon score but he slides at the 1. I still don't see a hold.
Butker's kick is good with eight seconds left.
Hail Mary falls way short. This breaks the MVP Super Bowl curse.
The Eagles now hold the distinction of having scored the most points in a Super Bowl loss — a distinction formerly held by the Patriots when the Eagles beat them. Also: England's getting another visit from the champs, just like five years ago when the Eagles won. Did Bud Light pay Chad Henne to retire with a tall boy in his hands? Run it back on opening night? It could happen. (Chiefs 38, Eagles 35)
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