Redirected Outrage

The latest Terrell Owens drama bomb has me pissed off.

But not for the reasons you'd think.

It's been about 24 hours now since the story broke nationally. In that time, Owens has been wheeled into the emergency room, treated for a reaction to painkillers, apparently told police he had attempted to commit suicide, been released, attended Cowboys practice, and held a press conference.

Why the hell isn't he still in the hospital?

Maybe it's just me, but if someone comes into the hospital groggy and reacting to medication, and I've just been told that he said he tried to kill himself, regardless of the state he's in, he's not leaving the hospital until he's fully evaluated.

And he's also not going anywhere near a football field, practice or otherwise, for at least a week.

(For the record, I don't believe it was a suicide attempt -- T.O. loves himself too much. I also don't believe he's thinking about trying to get out of coming back to Philadelphia in two weeks after he said he would definitely be there -- if he wanted to do that, there are much easier and less risky ways. Plus, we all know T.O. has no filter or sense of tact; he said he'd be back for the Eagles game and he meant it.)

Who made that call? How did he get out so quickly? Do the Cowboys have that much pull? And if they do, it's disgraceful, even if it turns out to be much ado about nothing.

And the hell of it is, I don't even like the guy.

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 3: Where It All Begins... Again

Signal Finder: CIN @ PIT, CHI @ MIN, PHI @ SF

Is Chad getting triple-teamed or something? I haven't heard his name called yet. Ben hasn't looked all that sharp either, again. I don't think he's healthy yet. Carson's not doing much better, but at least he's making plays, and T.J.'s been huge in his first action. The Williams interception in the end zone was huge in retrospect. Um ... call a fair catch there, sir.

Anyone surprised that nobody's scored a touchdown in this game yet? No? That's the correct answer, believe it or not. You get the sense that we're going to see a game like this every week this year. I think it was the Winfield interception where there was a flag that everyone was sure was going to nullify the touchdown, but it didn't. I know I saw that happen at least once. Why is Brad Johnson running the football? Nice coverage on Davis there at the end.

Really, Who Gives A Rat's Ass?: Titans-Dolphins.

You're telling me nobody on that defense can reverse field and chase down Peyton Manning? The Jaguars are tired of moral victories against these guys.

Two teams off to disappointing starts. Something's gotta give, right? Steve Smith, y'all! But why is Keyshawn getting all the air time? Yes, Chris Simms played the entire fourth quarter with a ruptured spleen. (Big ups to SportsCenter for the spleen Did You Know?, by the way.)

Kenny Albert and Brian Baldinger are our new Sam Rosen and Bill Maas. No Stallworth? The hell? CHICANERY RULES. The Westbrook touchdown run is the kind of run that his critics don't think he can make. This is what Norv Turner does best; the 49ers offense is showing some flashes here. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Man, that really never gets old. Did you notice how nobody realized what was happening for about three seconds? Even Dawkins was celebrating the stop until he turned and saw Patterson running. Why does Baldinger keep talking about Ryan Howard? It's just out of place. Hey, a Michael Robinson sighting! It's not happening again, is it? Yeah, let's nip that in the bud.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what makes them the Arizona Cardinals.

REVENGE THE TIME IS-- wow, the Seahawks sure slapped that down quick. It doesn't help that the Giants are taking the same stupid penalties they seem to do every week. I really overestimated the Giants' defense - these guys should be collecting tolls. I'm waiting for Eli to start channeling Scar from The Lion King: "I'm surrounded by idiots."

Jake Plummer's maligned? This is news? Meanwhile, the Broncos' defense has been handing out beatdowns every week and no one seems to notice. The Patriots are having problems.

The Falcons have no shot tonight, right? blocked punt Yeah, looks that way. Morten Andersen lives! "You know how old he is? He's 206."

FANTASY REPORT

USFLaPa (2-1, W2): Got 20 points each from Donovan and Keyshawn to beat Will. Yes, Donovan started over Brady, and as long as the Patriots' passing offense functionally resembles the Ravens', it'll stay that way.

JackSux 3 (2-1, L1): Dupin kicked my ass with Westbrook's and Portis's big games. I benched Coles here, but Houshmandzadeh had a big game and Randle El stepped up. Chad needs to get with the program, though. I thought this was my earliest loss in a Rob-run league ever, but research showed that I lost the first game two years ago by 1.5 points or something ridiculous.

RANKINGS

TOP 3:
1. Cincinnati (3-0): Imagine when they peak
2. Chicago (3-0): Grossman's showing me something I didn't think he had
3. Indianapolis (3-0): Though running game is a concern

BOTTOM 3:

30. Tennessee (0-3): Titans paying for botching QB situation
31. Oakland (0-2): Hmmm... to use my line now or save it?
32. Houston (0-3): I could conceivably put "Should have drafted Reggie Bush" here every week but that'd be a bit much

By the Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: Seared In Its Own Juices

Signal Finder (since I should probably be including radio, also): NYG @ PHI, NE @ NYJ, KC @ DEN

When Roy Williams guaranteed victory, did he specifically say this week?

What was THAT? Has the humidity already gotten to Akers? It is hot here today. Apparently the Eagles stole this no-huddle from the Colts last week. The prevailing theme so far seems to be "blown pass coverages". And it continues! Things are getting contentious. When they showed Jones's jam on Shockey I immediately thought, "That's the flag, isn't it?" Things are GETTING CONTENTIOUS. The crowd reacting to the Akers miss was priceless. Do the Giants even know Smith is on the field? That may be one of the cheapest touchdowns ever. I'm against the Eagles going for it here, and that wasn't even close. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. I don't know why Coughlin's so angry; this review can only help him. Oh, they've fucked this all up. THINGS ARE GETTING CONTENTIOUS. What? He KICKED him? What the FUCK? Good Lord. But this is what Eli does. I've got a bad feeling about this. What's an 'illegal snap'? Anyone? If this was a playoff game, Plaxico drops that. What a disgrace.

306 rushing yards? Is that a record or something? Modern era, at least?

Something's very wrong with the Panthers. Do they really miss Steve Smith that much? Oh, in case y'all forgot; Julius Peppers? Still a bad-ass. WTF Chris Gamble. They just gave you the ball voluntarily and you're gonna give it back? Wow, Ryan Longwell now has a higher passer rating than Aaron Brooks. Was he out of bounds? Seriously, I'm asking. Oh, there's the ball; never mind. Wait, that came from the sideline? WTF John Fox.

"Sprained shoulder." Riiiiiiiight. Are the Ravens ripping off the Rams from last week? Oh, a safety. OK.

You know the saying, "If you have two quarterbacks, you don't have any"? What if you have three, and three running backs on top of it? Hey, a ... Charlie Whitehurst sighting?

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Patriots-Jets. So are the Pats just going to split out their tight ends now? Is that the plan? Did these two teams watch the end of regulation of Eagles-Giants and say, "Hey, that looks entertaining. Let's try that"? But the Jets suck too much, Coles's nifty touchdown aside. Another blocked kick? Is this the Clemson game again?

Old NFL Primetime > The Blitz > New NFL Primetime > Football Night in America

No Portis? That's unfortunate. And it looks like the Steve Smith question above, when applied to Portis and the Redskins, is a definite "yes". Nice to see Bledsoe slap down this Tony Romo foolishness for one week at least. How about Madden being unusually blunt about the Redskins' offense? "I don't think they have the right personnel." Damn it, you were supposed to suffer the performance-inhibiting injury IN Philadelphia, not three weeks beforehand! Asshole.

Hey, it's Ben! Would it have killed Peterson to at least drop his own name during the Jaguars' lineup introductions? ZZZZzzzzzzz... oh, wait, a Jaguar defender just smacked somebody in the mouth. LOL at Leftwich selling out Pennington as being slower than he is. I know it's only Week 2 and they were both home games but the Jags have made a couple of serious statements.

FANTASY REPORT

USFLaPa (1-1, W1): LDT ran wild again in a 100.80-67.64 win over Wade. Donovan will start next week because he's facing the 49ers while Brady draws the Broncos.

JackSux (2-0, W2): I don't think Jen's going to take being beaten by a Manning very well. Eli going nuts in the second half and Antonio Bryant going nuts, period, gave SHV a 154.28-110.73 win.

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 1: Home Sour Home

The new theme song... leaves me nonplussed. Nice of NBC to pick up the tradition of the individual player intros. Can I just mention now how strange it is to see Al Michaels holding an NBC mic? Nice leap, sir. It is REALLY LOUD down on that field ... I can barely hear Costas. Nice play call on the Batch-Miller hook-up, but is Miller that fast or is Will Allen that slow? Whoa, his knee was down. Why aren't the Dolphins challenging this? Wait... you mean they did? Wow, somebody was asleep at the switch on that one. When DID they get rid of the replay buzzer? And will this bring it back? Nice read of the play by Polamalu. Did someone get a piece of that kick? Reed never misses that badly. Aaaaaand the Dolphins give it right back.

View Finder: PHI @ HOU, NYJ @ TEN, NO @ CLE (end), DAL @ JAX, Federer @ Roddick

New graphics for everybody!

Vince Young, y'all! Has Pacman Jones always had "P. Jones" on the back of his jersey? Like that's his actual name?

AGAINST: The new referee uniforms.

Is this... is this pass protection? From the TEXANS? It's an insane world. And Carr looks like he likes it. Over/under on T.O. references: Seven. Nice fake by Donovan, and Stallworth ended up ridiculously open. Maybe I should have made that the over/under for the first half. Jeez. Excellently done, sirs. Wali Lundy? Wow. I'm fairly certain I saw him play in high school.

Braylon's gotta catch that.

How 'bout that new Mike Martz offense! Johnny: "Man I hate ugly wins AND Ford Field. I hope they burn that fucker down."

All of one yard to start. Well played. Also, what's with the Cowboys seemingly opening every season these days on the road against an AFC team? When did it become "Maurice Jones-Drew", anyway? I'm just waiting for Fred Taylor to get hurt, myself. Hey, a Reggie Williams sighting! The Jaguars have pretty much owned the second half. You know who hasn't been all that good is Bledsoe. Is this really an upset? The Jags were a playoff team last year.

I'm just glad the game's finally being played. The Giants aren't letting the Colts run the ball at all, really. But they keep dropping interceptions. Man, they just look sloppy in general. The Colts have been trying to replace Harper for years and he keeps sticking around by doing things like that. What a time for Shockey to have a blonde moment. Coughlin's gonna pitch a fit.

Is that Lee Corso as the mascot in the Nike commercial? (Edit: It is. And Leinart's the backup QB.)

AGAINST: The Vikings' new shoulder striping. I seem to remember the Vikings' punter-as-new-holder story being something of a big deal in the offseason and then that happens. Clearly HANDS is not among Troy Williamson's buzzwords. Theismann: "Sean Taylor doesn't care who he hits." I don't know about anybody else but I thought Tony owned Joe on Tirico's "Does Taylor's reputation work against him when it's the difference between a flag being thrown or not?" question.

Wow, when did the Raiders sign the Texans' offensive line? Andrew Walter? Already? This is surprising mostly because it's happening so soon. For some reason I was sure he was a lefty.

FANTASY REPORT

USFLaPa (0-1, L1): WTF. Now I know how the Panthers feel. I got ambushed by the Cargers defense and lost to Shaken Baby Syndrome by five. (Of course, if I hadn't started Brady over McNabb this could have been avoided.)

JackSux III (1-0, W1): Now this is more like it. A 141-102 win over Brady's Bunch. If SHV actually scored touchdowns, we'd be dangerous.

Fearful Forecast 2006

NFC EAST

N.Y. Giants (4) - Eli Manning's continued improvement will be the key to the G-men's fortunes. An overhauled defensive back seven will help, headlined by OLB LaVar Arrington, who's desperate for a fresh start and a chance to stick it to his former team.

Philadelphia (5) - Overly optimistic? Yes. (Remember, I'm biased.) But what you also have to remember is that everything that could go wrong for a team in a season short of a death went wrong for the Eagles last year. (Jerome McDougle getting carjacked and shot didn’t even crack the top five.) Donovan McNabb is healthy and has something to prove, the defense should return to form, and new WR Donte' Stallworth will help the offense.

Dallas - Way too many questions. Was Bill Parcells actually considering Tony Romo as a serious option at quarterback? Is last season's catastrophic playoff miss still in new kicker Mike Vanderjagt's head? Can the offensive line keep Drew Bledsoe upright? Oh... and the T.O. time bomb is already ticking.

Washington - The Redskins won their last five to reach the playoffs with a pedestrian offense, and I don't know if it's gotten any better. Antwaan Randle El only caught 35 passes last year, Brandon Lloyd's nothing but a highlight reel, and Mark Brunell's dangerously close to the end.

NFC NORTH

Minnesota (3) - How do you clear out all of your playmakers on offense and get picked to win a division title? Simple: You play in a horrible division with a very easy schedule (they get Carolina, New England and St. Louis at home) and the most reliable starting quarterback in said division. If new RB Chester Taylor proves he’s a No. 1 guy, this team will be helped immensely.

Chicago - They're not going to sneak up on teams anymore, and if opponents can luckbox their way into 13 points, they'll win because the Bears did absolutely nothing to improve their offense. Rex Grossman still isn't any good, and Brian Griese's his backup.

Detroit - This team is screwed for at least the next three years because of a multitude of bad decisions. New head coach Rod Marinelli may have the league's most thankless job at the moment. Jon Kitna, while not a terrible quarterback, is not the guy who's going to clean up this mess.

Green Bay - Brett Favre will immediately regret this decision. Didn't I say that last year? And every single move the Packers made was designed with the idea of getting him to retire in mind, and that didn't work. QUARTERBACK PROJECTION FOR 2006: Aaron Rodgers starts a game this year.

NFC SOUTH

Carolina (1) - Steve Smith's balky hamstrings are cause for concern, but his maturation and mergence last year made a good team borderline great. The Panthers have very few weaknesses and could win it all.

Atlanta (6) - Lost in the Falcons' overall drop-off last season was the fact that the defense suffered a drop-off. John Abraham should help fix that, bolstering the pass rush to help out their young corners. Also - and this is based on little more than a few games of observation where he seemed to start trusting his WRs more and a hunch - I think Michael Vick's gonna have a big year.

Tampa Bay - And it'll come at the expense of the Bucs, who are good enough to win 10 games and not get out of one of the league's toughest divisions. Chris Simms showed signs of being a keeper and will get every chance to succeed, but he needs WR Michael Clayton to bounce back.

New Orleans - Things can only go up for the Saints, whose collective football IQ took a big leap when Jim Haslett was fired and Aaron Brooks was allowed to leave. Drew Brees and Reggie Bush were brought in to energize the offense and the city, but there's still a lot of work to do to make this team respectable.

NFC WEST

Seattle (2) - Last year's Super Bowl losers have to deal with the Madden cover curse on top of it. And Shaun Alexander's not going to have a repeat of last season - that just doesn't happen. But what's gonna save them is the mediocrity of their division.

St. Louis - It'd be almost impossible for Scott Linehan to be a worse game-day coach than Mike Martz, so that's a step up. They filled a lot of holes in the offseason and still have plenty of offensive talent. That and a relatively easy schedule could set this team up as a surprise playoff team.

Arizona - The addition of Edge was vital, and Matt Leinart falling into their laps should bode well for the future, but until they prove otherwise, they're still the Arizona Cardinals. I'll believe it when it happens. Not a moment sooner.

San Francisco - Their best defensive player left to sign with a division rival. Their best offensive player is a rookie tight end. This ... this is gonna take a while.

AFC EAST

New England (2) - Is the Deion Branch situation the beginning of the end? Too soon to tell. But the Pats lost some key players and may be reeling after a rare playoff loss. That aside, they're not going to beat themselves.

Miami - The Dolphins actually came on last season, showing that they're buying what Nick Saban's selling. Then they went out and grabbed Daunte Culpepper, whose recovery from completely shredding his knee has been remarkable. But it'll all be for naught if he plays like he did before he got hurt last year. Their defense is showing its age a bit but is still solid.

Buffalo - The Bills haven't done anything right since drafting Willis McGahee three years ago. Other than him, Nate Clements and London Fletcher, there's very little to like here. They'd be a candidate for the worst team in the league if not for...

N.Y. Jets - Last year the bottom fell out, and whether it looks like it or not, the Jets are starting over. Rookie offensive linemen D’Brickashaw Ferguson and Nick Mangold should anchor the line for the next 10 years. Who will be behind them is another matter entirely.

AFC SOUTH

Indianapolis (3) – Dominic Rhodes and rookie Joseph Addai should pick up for the departed Edgerrin James, but I’m worried that the Colts have taken too many hits to their collective psyche with their playoff failures to make another big run at a Super Bowl.

Jacksonville (6) – The Jaguars sneaked into the playoffs last year and may have to do so again. The offense needs to find another level if this team wants to be a Super Bowl contender.

Houston - Mario Williams may turn out to be a top player, but the Texans still drafted the wrong guy No. 1. The biggest surprise here is that David Carr's still alive.

Tennessee - There's chaos in Nashville right now, where the last-minute addition of Kerry Collins has people wondering about the quarterback situation. But which of Travis Henry, Chris Brown and LenDale White will be the main running back? And will Pac-Man Jones ever pull his head out of his ass?

AFC NORTH

Pittsburgh (1) - Ben's health problems notwithstanding, the champs are still the champs, and they didn't lose anyone who can't be replaced. And don't forget, they didn't win the division last year.

Cincinnati (5) - Carson Palmer looks fine coming back from his knee surgery, and will again be at the helm of one of the league's best offenses. An improved defense will help make life easier for the Bengals, and it'll have to be with their brutal schedule.

Baltimore - Kyle Boller finally started getting it late last season, but Steve McNair was brought in because head coach Brian Billick's job is on the line, whether anyone will admit it or not. While his presence will help, I don't think it'll be enough in what's become a much tougher division.

Cleveland - The Browns still aren't good, but new DE Willie McGinest brings winning credentials and badly needed leadership, and Kellen Winslow II and Braylon Edwards can add some firepower and attitude if they stay healthy for once.

AFC WEST

Denver (4) - Is the Jake Plummer era already ending? The drafting of QB Jay Cutler would seem to say so. It really doesn't matter anymore who's running the ball for this team, but I fear Cutler's presence will mess with Plummer's head, and we all know wht happens when Plummer's head's messed up.

San Diego - I still don't like that they let Drew Brees walk when they could have gotten something for him but whatever. They still have LDT, and he’s going to have to carry even more of the load until Philip Rivers and the defense prove themselves. Fortunately, LDT’s good enough to do that.

Kansas City - Larry Johnson's studliness aside, I think their window's closed. The rest of the offense is getting old, the wide receivers are still crappy, and the defense still hasn't undergone the overhaul it's needed for years.

Oakland - They might as well have brought Kerry Collins back if they were going to sign Aaron Brooks instead. You think Jerry Porter's pissed off now (and there's a certain irony in a team with Randy Moss having an unhappy WR and it's NOT Moss), what's gonna happen after Brooks throws the other way into double coverage? Plus they lost their best defensive back and DE Derrick Burgess is on schedule to rip his knee up again.

WILD CARD

N.Y. Giants over Philadelphia; Atlanta over Minnesota
Indianapolis over Jacksonville; Cincinnati over Denver

DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS

Carolina over Atlanta; N.Y. Giants over Seattle
Indianapolis over New England; Pittsburgh over Cincinnati

CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS

Carolina over N.Y. Giants
Pittsburgh over Indianapolis

SUPER BOWL XLI

Carolina over Pittsburgh