Tuesday, October 25, 2022

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: Leave It Alone

Look, I'm telling you right now, you're not gonna get a lot out of me for this one. The Bears are leaving points on the field for no good reason, while Wentz is again getting no protection from a bad offensive line and throwing into Bears defenders' helmets. I fear that Fields may just not be any good, either.



Hey, a field goal! Also, these orange Bears uniforms are repulsive.






Fields throws a touchdown and gets blown up. Bears muff a punt with 8:06 left and it's Washington ball at the Bears 10. Wentz throws a shoulder block against Roquan Smith. Touchdown Brian Robinson, who's back from getting shot. At least it's been a quick game. FIELDS SCRAMBLE! He's down to the 6! Oh my God this fourth down play. Mooney goes up for the pass, bobbles it, then catches it but the ball never breaks the plane. Commanders take over. That hurts.



He would have caught that last pass clean. Wentz is 7-0 on Thursday nights? Wild. (Commanders 12, Bears 7)

Signal Finder: NYJ @ GB, BAL @ NYG, BUF @ KC

Hey Giants, don't leave Mark Andrews open in the middle of the field. Lamar gets trapped in the pocket twice. Daboll challenging this Josh Oliver play. This might stand. It does. Deep ball gets broken up in the end zone. I've seen better offensive line play. Kenyan Drake lives? Touchdown Ravens.


That kickoff return was hot. Slayton! One of the biggest problems with the Giants' offense is that it's relying on the wrong guys. Slayton and Golladay (who is apparently still buried under the doghouse) should be playing more, and James and Sills should be playing much, much less. The wildcat has not worked at all so far today. Marcus Johnson can't corral a touchdown. Then WanDale Robinson shows him how it's done. Jones fumbles on a Hail Mary attempt to end the half. Ravens lead 10-7. Andrews uncharacteristically drops a touchdown and the Giants' can't get the deflection. Really, Charles? You didn't see dude get pulled down by his legs? Tucker makes it 13-7. Giants were facing fourth and short but a late unsprtsmanlike conduct flag gives them a first down. Jones waits too long and gets sacked. Gano makes it 13-10. Lamar does it himself. Drake getting all this run concerns me slightly. Touchdown Andrews. (Again, don't leave him open in the middle of the field.) This is one of Jones's best drives as a pro. I'm not even kidding. Daniel Bellinger? OK, whoever that is. Ravens trying to ice it. Interception! What a cursed sequence. The snap goes bad, Lamar tries to make a play, but he throws it into coverage.

Giants really need a touchdown here. Two minutes left. Jones is pressured and gets picked off, but there's a flag. Interference on Marcus Peters gives the Giants another shot. Barkley goes up and over for the touchdown! Lamar fumbles! Giants ball!

Barkley gets the first down and slides at the Ravens' 1. The GIANTS are 5-1. Nobody had this. (Giants 24, Ravens 20)

Trubisky back? Yeah, probably not. What's up with the Bucs that they couldn't beat what looks like a bad Steelers team?


(Steelers 20, Buccaneers 18)

Burkhardt and Olsen got redirected from that game to Jets-Packers, which I find hilarious. That's coming back.


Zero offense this quarter otherwise.

Rain starts to fall as the second quarter begins. Crosby field goal is BLOCKED by Quinnen Williams. The Jets turn it into 2nd and 29 because, well, they're still the Jets. Dillon fumbles and the Jets get it. Wilson almost costs his team three points with a bad decision to throw to the end zone instead of throwing it away. Zuerlein's a Jet? Makes sense since he's washed. Packers go deep on fourth and 3 from midfield but the pass is just out of Doubs's reach. Packers get the ball back but run out of time and have to settle for a field goal to end the half. Cobb being carted off. Jets take the lead on a Braxton Berrios rushing touchdown, of all things. Quinnen with another sack. The Packers have no answers for him. Punt is BLOCKED! TOUCHDOWN JETS.

I can't even go that far. Jordan Love throwing on the sideline. I don't know if the Jets have turned a corner, but I feel like the Packers have — into oncoming traffic. (Jets 27, Packers 10)

Burrow and Chase return to Louisiana and play it like they've never left. (Bengals 30, Saints 26)



So he's getting traded. (And was, the next day.) P.J. Walker started this game? Really? (Rams 24, Panthers 10)

Justin Reid going off to the sideline for the Chiefs, who are already down in the secondary. Bills get fancy and fumble in the red zone and the Chiefs recover. The refs call it a backwards pass, which apparently makes a difference. I don't see how; it's still Chiefs ball. MVS has a touchdown taken off because of an illegal man downfield penalty. Romo says Mahomes took too long to throw it. Von MIller jumps offside. Romo doesn't expect a high-scoring game. Chiefs are going for it. Mahomes ends up scrambling for it. He's forced out of the pocket and throws up a jump ball — that the Bills win. That's not why Romo didn't expect a high-scoring game.


Scoreless after 1? Didn't see that coming. Reid back in to break up a third down pass. Romo calls Steve Spagnuolo "one of the best defensive coordinators in history." Slow down, man. JuJu breaks a tackle and takes it to the house. 7-3 Chiefs.

Completely agree. I thought he was a perfect signing for them. Thornhill gets called for DPI and he knows it. First and goal Bills at the 10. Blitz forces Allen to rush an incompletion on third down. Chiefs blitz again on fourth down but McKenzie can't make the catch. The Chiefs have had the ball for four minutes and still haven't crossed midfield. They punt and take down the Bills inside the 10, and then an illegal block on what passed for that return put them inside the 5. No one covers Davis at the 25 and the Bills get out of the hole. Davis outruns Williams for a touchdown! BUTKER FROM 62 WHAT. There were 12 seconds left! That's sick. We're tied at 10 at the half. Does Diggs stay in? He sure does. Touchdown Bills. Kelce with a tough catch in traffic. Touchdown Hardman! Allen's hopping mad about something. He wanted a tripping call? Anyway, fourth and 3 fails and the Chiefs take over. That loss Pacheco took killed this drive. Chiefs get three. Touchdown Knox! Jesus. That was a laser beam. Still 1:04 left.

Taron Johnson picks off Mahomes? What? WOW.

Also... this is the final score Romo predicted. (Bills 24, Chiefs 20)

The First Lady is here leading a "Fly Eagles Fly" chant. Meek Mill is also here. "Dreams and Nightmares" became an anthem for this team during the Super Bowl run. Tirico: "I don't know if there are voices left in Philadelphia."


Cowboys get the ball first. CeeDee Lamb is playing despite a late appearance on the injury report. Halfway through the first and only one first down by either team. Most of the crew climbed the Rocky steps. Is that Jack Stoll's first catch of the year? (It's his second.) Third down run here makes me think they're going for it on fourth, adn they are. Swing pass to A.J. Brown gets it. First quarter ends with the Eagles facing 4th and 4 at the 10. Or not, as they line up to go for it. There's a flag. Who moved? Fowler! NOW the first quarter's over. I've never seen anyone as happy about drawing the other team offsides as Sirianni just now.


Sanders punches it in. Gardner-Johnson gets a pick off a deflection! Hurts fakes the handoff, then he fakes the bootleg and flips it to Brown, who gets to the end zone. That was HOT. I'm aroused.

They didn't give Lamb the first down there? That's odd. And of course, McCarthy doesn't challenge it because he's a moron. Cowboys go for it on 4th and inches from their own 35... Rush rollout? Pass? Really? Bradberry breaks it up.

Tirico goes to Terry Macauley about that Lamb play, and he says it should have been a first down and that the Cowboys would have won a challenge. DeMarcus Lawrence sniffs out whatever that was supposed to be. Elliott hits from 51. Pollard with a 15-yard blast. Slay picks off Rush! Just jumped in front of Gallup. Hurts picks up 12 on 3rd and 18. 34-yarder by Elliott makes it 20-0. Mike Trout's here in his regular end zone seats. Turpin finally breaks a big return. It ends when he runs into his own man because of course it does. This Noah Brown catch is wild. I'm actually not sure he had it at the top. It'll be reviewed, of course. Yeah, that looks like he's out. Call REVERSED. This four-down territory? Bradberry with a knockdown. I guess not, as Maher is on for a 30-yarder. Lane Johnson out with a concussion. Cowboys seem to have woken up. Zeke looking like he's back in his prime, as he finds a hole then outruns everyone for a touchdown. Hurts got lucky that Parsons didn't intercept that. Did they really get Parsons for unsportsmanlike conduct? Tirico notices how late that flag was. Cowboys send everyone and the Eagles have to punt. Cowboys finding everything on the left side on this drive. Refs pick up the flag for an illegal block in the back. McAuley can't believe it.

Gardner-Johnson back in. Eagles can't tackle anyone. Cowboys touchdown. Eagles go back to the run, which is smart. Slow that rush down. Have they attempted a pass on this drive? I don't think they have. Hurts goes up over the pile for a first down. There's a pass to A.J., who breaks a tackle and gets to the 6. And there's a touchdown to Smith off of play action.

Why are they going for two? Sanders gets nothing. Hurts could have faked that and gone in untouched off the left side. Still, they're up 9 with seven minutes left. Rush's wife is going through it. Eagles finally get pressure with Graham and Rush throws it deep — but not deep enough and Gardner-Johnson picks it off! That was legitimately close to disaster, as Bradberry had fallen and Lamb was wide open. Bad snap but Kelce falls on it.

That's Lamb's first big play since the first snap of the game. Maher on for a 59-yarder with 1:13 left, but he pushes it right. Now we got a rumble. EVERYBODY BE COOL.

(Eagles 26, Cowboys 17)

Mack Adam? Is that what we're doing here? Does Rock just show up for every primetime NFL game in L.A.? I'm amazed that pass didn't hit the ground. (It was easier to tell it didn't from the end zone camera.) Chargers aren't happy about that false start call. The fans are even madder about the non-call DPI on third down, but I don't know about that one. Neither offense doing much right now.


That's a big interference call against the Chargers. Sack! McManus good from 51.

Latavius Murray's a Bronco? OK. Wilson escapes and finds Jeudy open on the sideline. Touchdown... Greg Dulcich? OK. Chargers clearly didn't have him scouted. That IS a generous spot on that Everett catch. Ekeler powers his way into the end zone. Palmer gets tackled before the ball gets there and he still almost catches it. Hopkins back in to try a field goal. He hits from 37 and goes down again immediately afterwards. WIlson throws a 47-yard floater to Hamler. He had a man in his face, Hamler had to slow down to catch it. Just wild all around. There's another questionable roughing the passer call. McManus kicks a 27-yarder to end the half. Some pleasantries are exchanged after Hopkins ties it, but nothing comes of it. Lewis Hamilton in the house. He's in the visiting owners' box with the Broncos' new owners. Fourth quarter begins with the Chargers going for it on 4th and 2 from the Broncos 29. Mathis finally makes a good play and breaks up the pass. Buck notes that there's no Manningcast tonight and figures Peyton's still celebrating Tennessee's win over Alabama. Herbert throws into coverage and Browning intercepts it, then fumbles, then recovers his fumble.

Clips of Surtain holding Mike Williams hostage. Broncos go ahead with a field goal. A clearly hobbled Hopkins ties it again at 16.

Tranquill was shot out of a cannon on that sack. Broncos have to punt. But the Chargers can't do anything, either, and they let the clock run down and try a Hail Mary before going to overtime. What was the point of that? Broncos win the toss. Melvin Gordon has not played at all tonight for no good reason.

Williams barely goes out of bounds. Kareem Jackson knocks the ball out of Everett's hands. This feels like a tie.

MUFFED PUNT! Chargers ball! The Broncos' punt returner had a player blocked into him, causing the muff.

And the cookbook's written in Wingdings. Chargers get to the 22 and Hopkins is in to try it. It's GOOD.

That kind of knuckled in like the Tennessee game-winner did. The Chargers have lost this exact game for at least 15 years. (Chargers 19, Broncos 16, OT)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Philadelphia (6-0) — The Cardinals game was a bigger sweat in retrospect
3. Buffalo (5-1) — Getting a big leg up
2. Kansas City (4-2) — Narrow escape from the plains
4. Dallas (4-2) — Well that's a setback

BOTTOM 4:
29. Chicago (2-4) — Feet full of bullet holes
30. Detroit (1-4) — Time to adjust
31. Houston (1-3-1) — Name four of these guys
32. Carolina (1-5) — News flash: It didn't work out

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