By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 12: Unstuffed

That's a different start. I'd like to think that if Aaron Rodgers had an actual turkey with him on the bomb to Driver that he had enough time to gut it, stuff it and tie it off before throwing down there and yelling “It's ready, Don! Put it in the oven!” I was just about to say that at least the Lions weren't thoroughly embarrassing themselves like they did last year but Stafford just threw another interception. Is Woodson really having that good a season? Huh. Things have officially taken a turn. The challenge on the safety was... different. There has been some extremely questionable playcalling down at these goal lines. For the last example, why kick the field goal now? I feel like if the Lions drafted nothing but defense next year there'd be little cause to complain. Time for roast chicken! (Packers 34, Lions 12)

Really, Mom? You've got Christmas dinner decided already? I'm pretty sure that's a record. As for the matter at hand, this is how you beat bad teams: you knock them down early. (You'll remember the bad feeling I had about Eagles-Raiders right after Miller broke that long touchdown to start that game.) Also, who thought it would be a good idea to put the Raiders in this spot when they were terrible last year and you figured the Chargers were probably going to be good? Bad job by the schedule makers. This was nice and everything but I still don't trust the Cowboys to not screw this up. (Cowboys 24, Raiders 7)

I don't remember having to turn the board every time it was someone else's turn. Or at least doing it so often. See, I never make the “form two words at one time” play so I don't know how to do it. That's why I asked for the rules and read them over for about three minutes. So I started the second game with one of the V's. Then I drew the X. Then I drew the K. Then I drew the J. Those were the first four plays. (Broncos 26, Giants 6; Me 2, Parents 0, NFL Network -1)

Signal Finder: WSH @ PHI, KC @ SD, JAX @ SF (most of second half)

Well. Haven't seen that in a while. And of course all the armchair analysts will decry it as a foolish gamble when they would all be saying how brilliant it was if it had worked. (Aside: A couple of Redskins players told Howard Eskin afterward that they knew it was coming because one of the Eagles was lined up in a different spot than usual. We didn't buy it, and as David Akers said, if that was the case, why did they all back up eight yards just before the kick?) I see “cover DeSean Jackson” is still not in the Redskins' game plan. Although I'm not sure if that was worse than Trotter and Harris just standing there while Santana Moss scooted in unencumbered. How about getting a stop on third down, huh? Just once. That's all I ask. I mean, Fred Davis? You can't stop Fred Davis one time? You cannot telegraph your throws when Asante Samuel's on the field – he and Ed Reed might be the best route-jumpers in the league. Celek's having an awful game. The Eagles are noticeably running the ball more than usual. Big stop by the Eagles' D after the Tryon interception where McNabb got blindsided right as he threw it. Eldra Buckley? Really? The fans are booing this time out but I don't think McNabb was getting the play in through his helmet. He was tapping his helmet and shaking his head right before that. Wow! How did McCoy keep his balance? I was sure he was down. Now they have to go ahead. Smart by McNabb to slide there – an incompletion stops the clock and the Redskins get to save their last time out. Kick it! Now can the Redskins rally? Of course not. Have you not been paying attention the last five years? (Eagles 27, Redskins 24)

I don't understand why Delhomme isn't limited to 20 pass attempts maximum at this point. The Panthers are at their best when they run the ball, they have two starting-caliber running backs and a quarterback who looks like the first football player to come down with Steve Blass disease. Although that first one Steve Smith 1.0 was simply blissfully unaware of. Meanwhile, Sanchez's regression to the mean continues, but I think this week he went up. I have two words for Panthers fans: Dan. LeFevour. (Jets 17, Panthers 6)

I'm Sorry You Had To See That: Seahawks 27, Rams 17

Jet: “Do you think Matt Leinart wakes up in a cold sweat with nightmares of Vince Young?” Also it's high time to add Chris Johnson to the MVP candidates list. (Titans 20, Cardinals 17)

As great as Peterson is, that happens way too much. PRO TIP: When defending against the pass, TURN AROUND. Why is Jared Allen getting interceptions? Much like last week the Bears don't seem to be letting Cutler take many chances deep. Because that's what happens. Oh, the rout is on. I think one of the popcorn vendors just caught a pass. (Vikings 36, Bears 10)

That rushing list graphic is hilarious because Tomlinson could pass about five guys today. Have I really not said “PROTECT THE FOOTBALL” up until now? Good thing, I guess. As it was, LDT only passed Marcus Allen and Edge James. And who knew Edge James was ahead of Marcus Allen? (Chargers 43, Chiefs 14)

Also, many thanks to CBS for switching us to this game after everything happened. (49ers 20, Jaguars 3)

Ah, that's a shame. Dixon was playing pretty well before that. (Ravens 20, Steelers 17, OT)

Game of the Year of the Week. That dome is rocking. DOINK! You don't get to 10-0 without a few of those. Going for it again, Belichick? You gonna call a better play this time? Hey, a man in the backfield. Already an improvement. And a touchdown, even. How 'bout that. The Saints have a punter? Interesting. Wow. Gruden said no more than 15 minutes ago that you have to know where Henderson is on the field. As one of the Saints' radio announcers said, he could have done the backstroke into the end zone. I hated the Meachem draft pick when it happened (I thought they absolutely should have gone defense, possibly Aaron Ross) but he's found himself too after a rough start. This game doesn't feel as close as it is. I think it may finally be time to say that the Patriots' defense is no longer what it was either. (The Seymour trade still baffles me, and Derrick Burgess, effectively his replacement, hasn't done anything.) Nate: “How many times can you say you went to bed early because the Patriots were getting blown out?” Brady didn't even know what the score was afterward. (Saints 38, Patriots 17)

FANTASY REPORT

aPaFL (7-5, W3, clinched playoff berth): Here's how bad our commissioner's team is this year: I had Favre on my bench (because the Browns' defense is as bad or worse than the Bears' and I didn't figure on the Bengals not throwing a single pass) and I still beat him by 34 points. Six playoff spots are set and I play one of the 6-6 teams next week.

JackSux (9-3, L1, clinched playoff berth): We didn't have enough to beat Rob this week but we're still in first place with a two-game lead.

Lincoln Continentals (10-3, W4): Now we're in first place all by ourselves.

RANKINGS

TOP 4

1. New Orleans (11-0) – Back into the groove

2. Indianapolis (11-0) – crosses off Texans

3. Minnesota (10-1) – Favre currently making us all look like fools

4. San Diego (8-3) – That's six in a row, folks

BOTTOM 4

29. Oakland (3-8) – Averaging 10 points a game. 10!

30. Detroit (2-9) – Like holiday fruitcake

31. St. Louis (1-10) – Add injuries to Rams' list of woes

32. Cleveland (1-10) – Peter King: “I think Brady Quinn has the best hands on the team.”