Saturday, November 23, 2019

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 11: No Joy Here

I'm a little surprised to see James Conner back after not playing Sunday with a shoulder injury. Browns defense swarming Rudolph here. Mayfield somehow finds Kareem Hunt near the sideline. Is this his first game back? Down the middle to Beckham! They call this a touchdown, which would be about Beckham's second of the year, which is a big reason why they Browns are 3-6. It's reviewed and placed back at the 1. Mayfield keeps it himself and scores.




Two fouls on this third and long for the Steelers and they'll take the pass interference flag. Bad hold on this field goal attempt and it floats harmlessly left. This Hunt run will be close. Chains are out. First down. Mayfield gets flushed out of the pocket (again) and throws incomplete on third down. Nothing will get better here until that line improves. FOX runs the same promo for Michigan-Michigan State that they ran last year. Not a good throw by Rudolph on 3rd and 1. And why are they throwing on 3rd and 1? Mayfield finds Hodge over the middle. Steelers challenge this spot and... win? OK. Got them 18 yards back, so they're good with it. Landry finds room and makes the catch a the Steelers' 6. Last week's red zone woes are brought up. That's an easy interference call on Haden. No one's near Landry in the end zone. Conner's shoulder injury has flared up again, according to Kristina Pink. Roughing gives the Steelers a first down, but now Juju's down after taking a shot to the head. We come back from commercial to him being helped off, which is bad news for an already bad offense. Morgan Burnett comes off the edge to tackle Edmunds for a loss on 3rd and 2. Steelers go for it, but Rudolph gets pressured in to an incompletion. The Steelers' protection hasn't been good tonight. They try a flea-flicker, but it's deflected by Denzel Ward and intercepted by Morgan Burnett! But a big return is wasted as Seibert misses right from 45 yards. Steelers can't do anything and the Browns take a 14-0 halftime lead. Bad pass by Rudolph behind the receiver and it's picked off. Wow. Rudolph misses Dionte Johnson deep, and Johnson then takes a helmet to helmet hit from Demarious Randall.




They just ejected him! The hit knocked Johnson's helmet off. I'm surprised by that but I'm not against it. Greedy Williams chest-bumps Horton and that's yet another penalty, the fourth on this drive against the Browns. Crowd is furious. It's first and goal! Rudolph tosses it to Samuels and he scores easily. First time the Browns have moved the ball in a while.




No idea what happened there. Pereira wanted only offensive pass interference. Austin Seibert misses from 50 to end the third quarter. Along with everything else, Rudolph hasn't been accurate tonight. No one can catch. Steelers go for it again and it's almost intercepted. Browns take over anyway. Big stuff by Bud Dupree on third down to end this drive. Rudolph is picked off by Joe Schobert and that's probably the end of that, even with 6:22 left. First and goal at the 4 after the return. Mayfield avoids a sack and somehow finds Carlson in the back of the end zone. That throw gets away from Rudolph and is intercepted. He has unequivocally sucked tonight. But then, so has every other Steelers offensive player, so. Rudolph gets punked and now we got a fight. What's all this? Myles Garrett threw Rudolph down well after he'd thrown the ball, pulled his helmet off, then hit him over the head with it!! What the actual fuck! That's suspendable. Jesus Christ.







Wait, who else got thrown out? Was it Pouncey? (It was, for kicking a downed Browns player.) The Browns send backup quarterback Garrett Gilbert out for this final kneel down, which is the most intelligent decision anybody in this game has made tonight. What a farce. Tomlin's just here so he doesn't get fined. (Browns 21, Steelers 7)

Signal Finder: HOU @ BAL, DAL @ DET, DEN @ MIN (end), NE @ PHI

Watson dances around the pocket for about 10 seconds before just running out of time. Did he fumble? He did! Ravens ball!




Jackson throws a little high to Hurst on 3rd and 7 but he brings it in. Tucker MISSES? It's the apocalypse. Hopkins moving chains. Ravens stuff 3rd and 1 and the Texans... keep their offense on the field. Watson goes deep to Hopkins in the end zone, but Humphrey pulls him down. No flag, and the Texans challenge. Call STANDS. Absolute joke. This felt like a bad idea when they implemented it, but I didn't think it would be this bad in this respect.




It's embarrassing. Big Jackson run gets called back, then the Texans line up in the neutral zone, so it's 1st and 10 again. Drive stalls and Tucker is out again. Does he always cross himself before a kick? I just noticed that. Fake! It's a pitch to Andrews and he doesn't even come close. Ravens come back with a sack, only to rough Watson on the next play. Not sure how you have a false start on a running back but Ingram just did it. That's a face mask and that'll add 15 more yards to this Andrews catch-and-run. Jackson with plenty of time, and he finds Seth Roberts in the back of the end zone. Watson with a casual flip to Fells, who carries some Ravens about 10 additional yards. Back-to-back sacks ends this drive. Jackson escapes a collapsing pocket again and gets another first down. Gus Edwards finds a hole and takes it to the Texans' 10. Jackson with a strike to Andrews for a touchdown. Small but noticeable "MVP!" chant breaking out. 14-0. Fortunately Watson's walking off after that. No update through halftime, and the Ravens get the second half kickoff. Hollywood Brown stumbles on a deep route, but it turns out he was pushed. Great catch by Snead. Ingram is left completely alone on a wheel route, and he cuts inside at the 2 and scores easily. Watson back out.




Did Iain just say "Lamar-kable?" Quarterbacks don't break tackles like that. Tucker makes this kick and it's 24-0. Watson gets picked off! Ravens add three more. We're getting close to being switched, I think. The Texans have only been shut out twice, but by this exact score both times. Watson goes deep to Stills on 3rd and 2 but overthrows him. Texans go for it, but Hopkins can't hold on to the ball. CBS's ticker showing the Vikings' score after the highlight of the Vikings' score. Toss to Ingram, who makes another move and that's another touchdown. 34-0. And we're out.




(Ravens 41, Texans 7)

Falcons really out here playing spoiler before Thanksgiving even gets here. (Falcons 29, Panthers 3)

SWITCH. Cousins drops one right into Diggs' hands for an easy touchdown and what was a 20-0 Broncos lead is now 23-20. Brandon Allen finds Sutton, who beats Xavier Rhodes again. Field goal is no good and McManus knew it immediately. Play fake to Rudolph and he has an easy touchdown. Vikings lead! Broncos pulling a Baylor here. Broncos challenging no pass interference on this play to the non-Noah Fant tight end. This will not work because it never does, and there's less here than the one on Hopkins that got ignored. Non-call STANDS. This is a first down. Why do they keep showing it? Broncos call time out with 27 seconds left facing 4th and 1. Allen keeps it and gains 11 to the 5! Hurry up, dudes! Vikings call time out, bailing out the Broncos, who were completely out of sorts. This Kearse guy's been riding the line all game in coverage. Allen goes to Fant on the far sideline but Kearse is there in coverage and it was off target. Allen may have rushed that throw, too. Four blown fourth-quarter leads for the Broncos? Is that fireable? (Vikings 27, Broncos 23)




I'm surprised there are enough home fans here to get a chant that loud. (Jets 34, Redskins 17)

Cowboys wearing their blue jerseys on not-Thanksgiving? What world is this? (The Lions are in their whites.) GOOD START, COWBOYS. Danny Amendola? Still? Touchdown Lions. Wait, Bo Scarbrough? OK. Didn't know this is where he was. Gotcha. Then Tony Pollard hesitates on the kickoff return and gets buried at the 11. Cowboys settling down now and putting together a workmanlike drive. Slant to Gallup and it's first and goal. Prescott gets sacked on third down as the protection dies. Field goal is good. Dak to Gallup for 23. Cobb drops a pass on a wheel route. Pollard makes the catch, makes two guys miss, and scores. Scarbrough somehow looks smaller in a Lions uniform than he did in college. Driskel fakes a handoff to Scarbrough and WALKS into the end zone. That was ridiculous. Sean Lee is furious.




Cowboys march right back down the field — aided by another big Gallup catch — and score on an Elliott dive. They're back at it on the next drive with a deep pass to Cobb. Are they saying the ball crossed the plane before Cobb's knee hit? Apparently. And it actually looks like it did, so it's fine. 24-14 at the half. Driskel hits Marvin Hall for 39 yards to the Cowboys' 9. Feels like he scores on a  better throw. Touchdown to Marvin Jones! Driskel's shown more mobility than I remember seeing from him in college. Defense has taken a holiday. Field goal is good. 27-21 Cowboys. Scarbrough uses the pile to pick up 3rd and 1. Fake punt?




You can set your watch by Michael Bennett jumping offsides. Oh, somebody finally moved Logan Thomas to tight end like they should have done seven years ago. Drive stalls and the Lions punt for real. Oh, here's Cooper again. Screen to Elliott, who finds a lane, gets a block from Witten, and scores! Did Elliott pick that up off the turf? I guess not. Touchdown stands. Cowboys line up to go for two and Pollard gets it with some effort. DeMarcus Lawrence down. Marvin Jones breaks a tackle — will he make it? Yes! Lions go for two with 5:49 left. Nope. Cowboys blitzed and it was doomed from the start. Trey Flowers being helped off. Golladay with a big-time big play. Driskel SACKED. Did the Lions just punt? Why? Cowards. Dak finds Jarwin, who gets a block from Witten and picks up the first down to seal it. (Cowboys 35, Lions 27)

This will require an act of God. Eagles get the ball first with no Howard or Jeffery. Wentz throws deep and... Boston Scott? draws a pass interference flag. That might be the longest play from scrimmage for either team today. Elliott makes the field goal. Brady gets Aikman-level boos. Eagles force a three-and-out. An actual catch by Arceaga-Whiteside is nullified by an illegal man downfield penalty. Wentz overthrows Hollins. Is everyone wearing desert camo arm sleeves? Punt pins the Eagles at the 5. Wentz with a jump pass to Ertz, who leaks out and throws a couple stiff-arms. Tight end screen to Goedert, who rides some good blocking into Patriots territory. Wentz scrambles for seven as the quarter ends. Wild shift ends up with Jason Kelce in the slot. First down Sanders. Touch — WHAT? What the hell? Goedert caught it, went into the end zone, but Jonathan Jones yanked the ball out of his hands. They call it an interception and a touchback.




Romo's not sure. Replays look like Goedert was down in the end zone before losing the ball. Call REVERSED. TOUCHDOWN. Grugier-Hill almost had a pick. Darby with a play on a deep ball to Dorsett. N'Keal Harry with his first career catch. Mills tips a deep pass away from Edelman. When did the Eagles' cornerbacks suddenly acquire ball skills? Brady to Watson over the middle for 22 yards. Brady's been under a lot of pressure. Folk good from 35.




Wait, what? That's a problem. When would that even have happened? (We still don't know.) Scott fumbles the kickoff, the kicker almost recovers it, but it goes out of bounds. Wentz gets sacked. Sanu returns the punt into Eagles territory. Watson makes a diving catch at the Eagles' 4 with Maddox holding him the entire time. McLeod bails Brady out by dropping a sure interception. Brady misses the back on third down, and they kick a field goal. 10-6.




Wentz gets hit and fumbles, and the Patriots recover. Nobody's been good on offense this half, really. Folk is good from 39. Agholor wins a contested catch? Stop the presses. Ertz gets cut down after a seven-yard gain. Snap gets away from Wentz and he ends up taking another sack. Patriots call time? They rush the punt but Johnston gets it off. Halftime. Romo: "I expect more touchdowns." Burkhead breaks a tackle and goes for 30. EDELMAN WIDE RECEIVER PASS. Everyone was fooled and Dorsett will never catch an easier touchdown.




Nobody within ten yards of him. White rushes for the two-point conversion. Eagles' offense has done nothing since the touchdown, which was what I expected. Neither offensive line doing a great job in pass protection, either. Is this not a catch? Pederson wants to challenge, but the refs say that forward progress was stopped, and it's not reviewable. Punt pins the Eagles at their own 3. That went nowhere. Gerry gets to Brady for the Eagles' first sack. The punters have also had their bad moments.




Arceaga-Whiteside! He needs to be playing more. He can't be worse than what they've been running out there all season. Agholor doesn't usually catch those. Before this drive, there were TEN straight punts. Not one drive had more than seven plays. This is what they're up against. Don't give me hope. And Agholor can't find it. Like, he had no idea where the ball was.




Last-second pick doesn't matter. And it didn't even count. Don't act like this wasn't expected. (Patriots 17, Eagles 10)

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: 49ers 36, Cardinals 26

The Rams are without Cooks AND Woods tonight. This could pose problems.




But not right away, as the Bears will get the ball first. Big play from David Montgomery, which they haven't had enough of this season. Piniero misses left from 48. KICKERS. Gurley FUMBLES. Bears get it right back. This time the Bears pass on a 48-yarder to go for it on 4th and 9, but Gabriel drops it. Another Rams turnover, as Goff is intercepted by Roquan Smith, who somehow didn't go out of bounds. ANOTHER MISS. I swear Robbie Gould put a curse on this place after the Bears cut him.




The SNF DJ is UNDEFEATED. Gurley with a good run. Goff gets five on 3rd and 6. Zeuerlein BARELY makes it. 3-0 Rams. Collinsworth's assessment of Trubisky is correct, in my view: he's better on the move, and when he's not, his footwork has to be perfect or he'll do some truly bad things. He hits Miller on a nice slant to pick up a first down. Interception! Miller pushed off and the pass went off his hand and right to the defender. Goff goes deep to Kupp... touchdown! Actually, I don't think he got in. Let's look. Yeah, he's out of bounds. Call is changed to out of bounds at the 1, and Collinsworth points out that the Rams got lucky that they ruled it was out before he crossed the goal line, otherwise it would have been that stupid touchback rule. Gurley punches it in.




Trubisky takes a sack he can't take, even though nobody was open. They go for it on 4th and 10... but then they run the punt team on.




Rams go into halftime up 10-0. Amazing that the Rams are the second-worst 4th and short team in the league. If you had told someone that two years ago that would be the case, they'd ask you who your weed man was. And they're punting. Trubisky finds Miller over the middle again. Draw to Cohen gets a first down. Cohen beats his man to the sideline and makes a shoestring catch for a touchdown. Bears break out the six-man front again on 3rd and 1 and the Rams can't do anything with it. Then the Bears call a read option on 3rd and 1 and lose four. You know how nobody scored after midway through Patriots-Eagles? We could see the same thing here. Kyle Fuller drops an interception. Rams Mount Rushmore is Merlin Olsen, Deacon Jones, Marshall Faulk and Kurt Warner. Two very different pairs of guys there. Coverage leads to an Aaron Donald sack. But they got Troy Hill on a hold, so it'll give the Bears a first down.




Josh Reynolds has come up big for the Rams on a night where they've needed him to. Then he catches a touchdown pass but it's erased by an illegal formation penalty. Then Goff almost runs in to the motioning tight end on a handoff to Gurley. Reynolds comes back with another big play. Malcolm Brown? Malcolm Brown! Touchdown Rams. Chase Daniel in? Little late if it's just a "spark the offense" move. The offense... has not been sparked.




I'm not buying this hip injury excuse for Trubisky AT ALL. (Rams 17, Bears 7)

VIVA MEXICO.




Tessitore reminds us we are at altitude. Hunter Henry pops out for a 16 yard catch on the first play of the game. Then to Keenan Allen for 5. Chargers missing both starting tackles. Gordon picks up five on 3rd and 3. BIG catch and run by Ekeler. Allen makes a catch at the 9 but gets absolutely no further. Field goal is good. Mahomes just misses Hill deep. Not a great punt. Gordon with a big run. The Chiefs can't stop anyone. They do sniff out this screen that Pope dropped, so he wouldn't have gotten anywhere anyway. Field goal is... wide right. Mahomes takes off for 24 yards. Interception! Rayshawn Jenkins out-jumped DeMarcus Robinson. Allen turns Breeland into a pretzel and takes off for 30 yards. FUMBLE! Chiefs ball! They calling this an interception? Lot of divots on this field already.




Mike Williams goes up and appears to make the catch, but the ball comes out as he hits the ground. Honey Badger interception! Mathieu returns it to the Chargers' 6! Rivers has sucked out loud tonight. An "I" Formation? What century is this? Touchdown McCoy. Williams catches this one. Field goal is good. Mahomes throws off balance to Kelce, but he can't keep his feet inbounds. Butker makes this field goal. 10-6. Estadio Azteca is almost  half-mile higher than Mile High. Chargers moving backwards with penalties. Rivers checks down to Ekeler over the middle, then the Chargers forget they're out of time outs and almost don't spike it in time. So Badgley tries from 48 and it's good. 10-9 at halftime. I'll note now that Tyreek Hill hasn't played since the second series. That was wild and very typical Chargers; They get the interception, get lucky to retain a loose ball after it, then a penalty wipes the whole thing out. Mahomes didn't want to run there but he does. Watkins makes a move after the catch and gets 15 yards. McCoy puts a ridiculous fake on Michael Davis and is very lucky to recover his own fumble at the end. Davis's mother is Mexican, and her whole family is here. Touchdown Damian Williams. Kelce finds a hole in the middle of the field and breaks a couple tackles. Touchdown Kelce! Got both feet in and dragged a toe afterwards. Mathieu drops another interception. I mean, DROPS it.




Allen makes a jumping catch to salvage this drive. Touchdown Allen! Henry catches the two-point conversion and we got a game. Shady passes the 11,000-yard career rushing mark. Frank Clark blows up a run on 3rd and 1. Rivers barking at somebody, as usual. Chargers punt with 6:15 left. Nope, don't like that. Chargers get the stop they need when Melvin Ingram leaps to knock down Mahomes' third-down pass. 4:30 left. Chargers take a deep shot, then Gordon drops a pass. Rivers throws deep into coverage and it's... intercepted! Mahomes gets chased out of the pocket on third down, but still picks up 15 yards. The next third down doesn't go as well, as Mahomes gets sacked. Another chance for the Chargers. Henry converts 4th and 4. MIKE WILLIAMS. That's the best catch of the night. 50 yards!




Ball comes out on the next play but it's ruled a fumble. Gordon recovered it, but this review is for fumble or incompletion, which matters because of the clock. Call reversed to an incompletion, which actually helps the Chargers. Ekeler takes a screen 11 yards but can't get out of bounds. Rivers throws to the corner.., and it's intercepted by Sorenson!




crosses off Chargers (Chiefs 24, Chargers 17)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Green Bay (8-2) — Not a whole lot they don't do well
2. Seattle (8-2) — Not a whole lot they don't do well, either
3. New England (9-1) — I have CONCERNS
4. Baltimore (8-2) — Marcus Peters has been a sneaky great addition

BOTTOM 4:
29. N.Y. Giants (2-8) — Maybe rethink some things
30. Miami (2-8) — Welcome back
31. Washington (1-9) — Nowhere to go but sideways
32. Cincinnati (0-10) — This is going underreported
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