Does the "NFL" in NFL Network stand for "No F'n Letup in the weather?" Sheesh. Rayner almost pulled a Charlie Brown on himself. I think we've found our insomnia cure in the Vikings' offense. Let's break this down all the way, though. SPEED can't catch. Marcus Robinson's managed to have his career stolen twice, first by Marty Booker and then by Nate Burleson. You've also got Billy McMullen, who the Eagles didn't want, and Travis Taylor, who the Ravens didn't want. I'm gonna need you to not be shocked. (I wrote this part before Robinson got cut, thank you very much.)
Signal Finder: NE @ JAX, NO @ NYG, CIN @ DEN, SD @ SEA (end)
How is it that I'm in Sears, in the electronics department, on Sunday, and none of the TVs have the game on? Answer me that. So Pats-Jags was the early radio game, and what, exactly, happened to that official? He got pegged in the throat with a pass? Was that it? I'm also wondering why Del Rio didn't even bother throwing the ball at the end of the half. All right, be honest. This Patriots team: anyone scared?
The irony here is that Ron Dayne was supposed to do this every single week for the past six years or whatever.
Really, Who Gives A Rat's Ass?: Bucs-Browns.
That right there is the biggest problem the Saints are gonna have: getting beaten deep. And now they're running wild. What's going on today? There's been a lot of that. That may or may not be the first time Whitfield's headbutted a guy. At least he was wearing a helmet. This year's Giants are last year's Saints: stupid, undisciplined, with a coach that's in over his head who the players may or may not respect (and in this case, I say 'not'.) Seriously, if Coughlin's not in trouble, he should be.
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Bears-Lions. Wait, that's... that's... THAT'S BRIAN GRIESE'S MUSIC! (CCR's "Fortunate Son", obv) Was anyone else waiting for Lovie to say, "Yeah, hello? We were losing to the Lions?"
Dexter Jackson's put on some weight. "Hi. I'm Ocho Cinco." Meanwhile, Lynch is killing fools and the Bengals are handing this one to the Broncos. Throwing at Champ <> a wise move. Why's this Marshall kid getting all this run? Oh, yeah, that's just what that city needs; more weather events. The Broncos that started the season would have put the hammer down by now. Well, we're going to overD'OH!!! OK, that... that was a flashback to the old Bengals. "After the game, Domonique Foxworth hyperventilated at his locker but said he was fine." Yeah, that actually happened.
This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Brad St. Louis; 2. Any Indianapolis Colts defensive player; 3. Michael Boulware; 4. Marcus Robinson; 5. Joey Harrington (this was Rex until Monday night)
So T.O. shows up at the Eagles' hotel the night before and plays dominoes with some of the other wideouts. How does a game of dominoes among millionaires get started? The line on this game possibly deciding the division title now looks like an EKG. Carrie Underwood? The Eagles' defense has been rightly maligned lately, but one thing that has happened, especially over the past few weeks, is they've been difficult to score on in the red zone - the Redskins and Giants kicked a lot of field goals. WHAT. A pitch on fourth and goal from the 2? Did the defenses switch sides or something because the Cowboys haven't done anything on the ground. Seriously, they look like they've OD'd on tryptophan. Thanks for leaving at halftime, Terrell! "More wine and turkey?" The dump to Smith behind the Cowboys' blitz that went for 65 may be the best play the Eagles have run all year. Wow. This was a straight-up punking. There's no way the Eagles were supposed to win all three of these games on the road. None whatsoever. Madden: "I hate these uniforms." I FEEEEEEEEEEEEL GOOD
Really, now, what is with the weather in this country? This is like watching water boil. Oooohhhhh. OUCH! Washington and Coles get flattened on back to back plays. Can we re-edit "Jacked Up?" All I ask, Nugent, is that you don't try to throw it. Cleo Lemon? God, that's gotta hurt. Is this game still scoreless? Zzzzzzzzz... Hey, a field goal. Cleo Lemon! That's the first time they've scored in weeks. He got in; challenge that. Thanks. Nugent, Hawk and Mangold are all from the same town? That's sick. It's GOOD! I hope the Jets make it. And if they don't, I vote we give them the final NFC spot.
FANTASY REPORT
USFLaPa: Finished fifth.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. San Diego (13-2) - LDT actually kept out of end zone
2. Baltimore (12-3) - Put Steelers out of their misery
3. New Orleans (10-5) - The real deal, folks
BOTTOM 3:
30. Cleveland (4-11) - It's a long, long road
31. Oakland (2-13) - They'll likely head straight to Times Square
32. Detroit (2-13) - A 100-person walkout protest? They can't even quit good
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