Tuesday, December 14, 2004

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 14: Thinning The Herd Through Wanton Violence

YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE at the Ravens' home stadium again. I was hoping we wouldn't have any repeats, but alas. Still no Jamal? What we're seeing here with Boller is him finally getting confortable and the coaches allowing him to take risks. Having Heap back is huge - it turns this team into a new Chargers-style offense where the TE is the focal point, though I still think I'd rather have the Bolts' receivers. This game just Would. Not. End. Is... is that Kurt Warner's music?

I... I don't know why you call that play. Especially at that point in the game. I want Moss on the receiving end of any chicanery that might ensue. That's a game you not only can't lose, but you especially can't lose like that. Now I move that the Bills represent the NFC North in the playoffs. Anyone?

*crossess off Cowboys* I'm sorry, but if you play like that at home against the dumbest team in football, you don't need to be in the playoffs.

"PLAYOFFS?! Don't talk about... oh, wait, my kid? OK then."

*crosses off Bengals* Although this is sort of what they had in mind when they made the switch to Palmer. It just didn't come off quite as well. Next year. Dillon can lie all he wants, but he wanted 350 yards and eight touchdowns. Are you kidding me? Another pick for Troy Brown. Have you considered a career change?

Looks like McGahee was right after all.

This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Scott Linehan; 2. Chris Chandler; 3. Jake Plummer; 4. Mike Sellers; 5. Vinny Testaverde; 6. A McCown brother.

I don't care who you are or who's hurt or whatever; after the fourth interception, you're gone. Let's not forget that the Panthers are doing this without their four best players, too.

SING THE SONG.

Not only is shaving his head a loving gesture on Favre's part, but he kinda pulled off the look, I thought. I stuck the "next year" tag on the Lions, too, and I'll stand by that.

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Dolphins-Broncos.

Old-time running. Gotta love it. This is a proving ground of sorts for the Jets, much like their visit to New England. And just like that game, they're hanging around, and this is a team that can pick you off if you let them hang around. This may have been Ben's worst game, but Chad wasn't much better. Okay, three things here on the Bettis pass and why it's better than the Moss pass: 1. Your best receiver isn't throwing it; 2. It's not a dire situation late in the game; and 3. It worked.

Anyone know who was announcing the 49ers-Cardinals game? Were they temps? Did Fox hire them for the day or something? This was the Yahoo! Pro Pick 'Em Upset of the Week and a game I wouldn't bet if my family was in front of a firing squad.

You know, the Redskins may be the second-dumbest team in the league, but their screw-ups only lead to penalties and not points for the other team. Give them this, though... they actually play well at times. These guys are beating the hell out of each other - I'm waiting for Freak to snap in half. OUCH. And you hate to see this, especially on a clean hit. Somebody cover Cooley, please! Thanks.

This has the marks of being another one of Those Games all over it, doesn't it? And so it was as neither team can stop the other. That personal foul call at the end was shaky at best.

FANTASY REPORT
tSC Playoffs:
So with Bulger out, I swapped out Isaac Bruce for Anquan Boldin since the Panthers were on a roll and I actually didn't trust Chandler to not get hurt during the game. It didn't make a huge difference, as I beat Tyler anyway (though Boldin did have more points). Rob beat Butch and is next. Give Dupin Kristen Bell in a Drew Bennett jersey and he's a happy man.

RANKINGS
TOP 3:

1. Pittsburgh - Bettis doing it all
2. New England - Don't bother checking the classifieds
3. Philadelphia - No style points this week

BOTTOM 3:
30. San Francisco - Should play the Cardinals every week
31. Cleveland - May be ASKED to leave this time around
32. Arizona - No end in sight

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