Saturday, December 28, 2019

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 15: Flips and Flops

Jets start as you'd expect. Hurst takes a shot but holds on to Jackson's first pass. SCRAMBLE. Snead with a 21-yard catch and the Ravens are already at the Jets' 25. Ingram bulls for a first down on 3rd and 1. Jackson breaks Vick's single-season quarterback rushing record — and gets nailed at the end of it. Ingram goes towards the corner — and makes it. Touchdown. Why wouldn't they call that an incomplete pass? Field goal is... short from 49. Replay shows someone got a finger on it. Bug run by Ingram helped by solid blocking. Jackson goes straight up the middle and there's nobody there for 15 yards, before he eventually gets out of bounds. Then he moves around a bit before slinging a sidearm throw to Boykin for a touchdown.




Another good kickoff return by the Jets. Big play from Crowder to get inside the Ravens' 10. He then DROPS a touchdown with no one hear him. Brutal. Then they say he caught this one even though he looked out of bounds. Looking at this replay, I think he drags the right toe. Yup. 13-7. Jackson can't be slowed down. This'll be pass interference. Touchdown gets called back. Then someone moves. That someone plays for the Jets.




Four plays later we get back to touchdown Mark Andrews. Ingram runs in untouched for the two-point conversion. Smith breaks a tackle and moves through traffic into Ravens territory. Darnold suddenly can't throw a pass past a Ravens defender. Jets going for it on 4th and 1 from the 7. Maybe. Clock runs down to two minutes, giving everyone involved time to re-think things. They do go for it, but the pass is broken up in the end zone. Jets get a stop on defense (!) and will get the ball back with decent field position. Darnold with a bad throw into traffic and he gets intercepted. Halfway through the third, Darnold gets sacked and fumbles. Ravens take over. Jackson goes for Hurst in the end zone but it's broken up. Touchdown Hollywood? I... don't think so, actually. Maybe it was down earlier, looking at the reverse angle? Call stands. 28-7 Ravens. Jets not doing much on offense any more. BANG! That's a great throw from Jackson and another touchdown. Jackson misses Andrews deep or it'd be 42-7 now. Punt is BLOCKED! TOUCHDOWN. Extra point is no good. Ficken won't be long for the Jets at this rate. Touchdown Ingram. There's still 10 minutes left? Mark Ingram's the best hype man in the business. ANY business. (Ravens 42, Jets 21)

Signal Finder: PHI @ WSH, MIN @ LAC, CHI @ GB (end), LAR @ DAL

Eagles don't get a stop until Haskins slips on third down and six. Brennaman wonders why they're punting. Two plays and the Eagles are off their 4 and near the 40. Scott fumbles, it's still out there somewhere, and the Eagles recover it. Sanders converts 3rd and 1. Imagine not covering Zach Ertz in this economy. "Uber?" Wentz dives for a first down. Miscommunication somewhere as Ertz and Arceaga-Whiteside end up in the same spot. Field goal is an anticlimactic ending to a good drive. Urban Meyer's here, sitting in Snyder's box chatting with Alex Smith, who he coached at Utah. He can get better jobs if he wants them. McLaurin toasts the Eagles AGAIN. Ertz down after a late hit on an uncatchable ball. Doesn't have to be a head shot to be cheap, Spielman. Nice run by Sanders, followed by a Goedert catch. Arceaga-Whiteside loses his grip on a touchdown pass. Not sure if that ball was hit on the way in or not. I think I'm with Spielman on this "low" hit on Wentz — it wasn't late and it wasn't really around his knees. Touchdown Sanders. Mills interferes with McLaurin because he damn sure can't cover him. Sims reaches out, keeps his feet inbounds and makes a nice catch on the sideline. Defensive holding wipes out a sack. Delayed read-option pitch (which seems to cross everyone up for a second) eventually goes to Peterson, who takes it to the Eagles' 7. Darby breaks up a pass in the end zone. Touchdown Sims!




That's a good throw by Haskins and Sims again did well to stay inbounds. Eagles drive goes nowhere. Sanders is the only speed the Eagles have on either side of the ball. They called a draw on 3rd and 7 and he picked it up. I thought the Beast Mode run was from the 7-9 Seahawks team that won the NFC West. High ball from Wentz goes through Ertz's hands. Chris Thompson gets a first down on 3rd and 4 off a screen. Someone make a tackle. Now what?




This last sequence has made little sense. They lost five yards, then got them back, and nothing seems to have changed. Punt pins the Eagles at their own 2. 14-10 Washington at halftime. Bad throw by Wentz doesn't get to Ward, who wouldn't have gotten the first down anyway.




Haskins getting looked at on the sideline after a third-down hit from McLeod. Wentz gets hit and fumbles. Jon Bostic picks it up, but starts dancing around and going backwards, and HE fumbles and the Eagles get it back! Spielman thinks this is an incomplete pass, and it looks like he's right. Call is changed to an incomplete pass. Scott picks up the third down. Wentz hits Ertz on the sideline, then overthrows him in the end zone. Scott picks up another first down. Wentz rolls out and fires it to Sanders in the back corner of the end zone! Brennaman thought it might have been intercepted at first. Nobody's signaled anything yet. Touchdown!




How did he get that through? That's nuts. Eagles get fooled by the option again, this time with Haskins keeping it and going for 20. Third quarter ends. Peterson scores untouched.




This may be the worst the Eagles have tackled all season. SANDERS. Somehow Ertz is open again and the Eagles retake the lead. Sims returns the kickoff to the 45. McLaurin finds a hole in the defense.  Eagles blitz and Sims drops a throw from Haskins. Hopkins drills it from 53 and we're tied. Wentz fumbles AGAIN and this time Washington recovers. I don't like that play call on 3rd and 2. Just run it. Drop by Sims leads Callahan to challenge a non-called pass interference. This ends the way you think it does. Haskins completes it to Sims, but he only gets nine. Field goal is good and Washington retakes the lead. Wentz finds Ward over the middle for a first down. Goedert with a diving one-handed catch! Brennaman wondering what the Eagles are planning, and if they're actually going to try to score a touchdown here. Wentz to Ward to the 5. 32 seconds left. TOUCHDOWN WARD!! What a catch.




That dude's been waiting for a shot for three years. Extra point is good. 26 seconds left. Thompson gets out of bounds at the Eagles' 45 with six seconds to go. Eagles blitz the Hail Mary attempt and get a strip sack, which Bradham runs back for a touchdown. Book the backdoor cover!




Semantics. BOOK IT. (Eagles 37, Redskins 27)




Apparently there's been some officiating bullshit in this one. We come in to a Packers' punt going out of bounds. Bears down eight with 28 seconds left. Hail Mary gets deflected twice out of the back of the end zone. Still one second. Now they try pitchy-pitchy woo-woo but it doesn't work, because it never does. But it should have! If dude sees Robinson and pitches it one more time, he scores! What a missed opportunity. crosses off Bears (Packers 21, Bears 13)

Weird that we're getting the late CBS game with the Eagles on the road. Officials debating this Irv Smith Jr. catch in the end zone. They decide it's a touchdown. Rivers goes deep to Mike Williams, who turns around and makes a leaping catch. Being the Chargers, they can't fully capitalize and they settle for three. Gordon fumbles at his own 11. Vikings take over and Bailey eventually converts. This drive is the best Rivers has looked in a couple of weeks. Rivers finds Ekeler down the sideline to the Vikings' 10. Touchdown Williams. FUMBLE. Cousins falls on it. Thielen! Kick is good and it's 12-10 Vikings. Ekeler fumbles, but Keenan Allen smartly dives and knocks the ball out of bounds. Rivers gets picked off. Then COUSINS gets picked off. Rivers gets chased down and gets the ball knocked out of his hands, then it bounces around, Ekeler has a shot at it but he can't corral it. BIG MAN TOUCHDOWN. Vikings take a 19-10 lead into halftime. Fumble? Fumble! First play of the second half, Gordon fumbles after catching the pass and it's Vikings ball! Field goal is good. 22-10 Vikings. Dalvin Cook won't be back, it sounds like. Rivers gets flagged for intentional grounding and that's a three-and-out. Vikings send Cousins on a bootleg on 3rd and 1. And he gets 14! This is borderline trolling. Another field goal extends the lead. Justin Jackson gets nothing on 3rd and 1. Hell, he loses a yard. Chargers go for it on 4th and 2 but the Vikings call time out. Rivers goes down field to Hunter Henry! Chargers facing a 4th and 9 and I'm not sure why they're going for it now. It's 4th and 14 after the penalty and I now hate that they're going for it. That pass wasn't even long enough. Vikings take over and Cousins immediately hits Rudolph for 22. Cousins lofts one to Diggs, who makes the catch at the Chargers' 10. Touchdown... Boone? Who? Mike Boone, whoever that is. I wonder if he knows Wes Hills. ANOTHER Chargers fumble, this time by Henry. Three Boone runs later and the Vikings have another touchdown. Another Chargers turnover, this time an interception by Rivers. This has fallen apart. ANOTHER one? Jebus. (Vikings 39, Chargers 10)

Goff badly misfiring early, but Robert Quinn gets hit with a holding penalty. Did the Cowboys sniff out a possible Rams fake punt? Buck mentions that a field goal attempt would be 59 yards just to mention it, I guess. Replay of the coin toss, for some reason. Wait, what? The Rams will get BOTH half kickoffs? Turns out the referee, Walt Anderson, asked Prescott (the Cowboys won the toss) what he wanted to do, and Anderson heard "kick." Because they didn't defer, the Rams got the choice, and they chose to receive the second half kickoff as well.




WHAT THE ACTUAL. That's something you'd expect from one of the Ohio teams. Or the Jets, even. Gurley gets nothing. Has Goff completed a pass yet? Elliott slips through a tackle and gets a first down. Offsetting penalties here? Yep. Cooper catches a high throw on 3rd and 10. Elliott runs wild and free. Witten with a one-handed grab for the touchdown! That might be his best catch ever. Legitimately. They're breaking that coin toss video down like the Zapruder film. Three's new audio. Dak DID say "defer." Did Anderson just not hear it? This is wild. Buck: "I never thought I'd ask you this question: Is the coin flip reviewable?" Pereira says it is not, but maybe we need to rethink how we do this. "I think what you have here is an issue of common sense."




Josh Reynolds with a 28-yard catch and run to end the first. HIGBEE. (It's just a good name to shout for no real reason.) Goff keeper doesn't work. Goff to Gurley for a touchdown. Tavon Austin had the entire left side of the field to himself. Two Rams defenders collided, Prescott got away from Dexter Fowler and "the play was over." Jarwin with a 20-yard catch. Pollard runs through a Clay tackle and picks up 25. Jarwin AGAIN. Fans exhort Garrett to go for it on 4th and short from the Rams' 7. Prescott sneaks and gets there. Touchdown Elliott. A nice sliding catch by Woods is wiped out by a holding call. Sean Lee picks off Goff and returns it to the 10! He was the only one with a chance to catch that pass. Elliott cashes in and it's 28-7. The Cowboys DO receive the second-half kickoff. Turns out the New York office stepped in. Elliott feasting on this Rams defense, which had been good against the run until today. Field goal is good. Goff gets sacked and loses about 10 yards. THERE'S the fake punt! This Thomas catch should stay Rams ball — he's down. Goff goes to Kupp for 11 yards. They're in field goal range. Gurley gets nothing. Rams go for it on 4th and 10 but Goff misses Cooks deep. Zeke takes a pass to about the Rams' 25. Another field goal by Forbath. Rams go three and out and this is officially out of hand. Pollard just put up a 44-yard touchdown run on these guys. Why hasn't this game ended yet? And why are we still watching it? (Cowboys 44, Rams 21)




Narrator: It did not stand. Then Julio Jones caught one! What do you MEAN, no? It's being reviewed. TOUCHDOWN FALCONS!! And then another pitchy-pitchy woo woo on the short kickoff? That's just asking for trouble. Oh my God.




(Falcons 29, 49ers 22)

The REAL last game in Oakland. For real this time! Really! (Why is it against the Jaguars? The old man would have demanded the Broncos.)




Does this go down differently if they don't blow it? I actually think it does. (Jaguars 20, Raiders 16)

FLEXING. Are we really doing a William & Mary connection here? The three (!) Edmunds brothers are a much better story. (Dad Ferrell was a Pro Bowl TE with the Seahawks during the 80's.)




Bills get the ball first. Allen just throws one out there and it's caught. Singletary gets stuffed. James Conner back. Johnson and Washington end up in the same spot on the sideline, and Johnson makes an acrobatic catch that is changed to a catch after some discussion. Looks like both feet are down. Hodges goes deep, but Washington's doubled and Tredavious White intercepts it. Mr. Rogers exhibit. (He was a Pittsburgher, y'know.) Cris has seen "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood." White down after a tackle. One of the worst punts you'll ever see right there. Allen takes off and loses the ball, but he's ruled down. Bills go for it on 4th and 6 and Allen completes it to John Brown. Scoreless after one. Apparently Chiefs-Bears is staying on SNF next week. (They were kind of stuck because Cowboys-Eagles is a bad game and FOX would have protected it anyway, especially since NBC already had their first meeting.) Singletary with a patient run to get to the 1. Allen punches it in. Washington makes a tough catch against Hyde for 35. Boswell's field goal is good. I don't know what you're waiting for, Cris. Tomlin's Coach of the Year and it's not all that close. (I have McDermott second and Shanahan third.) Watts comparison graphic. I think JJ's missed as many seasons as TJ's played, though. Beasley can't handle Allen's pass, and it gets tipped to Steven Nelson for an interception! There was an earlier graphic about how none of the Bills receivers are over six feet tall. The Newtown football team's in-studio? That's great. Steelers fumble and the Bills recover! That was a direct snap to Conner which was low, then they botched the handoff to Johnson. That was doomed from the start. Halftime! Steelers get lucky to recover that Johnson fumble after a good pickup. They've missed Conner on offense. Conner catches a swing pass, lowers his shoulder, and scores.
Singletary fumbles and the Steelers have it. Hodges dives for a first down. Steelers pick up the blitz but White picks off Hodges again! Big return coming. Out at the Steelers' 18. Collinsworth compares him to Stephon Gilmore, who he basically replaced. Bills losing yards now. T.J. Watt busts up the draw play on third down. Field goal ties it. Bills jump offside while the Steelers are punting on 4th and 3, but the refs rule they were drawn off. Allen goes deep to Brown. Touchdown Tyler Kroft? OK then. Johnson pulls a sweet spin move on a screen pass to pick up a first down. Steelers throw deep on 3rd and 1 and they find Washington for 32! Suddenly it's 3rd and 20. They get about 13. Two minute warning. Intercepted in the end zone! That might be it. That penalty against the Bills stops the clock, even though the Steelers correctly declined it. Wow. Not the greatest punt. Steelers have 1:31 left. THAT penalty will move the ball into Bills territory. Johnson converts 3rd and 8 and gets out of bounds. 39 seconds left. Can't get sacked, Duck. Hodges rolls left and heaves it up — and it's picked off. THAT'S it.




The Bills are in the playoffs again! And I'm no longer sure they can't go into Foxboro and win on Saturday. (Bills 17, Steelers 10)

"The Saints won the toss. They clearly said that they defer." Tess out here firing shots. BLOCKED PUNT. Brees is two behind Peyton for all-time touchdown passes. (And one behind Brady, who, at his current pace, may stay there.) Completion to Thomas (who is the only one who catches balls for this team) is a three yards short. Field goal is good. Colts get this punt off. Baby steps. I mean, double Michael Thomas. It's not a difficult concept. Latavius Murray takes a screen for another first down. Scuffle gets broken up without incident. Touchdown to Thomas. He's singlehandedly shredding this Colts secondary.




That's the best catch of the night so far. One-handed on the sideline? You kidding me? Where's Alvin Kamara? Brees goes to Smith in the end zone but misfires. Smith wants a flag, and gets one for defensive holding. Brees goes to Smith again, and this time it's for a touchdown. 17-0. Now he's tied with Peyton. (Smith's the guy who caught the pass that broke the yardage record last year, too.) Colts have done nothing tonight. I'm surprised they're near midfield. Super Bowl XLIV highlights. Brees and punter Thomas Morestead are still on the Saints! (The other two still-active players from that game are Malcolm Jenkins and Antoine Bethea.) Jared Cook comes back to the ball and Brees is 16-for-17. Goal-to-go with 45 seconds left. Saints don't call time out. Brees scrambles and hits... SMITH. But it's coming back because of OPI. AND there's only seven seconds left. Kamara goes down at the 15, which means the Saints will have to settle for a field goal.




"Ref, you suck!" chant. These people want to go home. Lutz makes it 20-0 at halftime. Oh, here's Kamara. Another catch by Thomas. Pass to Taysom Hill is the 19th in a row. And the 20th is to Josh Hill for the touchdown record. 27-0 and it's time to check back in on Mavericks-Bucks. (Bucks have closed it to seven.) The Saints claimed Janoris Jenkins, who the Giants waived for some bullshit. Colts look utterly disjointed. That loss to the Bucs last week may have broken them.  They've crossed midfield and are going for it on 4th and 8. They go deep but the pass is knocked away. That's the deepest pass route I've ever seen Taysom run. Touchdown! I start pulling starters here. The Saints can still get the 1 seed! Brees has also set the single-game completion percentage record. crosses off Colts How the hell does McShay have a mock draft already? We don't even know the order! (Saints 34, Colts 7)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Baltimore (12-2) — That was easy enough
3. Seattle (11-3) — Really messing with the "West Coast teams don't win 1 p.m. EST starts" thing
3. San Francisco (11-3) — Just a brutal beat
4. New Orleans (11-3) — A walk in the park

BOTTOM 4:
29. Detroit (3-10-1) — You fired Jim Caldwell for THIS?
30. N.Y. Giants (3-11) — I'm gonna miss that big lug
31. Miami (3-11) — Narrator: No, they were not heating up
32. Cincinnati (1-12) — Sacrificial lambs
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