Signal Finder: CLE @ CIN; GB @ TB; FLA @ NYM; DEN @ KC (end); WSH @ DAL
I don't have kids - and maybe that's the reason for what I'm about to say - and I can't imagine how Matt Bryant's doing this. This game's had a ridiculous number of swings. Wait, Flynn's in? I thought Brohm was the main backup. Not that it matters since none of the Packers' QBs have played more than eight games, but Flynn popping up there was not something anyone expected. (Buccaneers 30, Packers 21)
Um, when people thought they might see a quarterback change in this game, I doubt they were figuring it'd be the Bengals. Man. This game is terrible. I mean, it's really bad. OMG Chad scored a touchdown! He should have about four against this bunch. They've gotta be freezing him out. It's the only explanation. (Browns 20, Bengals 12)
I guarantee this wouldn't have happened if Elway wasn't marrying an ex-Raiders cheerleader. There should be a hole in space-time because of that, right? (Chiefs 33, Broncos 19)
I don't understand how Schoeneweis was allowed to park at the stadium, much less pitch in the eighth inning, especially to a guy who comes off the Marlins' bench seemingly for the sole purpose of hitting home runs. I don't know what the Shea Stadium equivalent of slicing rolls at Tony Luke's (which is what I'm convinced the Phillies had Adam Eaton doing last September) is, but he should have been doing that. (Marlins 4, Mets 2)
PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. I'M SERIOUS. This is how it's ended everywhere else for Warner. Meanwhile, Favre can't be stopped, and the Cardinals just got pwned on that play fake that the Jets went to Coles on. GUNSLINGER. Thirty-four points in one quarter? Are you kidding me?! This Cardinals rally is nice but it'd help if they, y'know, had more time. Also getting a stop might be a good thing to try, too. cringes Boldin might be lucky to be alive after that. The 34 is more impressive than the 56. Discuss. (Jets 56, Cardinals 35)
"Sorry, Lane. I'm just doing my job. You gotta appreciate that." "Nah - calling it your job don't make it right, Boss." (Chargers 28, Raiders 18)
I like that Aikman and I are of the same mind about the squib kick. Newman is getting used and abused here. Can you even fair-catch a kickoff? And why would you? And now we're back to the end of last year with the Cowboys where they inexplicably couldn't run the ball at all. Uh-oh. Here come the Redskins. "I was rooting for you all along, Butch." "Well, thank you, Flatnose. That's what sustained me in my time of trouble." (Redskins 26, Cowboys 24)
I don't know... I thought Olsen had it and it wasn't even all that close. Anyone think the touchdown play was designed so that DeSeasn would end up in the back of the end zone? I gotta say, Orton's been making good throws. I still maintain he can be successful in this league and should've been starting all along. I'm beginning to worry about Akers. The last three games the Eagles have given up a score in the last two minutes of the first half and I feel like that's why some other things have been happening. This is the bad night for DeSean that we all figured was going to happen at some point. He hasn't been the same since that muffed punt. What's with all these red-zone flameouts tonight? Is it last year again? I agree with going for it there. The play call... that I'm not sold on. On the other side, the Bears finally hold late in the game, which can only help their psyche. This is the second year in a row this result should've gone the other way. (Bears 24, Eagles 20)
Well, that'll surely blunt some of the blood hatred that this matchup always envokes. You forget sometimes what a violent game this is, and then you see that and Boldin the day before and you also start to realize that this has been happening a lot lately. Man, Ben's having flashbacks. Who is Carey Davis? Flacco's doing a few things. Wow. The Steelers have looked awful. Are those boos? One of the great things about sports is how situations can change lightning-fast. Flacco never realized the rush was coming - that's the first mistake he's made. McLain just bulldozed that poor guy, whoever that was. This was one heck of an escape job. (Steelers 23, Ravens 20, OT)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (1-3, W1): Finally! Of course, I had to sweat out MNF and the worst team Sven's ever had, but another big game from Larry Johnson and a Herculean effort from Delhomme gets the Seagulls their first win. Ocho Cinco's still going to the bench, though. Sidenote: The guy who had Favre didn't start him.
JackSux VI (3-1, W1): The opposite story here, as I handed Charlie his first loss of the season behnd Coles' massive game and another big passing day from Drew Brees.
RANKINGS
1. N.Y. Giants (3-0) - Plaxico situation bears watching
2. Dallas (3-1) - Is the T.O. bomb about to go off?
3. Buffalo (4-0) - Why the heck not?
30. Oakland (1-3) - At this point, I feel like it's just the fact that Lane Kiffin's not old enough to know better... and I kind of admire that
31. Cincinnati (0-4) - Yep, the bad old days are back
32. St. Louis (0-4) - So they fire the head coach one week after he benches the starting quarterback... and elevate the guy who's running the defense that's given up 147 points
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
They're Getting Ballsy
I guess the fact that there's someone new on the Interwebs every single day keeps these scams going. But it takes a special kind of degenerate to put this particular twist on it:
Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:46 PM ( 1 week 3 days ago )
From "Mrs. Suha Arafat"
To undisclosed-recipients: ;
Subject Investment Programme
Dear Friend,
This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the Middle East and Palestine in particular. I'm Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT
I personally deposited the sum of US$20 million dollars with a security firm in Europe whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and Investment into real estates or any viable investment. This arrangement is known to you and my personal Attorney. He might be dealing with you directly for security reasons as the case may be. In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $20,000,000 that will be kept in your possession for a while and invested in your name for my trust pending when my Daughter, Zahwa, will come off age and take full responsibility of her Family Estate/inheritance.
I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Please include your tel, numbers to expedite action. Kindly reply through (arafatsuha26@yahoo.com.co)
Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Suha Arafat
Note that the first paragraph - particularly the part about the money transfers - is true. Hoo boy.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 3: The Big Bum Rush
Signal Finder: CIN @ NYG, ARZ @ WSH, TB @ CHI (end of regulation), PIT @ PHI
Good Lord. This may be the greatest day in Dolphins history since the last time they beat the Patriots. (Dolphins 38, Patriots 13)
I find it interesting that the announcers are still calling him 'Johnson.' Oh, wait, Gumbel referenced it, at least. Is Carson's nose broken again? Maybe, since he's been sacked six times. What about Pierce jumping offsides after realizing that the Giants only had 10 guys on the field? CHICANERY! Did that get deflected? OMG a touchdown pass from the Bengals! And the defense gives half of it back. Seriously. Is Carson freezing Chad out? Seemingly every pass in the fourth quarter has gone to T.J. This is the offense we're used to. Overtime! Can we get a better look at that sideline? No? OK. (Giants 26, Bengals 23)
So if Brian Griese threw 67 passes, that means the Bucs lost, right? Right? What? (Buccaneers 27, Bears 24, OT)
Usually when somebody steps on someone else's foot, it's the step-ee that takes the worst of it, not the stepper. Ben is getting killed out there. Where was this last week? Seems to me like Buckhalter's done that before. That exact move, even. Eagles fans will spend all year wondering "Is this it?" whenever anything happens to McNabb. Seriously, where was this last week? They're probably 3-0 if they get to Romo a couple times. These have been some unfortunate, if correct, replay reviews. The Steelers have been absolutely stifled. That's a clutch punt. It shouldn't have been called grounding because his knee was down in the end zone. The result's correct, but there's semantics involved. Why is Tomlin going for it? They're gonna have to kick a field goal at some point, and Reed's one of the better ones... odd. This is the third week in a row I've watched the Eagles and said afterwards, "Well. Wasn't expecting THAT." And I'm not sure what that means. (Eagles 15, Steelers 6)
I'm incredibly frightened right now. (Cowboys 27, Packers 9)
PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. And learn to snap it while you're at it. AGAIN I SAY. And Cromartie should've had that one. How does he not bring that in? Lookit Jammer run. That one wasn't really Favre's fault - Cromartie made a great play to take it away there. There is a fairly large hole in the Chargers' kickoff coverage. That's gotta be one of the worst feelings in the world, to take it back that far and not make it. How much defense is actually being played? OK, THAT one you can put on Favre. Sproles just takes off like a rocket. Man, it's hard to argue against the Jets going for it there even though it didn't work. Uh-oh. They're rallying. (Sort of.) Blowing this one buries the Chargers, right? Well, that'll help. But here come the Jets right back. Again, holes in the kickoff coverage. Not enough time for it to happen now. Another flag? I think you can call a run now, Mangini. You're at the half-yard line for crying out loud. Seriously, is this some kind of record? AND WHY ARE THEY STILL IN THE SHOTGUN? And then they don't even get it. Serves 'em right. What a baffling sequence. This was the Chargers saying "We don't really think the 1-3 trick is going to work two years in a row." (Chargers 48, Jets 29)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (0-3, L3): This team is in shambles. My quarterbacks stink, my receivers stink, even my defenses are crap. At least Larry Johnson's not dead.
JackSux (2-1, L1): Johnny tore me to shreds. Or, rather, my own instincts tore me to shreds. I left 70 points on the bench in Brees (WTF Broncos, I thought your defense was good), Addai and McGahee (who wasn't even supposed to play this week). Rivers tried his hardest to rally the troops by himself on Monday night, though.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. Dallas (3-0) - They may have flaws, but they haven't been exploited optimally yet
2. N.Y. Giants (3-0) - Still the forgotten champions
3. Denver (3-0) - Cutler's breaking out in a big-time way
BOTTOM 3:
30. Detroit (0-3) - Junior Ford: "I'd fire Millen, but Dad won't let me."
31. Kansas City (0-3) - Does Tyler Thigpen even know who he is?
32. St. Louis (0-3) - What in the blue hell is going on here?
Good Lord. This may be the greatest day in Dolphins history since the last time they beat the Patriots. (Dolphins 38, Patriots 13)
I find it interesting that the announcers are still calling him 'Johnson.' Oh, wait, Gumbel referenced it, at least. Is Carson's nose broken again? Maybe, since he's been sacked six times. What about Pierce jumping offsides after realizing that the Giants only had 10 guys on the field? CHICANERY! Did that get deflected? OMG a touchdown pass from the Bengals! And the defense gives half of it back. Seriously. Is Carson freezing Chad out? Seemingly every pass in the fourth quarter has gone to T.J. This is the offense we're used to. Overtime! Can we get a better look at that sideline? No? OK. (Giants 26, Bengals 23)
So if Brian Griese threw 67 passes, that means the Bucs lost, right? Right? What? (Buccaneers 27, Bears 24, OT)
Usually when somebody steps on someone else's foot, it's the step-ee that takes the worst of it, not the stepper. Ben is getting killed out there. Where was this last week? Seems to me like Buckhalter's done that before. That exact move, even. Eagles fans will spend all year wondering "Is this it?" whenever anything happens to McNabb. Seriously, where was this last week? They're probably 3-0 if they get to Romo a couple times. These have been some unfortunate, if correct, replay reviews. The Steelers have been absolutely stifled. That's a clutch punt. It shouldn't have been called grounding because his knee was down in the end zone. The result's correct, but there's semantics involved. Why is Tomlin going for it? They're gonna have to kick a field goal at some point, and Reed's one of the better ones... odd. This is the third week in a row I've watched the Eagles and said afterwards, "Well. Wasn't expecting THAT." And I'm not sure what that means. (Eagles 15, Steelers 6)
I'm incredibly frightened right now. (Cowboys 27, Packers 9)
PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. And learn to snap it while you're at it. AGAIN I SAY. And Cromartie should've had that one. How does he not bring that in? Lookit Jammer run. That one wasn't really Favre's fault - Cromartie made a great play to take it away there. There is a fairly large hole in the Chargers' kickoff coverage. That's gotta be one of the worst feelings in the world, to take it back that far and not make it. How much defense is actually being played? OK, THAT one you can put on Favre. Sproles just takes off like a rocket. Man, it's hard to argue against the Jets going for it there even though it didn't work. Uh-oh. They're rallying. (Sort of.) Blowing this one buries the Chargers, right? Well, that'll help. But here come the Jets right back. Again, holes in the kickoff coverage. Not enough time for it to happen now. Another flag? I think you can call a run now, Mangini. You're at the half-yard line for crying out loud. Seriously, is this some kind of record? AND WHY ARE THEY STILL IN THE SHOTGUN? And then they don't even get it. Serves 'em right. What a baffling sequence. This was the Chargers saying "We don't really think the 1-3 trick is going to work two years in a row." (Chargers 48, Jets 29)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (0-3, L3): This team is in shambles. My quarterbacks stink, my receivers stink, even my defenses are crap. At least Larry Johnson's not dead.
JackSux (2-1, L1): Johnny tore me to shreds. Or, rather, my own instincts tore me to shreds. I left 70 points on the bench in Brees (WTF Broncos, I thought your defense was good), Addai and McGahee (who wasn't even supposed to play this week). Rivers tried his hardest to rally the troops by himself on Monday night, though.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. Dallas (3-0) - They may have flaws, but they haven't been exploited optimally yet
2. N.Y. Giants (3-0) - Still the forgotten champions
3. Denver (3-0) - Cutler's breaking out in a big-time way
BOTTOM 3:
30. Detroit (0-3) - Junior Ford: "I'd fire Millen, but Dad won't let me."
31. Kansas City (0-3) - Does Tyler Thigpen even know who he is?
32. St. Louis (0-3) - What in the blue hell is going on here?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: A Giant Spanner In The Works
Signal Finder: IND @ MIN, NYG @ STL, NE @ NYJ, SD @ DEN (end)
This is horrific. Seriously, I'm not sure the Rams secondary could cover us. Nice job by Holt to outfight Phillips for the touchdown and make things interesting, if only for a few minutes. (Giants 41, Rams 13)
Peterson's shredding the Colts right now. Not that it matters because the Vikings seem to be stuck between the 20s. Which is better than the Colts right now, who can't run the ball at all. The Colts are basically out of offensive linemen, right? Was that the longest delayed hook-and-ladder ever? Is it even technically a hoook-and-ladder at that point? Whoa. I don't think Addai made it. Neither do Gumbel and Dierdorf, who basically said if he did make it, it was by the slimmest margin possible ever. In the back of my mind I'm thinking, "All Peyton has to do is do that one more time and they can win this game." Did you catch him on the sideline after Vinatieri missed? He was shaking his head and had this look on his face like "What else can go wrong today?" And then Longwell comes back and misses? What is going ON here? As a colleague of mine is fond of saying, "Field goals lose games." Vinatieri is basically Mariano Rivera at this point, right? (Colts 18, Vikings 15)
Man, leads are getting blown left and right here today.
Well, let's see how this goes. I'm expecting the Patriots to call six plays. The Jets don't need to be leaving points on the field like that. Where'd this Stuckey kid come from? I had to look up his name. Is it just me or have the Patriots been running the ball better ever since Maroney went out? The Jets must have five guys on Moss or something. GUNSLINGER. That pass was 10 yards short. Adalius Thomas sacking two guys at once was pretty great. So I guess they're going to do it with defense this time around? Is that it? It's a good plan if that's what that is. (Patriots 19, Jets 10)
And we come in just in time to see Cason make a nice play to pick off Cutler. Wait, that's a fumble, isn't it? He blew the whistle? I don't know if I take any comfort in the fact that he admitted he screwed up or not. Shanahan's going for two? (This caught Enberg completely off guard.) And the announcers don't know how much time is on the clock? Wow. Just wow. (Broncos 39, Chargers 38)
Who the hell is Logan Payne? Here's how bad the Rams are: Seattle's a 10-point favorite next week. (49ers 33, Seahawks 30, OT)
This weather looks eerily familiar. Michael Phelps pretty much has the NBC logo branded on his ass at this point, right? Wait, what? Ben's got a separated shoulder? No wonder he only throws eight passes a game. (Steelers 10, Browns 6)
That's not the way the Cowboys wanted to start. Three tight ends? I hope the Seahawks are taking notes. Maybe they only need one receiver after all. Nice coverage, Lito. rolls eyes I was left disappointed by the ESPN Deportes call of Felix's kickoff return. That kid's crazy fast, by the way. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Or just fall on it at the very least. I hope he doesn't handle Jessica that clumsily. Was that even 30 seconds? That's good play design to have T.O. end up one-on-one against Dawkins. PRO TIP: DeSean, the end zone is a different color than the rest of the field. Keep that in mind for next time, hmmm? Anyway, an Arena game appears to have broken out. Romo's gotten near-impeccable pass protection all night long. Things have calmed down considerably. And now Donovan's struggling with handoffs. I know you don't run the ball but still. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Nice spin move by Barber. It's kind of scary how little mileage he has on him relative to his experience. That hook-and-ladder didn't have enough ladders. This was the exact opposite of last year's game in Texas Stadium, which, again, I wasn't expecting. And let's put away the anointing oils for the Cowboys, while we're at it. (Cowboys 41, Eagles 37)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (0-2, L2): This Larry Johnson thing is cause for concern.
JackSux (2-0, W2): One bright spot from the DeSean Drop: It helped me beat Dupin (who has Jackson) by three points. If he scores that touchdown, I lose.
This is horrific. Seriously, I'm not sure the Rams secondary could cover us. Nice job by Holt to outfight Phillips for the touchdown and make things interesting, if only for a few minutes. (Giants 41, Rams 13)
Peterson's shredding the Colts right now. Not that it matters because the Vikings seem to be stuck between the 20s. Which is better than the Colts right now, who can't run the ball at all. The Colts are basically out of offensive linemen, right? Was that the longest delayed hook-and-ladder ever? Is it even technically a hoook-and-ladder at that point? Whoa. I don't think Addai made it. Neither do Gumbel and Dierdorf, who basically said if he did make it, it was by the slimmest margin possible ever. In the back of my mind I'm thinking, "All Peyton has to do is do that one more time and they can win this game." Did you catch him on the sideline after Vinatieri missed? He was shaking his head and had this look on his face like "What else can go wrong today?" And then Longwell comes back and misses? What is going ON here? As a colleague of mine is fond of saying, "Field goals lose games." Vinatieri is basically Mariano Rivera at this point, right? (Colts 18, Vikings 15)
Man, leads are getting blown left and right here today.
Well, let's see how this goes. I'm expecting the Patriots to call six plays. The Jets don't need to be leaving points on the field like that. Where'd this Stuckey kid come from? I had to look up his name. Is it just me or have the Patriots been running the ball better ever since Maroney went out? The Jets must have five guys on Moss or something. GUNSLINGER. That pass was 10 yards short. Adalius Thomas sacking two guys at once was pretty great. So I guess they're going to do it with defense this time around? Is that it? It's a good plan if that's what that is. (Patriots 19, Jets 10)
And we come in just in time to see Cason make a nice play to pick off Cutler. Wait, that's a fumble, isn't it? He blew the whistle? I don't know if I take any comfort in the fact that he admitted he screwed up or not. Shanahan's going for two? (This caught Enberg completely off guard.) And the announcers don't know how much time is on the clock? Wow. Just wow. (Broncos 39, Chargers 38)
Who the hell is Logan Payne? Here's how bad the Rams are: Seattle's a 10-point favorite next week. (49ers 33, Seahawks 30, OT)
This weather looks eerily familiar. Michael Phelps pretty much has the NBC logo branded on his ass at this point, right? Wait, what? Ben's got a separated shoulder? No wonder he only throws eight passes a game. (Steelers 10, Browns 6)
That's not the way the Cowboys wanted to start. Three tight ends? I hope the Seahawks are taking notes. Maybe they only need one receiver after all. Nice coverage, Lito. rolls eyes I was left disappointed by the ESPN Deportes call of Felix's kickoff return. That kid's crazy fast, by the way. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Or just fall on it at the very least. I hope he doesn't handle Jessica that clumsily. Was that even 30 seconds? That's good play design to have T.O. end up one-on-one against Dawkins. PRO TIP: DeSean, the end zone is a different color than the rest of the field. Keep that in mind for next time, hmmm? Anyway, an Arena game appears to have broken out. Romo's gotten near-impeccable pass protection all night long. Things have calmed down considerably. And now Donovan's struggling with handoffs. I know you don't run the ball but still. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Nice spin move by Barber. It's kind of scary how little mileage he has on him relative to his experience. That hook-and-ladder didn't have enough ladders. This was the exact opposite of last year's game in Texas Stadium, which, again, I wasn't expecting. And let's put away the anointing oils for the Cowboys, while we're at it. (Cowboys 41, Eagles 37)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (0-2, L2): This Larry Johnson thing is cause for concern.
JackSux (2-0, W2): One bright spot from the DeSean Drop: It helped me beat Dupin (who has Jackson) by three points. If he scores that touchdown, I lose.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 1: Bunting, Blowouts and Breaks
Wait, what? 7 o'clock? Oh, right, the Republicans. Still, you'd think we'd have gotten some kind of buildup. That's how you start a game, Eli. The Redskins look... off. Seriously, this team going to the West Coast offense is a cultural adjustment as much as anything else. The Giants' defense hasn't missed a beat, either. Why are people counting these guys out again? (Giants 17, Redskins 6)
Signal Finder: STL @ PHI, HOU @ PIT, NYJ @ MIA (end), TB @ NO (end), DAL @ CLE
Um... ouch? I don't know if I'd call it dirty, but it's certainly dubious. (Remember the Carson Palmer hit? Same thing essentially.) Then Brodie Croyle goes down and no one gives a rat's ass. Which, to be honest, would have been the case regardless, though at least he didn't get Charlie Frye-d, which was what I thought when I saw Huard randomly pop up in a highlight. Is this how the Super Bowl losers' hangover manifests itself? Because Matt Cassel... could really suck. Actually, you know what? I think I did call it dirty when Vince Wilfork did it to J.P. Losman... last year? It should be a penalty at the very least. So much for my prediction. (Patriots 17, Chiefs 10)
DeSean's starting by default. Though I'm sure no one has any complaints! What, another one? The Rams' DBs are getting embarrassed all over the place here. Reggie Bush to Stephen Jackson; "I feel you, bro. I feel you." The most amazing thing about the Baskett stat with him having the most 80+ yard touchdowns over the last three years is that he never plays. Hmmm, that fake QB sneak into a quick pitch is a new wrinkle. You know whose name I haven't heard at all is Torry Holt. Well. This was unexpected. There was this one shot of Jim Haslett near the end and he had this look on his face that summed everything up, including why he's not a head coach any more. LOL at the fans booing the Ram field goal. (Eagles 38, Rams 3)
DOUBLE REVERSE~~~~~~ Harbaugh learned his lessons well. (Ravens 17, Bengals 10)
Pennsylvania: Land of Beatdowns. Comparison to chew on: The Eagles game was an air strike. The Steelers did it with tanks. (Steelers 38, Texans 17)
I wonder if I'll ever get used to that. MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! Favre still has hops at his age? Amazing. And where'd the receiver come from? The Jets actually asked Favre if he could kick. That bit about one-win teams winning the following season's opener? I did not know that. Did the Dolphins receiver try to put Revis in a double chickenwing or something? What was that? (Jets 20, Dolphins 14)
They flagged T.O. for that? Weak. The Cowboys called the dogs off in the second half. (Cowboys 28, Browns 10)
We weren't really paying attention to this because of Phillies-Mets but it looks like the Colts' run defense has reverted back to 2005 levels. That's the only explanation I can come up with. (Bears 29, Colts 13)
All right, Aaron. Saddle up. Wow, look at all those penalty flags. Zzzzzzz... I'm not sure how Jennings came down with that and not the defender. We've seen that before somewhere. Meanwhile, Tarvaris looks like he's always looked, which is, not like a quarterback who's ready to lead a team on a deep playoff run or anything like that. Peterson can't do it alone. And he's certainly going to need more help than that from his special teams. Rodgers is sharp. Well, that wasn't bad. You can see the flashes from Tarvaris, like on the drive that ended with the Rice touchdown. I feel like this is as far as it goes, though. Lambeau Leap for Rodgers! That says so much right there. I've never noticed this before but his nose is huge. (Packers 24, Vikings 19)
What an ass-kicking this was. I thought DeAngelo Hall was good. LOL at Skycam getting into the shot. Edit that out! (Broncos 41, Raiders 14)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (0-1): The Seattle Supersonics live on! Facing Willie Parker was not fun.
JackSux 5 (1-0): On the strength of Drew Brees and a mildly surprising effort from the Bears' defense.
Signal Finder: STL @ PHI, HOU @ PIT, NYJ @ MIA (end), TB @ NO (end), DAL @ CLE
Um... ouch? I don't know if I'd call it dirty, but it's certainly dubious. (Remember the Carson Palmer hit? Same thing essentially.) Then Brodie Croyle goes down and no one gives a rat's ass. Which, to be honest, would have been the case regardless, though at least he didn't get Charlie Frye-d, which was what I thought when I saw Huard randomly pop up in a highlight. Is this how the Super Bowl losers' hangover manifests itself? Because Matt Cassel... could really suck. Actually, you know what? I think I did call it dirty when Vince Wilfork did it to J.P. Losman... last year? It should be a penalty at the very least. So much for my prediction. (Patriots 17, Chiefs 10)
DeSean's starting by default. Though I'm sure no one has any complaints! What, another one? The Rams' DBs are getting embarrassed all over the place here. Reggie Bush to Stephen Jackson; "I feel you, bro. I feel you." The most amazing thing about the Baskett stat with him having the most 80+ yard touchdowns over the last three years is that he never plays. Hmmm, that fake QB sneak into a quick pitch is a new wrinkle. You know whose name I haven't heard at all is Torry Holt. Well. This was unexpected. There was this one shot of Jim Haslett near the end and he had this look on his face that summed everything up, including why he's not a head coach any more. LOL at the fans booing the Ram field goal. (Eagles 38, Rams 3)
DOUBLE REVERSE~~~~~~ Harbaugh learned his lessons well. (Ravens 17, Bengals 10)
Pennsylvania: Land of Beatdowns. Comparison to chew on: The Eagles game was an air strike. The Steelers did it with tanks. (Steelers 38, Texans 17)
I wonder if I'll ever get used to that. MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! Favre still has hops at his age? Amazing. And where'd the receiver come from? The Jets actually asked Favre if he could kick. That bit about one-win teams winning the following season's opener? I did not know that. Did the Dolphins receiver try to put Revis in a double chickenwing or something? What was that? (Jets 20, Dolphins 14)
They flagged T.O. for that? Weak. The Cowboys called the dogs off in the second half. (Cowboys 28, Browns 10)
We weren't really paying attention to this because of Phillies-Mets but it looks like the Colts' run defense has reverted back to 2005 levels. That's the only explanation I can come up with. (Bears 29, Colts 13)
All right, Aaron. Saddle up. Wow, look at all those penalty flags. Zzzzzzz... I'm not sure how Jennings came down with that and not the defender. We've seen that before somewhere. Meanwhile, Tarvaris looks like he's always looked, which is, not like a quarterback who's ready to lead a team on a deep playoff run or anything like that. Peterson can't do it alone. And he's certainly going to need more help than that from his special teams. Rodgers is sharp. Well, that wasn't bad. You can see the flashes from Tarvaris, like on the drive that ended with the Rice touchdown. I feel like this is as far as it goes, though. Lambeau Leap for Rodgers! That says so much right there. I've never noticed this before but his nose is huge. (Packers 24, Vikings 19)
What an ass-kicking this was. I thought DeAngelo Hall was good. LOL at Skycam getting into the shot. Edit that out! (Broncos 41, Raiders 14)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (0-1): The Seattle Supersonics live on! Facing Willie Parker was not fun.
JackSux 5 (1-0): On the strength of Drew Brees and a mildly surprising effort from the Bears' defense.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Fearful Forecast 2008
NFC
EAST
(1) Dallas - On paper, the Cowboys are probably the best team in the conference. But games aren't played on paper, especially not playoff games. And there are still enough potential time bombs that could cause things to go horribly wrong.
(5) N.Y. Giants - I'm not as down on these guys as everybody else is, and not just because they're the defending champions.
(6) Philadelphia - Friends, I don't remember the last time I've ever been so uncertain about this team. The defense has gotten dramatically younger over the past two years, and the hope is that Samuel can get some interceptions. It's a critical year for McNabb and everybody knows it - if he gets hurt again, say hello to Kevin Kolb.
Washington - I don't see it. Even with Jason Taylor and his dancing feet, they don't do anything better than any of the other teams in the division... including finishing games.
CENTRAL
(4) Green Bay - They've got a new quarterback. That's pretty big news. But it's the same group that surprised people and got to the NFC title game last year, and they seem to have accepted Aaron Rodgers. Is he produces, I like the Packers in a two-team division...
Minnesota - ...the other team being the Vikings. So much hinges on Tarvaris Jackson it isn't funny. If he becomes what the Vikings obviously think he can become, they could do big things.
Detroit - They're probably not as good as they started out last year.
Chicago - What the hell is going on here. They finally go with, IMO, the right quarterback among the ones they have, but when Devin Hester is your best offensive player, you've got... issues.
SOUTH
(2) New Orleans - They waited a year too late to make some moves to improve their defense, but they can score points with anybody. Plus, this division seems to have a different winner every year.
Carolina - Delhomme's arm looked OK when he faced the Eagles in that weird preseason game that got delayed by lightning for an hour. This is a team that will have to dip into its past - Delhomme, Peppers, and the returning Muhsin Muhammad will need to rediscover some of their old form. If they can, the Panthers could sneak into the playoffs.
Tampa Bay - They just don't excite me, y'know? The Bucs may be the most mediocre team in the league. I think last year's division title bought Gruden some time.
Atlanta - The Falcons are starting over. Again.
WEST
(3) Seattle - Apparently it takes three guys to replace Shaun Alexander. Even though they're banged up all over the offense in preseason, they're still the best of a seriously bad lot.
Arizona - They were 8-8 last year? Really? Huh. Look, I agree that Warner gives them a better chance to win right now than Leinart does. Still, the same standard holds: until they prove otherwise, they're still the Arizona Cardinals.
St. Louis - The Rams got ripped to shreds - literally - by injuries last season. They're also getting older in some important spots.
San Francisco - J.T. O'Sullivan? Really? Really? Daunte Culpepper might have a point.
AFC
EAST
(1) New England - Forget Spygate. Forget Brady's foot. The Pats will never admit it publicly, but they are going to be angry and out for blood after their season ended the way it did. I fear for the rest of the league. Yes, again.
N.Y. Jets - They have a new quarterback; perhaps you've heard of him. And a lot of new other things. They're going for it; it's just unfortunate for them that they're in the AFC.
Miami - No, really. Chad Pennington remains the third-best QB in this division, but he's now the best quarterback on his new team. Don't forget the Dolphins lost more than their fair share of close games last year.
Buffalo - You got faith in Trent Edwards? I don't. Not yet, anyway. I see them treading water, both American and Canadian.
NORTH
(4) Pittsburgh - Their schedule is absolutely brutal.
(6) Cleveland - Last year's biggest surprise team, as usual, enters this year with higher expectations. I don't know how much I believe in the Browns' defense yet.
Baltimore - Things can't get worse, you know? Even with a rookie quarterback who's starting almost by default.
Cincinnati - I see this ending very, very badly. A team known for its offense suddenly has a lot of question marks (Are the receivers healthy? Was Chris Perry not overrated coming out of college?), their defense actually got worse, and the Chris Henry thing might drive Marvin Lewis to drink.
SOUTH
(3) Indianapolis - Can they stay healthy? That's the big question for a team that's been there before and is good enough to get back.
(5) Jacksonville - The jaguars made moves to improve at receiver, and they'll need that extra dimension to get over the hump, because they've got everything else.
Houston - They'll break .500. Playoffs? Maybe next year. The best thing that could happen to the Texans is Steve Slaton getting some run at running back, because who knows what Ahman Green's got left.
Tennessee - They were a playoff team last yeat, but Vince Young still needs help.
WEST
(2) San Diego - Shawne Merriman's making a colossal mistake. Besides that, this is a team that got close last year and is good enough to go all the way as long as Rivers keeps improving.
Denver - You get the feeling that Mike Shanahan would have to shoot Pat Bowlen in the face to get fired?
Oakland - One year and Lane Kiffin is walking on eggshells. On the actual field, the Raiders did some odd things in the offseason, and I'm not sure they're all that much better for it.
Kansas City - There's a youth movement afoot for the Chiefs, and expectations are low.
WILD CARD:
Philadelphia over Seattle, N.Y. Giants over Green Bay
Indianapolis over Cleveland, Jacksonville over Pittsburgh
DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS:
Dallas over Philadelphia; New Orleans over N.Y. Giants
New England over Jacksonville, Indianapolis over San Diego
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
New Orleans over Dallas
New England over Indianapolis
SUPER BOWL... 43?
New England over New Orleans
EAST
(1) Dallas - On paper, the Cowboys are probably the best team in the conference. But games aren't played on paper, especially not playoff games. And there are still enough potential time bombs that could cause things to go horribly wrong.
(5) N.Y. Giants - I'm not as down on these guys as everybody else is, and not just because they're the defending champions.
(6) Philadelphia - Friends, I don't remember the last time I've ever been so uncertain about this team. The defense has gotten dramatically younger over the past two years, and the hope is that Samuel can get some interceptions. It's a critical year for McNabb and everybody knows it - if he gets hurt again, say hello to Kevin Kolb.
Washington - I don't see it. Even with Jason Taylor and his dancing feet, they don't do anything better than any of the other teams in the division... including finishing games.
CENTRAL
(4) Green Bay - They've got a new quarterback. That's pretty big news. But it's the same group that surprised people and got to the NFC title game last year, and they seem to have accepted Aaron Rodgers. Is he produces, I like the Packers in a two-team division...
Minnesota - ...the other team being the Vikings. So much hinges on Tarvaris Jackson it isn't funny. If he becomes what the Vikings obviously think he can become, they could do big things.
Detroit - They're probably not as good as they started out last year.
Chicago - What the hell is going on here. They finally go with, IMO, the right quarterback among the ones they have, but when Devin Hester is your best offensive player, you've got... issues.
SOUTH
(2) New Orleans - They waited a year too late to make some moves to improve their defense, but they can score points with anybody. Plus, this division seems to have a different winner every year.
Carolina - Delhomme's arm looked OK when he faced the Eagles in that weird preseason game that got delayed by lightning for an hour. This is a team that will have to dip into its past - Delhomme, Peppers, and the returning Muhsin Muhammad will need to rediscover some of their old form. If they can, the Panthers could sneak into the playoffs.
Tampa Bay - They just don't excite me, y'know? The Bucs may be the most mediocre team in the league. I think last year's division title bought Gruden some time.
Atlanta - The Falcons are starting over. Again.
WEST
(3) Seattle - Apparently it takes three guys to replace Shaun Alexander. Even though they're banged up all over the offense in preseason, they're still the best of a seriously bad lot.
Arizona - They were 8-8 last year? Really? Huh. Look, I agree that Warner gives them a better chance to win right now than Leinart does. Still, the same standard holds: until they prove otherwise, they're still the Arizona Cardinals.
St. Louis - The Rams got ripped to shreds - literally - by injuries last season. They're also getting older in some important spots.
San Francisco - J.T. O'Sullivan? Really? Really? Daunte Culpepper might have a point.
AFC
EAST
(1) New England - Forget Spygate. Forget Brady's foot. The Pats will never admit it publicly, but they are going to be angry and out for blood after their season ended the way it did. I fear for the rest of the league. Yes, again.
N.Y. Jets - They have a new quarterback; perhaps you've heard of him. And a lot of new other things. They're going for it; it's just unfortunate for them that they're in the AFC.
Miami - No, really. Chad Pennington remains the third-best QB in this division, but he's now the best quarterback on his new team. Don't forget the Dolphins lost more than their fair share of close games last year.
Buffalo - You got faith in Trent Edwards? I don't. Not yet, anyway. I see them treading water, both American and Canadian.
NORTH
(4) Pittsburgh - Their schedule is absolutely brutal.
(6) Cleveland - Last year's biggest surprise team, as usual, enters this year with higher expectations. I don't know how much I believe in the Browns' defense yet.
Baltimore - Things can't get worse, you know? Even with a rookie quarterback who's starting almost by default.
Cincinnati - I see this ending very, very badly. A team known for its offense suddenly has a lot of question marks (Are the receivers healthy? Was Chris Perry not overrated coming out of college?), their defense actually got worse, and the Chris Henry thing might drive Marvin Lewis to drink.
SOUTH
(3) Indianapolis - Can they stay healthy? That's the big question for a team that's been there before and is good enough to get back.
(5) Jacksonville - The jaguars made moves to improve at receiver, and they'll need that extra dimension to get over the hump, because they've got everything else.
Houston - They'll break .500. Playoffs? Maybe next year. The best thing that could happen to the Texans is Steve Slaton getting some run at running back, because who knows what Ahman Green's got left.
Tennessee - They were a playoff team last yeat, but Vince Young still needs help.
WEST
(2) San Diego - Shawne Merriman's making a colossal mistake. Besides that, this is a team that got close last year and is good enough to go all the way as long as Rivers keeps improving.
Denver - You get the feeling that Mike Shanahan would have to shoot Pat Bowlen in the face to get fired?
Oakland - One year and Lane Kiffin is walking on eggshells. On the actual field, the Raiders did some odd things in the offseason, and I'm not sure they're all that much better for it.
Kansas City - There's a youth movement afoot for the Chiefs, and expectations are low.
WILD CARD:
Philadelphia over Seattle, N.Y. Giants over Green Bay
Indianapolis over Cleveland, Jacksonville over Pittsburgh
DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS:
Dallas over Philadelphia; New Orleans over N.Y. Giants
New England over Jacksonville, Indianapolis over San Diego
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
New Orleans over Dallas
New England over Indianapolis
SUPER BOWL... 43?
New England over New Orleans
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Fantasy Draft Report 2008: 2 of 2
And I'm back with Rob in the fifth year of JackSux. And after I got royally hosed by the Vikings and the official scorer last year (seriously, CC Sabatiha has nothing on me), I'd really like to not have to even face the possibility of that happening again. I'd like to just go out and crush fools. And this team is built (by Yahoo! Autodraft, of all things) to crush fools.
1. (6) RB Joseph Addai - The first Colt off the board isn't Peyton? SACRILEGE. But he's just as important to the Colts' attack as anyone.
2. (11) RB Clinton Portis - Very consistent when healthy, but that might be tested since we really don't know what to expect in new Redskins coach Jim Zorn's new offense.
3. (22) RB Willis McGahee - What's this about some injury problems? Regardless, the Ravens have a rookie quarterback to protect, and you do that by running the ball.
4. (27) QB Drew Brees - A guy who puts up numbers regardless of how good his team is, and the Saints should be better this year, so Brees' numbers should also be better.
5. (33) WR Chad Johnson - I guess it's supposed to be "eight-five" like they'd say it in the hood. And he's been banged up all summer. But as I said in the aPa recap, if he feels like he has something to prove, he could be dangerous... in a good way.
6. (38) RB Earnest Graham - Even though Warrick Dunn's back in Tampa, I expect Graham to get the bulk of the carries, especially with Cadillac Williams still fighting knee problems.
7. (54) WR Roy Williams - Also on the aPa Seagulls.
8. (59) TE Jeremy Shockey - He's a guy I've never actually liked and always thought was a little overrated, but he never really fit into Coughlin's system with the Giants and should fare better in New Orleans.
9. (70) Chicago DEFENSE - Yeah.
10. (75) K Shayne Graham - Should get a lot of opportunties playing with the high-powered Bengals offense.
11. (86) RB Selvin Young - Again, see below. What's going on here?
12. (91) WR Lee Evans - The Bills' top receiver, but is Trent Edwards worth anything at quarterback?
13. (102) WR Laveranues Coles - Pretty much a mandatory pick for at least one of my teams at this point.
14. (107) TE Todd Heap - Value dropped precipitously after Steve McNair retired two years ago, but a solid backup in this spot.
15. (118) QB Philip Rivers - He's pretty good. How'd he fall this far?
16. (123) Baltimore DEFENSE - An embarrassment of riches at the position.
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Now playing: Foo Fighters - All My Life
via FoxyTunes
1. (6) RB Joseph Addai - The first Colt off the board isn't Peyton? SACRILEGE. But he's just as important to the Colts' attack as anyone.
2. (11) RB Clinton Portis - Very consistent when healthy, but that might be tested since we really don't know what to expect in new Redskins coach Jim Zorn's new offense.
3. (22) RB Willis McGahee - What's this about some injury problems? Regardless, the Ravens have a rookie quarterback to protect, and you do that by running the ball.
4. (27) QB Drew Brees - A guy who puts up numbers regardless of how good his team is, and the Saints should be better this year, so Brees' numbers should also be better.
5. (33) WR Chad Johnson - I guess it's supposed to be "eight-five" like they'd say it in the hood. And he's been banged up all summer. But as I said in the aPa recap, if he feels like he has something to prove, he could be dangerous... in a good way.
6. (38) RB Earnest Graham - Even though Warrick Dunn's back in Tampa, I expect Graham to get the bulk of the carries, especially with Cadillac Williams still fighting knee problems.
7. (54) WR Roy Williams - Also on the aPa Seagulls.
8. (59) TE Jeremy Shockey - He's a guy I've never actually liked and always thought was a little overrated, but he never really fit into Coughlin's system with the Giants and should fare better in New Orleans.
9. (70) Chicago DEFENSE - Yeah.
10. (75) K Shayne Graham - Should get a lot of opportunties playing with the high-powered Bengals offense.
11. (86) RB Selvin Young - Again, see below. What's going on here?
12. (91) WR Lee Evans - The Bills' top receiver, but is Trent Edwards worth anything at quarterback?
13. (102) WR Laveranues Coles - Pretty much a mandatory pick for at least one of my teams at this point.
14. (107) TE Todd Heap - Value dropped precipitously after Steve McNair retired two years ago, but a solid backup in this spot.
15. (118) QB Philip Rivers - He's pretty good. How'd he fall this far?
16. (123) Baltimore DEFENSE - An embarrassment of riches at the position.
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Now playing: Foo Fighters - All My Life
via FoxyTunes
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