By the Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: Seared In Its Own Juices

Signal Finder (since I should probably be including radio, also): NYG @ PHI, NE @ NYJ, KC @ DEN

When Roy Williams guaranteed victory, did he specifically say this week?

What was THAT? Has the humidity already gotten to Akers? It is hot here today. Apparently the Eagles stole this no-huddle from the Colts last week. The prevailing theme so far seems to be "blown pass coverages". And it continues! Things are getting contentious. When they showed Jones's jam on Shockey I immediately thought, "That's the flag, isn't it?" Things are GETTING CONTENTIOUS. The crowd reacting to the Akers miss was priceless. Do the Giants even know Smith is on the field? That may be one of the cheapest touchdowns ever. I'm against the Eagles going for it here, and that wasn't even close. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. I don't know why Coughlin's so angry; this review can only help him. Oh, they've fucked this all up. THINGS ARE GETTING CONTENTIOUS. What? He KICKED him? What the FUCK? Good Lord. But this is what Eli does. I've got a bad feeling about this. What's an 'illegal snap'? Anyone? If this was a playoff game, Plaxico drops that. What a disgrace.

306 rushing yards? Is that a record or something? Modern era, at least?

Something's very wrong with the Panthers. Do they really miss Steve Smith that much? Oh, in case y'all forgot; Julius Peppers? Still a bad-ass. WTF Chris Gamble. They just gave you the ball voluntarily and you're gonna give it back? Wow, Ryan Longwell now has a higher passer rating than Aaron Brooks. Was he out of bounds? Seriously, I'm asking. Oh, there's the ball; never mind. Wait, that came from the sideline? WTF John Fox.

"Sprained shoulder." Riiiiiiiight. Are the Ravens ripping off the Rams from last week? Oh, a safety. OK.

You know the saying, "If you have two quarterbacks, you don't have any"? What if you have three, and three running backs on top of it? Hey, a ... Charlie Whitehurst sighting?

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Patriots-Jets. So are the Pats just going to split out their tight ends now? Is that the plan? Did these two teams watch the end of regulation of Eagles-Giants and say, "Hey, that looks entertaining. Let's try that"? But the Jets suck too much, Coles's nifty touchdown aside. Another blocked kick? Is this the Clemson game again?

Old NFL Primetime > The Blitz > New NFL Primetime > Football Night in America

No Portis? That's unfortunate. And it looks like the Steve Smith question above, when applied to Portis and the Redskins, is a definite "yes". Nice to see Bledsoe slap down this Tony Romo foolishness for one week at least. How about Madden being unusually blunt about the Redskins' offense? "I don't think they have the right personnel." Damn it, you were supposed to suffer the performance-inhibiting injury IN Philadelphia, not three weeks beforehand! Asshole.

Hey, it's Ben! Would it have killed Peterson to at least drop his own name during the Jaguars' lineup introductions? ZZZZzzzzzzz... oh, wait, a Jaguar defender just smacked somebody in the mouth. LOL at Leftwich selling out Pennington as being slower than he is. I know it's only Week 2 and they were both home games but the Jags have made a couple of serious statements.

FANTASY REPORT

USFLaPa (1-1, W1): LDT ran wild again in a 100.80-67.64 win over Wade. Donovan will start next week because he's facing the 49ers while Brady draws the Broncos.

JackSux (2-0, W2): I don't think Jen's going to take being beaten by a Manning very well. Eli going nuts in the second half and Antonio Bryant going nuts, period, gave SHV a 154.28-110.73 win.