From an email. I don't think she'll mind.
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"If I could possibly offend you by speaking about any holiday...
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for a socially conscious, low-stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of a holiday on or near the date of the winter solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious and/or secular persuasion of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, inclusive of the choice not to engage in any religious or secular traditions.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish, at the sole discretion of wisher.
A merry non-demoninational holiday to you.
For those of you who aren't tight ass, jerk-offs who are offended by everything
merry christmas!!
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I'm ghost like Swayze. See you Tuesday.
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