Sunday, November 17, 2013

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 9: Salvage Ops


Then a game-ending safety in overtime. That's the most Bengals way to lose ever. (Dolphins 22, Bengals 20, OT)

Signal Finder: SD @ WAS, PHI @ OAK, PIT @ NE

As well as things had been going for the Saints up until this game, what's gotten lost is that Marques Colston, who sat today out, has not had a good season.It's weird to say that Brees threw for 382 yards and was somehow held in check. A reverse to a tight end on 4th and short? The Saints on the road, man...

(Jets 26, Saints 20)

All that and it gets blocked. That's unfortunate. The Redskins have been getting owned on special teams so far — that and two punts downed at the 1. Wait, what? Touchdown! The deflection hit another Charger in the back. Then the Redskins almost fumble the ensuing kickoff? This'll end badly. Now we got a Rivers interception and a donnybrook and flags all over the place.


Rivers has had to survive his pocket breaking down a few times already. I just saw the worst offensive pass interference call ever. Oh my goodness.

Isn't Griffin tall enough to avoid getting his throws deflected like that? I'm not sure why Fouts is advocating they run out the clock if they think they can move the ball and get into field goal position. Of course it has to work... ANOTHER block? Somebody needs to get fired. That's a fantastic catch by Garcon and the worst defensive pass interference ever. Was he in? That's close. Nope, he didn't quite make it. If at first you don't succeed...That's how you finish off a nine-minute drive. Take note, yourselves. Keenan Allen may have just dropped a touchdown. WOLFPACK CIVIL WAR. Dude made a flying leap to pick that one. Hey, this kick didn't get blocked! PROGRESS. Shanahan challenging this Woodhead play and he might have a case here — the ball's definitely coming out. Or not. And the Chargers end up in the end zone. Not sure why the Redskins are setting up for an onside kick here... there's plenty of time for the Chargers to get the ball back. Why not run the ball here, Chargers? Still enough time. Hey Redskins? NICE COVERAGE. There was no one within five yards of Allen. Kid is clowning these fools right now. Rivers on the run is a hilarious sight. They gave Woodhead that touchdown? I don't think he made it. He sure didn't. What's with this play calling? Terrible. Two bad passes by Rivers and the Chargers have to kick it. Overtime! The Redskins are running down the field. That's not a penalty either.




By the same token, the Chargers' play calling cost them this game. (Redskins 30, Chargers 24, OT)


Between this and the Redskins game, the NFC East averted disaster this week. (Cowboys 27, Vikings 23)


Maybe they should move to Candlestick. Eagles defer the kickoff, which is probably the right choice. RAIDERS PENALTIES. Eagle bring the blitz and no one's left in coverage. Wait... did you guys see that? Did you see what just happened? Trent Cole got a sack! Then the Eagles run into the punter and give up a first down. Why is Kurt Coleman still in the league? Also, former special teams coach Bobby April is in this building. Good job by Nate Allen to run down Pryor after that prolonged rollout, and I mean that. Holy crap, Cooper showing off the wheels again. Is it just me or is the offense running at its optimal speed for the first time in a few weeks? Touchdown and it'll stand. Foles looked good. Holy crap Rod Streater. Allen holding on to his jersey for about 15 yards is the only thing that saved them there. And Cary Williams gets bailed out by holding on the Raiders offensive line. You don't really need to hold Brandon Graham, my man. Has Pryor stayed in the pocket once yet?




John Madden in the house! And a Bryce Brown sighting! And he went up the middle! Truly a stunning development. Whoa, from here that looked like Cooper wasn't inbounds but it turns out he got it. Nice throw by Foles. Earl Wolff could have killed Pryor there. DeSean should return punts forever. He shouldn't do that, though. D.J. Hayden is getting used and abused.

And bear in mind that man watched last year's Eagles. Terrelle Pryor is really fast, guys. The Eagles were looking out of sorts until DeSean got free for the first down. The pace of this game, though. Celek should have been stopped before he got the first down and he got 15 more yards. Ertz! That's his first one, right? Running into the kicker? Hmmm. 4th and 1 now... does Chip roll the dice and go for it? I thought he might try it Well, if anyone can be drawn offsides in this spot, it's the Raiders. Boykin tripped himself out of a touchdown maybe. So they called that a backward pass? Sure. That's... not roughing the passer. Put it on the board! This is madness. That's the second Raiders defensive back to fall down and give up a touchdown. Hey, they finally stopped Cooper! I guess they gotta use that torch for something. Gruden lit it a couple years ago, which seems really strange. Why are the Raiders running the ball down 29 points? That's an amazing throw by Foles and Hayden actually covered Jackson pretty well this time. Cooper AGAIN. He can't be stopped OR contained.

The Raiders aren't this bad. Right? That almost-fumble by Pryor makes me realize that we haven't had any turnovers yet. THE VERY NEXT PLAY. That was tipped and should have been caught. Pryor hesitated and was lost. Is Foles going back out there to try to get the record? Who owns a Jim McMahon Eagles jersey? Besides that guy, obviously. Another deflection leads to another pick. They pulled Foles? BOOOOOO. Pryor walking off also means that we're getting a MATT McGLOIN sighting soon. And there that is. Amazing he's on an NFL roster and a tribute to Bill O'Brien, who turned him into a Division I quarterback.

EVER. (Eagles 49, Raiders 20)

Gronk is a giant. Polamalu jumped offside. That guy didn't get in — they better review this. Good reversal. Wow, the Steelers stopped them. Nice work. And then Ben is pressured, throws a crappy pass and it gets intercepted. And Amendola scores immediately. Where's the coverage? I turn back and the Steelers somehow have a 3rd and 30 and almost pick it up. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? They're going for it. And they didn't get it. That's a hell of a spot. I didn't think he was close. Simms: "I'm a pretty conservative guy when it comes to these fourth down decisions..." YOU DON'T SAY. The Pats made up for the last one by stopping this one. BALANCE! Why does LeGarrette Blount return kickoffs? He's not fast at all. The Steelers' secondary is getting torn apart. This is ridiculous. Antonio Brown got free and kept the Steelers in this game for the immediate future. Of course, now Brady's going back to work. You can set your watch by it. Steelers needed that turnover. They didn't need that sack. Nice recovery! Bell is the Steelers' best player. Cotchery again! Seriously, is it 2008? Foxborough-area barns are on fire right now. Can I state again how horrible the Steelers' secondary has been today? It's like they can't see these guys. Why'd the Steelers cut Mesko? Especially before this game? Brady's gone into MurderDeathKill mode and is making this defense look older than it already is (and it already looked old) This was historically bad. I mean really. Look it up. (Patriots 55, Steelers 31)


This line (Colts by 2) is WAY too low. That is EXACTLY what the Texans needed. Apparently we're not going to cover receivers tonight. Nope, still not bothering.

How many blocked field goals have there been today? And a return on top of it! Watt got that one, too? McAfee getting that punt off after all that may be the most impressive thing that happens tonight. And the re-kick was almost blocked! Flag? Anyone? Good job, Al, for pointing that out. CASE KEENUM HAS BROUGHT ANDRE JOHNSON BACK FROM THE DEAD. Whoa! I recognize those horns!



Was that HUGE cheer for Bush 41? Is he on screen? The Texans are as jacked as the Colts were against the Broncos. The Colts aren't helping themselves with all of these drops. How is that not a fumble? Pagano should have challenged that. Well that kick wasn't even close. Yeah, that's interference — Jackson pulled him down. This is the best chance the Colts have had all night but they cannot protect Luck. Sure, kick the field goal, why not. That's ALSO a fumble and it should stand. I mean, I can't overturn it, if that's what you're asking. Oh WOW.


The Colts are stunned. That's two fumbles they probably should have gotten. Johnson just dropped a third touchdown. This kid runs, too?! And there's Johnson again with a makeup catch — the defender mistimed his jump.

What the... what? They're taking Gary Kubiak off on a stretcher? Good Lord. Hope he's all right, especially on the heels of the John Fox news from the weekend. You know who's not having a good game is Andrew Luck. The Colts' two biggest plays have been Texans penalties and Houston's defensive front is destroying everything in its path. Hilton lost his shoe and gained a touchdown. Nice grab by DeAndre Hopkins.

MISDIRECTION. Keenum's all "Oh, look! Green for days!" Does Ben Tate always run only to the right side? The Texans should probably invest in a kicker. THE HILTON IS OPEN FOR CHECK-IN. (Did I do that right?) Challenge this, Chuck. CHALLENGE IT. There you go. Well, looking at it, it's a catch. But you still have to challenge it. What is going ON down there?!?! The officiating has been brutal tonight. Finally, Luck's getting time. Colts take the lead! Then Luck throws into double coverage and Fleener somehow comes down with it for the two-point conversion. All right, now what? This is just inexperience here. Oh God... they're asking this guy to make a 55-yarder when he's already missed two tonight?


Not even close. Told you that line was too low. (Colts 27, Texans 24)

Ah, the classics. Rodgers took a hard hit on that sack. Why would you try to fake a reverse to somebody besides Devin Hester? Rodgers is going into the locker room? Can Matt Flynn be signed and activated by halftime? The Packers' current backup is Seneca Wallace, and that was a long road just to get to that point. And if Rodgers can't go, this becomes a lot more interesting.

Marshall just dropped a touchdown. He caught that one, though.

Julius Peppers may be slowing down but he can still do some things. Terrible throw by Wallace, though — Peppers was right in front of him. SPECIAL TEAMS. Did Conte just not feel like tackling Starks there? When did Martellus Bennett stop sucking? That was too close. Forte! Fantasy points for me! Get out of there, McCown. Which one are you, even? Josh, right? Michael Bush may be the best backup running back in the league. Tim Jennings isn't bringing down Eddie Lacy by himself. Good Lord that hole was massive.
ONSIDE KICK. That may be the Packers' best shot now because Wallace has looked like a guy who hasn't played in two years. It should be noted that the Bears are so thin on their defensive line, they signed Jay Ratliff, who was cut by the equally DL-deficient Cowboys and is currently injured.

DON'T EVEN JOKE. Josh McCown is tearing things up. What world is this? I mean, if you're the Bears, don't you have to cover Nelson to the exclusion of everything else right now? Getting conflicting reports on Rodgers — some say separated shoulder, some aren't saying anything. Fourth and 1, 7:50 left, the Bears have a decision to make. They're going for it! Or at least they're not punting. Don't get fancy! Whew, Forte made it. Marshall's dropped a few tonight. And now they've chewed up five minutes of clock. Why hasn't McCarthy called time out yet? Ah, there it is. Bears up seven now. Homeboy just did the robot after a sack. What happens if something happens to Wallace? (Bears 27, Packers 20)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Kansas City (9-0):

2. Denver (7-1): Wait and see
3. Seattle (8-1): Did you really think the Bucs were going to pick them off in their building?
4. San Francisco (6-2): Beware

BOTTOM 4:
29. Pittsburgh (2-6): It's BAD, folks
30. Minnesota (1-7): On the receiving end of a Romo
31. Tampa Bay (0-8): You were waiting for them to screw it up
32. Jacksonville (0-8): Would L.A. even want this franchise?

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