Thursday, December 17, 2009

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 14: Shock and Awe

Two things I can't get over right now: How bad Brady Quinn is playing, and how bad the Steelers' offensive line is. Are you kidding me? Looks like it's time to re-open voting for NFL Upset of the Decade. Also, the ultimate question has finally been answered: the Madden cover curse is more powerful than the Super Bowl losers' curse. crosses off Steelers (Browns 13, Steelers 6)

Signal Finder: CIN @ MIN, NO @ ATL, GB @ CHI (end), CAR @ NE (end), SD @ DAL

The Colts – Peyton Manning specifically – usually destroy the Broncos, so for them to hang in there the way they did was a good sign. Let's put Brandon Marshall's day in perspective: He caught 21 passes. The Colts caught 20. (Colts 28, Broncos 16)

It's funny to hear the Panthers' DBs talking about how they think Moss slowed down when they lost and Wes Welker absolutely lit them up. Belichick: “They haven't won a lot of games this year.” (Patriots 20, Panthers 10)

As beatable as the Saints have looked at times, they still haven't been beaten. That says a lot. (Saints 26, Falcons 23)

Ah, Winfield's back. That'll help. Except for somehow losing track of Chad on the touchdown, this game's been more about the Vikings' defense shutting down the Bengals' passing game than anything else. I worry about the Bengals' offense at this point. Chad doesn't stretch the field like he used to. (Vikings 30, Bengals 10)

It's the unstoppable force versus the extremely movable object. WILD FROG. The thing about the Chargers' receivers is they don't have blazing, afterburner-type speed, but they're big, strong and tough and it almost isn't worth trying to be more physical than them. And there's another red-zone failure by the Cowboys. They obviously don't trust Folk right now but nobody else is giving them any kind of lift in those situations. And they were so effective running the ball on that drive. Must be that unimaginative play calling that Cowboys fans have been complaining about the last two years, and how do they not run a play fake at any point? Something I noticed going through the box scores: there have been a lot of missed kicks today. Was that a blown coverage? Either way, a sweet drive by Romo and company that actually ends with points for once. Man, if Rivers doesn't step up into the pocket, the Ware injury doesn't happen because Ware would have gotten him. Gates to the corner... touchdown. And after that touchdown, the Cowboys had the ball for about 3½ minutes the rest of the game. This is how the downward spiral continues. Also, how many points did the Cowboys leave on the field? Ten? Thirteen? That's not gonna get it done. (Chargers 20, Cowboys 17)

Did Seabass really try a 66-yarder? I see the benching hasn't helped Russell any. (Redskins 34, Raiders 14)

It's the state of the NFL these days that on the fumble return touchdown, Brown slowed down and turned around because it all seemed too easy. I mean, it was an obvious fumble but you're never sure if there's gonna be a flag of some kind. Aw, Trotter. You gotta bring that one in. Manningham's route-running... needs work. Hakeem Nicks will not be thanking his hands. He should be thanking his moves. See, the Eagles need to have McNabb and Vick on the field together more often, though that play would have worked better if Vick had started on the other side. Okay, after seeing the Jackson punt return seven times I just noticed that on his first cut, he looks like he's just sliding. The best thing that can happen to the Giants is their running game making a comeback. Looks like this is gonna be one of those games. Going for it on 4th down has become an epidemic. Terrible tackling on the Hixon touchdown. And equally terrible coverage on the Jackson bomb. Michaels: “This is like a street game.” That's the shortest flea-flicker you'll ever see. Watching Eli on the escape/dump to Bradshaw reminded us all that the most underrated part of the David Tyree Super Bowl catch was Eli using all the minimal mobility he had to not get sacked on the back end. Manningham's route-running... really needs work. Wow, that's close. I couldn't overturn it. And they do! That's why I don't have that job. Goodbye, Meadowlands. Apparently the Giants' defense couldn't wait to leave. (Eagles 45, Giants 38)

Programming Note: For you Sunday night owls who have NFL Network but not Red Zone, the Network replays Red Zone at 4 a.m. Eastern so you can see what Gates has been raving about.

I'm not gonna say it again. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Nate: “If the Bears are who we thought they were, who the hell are the Cardinals?” (49ers 24, Cardinals 9)

FANTASY REPORT

aPaFL: The other fallout from the Steelers' complete and utter failure was me getting knocked out of the playoffs by DeSean Jackson, of all people. With Willis McGahee and his two touchdowns sitting on my bench (because who figured the Ravens would dig him out of mothballs to help them destroy the Lions on the ground?) Charlie beat me by slightly more than a point.

JackSux6 (10-4, W1): I held on to beat the Lunatics... only to draw them in the playoffs, which start this week.

Lincoln Continentals: I did get some revenge on Charlie here, knocking him out of his own league's playoffs. Thanks, Ahmad Bradshaw! Well, sort of.

RANKINGS

TOP 4

1. New Orleans (13-0) – Entirely too close a call

2. Indianapolis (13-0) – Par for the course

3. San Diego (10-3) – Probably playing the best of all the top teams

4. Minnesota (11-2) – An unremarkable performance, but back on track

BOTTOM 4

29. Tampa Bay (1-12) – Building a new ship is hard

30. Detroit (2-11) – These rumors about trading Megatron need to stop

31. Cleveland (2-11) – They've almost gotten worse QB production in their wins than their losses

32. St. Louis (1-12) – Somebody named Keith Null started at quarterback? Really?


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