Sunday, February 13, 2022

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Reversed Gears

Bengals get the opening kickoff. They go three and out. Good start. Chiefs feeding McKinnon early again.


Chiefs challenge this spot... and win? Sure, OK, fine.


Bengals offering no resistance. Mahomes throws it SIDEARM to Hill for a touchdown. That's just not right. The Bengals are being even more workmanlike on this second drive. It's... actually working? But then they get inside the Chiefs' 15 and throw three straight incomplete passes, settling for a field goal. Mahomes with a deep ball to Hardman for 44 yards. McKinnon is left by himself and he gets 11 on 3rd and 3. Mahomes scrambles again, gets flushed out of the pocket, and somehow finds Kelce for a touchdown.


Not sure running the ball with Mixon is the best choice of action for the Bengals down 14-3. Hardman maybe could have caught that if he'd taken a better angle. But the Bengals were offsides. Edwards-Helaire with a nice pickup. Romo: "How long until you get rid of the punter?" Nantz says, "It's soon." Kelce makes a catch and weaves through traffic inside the 5. Mahomes flicks one to Hardman, who almost dropped it but didn't and walks into the end zone. Bengals pick up a safety blitz and Burrow finds Higgins for a first down. Two minute warning. Mixon run gets stuffed. Why are you calling that? Then Samaje Perine breaks a tackle and outruns two defenders and scores. 41 yards! Hill loses a second stutter-stepping deciding whether to go out of bounds or try to get more yards. Mahomes finds Kelce, then Pringle inside the 20. Time out with 13 seconds left.


DPI in the end zone on Apple, who's having a bad day. Chiefs are at the 1 with nine seconds. They get the second half kickoff, too? Fuck. This could be over in minutes. Mahomes throws it into the turf. Five seconds. Offense stays out. Mahomes throws... a screen? Hill doesn't make it! 21-10 Chiefs at halftime. What was THAT? Walker Hayes is playing halftime and he's drowning out the NFL Today crew, who are on the field doing halftime. That's a logistical failure on someone's part.


Also, yes, this song ("Fancy Like") absolutely sucks and can burn in hell. Chiefs get the ball to start the third quarter. Let's see if they can get the other side of this. Pass to Hill is broken up. Chiefs are punting. Now it's interesting.


Burrow to Higgins for 44. Then he tries to thread the needle for Sample but that doesn't work. Too high for Higgins and the Bengals punt. Hardman gets bumped on the return but doesn't draw a flag. Romo's not buying the contact, either. Hill gets hit out of bounds and that goes uncalled. This drive stalls and the Chiefs punt again. Finally the Bengals find Chase.


First and goal! Ingram sacks Burrow. Then he knocks down a screen on second down. Third down quick pass to Perine goes nowhere. McPherson hits from 31. Replay of the third down play where Romo sees that Perine should have gone left, where his blockers were. BIG MAN INTERCEPTION! Mahomes has to throw that ball higher. Fade to Chase for a touchdown! They go for two and get it! Mahomes gets sacked on third down. Sneed picks off Burrow! But the Chiefs can't do anything with that, either. This offense has died. Burrow gets away from Chris Jones — twice — and runs for a first down.


Another scramble on third down. Higgins! Chiefs force a 52-yard attempt. It's GOOD. Bengals lead with 6:04 left. Mahomes finds Kelce open in the middle of the field on 3rd and 1 for 18. Two minutes. Mahomes runs for 4 and gets pushed out of bounds. He runs around for about 10 seconds and ends up getting three yards after the spot. And that was with Hendrickson trying to knock the ball out of his hands. Was no one open?


Quick pitch to Kelce and he gets the first down. Bengals have to call time with 1:30 left. Romo mentions the scenario that says the Bengals should let the Chiefs score. Mahomes gets sacked again. Not great. Third and goal at the 9. Again, Mahomes doesn't seem to have anywhere to throw. He's sacked and fumbles, but guard Joe Thuney falls on it to save the game, at least for the moment.


Butker on for a 49-yarder with two seconds left. Bengals come after it. It's GOOD!


Chiefs win the toss and the crowd ERUPTS. That's the loudest cheer of this game. Apple jumps in front of Robinson but doesn't get the interception. Then Mahomes throws deep and he does get picked off! Bates knocks the ball out of Hill's hands and into Von Bell's.



Burrow finds Higgins over the middle for a first down and they're in range. Mixon gets seven. Mixon to the 12! Nantz and Romo wonder if the Bengals should just kick it now. Romo jokes about dropping the snap on an early field goal attempt but Nantz doesn't get it. McPherson on for 31. It's GOOD!!! Holy cow.




There was a path for the Bengals, but I figured it would have to be "Joe Burrow throws for 450-plus yards", not "Patrick Mahomes plays like absolute garbage in the second half." (Bengals 27, Chiefs 24, OT)

Interception! K'Waun Williams got a hand on the ball and Ward ends up with it. After the commercial, we se that Warner hit Stafford in the back of the head during the return, and that should have been a flag.



49ers should be embarrassed allowing Stafford to pick up that first down on the ground. Touchdown Kupp. That was too easy.


Garoppolo finds Aiyuk on the sideline but he can't stay inbounds. Screen to Deebo, who makes a couple of moves and just keeps going. He's shoved out at the goal line and it's called a touchdown. Beckham stretches out to save a third down throw. Rare drop from Kupp. Kupp with a sliding catch. Deep ball goes off Skowronek's hands. 49ers got lucky there as both he and Kupp were uncovered.


Buck circles Jarrett Stoll with his telestrator. He does NOT mention that he's Erin's husband. Gay misses wide right from 54. Did that even have the distance? Nick Scott lights up Deebo. Whoa. They pick up the flag because that hit wasn't late. He's back in two plays later. Gould gives the 49ers the lead to end the half. Why is Jalen Ramsey jawing with him? Come on, man. Rams go for it on 4th and short. Not a good sneak by Stafford. They're gonna measure. NOPE. McVay challenges and loses. Aiyuk with a big catch over the middle. Jennings elevates and fights through a tackle for another first down. The 49ers have attacked Troy Reeder in every game this season and found success in all three. Touchdown Kittle! That route can't be defended. Magic Johnson and Leonardo DiCaprio among the other celebrities here. Rams blow a second time out. Big play from Blanton, who's Higbee's backup. Kupp beats Williams for a touchdown. Juszczyk gets stopped on 3rd and 2. McVay challenges, claiming that he also fumbled. I don't know about this one, either.



Call STANDS and the Rams are out of time outs with 10 minutes left. Then the 49ers take a delay of game penalty on 4th and 2? What are these people doing? Then they PUNT. What?


Tartt drops an interception on an off-target long ball by Stafford. Ward hits Beckham in the helmet, adding 15 yards to a 30-yard catch. Kupp follows his blocks and gets a first down. Gay hits from 40 and we're tied at 17. Garoppolo gets away with another one. That should have been picked. 49ers going backwards. Aikman calls that drive "abysmal." Another catch by Blanton, who's having a game. You can't tackle Kupp by his jersey, my guy. Rams at the 49ers' 12. Bosa sacks Stafford from the ground. Take a shot! Or don't. Gay puts the Rams back in front with 1:46 left. Donald's all over Garoppolo, who just throws it out of there, and it gets picked off!


Is that how the Jimmy G era in San Francisco ends? Stafford, McVay and Andrew Whitworth embrace on the field. It was a year ago today that the Rams announced the trade for Stafford.


The Rams are going home... to be the road team. (Rams 20, 49ers 17)
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