Friday, December 6, 2019

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 12: Out of Reach

It's Troy's birthday? Colts will have T.Y. Hilton back. Jonathan Williams starting for the broken-handed Marlon Mack. Two holds on this punt, one on each team. How is that not offsetting? We come back from break to find that it is, in fact, offsetting. (The punt was almost blocked, by the way.) That's gonna be CLOSE. It looks like he does re-establish himself in the field before downing that. That's fine work. Colts get the ball at their own 1. Joe thinks Hopkins kept his feet inbounds even though it's called incomplete. He's right and the refs change the call without a review. Watson rolls out and finds Fells for 24 on 3rd and 13. Scoreless after one. Watson throws too far for Fells in the end zone. Field goal is good despite Darius Leonard jumping over the Texans' line. Hilton arrives with a diving catch. Colts going backwards. They barely get the 3rd and 26 play off. Kenny Moore tips this Watson pass to himself for the pick. Hines gets a big hole and runs for 19. Brissett scores on a keeper. Duke Johnson with a good run, followed by a Will Fuller sighting. Hopkins catches a touchdown pass in the end zone like he was fielding a punt. Nobody within five yards of him. Mistakes were made. Replay shows he ran right behind Malik Hooker, who never saw him. Brissett's pass is tipped but Ebron catches it. Did that hit the ground? Surprised that wasn't looked at. Doyle with the catch, but he can't get out of bounds. Game clock's at zero, for some reason. Viniatieri on for a 36-yarder. It's good. 10-10 at halftime. Touchdown Williams after a mostly run-powered drive to start the third. Colts retake the lead. Line-drive extra point is good. FULLER! It's weird watching receivers make tough catches. Fairbarn's field goal attempt CLANGs off the top of the upright — and goes through! 17-13. Big run by Hyde to open the fourth. Hopkins beats Desir for a touchdown!




Brissett to Ebron on the near sideline. Pass on 3rd and 7 broken up. Colts going for it, which is probably correct with three minutes left. Brissett has time, but no one's open, and his scramble doesn't get there. Texans take over. Not sure why the Colts didn't use at least one time out before the two-minute warning. Fuller converts a third down and that's probably it. Why are the Texans calling a Watson keeper here? Did this ball come out?




Now the TEXANS call time out. What are they doing? Those last three minutes were WEIRD. (Texans 20, Colts 17)

Signal Finder: SEA @ PHI, DET @ WSH (end), JAX @ TEN, DAL @ NE

That's a good return. Ertz overruns his route slightly and the ball ends up behind him. Then it almost gets picked off the deflection. No Clowney for the Seahawks, by the way. Grugier-Hill almost gets to Wilson, but he gets away only for DK Metcalf to lose his grip on a lob. Sack! Not a good punt. Jay Ajayi back! Now wearing 28, he picks up 3rd and 1. Greg Ward's first catch!




Wentz misses Sanders badly on third down. Field goal is good. Metcalf makes the catch with Darby all over him. Flea-flicker with a sideways lateral? Touchdown Seahawks. That first pitch fooled everyone and no one was near Turner when Wilson threw the pass. Ward picks up a first down. Wentz takes off on a scramble for 12. Charles Davis thinks he's going to have to do more of that. Wentz is hit from behind and fumbles. Seahawks ball. Not sure Wentz knew he was there.




The defense forces a three-and-out. Punt is downed at the Eagles' 1. Seahawks jump offsides while facing a jumbo package with six linemen (Big V is in at right guard for Brandon Brooks.) Ward with another catch. EXTEND HIM. Wentz misses Sanders again, but this one was closer. Ajayi crosses midfield as the quarter ends. Another fumble is negated by defensive holding. Imagine feeling like you need to hold these receivers. Interception! Everything went wrong there: Wentz was rushed and had to hurry the throw, the throw was early and low, and Goedert was held and the refs missed it. Wilson hits David Moore for 31 yards down the sideline. Big run by Rashard Penny. Wilson misses a wide-open Hollister in the end zone. Oof. Field goal is good. 10-3 Seahawks. Seahawks rush four and Wentz gets swallowed up. Jenkins sacks Wilson on a blitz. Wentz with another poor throw, missing Ward, who's the only Eagle who's caught anything today.




Short punt gives the Seahawks good field position. Wilson runs for a first down. Metcalf drops a touchdown. Eagles will get the ball back with 1:01 left. Four-man rush gets to Wentz AGAIN. Seahawks use their last time out, but Pederson doesn't take the bait and runs on third down to end the half. Seahawks get the ball to start the second half. Carson converts 3rd and 10 that started as a first and 20. Metcalf with another drop, this time on a diving attempt. Dillard got benched, so Vaitai's now at right tackle and Matt Pryor at right guard. Arceaga-Whiteside with a catch in traffic, no less. A bad handoff leads to a fumble and the Seahawks recover. Wentz tackles the defensive lineman, who also fumbles, and there's a scramble for it before Shaqeim Griffin, who blew up the handoff initially, picks it up and advances it to the 5. BUT, it'll come back to where Wentz tackled the lineman, as he is flagged for an illegal forward pass. Seahawks with a false start, then a delay of game.




I'd have declined this tripping penalty if I were the Eagles. Intercepted! McLeod comes up with the deflection, then laterals it to Maddox.




Some good runs are followed up by a failed wide receiver screen. Third quarter ends. Now Wentz is headed to the locker room? Chris Carson turns the corner on 3rd and 1 and gets there. Another sack for Jenkins, with help from Gerry. Mills gets flagged for holding after Wilson overthrew Gordon. Wentz is back on the sideline, apparently. Penny goes up the middle, fights Darby off, and scores a 58-yard touchdown. This game's over and there's nothing else on. ANOTHER FUMBLE as Goedert gets the ball knocked out while fighting for extra yards because nothing is easy for this offense. Then CARSON fumbles, but he gets it back because of course. HE FUMBLED AGAIN! On the NEXT PLAY. Eagles ball. Sanders loses three on 3rd and 1, not that it matters. Eagles go for it and it's incomplete off Arceaga-Whiteside's hands.




Meanwhile, Tyler Lockett actually makes a tough catch. Eagles challenging that he pushed off, to no avail.




At least the defensive line's played well, outside of a couple bad reads by Barnett in the run game. Wentz to Ertz twice. Make that three times. Trey Flowers picks off Wentz, ending the worst game of his career. I will note this sideline garbage-time contested catch by Arceaga-Whiteside, which was why he was drafted in the first place. I apologize, Dolphins-Browns watchers. You should have been better served. (Seahawks 17, Eagles 9)

Haven't the Lions not won here in like 65 years or something like that? Driskel throws an interception to possibly lengthen that streak. (Redskins 19, Lions 16)




That's... something. This finish was nuts. (Saints 34, Panthers 31)

Seriously, the Bengals are going to go 0-16 and absolutely no one will care. They lost to DEVLIN HODGES. How badly do you have to play to get benched against the BENGALS? (Steelers 16, Bengals 10)

I'm not watching this game and neither is anyone else. (Titans 42, Jaguars 20)

Weather's not good here. Maybe the place will flood. A man can dream, right? Cowboys get the opening kickoff and go three and out. Michel takes a run outside and gets a first down right away, as the Patriots have struggled to run the ball recently. No Sanu for the Patriots, who will be relying on rookies Harry and Meyers. The Cowboys, also, will likely want to get their running  game going again. Screen to Elliott turns into a big play. Jamie Collins runs down a scrambling Dak on third down. Cowboys try a field goal that clangs off the upright and out. Brady gets sacked after recovering his own fumble. BLOCKED PUNT. Matthew Slater is a special teams king. Pats take over at the Cowboys' 12. N'Keal Harry with a leaping catch in the end zone for a touchdown. Pollard drops the kickoff and goes down at the 18. He's had issues recently with returning kickoffs, too. Jarwin fumbles, but gets it back. Gilmore picks off Prescott. This is how it's gonna be, isn't it? Brady and Edelman can't connect; a rare sight. Folk to try from 44. It's good. Cooper on the Cowboys' sideline for unclear reasons. Buck notes that Tavon Austin was in the backfield with Elliott on that last run and suspects the Cowboys are setting something up. Dak rolls out but misses an open Cobb. Maher tries from 46 and he sneaks it inside the upright.




Meyers breaks a tackle then carries another dude for about seven more yards. This time Brady and Edelman connect. Folk misses right as the rain turns to snow. Prescott to Gallup for 22. And add 15 for roughing the passer. Drive stalls and the Cowboys kick again. This time it's good. Harry can't handle a ball on the sideline, but Meyers makes a catch over the middle on 3rd and 9. Not sure how Brady survived getting absolutely crunched. Edelman gets stopped one yard short with 23 seconds left. Folk's kick is... no good! His second miss today. 10-6 Pats at the break. Brandon Bolden's up! Brady gets hit but still finds Edelman on 3rd and 20. Brady facing pressure this week, too — Collins got him for a sack on the next third down. Not a good punt, either. Cowboys can't convert a third down. I don't know if I'd have called that play, either. Brady makes a great throw to Meyers over the middle, but Jeff Heath breaks it up with a big, clean hit. Witten catches that in his younger days, and the Cowboys are lucky to still have the ball, as it hit the ground just before Gilmore could make a play on it. Good catch by Gallup with everyone on the move. Another Cooper sighting, but it's coming back because of offensive holding. Austin can't stay inbounds. Pats mess with the Cowboys by not putting a returner back on this punt. It forces both a delay of game and then an inferior punt to the first one that didn't count. Michel finds a hole.




Bennett snuffs out a swing pass to James White. Folk hits from 42. Another screwup on the kickoff as Pollard is positioned at the goal line, then has to come up past the 20 to field a short kick and almost loses it back to the Patriots. Aikman rightly notes that that's on the coaches. COBB! They're KICKING THE FIELD GOAL? Christ. Garrett can't coach. Aikman is apoplectic. It's 13-9 and nothing has changed. That's how you lose this game. As much grief as we're giving Pederson today, he would have gone for it on at least two of those occasions, and definitely on this one. (The other one being the field goal that Maher missed.) Patriots passing for some reason. Michel loses four yards and that'll scuttle this drive. Pass to Elliott converts 3rd and 1, but Travis Frederick gets flagged for tripping. Aikman's not a fan. Cooper makes a diving catch on 4th and 11! Or does he? They're reviewing it. I'm not sure. Pereira doesn't think it's a catch.




Announcers and Pereira are also taking moment to debate the two tripping calls, both of which were questionable at best. (Pereira's never been more wrong than he is here, BTW.) Call REVERSED. Two Michel runs lead to a first down, and that's it. Why aren't the Patriots kicking a field goal here? (Patriots 13, Cowboys 9)

The CFL got Keith Urban for the Grey Cup halftime? That's huge. We had a 16-yard field goal before halftime, which isn't even possible in the U.S. They've got video of Carrie up on screens during "The Fighter." If he'd brought her out, that stadium collapses. (This would have been impossible, as she is at the American Music Awards.) He's in the crowd. There's been more offense in this game than any NFL game I've seen today. Better weather, too. Jim Jeffcoat's son Jackson just forced a fumble. How many families have both Super Bowls and Grey Cups? SIX turnovers by the Tiger-Cats! You're not beating anyone in any country doing that. Make it SEVEN. Christ. It's Winnipeg's first title since 1990. In a nine-team league! That's hard to do. Andrew Harris wins Outstanding Player AND Outstanding Canadian Player, which is a first in 107 of these. (Blue Bombers 33, Tiger-Cats 12)

FLEXING. Which NBC never mentions anymore (Seahawks-Eagles was actually sacrificed for this, which is fine.) Kind of dumb for Davante Adams to bump a defender out of bounds in front of an official. Rodgers gets sacked. The ball comes out and the 49ers may have it at the 2. I think Rodgers is down. I am WRONG. 49ers ball! Tevin Coleman gets turned around but still manages to get the ball across the line. Some real powerhouse programs on that 49ers offense. Garoppolo fumbles the snap, but Coleman falls on it. Kevin King gets flagged for holding Bourn, while Bryan Bulaga walks into the locker room. The Packers are already down one starting tackle. Jeff Wilson again? This guy plays one offensive snap a game and he just went for 25 yards on this one. Field goal is good. Packers haven't done anything on offense so far. Hey, a drive. Packers call time out before 4th and 1. Jones runs up the middle and gets NOWHERE. Recap of the 94ers drafting Alex Smith over Rodgers. 3RD AND 35. WELL DONE. PERSONAL FOUL ON THE DEFENSE. WELL FUCKING DONE. Kittle's playing, and he reminds us by going up to haul in that Garoppolo pass. Garoppolo dumps one off to Coleman. Another field goal makes it 13-0. Rodgers has been throwing off his back foot all night. He's either pressing or his protection is worse than I thought it would be. Deebo Samuel outruns the Packers to the end zone. Touchdown! Al points out that California hasn't been kind to the Packers this season. Nick Bosa sacks Rodgers and does the Shrug. Niners have a chance to score again. Field goal is good. 23-0 49ers and they'll get the second-half kickoff. Niners open with a 3rd and 25. They don't convert. Rodgers has had no pocket tonight and he still manages to find Jamal Williams on a dump-off to convert 4th and 4. Packers in the red zone! Stop the presses. Touchdown Adams. They go for two and Adams is alone in the corner. 23-8. Kittle WIDE open and somebody screwed up. 61-yard touchdown.




Rodgers throws just too far for Valdes-Scantling in the end zone. Fourth and 10. Incomplete, but a flag. DPI saves the Packers for now. That's two third downs the 49ers convert on this drive. Mostert picks his way through the defense and scores. We've been done here for a while. Who's Rodgers' backup these days? Because that isn't DeShone Kizer. I've had more than enough of the LaFleur brothers storyline, guys. (49ers 37, Packers 8)




The Rams get all of their receivers back tonight, which should help. I thought Color Rush was only for Thursday night. Jackson goes around the right side as Clay Matthews makes the wrong read. They didn't get this play off. The flag's for an illegal shift but they didn't get the play off. Touchdown for Hollywood Brown in Hollywood. Why isn't Ramsey on him? Jimmy Smith comes on a corner blitz and gets to Goff. Ingram gashes the Rams for a first down, then Gus Edwards follows up with another run in space.




They're averaging more than 200 rushing yards per game. Sack! Ingram gets 10 on 3rd and 12. Booger suggests the Ravens might go for this here, and the offense is still on the field. Jackson dives through the hole and picks it up. Hollywood runs past everyone for another touchdown catch. Rams finally get a first down to end the quarter. Gurley picks up a first down as the Rams try to adopt the Ravens' playbook. Goff has just enough time to find Cooks on the far sideline. Goff throws early and misses Kupp. Looks like defensive holding. Swing pass to Gurley goes absolutely nowhere. Field goal is good. Big running lane opens up for Jackson, and he gets 29 yards and the only reason he didn't score was because he fell down. Booger compares him to Vick again, calling him the only other player at that position with that much explosiveness with the ball in his hands. Ingram dives in for the touchdown. Goff to Woods, then to Cooks. The second one is followed by Chuck Clark getting an unsportsmanlinke conduct flag for knocking the ball away from the back judge. True Ravens shit. Sack! Fumble! Rams get it back. Booger: "America. Stop allowing tight ends to block premier pass rushers."




That sack ends up sealing their field goal fate. Ravens already at the Rams' 25. Rams blitz and Jackson finds Snead on a slant for an easy touchdown. Rams don't even bother running another play. 28-6 Ravens at the half.




Jackson to Ingram for a touchdown to cap off a workmanlike drive. Five possessions, five touchdowns. Tess points out that the Rams are two games behind the Seahawks for a WILD CARD spot. They're in real trouble. They PUNT. What the hell happened to Sean McVay? Talk turns to Eric Weddle and his alleged unwillingness to tell Rams coaches about the Ravens' plans. Lisa Salters talked to him and he clarified that giving up play calls just didn't make sense. (On the other hand, you know Marcus Peters spilled ALL the tea. Because he's that dude.) Ravens not sure what to do, as the punt team was out, then the field goal team, then the OFFENSE all with about 10 seconds left on the play clock, even. Harbaugh calls time out. They go for it and Jackson completes it to Boykin. Talk turns to the AFC playoff picture, and the announces wonder if the Patriots could better contain the Ravens at home than they did in Baltimore a few weeks back. Tess: "Funny things happen up there. Did you see the tripping?" Jackson to Snead, who rounds the corner... and gets the pylon! Tess: "We got a Jackson Five!" That also makes him 7-for-7 on third downs tonight. Booger talks up the Ravens' defense, which has done a JOB tonight and all year after losing Suggs, C.J. Mosley and others. Peters intercepts Goff. He's enjoying this. Remember, the Rams basically dumped him on the Ravens to make room for Jalen Ramsey, and Peters has been the better player since those trades. Twelve minutes left and RGIII in.




I wonder if he wonders how things would have turned out if he'd had a coach who actually wanted him around. THIS CATCH BY BOYKIN THOUGH. Brockers gets to Griffin. Booger notes that Aaron Donald has done nothing tonight just as I'm thinking I haven't heard his name called. Field goal! As in NOT A TOUCHDOWN. That's a win for the Rams. Rams punt again. Cowards. At least it was over quickly.




I mean, he might be right. (Ravens 45, Rams 6)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Baltimore (9-2) — Good luck solving this
2. Seattle (9-2) — Gotta win ugly sometimes
3. San Francisco (10-1) — A much-needed rebound
4. New England (10-1) — I still have CONCERNS

BOTTOM 4:
29. N.Y. Giants (2-9) — Had their chances
30. Miami (2-9) — Same old, same old
31. Washington (2-9) — How embarrassing for the Lions
32. Cincinnati (0-11) — Zac Taylor is drowning and no one cares

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