Chris Simms on the road? Whatever.
Coughlin never looks happy. He can't even manage "nonplussed." Of course, he's only got about 16 players left. Who taught the Chiefs how to tackle? This is embarrassing. Run, Tiki! Run! Is anybody going to try to stop a running back today? Guess not. Personally, I'm fine with the Giants winning the division.
View Finder: PHI @ STL, PIT @ MIN, DAL @ WSH
No, the sign you're not having a good year is when your game gets swapped back to a 1:00 slot. The "Embraceable Ewes"? They better be the hottest women alive. I'm trying to pay attention here but this game is just so bad. Faulk still has it, sort of. Neither quarterback hit 100 yards passing? That's a record, right? I still don't know where Bartrum came from. Faulk standing on the sideline during the final drive? Did Martz come back and not tell anybody?
You know how wild animals become more dangerous when they're wounded? That's the Chargers. That's a good number for Merriman to be wearing, I think. Is it just me or have the Chargers completely bottled up Edge? Interesting that the Colts ended up going back to September and relied on their defense to get them out of this hole. It's hard to keep these guys down, yet it's still too close. It seems like the Chargers have deflected about nine passes. Why's Turner in the game? Oh. Aw. I was hoping they'd do it.
And here's the same thing again with the dangerous wounded animals. The Vikings' red zone meltdowns are making me wonder if the end zones have been over-pollinated or quarantined or something. Well, when you can't throw it... *crosses off Vikings*
If the Dolphins had a quarterback, they'd be dangerous.
You know, Reggie Bush may swerve us all and go back. It's not like there isn't a precedent for it. And you could argue that the Cardinals need him more than the Texans do anyway -- he can't pass-block that I know of.
Man, all those angry fans in Bengals colors... that's just... wrong. The great thing about Chad's non-celebration was that he looked around for a few seconds like he didn't know what he was gonna do. Which may have been it, actually -- he went minimalist on us. Wow. Next thing you know, the Clippers are gonna be in first place. *Is handed bulletin* What? WHAT?
And now it's time for Eagles fans to indulge in their second-favorite pastime: rooting against the Cowboys. What the hell, Brunell, you couldn't do this last week when I needed you? Damn you. I couldn't enjoy this as much as I'd liked because it was the Redskins.
Browns 9, Raiders 7. Yeah, that's about right.
Bet ESPN didn't think this one would shape up to be as interesting and important as it is. Hmmm. First to 10 wins? Man, guys are getting hit big-time on both sides. I'd make Simmons' "Is that... is that Rex Grossman's music?" joke here but nobody'd recognize the actual music. Still, that's an... oddly timed move. The Carpenter interception/immediate fumble happened earlier in the Lions game but they got it back. I'm surprised Jenkins got up after the hit he took. Ouch.
To answer Johnny's question, it's the same thing that was happening to Joe Paterno the last few years... everybody knows the end's coming, but nobody wants to see it end like this. (Well, except maybe Vikings fans.)
FANTASY REPORT
JackSux: Powered by Tiki, I beat Johnny 76-49 to reach the finals, where I'll face... Rob in a rematch of last year's semifinal.
aPa SmackDown!: We beat Nate and will play Doom for fifth place.
RANKINGS
TOP 3
1. Indianapolis (13-1) - Now the real fun begins
2. Denver (11-3) - Keep rolling along
3. Cincinnati (11-3) - Nothing less than the beginning of a new age
BOTTOM 3
30. Green Bay (3-11) - Giving up 48 to the Ravens?!?!?
31. San Francisco (2-12) - Only Jets have scored fewer points
32. Houston (2-12) - Make your own joke, folks
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