Back in the Game

"You know what? I should start playing poker again."

That's a thought I had about a week or so ago when I realised that I needed something to do when I'm not working other than sleep, eat, kill time on Facebook, and not blog.

So I've started playing online again. And I've been amusing myself with the North American Poker League qualifying freerolls on Pokerstars. They're six-handed double shootouts - six players play until there's one left, then the survivors play for a ticket into the daily main tournament.

Something those unfamiliar with poker, especially poker that you don't actually have to pay money to play, is that players tend to do... strange things. In freerolls like this, along with bustos like myself, you have people who are just having fun and people who genuinely don't know what they're doing. So you get a lot of this:

Hand 1:

Poker Stars Freeroll No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t10/t20 Blinds - 6 players

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BTN: t1500 75 BBs

Hero (SB): t1500 75 BBs

BB: t1500 75 BBs

UTG: t1500 75 BBs

MP: t1500 75 BBs

CO: t1500 75 BBs

Pre Flop: (t30) Hero is SB with Q K

1 fold, MP raises to t1500 all in, 4 folds

Final Pot: t50

MP wins t50

No one called in this spot, but you'd be amazed at the hands you see when people do call. So after the first hand, we're still six-handed, which is an upset in and of itself.

Two hands later I picked up Aces. (Don't worry, this doesn't end the way a poker story that starts with "...I picked up Aces" usually ends.) I raise and get three callers. The flop comes 10-8-3 with two hearts and the small blind bets. The guy next to him folds. I raise and immediately start talking to the computer screen. I'm saying out loud, "Fold. You need to fold. You really need to fold."

The next player goes all in. Now it's back to the bettor and I'm apoplectic. "You don't have anything. Trust me. Fold. Don't do this to yourself. FOLD!"

He doesn't fold either.

Poker Stars Freeroll No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t10/t20 Blinds - 6 players

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

MP: t1500 75 BBs

Hero (CO): t1470 73.50 BBs

BTN: t1470 73.50 BBs

SB: t1550 77.50 BBs

BB: t1510 75.50 BBs

UTG: t1500 75 BBs

Pre Flop: (t30) Hero is CO with A A

2 folds, Hero raises to t60, BTN calls t60, SB calls t50, BB calls t40

Flop: (t240) T 8 3 (4 players)

SB bets t280, BB folds, Hero raises to t700, BTN raises to t1410 all in, SB raises to t1490 all in, Hero calls t710 all in

Turn: (t4470) 3 (3 players - 3 are all in)

River: (t4470) 2 (3 players - 3 are all in)

Final Pot: t4470

Hero shows A A (two pair, Aces and Threes)

BTN shows J 9 (a pair of Threes)

SB shows 8 4 (two pair, Eights and Threes)

Hero wins t4470

The real upset here is that my Aces held.

Now at this point, we're down to three players at my first-round table. This goes on for a while, and I soon realize that the guy on my right doesn't seem to know that he can move the bet slider to the right, or even that he can type a number in the box next to it, if he wants to bet more than the minimum on every street. I've abused this tendency of his several times to my benefit and have a decent chip lead when I get dealt two Kings on the button.

So I raise, the small blind calls and the big blind re-raises the same amount. I re-pop it (for more than the amount I raised to start with), the small blind calls and the big blind apparently figures out what that slider's for, as he moves all-in. OK, whatever. So since I have two Kings, I push all my chips in to get the third player out of the hand.

But he doesn't fold right away.

And here I go again. "Fold. Fold! You can't call this bet. You don't have me beat and you know you don't have me beat. I'm telling you this for your own good. FOLD."

I'm clearly too nice a person to play this game. I mean, I'm sitting here, yelling at the screen, knowing they can't hear me, and trying to get them to do something that I know is not in my best interest... for the second time in the match.

Poker Stars Freeroll No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t15/t30 Blinds - 3 players

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BB: t1100 36.67 BBs

Hero (BTN): t4955 165.17 BBs

SB: t2945 98.17 BBs

Pre Flop: (t45) Hero is BTN with K K

Hero raises to t100, SB calls t85, BB raises to t170, Hero raises to t390, SB calls t290, BB raises to t1100 all in, Hero raises to t4955 all in, SB calls t2555 all in

Flop: (t6990) K Q 2 (3 players - 3 are all in)

Turn: (t6990) J (3 players - 3 are all in)

River: (t6990) 3 (3 players - 3 are all in)

Final Pot: t6990

BB shows A 7 (high card Ace)

Hero shows K K (three of a kind, Kings)

SB shows Q 9 (a pair of Queens)

Hero wins t3690

Hero wins t3300

Final table, here I come.