Sunday, November 28, 2021

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: Priors Confirmation

Whose idea was this? Seriously. No Lavonte David, either? That's actually helpful for the Eagles. Brady getting the everliving fuck booed out of him. Buck calls it "the ultimate sign of respect." I mean, for some people. Godwin gets 10 on 3rd and 8, creating first and goal. There's been so much space for the Buccaneers' receivers to work in. Buck mentions Howard Eskin for... some reason. Touchdown O.J. Howard, who slipped on the way to the spot. Hurts loses two. Shaq Barrett jumps WAY offside. Hurts scrambles for a first down. Watkins makes a diving catch on a throw on the run. Replay shows that pass was deflected. Richard Sherman headed to the locker room. Sanders got a personal foul that no one at Fox seems to be able to find. Reagor slows down on an underthrown ball and draws a DPI flag. Touchdown Ertz! Fournette trucks Singleton, which is a metaphor for how the Eagles' defense has done so far. Touchdown Brown. Has Brady thrown an incompletion yet? One, apparently. Bucs wait a little too long to bring out the punt team on 4th and 2, and call time out. They punt anyway.


Low throw from Brady gets tipped and Epps comes up with it. Is it a catch? Pereira doesn't think so. This has taken a while. Call REVERSED, though that does make it fourth down. That's not enough to overturn that call.


Trout's here tonight, I guess. Hurts overthrows Watkins and Jamel Dean comes up with the pick.


There's that space again, on the Brown screen and then the pass to Fournette. The Bucs' pass-catchers have so much room to make catches and work. I know I already pointed this out but that's kind of my point. Fournette punches it in after the two-minute warning. Eagles go three and out. Brady throws up... something and Anthony Harris, who's back in after hurting his hand, picks it off. No idea what happened there. Reagor incompletion review takes about 15 seconds. There have somehow been three changes of possession inside two minutes. 21-7 Bucs at halftime. Runyan and Tra Thomas join the Eagles Hall of Fame during halftime. Rough start for the Eagles to the second half. Troy: "It feels too easy right now." Fournette to the 1. He scores two plays later. Buck: "That was easy." Reagor draws another big DPI flag. THEY CALLED A RUNNING PLAY! That gets the biggest pop of the night. Hurts rolls out on 4th and 5 and takes it in himself.


If Sirianni is going to call nothing but screens he should just steal Andy's. This is a catch by Watkins as we start the fourth. Eagles challenge. Another Sanders run gets another huge sarcastic cheer. Then THIS happens:


Then the Buccaneers go for it on 4th and 2 at midfield and Brady badly overthrows Howard. Eagles take over with about 9:20 left. BACK-TO-BACK CARRIES FOR SANDERS. Then he gets them to the 1. Hurts keeps it on an option and scores. They go for two and get it! Buck and Aikman seem surprised that this is somehow a six-point game. Frankly, so am I. The hell with this taunting rule. Seriously. Brady zings one to Brown for 27 on 3rd and 7. The dagger just came out. And there it is.


The line was a too-low 6.5. (Buccaneers 28, Eagles 22)


Fifty-four-yarder is BARELY good. I mean BARELY. Dolphins go for it, and Green thinks they are going for it. Malcom Brown takes the handoff — and doesn't get there! Lawrence gets sacked twice in a row. It's 3rd and 20 and we're going to overtime. OR NOT? Super-quick throw by Lawrence to Shenault, then they call time out. Wright from 53. IT'S GOOD!!


(Jaguars 23, Dolphins 20)


So that's how that's going. Man, Nate Solder has been an absolute bust as a Giant. And this defense is getting steamrolled.


(Rams 38, Giants 11)

In case you needed a reminder of how trash the Washington Football Team is. This is what they did for the Sean Taylor jersery retirement ceremony that they claim they had planned for months but didn't announce until Thursday:


Hill is called down after the ball comes out. Someone named Jody Fortson's making circus catches. Touchdown Darrell Williams. Heinecke not off to the best start. Big play to Hardman puts the Chiefs in the red zone. Hill can't handle the pass and it's intercepted. Chiefs get a... stop? OK. Can't kick field goals against the Chiefs. Chiefs come up with a fumble recovery of their own. It's their first takeaway in four games? Who are they, last year's Eagles? Charles Davis is wondering how Kelce's gonna look on this drive. Two plays later he commits offensive pass interference, so I don't know if that's an answer. Hardman fumbles and Washington gets it. Sloppy game so far. Seals-Jones breaks free and scores. Mahomes drops the snap, throws up a duck, and it gets intercepted. That's awful and the Chiefs are trailing a bad Washington team at halftime. Hopkins misses a field goal. Mahomes throws a laser to Hill for a touchdown. Then the Chiefs get a big punt return with 15 yards added for an illegal block by the PUNTER. The Washington Football Team, ladies and gentlemen! Williams cuts outside and scores easily. 24-13 Chiefs. I know it's the Chiefs' offense, but the Washington defense might be the most disappointing unit in the league this season. Heinecke gets sacked and keeps going. Or maybe he wasn't? He wasn't! He rolled over Frank Clark and managed to throw the ball away. Fair catch at the 4? Really? Mahomes finds Robinson on 3rd and 8 with 4:11 left and that should do it. (Chiefs 31, Washington 13)



I thought Dominic Rhodes actually played for the Ravens at one point. It was actually the Raiders. (Ravens 34, Chargers 6)

Nagy calls a timeout, then throws the challenge flag. That seems wildly inefficient. They say the catch was short, so Nagy wins the challenge after all. Rodgers sneaks for a first down, making it not matter in the end. Bears football in a nutshell. There's Adams. Shovel pass to Lazard finds pay dirt. Crosby with an uneventful extra point, which everyone involved will gladly accept. Jones catches a touchdown pass and it feels like the proverbial snowball's rolling downhill now.


Or not.


Oof. (Packers 24, Bears 14)

Cowboys already going for 4th and short. Doesn't look like Zeke got there. Never challenge spots, McCarthy! Call STANDS. Have you learned NOTHING. Patriots get the ball and Harris takes off for 21. He scores two plays later. Cowboys fake to Zeke and Dak finds Jarwin for six.


None whatsoever. Patriots moving quickly. Touchdown Hunter Henry. Are we headed for a shootout here? Tyron Smith gets flagged for choking a dude, wiping out a big catch by Cedrick Wilson. Bad, late throw by Dak gets picked off in the end zone. Mac to Agholor for 27. Meyers touchdown gets called back by offensive holding, then Mac gets wrecked on a strip sack and the Cowboys recover. J.C. Jones breaks up a would-be touchdown pass to Wilson as CBS flashes the TOUCHDOWN graphic anyway. Cowboys block a punt! Dak sneak gets stuffed. Now he leaps over the pile and gets there. The ball comes out. Whoa, that's a fumble! Replay shows the ball came out before it broke the plane. Nantz and Romo wonder why the sneak before wasn't reviewed, since they thought he'd scored on that play. Steratore explains that they never saw where the ball was. Call is correctly REVERSED and the Patriots take over at the 20. Pats content to go into halftime with the lead. Second half has started the opposite of the first half. Footage of Jerry and Kraft greeting each other and posing for a picture, for some reason. Touchdown Lamb, who beats Jalen Mills in the corner. That's the Cowboys' 2500th touchdown, which... OK? Good for you?


Is the poll out? Because Ole Miss is 12th now and they were 13th during the first game. Someone named Rhamondre Stevenson scores and the Patriots retake the lead, 21-20. Penalty pushes the Cowboys back 10 yards. Dak scrambles and dives but he doesn't get there. Fourth and 1. The FIELD GOAL TEAM comes on? With this much time left? Really?


51-yarder is NO GOOD! Did the Pats get a piece of that kick? Diggs picks off Mac Jones and takes it to the house! Touchdown Cowboys! That's, what, seven interceptions already for him? Yeah. Then the Patriots come right back and Kendrick Bourne dusts Diggs for a touchdown! Good Lord. This game is drunk again. Romo sneaks in a Bourne Identity joke and no one notices. Yet ANOTHER penalty on the Cowboys. As expected, McCarthy has absolutely butchered the end of this game. And again they try a field goal with 24 seconds left on 4th and 1.




It's good. The Patriots get the ball first in overtime and do nothing with it. Dak finds Lamb and he'll walk into the end zone. Cowboys win in spite of themselves. (Cowboys 35, Patriots 29, OT)

Tirico subbing for Al tonight, who likely didn't want flashbacks from the awful Super Bowl these two played. They have a Tirico/Collinsworth booth frame for the intro? GENO. Three straight punts to start. Doing great. We have downed punt drama. The knock back is fine. What happens with the Seahawk player who picks it up for some reason? He gets knocked backwards over his own teammate and loses the ball. Looks like it'll be a touchback. Najee Harris is 232 pounds? He doesn't look it. Tirico and Collinsworth wonder if the Steelers' offense is shifting back to run-first. First quarter ends without incident. Or points. That's not a good punt. Diontae Johnson gets the Steelers into field goal range on a sweep. Ben finds Harris, and he finds the end zone. He gets free on the next drive but the throw is slightly long. Jet sweep to EBRON? Touchdown Steelers! Highsmith sacks Smith. Some interesting wig colors in the crowd tonight. Halftime! Seahawks have 65 yards of offense. Seahawks get the ball to start the third quarter. This drive is a slog. An effective slog, but a slog none the less. Touchdown!


Look, the Seahawks can't afford to lose any more running backs. That's Gerald Everett, formerly of the Rams, making that big play downfield for the Seahawks. Geno hits Dissly for a touchdown. Steelers get a clutch sack and the Seahawks can only kick a field goal to tie. Seahawks challenge this incompletion, claiming that its a fumble by Roethlisberger. They are correct. (Remember, the Tuck Rule doesn't exist anymore.) Call REVERSED. Seahawks take over at the Steelers' 35. They force a punt. Johnson drops a diving attempt on a second down, then Ben overthrows Claypool on third. Steelers come up with another big stop. This looks bad. Darrell Taylor's been down for a while. Cart's out. Two minutes left. Claypool can't stay inbounds AND he gets called for OPI. Pass to Harris gets 17 on 3rd and 20, getting them back into field goal range. Boswell from 52 into the closed end of the stadium, Tirico notes. No doubt about that one. Big difference between Wilson and Geno in this spot. Metcalf makes a tough catch on the sideline that stands. Metcalf fumbles but Swain is on it.


Ten seconds left! They've gotta spike it. They get it off with one second, but the clock reads zeroes. It's always something with the Seahawks at night. And this game's in Pittsburgh! Great work by McAuley on this explanation — the clock was stopped to review the catch/fumble, meaning the spike play didn't count. Now they spike it. Field goal is good and we have our third overtime game of the day.


McCloud gets stonewalled on third down, forcing the Steelers to punt. Seahawks FUMBLE! T.J. Watt got away from five guys and knocked the ball out of Geno's hands. Do you even run a play here? Ben slides to the middle of the field and goes down. Boswell's on. It's GOOD!


Damaging loss for the Seahawks, and a badly needed win for the Steelers. (Steelers 23, Seahawks 20, OT)

Devin Singletary being showcased for a trade? He hardly plays anymore. Vrabel tries to recreate the Music City Miracle on a punt return but a flag comes out for an illegal forward pass.



Poyer makes a great leaping interception. Knox touchdown gets called back. Bills settle for another field goal. Well, there goes Derrick Henry. 76 yards and it was over after seven.


Actual Music City Miracle highlights bring us back from commercial. Allen finds Sanders in the middle of the zone. Touchdown to Stefon Diggs, which is his second, tying him with his brother, who is a cornerback. Riddick: "That's easy." Pass goes off Micah Hyde's helmet, and Julio Jones falls out of bounds making this catch. Wait, they said he caught it? There's pass interference on Hyde. Oh, Julio did drag his left foot! That's a great catch. Clip of Henry damn near killing Josh Norman with a stiff arm last year. Byard picks off Allen. Taylor Lewan down? That's not good for the Titans. Cart is out and he's strapped all the way in. He gives the thumbs-up on the way out. Tannehill keeps it and scores. Titans back up 17-13. Allen rolls out and no one covers Beasley in the end zone. Batson being helped off. 20-17 Bills at halftime, which is more points that I'd have figured for. Henry cuts back and gets 20, only because Hyde sacrificed himself to prevent the touchdown. A.J. Brown with his first catch of the night. Touchdown Henry! 24-23 Titans.


TOMMY SWEENEY? Then the Bills run the Philly Special for the two-point conversion. Henry just scores touchdowns out of nowhere. You look up and he's in the end zone. 34-31 Titans with 3:05 left. KICKOFF RETURN TOUCHDOWN? Check this flag. It's never good. Yep, illegal block. Why are the Titans sitting back on defense? Allen leaps towards the marker at the 3. Did he get there? Refs say no. He didn't see Beasley in the end zone. Fourth and half a yard. Bills line up to go for it and the TITANS call time out. SNEAK? He didn't make it! That never had a chance. This is the third game ending Vrabel's butchered, and the second time he's gotten away with it.


(Titans 34, Bills 31)

RANKINGS:

TOP 4: 

1. Arizona (6-0) — This week it's an offense party

2. L.A. Rams (5-1) — Running warmups

3. Green Bay (5-1) — Still collecting rent

4. Tampa Bay (5-1) — Uh-oh

BOTTOM 4: 

29. N.Y. Giants (1-5) —  Limp and listless

30. Jacksonville (1-5) — Home field advantage!

31. Miami (1-5) — Seriously?

32. Detroit (0-6) — A rare non-competitive effort

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