Thursday, December 6, 2018

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 13: Give What You Take

At least interfere in a way that prevents the catch, Eli Apple. Play action yields another big play to Gallup. Dak goes down and somehow cut his hand — you can see the blood as he walks off. Field goal is good. Kirkwood drops a first-down pass. Holding? OK. Saints bring five and get to Dak again. I thought Thomas caught this, and so does he, and he goes right to Payton and tells him to throw the flag. Call stands and the Saints have to punt. Gallup already has three catches. Holding on Apple is declined (it also did not work). Buck: "There's a reason he was available." There's Cooper for the first time tonight. Good play there to slide Elliott around his blockers on the screen pass. Another screen pass to Elliott results in a touchdown. That was almost too easy. Maybe Taysom Hill shouldn't return kickoffs anymore? Aikman wouldn't mind getting rid of kickoffs altogether if it'll stop the unending penalties on returns. It's been a long time since we've seen a Cowboys defense that's actually good.




Cooper makes the catch but he fumbles and the Saints recover. Ingram with a run to the 20. Now the Saints fumble a catch at the 5, but it's then called incomplete. Payton challenging this one, too, as Thomas ended up with the ball at the Cowboys' 7. They win the challenge, but that's their last one with more than 10 minutes left in the second quarter. Kamara gets stopped at the 2. Saints go for it. Not even CLOSE. Lawrence comes across the line and tackled Kamara from behind. One pass and the Cowboys are out of the hole. This play to Cooper gets them to the 40. Prescott makes three Saints miss on a first-down run. Another completion to Cooper. Two minute warning. Dak fumbles but gets it back. Field goal is good. The Saints average 37 a game and have nothing with 45 seconds left. And after that Brees fumble, it'll stay that way. 13-0 Cowboys at halftime and nobody saw that coming.




Field goal isn't really what the Saints wanted here. The Saints' defensive front is holding up its end. Cowboys using their inside pressure to disrupt passing lanes. That shot downfield draws a pass interference flag. Saints run on 3rd and short and get stopped AGAIN.


The punter gets roughed, giving the Saints a first down. Randy Gregory out here screwing up again. The Cowboys have committed four penalties on this drive, two of which gave the Saints first downs. Touchdown Kirkwood! In traffic, no less. Saints are back in it and they really shouldn't be. Garrett wanted offensive pass interference on Kirkwood on that touchdown pass, and Pereira thinks it should have been called. (Seriously, has Randy Gregory helped the Cowboys at all?) Saints force a punt as the fourth quarter begins. Saints fumble, but there's a penalty. Gregory was offside. No turnover.


Brees gets sacked on a corner blitz. That's a ...good punt? Nope, the officials rule that the Saints player's hand was on the goal line. Meanwhile, they completely missed a helmet-to-helmet hit by Jaylon Smith on Kamara on the third down play before that.


Dak runs through two tacklers and dives for the first down. Gallup had his man torched and the ball went right through his hands. That's not a first down, and if Payton had a challenge left, he could have won that one.




Elliott runs for another first down. Prescott gets roughed, giving the Cowboys another first down at the Saints' 11. 3:21 left. Dak is sacked AGAIN. Fumble! Saints ball! Flag was on La'el Collins for holding and Good God, that's obvious. Brees gets pressured up the middle again and throws an interception! Call stands. Cowboys throw into the end zone, have Cooper, but it's dropped. Interference? That was both guys, not that it matters. Imagine being outcoached by Jason Garrett. (Cowboys 13, Saints 10)

Signal Finder: CHI @ NYG, BAL @ ATL, MIN @ NE

It's really not that interesting that Kyle Lauletta's up for the first time this year, guys. It's really not. That kickoff was a disaster on both ends. Interception! Touchdown Giants! Ogletree practically picked it out of Chase Daniel's hands. Two strong series so far for the Giants' defense.
Hey, that's Jordan Howard's biggest play in six weeks. Two Giants get caught completely off guard and Shaheen is wide open in the end zone. Touchdown Bears. Can't let a linebacker end up on Beckham. Oh, Eli.




Oh, Chase. Ogletree again! I'd love to know how Amukamara got away with that. The Bears almost got to that punt. Jordan Howard back. See? Robinson! WHAT. Direct snap to Howard on third down and that doesn't work. I thought he fumbled it for a brief second. Bears going for it. Akiem Hicks in on offense. HE GETS THE BALL. TOUCHDOWN BEARS.




That's probably a drive-killing sack by Leonard Floyd. And Barkley almost salvaged that. Giants are going for it! They pick it up! Are they gonna try a field goal here? From 57? It's GOOD! 14-10 Bears at the half. BECKHAM. TO. RUSSELL. SHEPARD. The Giants have clearly stopped giving a damn about convention. Maybe they didn't need to draft a quarterback this year. Shepard was playing center field. Also, the more Eli throws, the better it is for the Bears. Unless they forget to cover Barkley on 3rd and 5. The Bears probably need to make a stand here. I don't know why you're not throwing into the end zone from the two-yard line. Giants going for it? Sure, why not? Their season ended weeks ago. Absolute defensive collapse by the Bears as Beckham has half of the end zone to himself. NO ONE had any idea where he was. Touchdown. Something that hasn't come up enough is how much pressure Daniel's been under today as he gets sacked again. Weird sequence where the Bears lose a touchdown when the whistle was improperly blown on that big pass play to Cohen (he wasn't touched), then Delay of Game should have been called on the next play, then Daniel's next pass somehow doesn't get intercepted and Josh Bellamy goes low to catch it. There's been some bad quarterbacking in this game. Field goal is good. 24-17 with 9:45 left. Giants get two first downs and it's starting to look bad. Is this grounding? Yeah, that's grounding. Barkley back in after apparently banging his elbow on something. Mack with a sack! That's just abuse. So much for the field goal try. Bears are pinned at their own 2. Fumble! Giants recover! Sean Chandler repping Camden High and Temple University. Giants kill much less time than it feels like, then kick a field goal to go up 10. Daniel gets hit as he throws and still finds Cohen down the sideline. Add a roughing penalty and it's suddenly first and goal. Bears don't take any chances and kick the field goal. Icing an onside kick? Really, Giants? Bears get it! Cohen with another catch. He's got over 100 receiving yards. Daniel takes another bad sack instead of throwing the ball away. That's the Bears' last time out. Cohen AGAIN! First and goal with 11 seconds left! Pass interference on the Giants in the end zone. Three seconds left. OH MY GOD. COHEN passes to Anthony Miller for the touchdown! Extra point is good and we have overtime. Jesus Christ, Giants. Giants win the toss. Barkley down the sideline for 29 yards. Eli almost had Sterling Shepard in the end zone but he couldn't quite hold on. Field goal is good. Bad snap leads to a sack. No clue how Robinson caught that. Fumble! Bears get it back. Rinse and repeat! That's the third time on this drive. Fourth down and 9. Daniel under pressure... and the pass is knocked away! Wow, that's a terrible loss for the Bears. Good thing this isn't college. (Giants 30, Bears 27, OT)

Nice catch, Julio. The sun's in Nantz and Romo's eyes, somehow. I know the roof's open, but still. Ryan overthrows Coleman, who'd beaten his man. Falcons take the field goal. Keeping an eye on Lamar Jackson. The guy knows how to move in the pocket... you can see that on this third down pass to Crabtree. Little dangerous throw, but it worked. Touchdown Jackson! The Ravens are also using Ty Montgomery in the backfield. Just noticed that. Falcons try a 4th and 1 from midfield. It... does not work. Ravens run a fake punt! It went far better than the one Georgia tried yesterday in the same building. (By the way, I'm impressed that they seem to have gotten the end zones repainted in time. That game ended close to 8 last night. They had maybe 14 hours.) Jackson fumbles! Vic Beasley picks it up! Touchdown Falcons! Jackson was the only one with even a remote chance of tackling him, and he was blocked out twice. Ryan throws that one too hard to Jones in double coverage. Neither team doing a lot offensively right now. Ravens get a field goal to tie it going into halftime.
Jackson keeps it and gets inside the 10 for first and goal. Field goal is good and the Ravens go back in front. Wait, what? Griffin's in for the Ravens? What did I miss?







You read that right. Field goal is good. The Falcons' offense has been dormant. Jackson back in. He's made some risky throws today. But this offense is getting just enough to set up Tucker for field goals. 19-10 now. Ryan is sacked and fumbles! Touchdown and that feels like it's it. Ryan with a scramble? Sure, why not. Ridley touchdown catch gets called back. This one will not. Two-point conversion fails. (Ravens 26, Falcons 16)

I'm Sorry You Had To See That: Jaguars 6, Colts 0

We were supposed to get bonus coverage of Cardinals-Packers but Bears-Giants went into overtime and we never got there. That's the first time the Cardinals have ever won in Lambeau Field? Seriously? How is that possible? They've been around for 100 years! They've moved twice and changed their name three times! Also, we can officially call this the end for Mike McCarthy. Three hours later I didn't mean NOW! Whoa. Not sure how much difference this'll make except for it'll give the Packers a head start. By the way, I think it's the opposite of disrespectful that they fired him today. I think they're respecting him and what he did win there by cutting him loose now and not letting him twist in the wind. (Cardinals 20, Packers 17)

We come in at the end of a 27-yard run by Dalvin Cook with the Patriots already up 7-0. Patriots sack Cousins. Where's the holder? Field goal is no good. Brady is forced out of the pocket and runs for a first down? Is that a career long? Trae Waynes got kneed in the head by his teammate, it looks like. Pats driving again. White picks up a first down, as he does. Incomplete. Brady furiously whining for a flag, as per usual. GO FOR IT. Field goal is good. (Cowards.) Another good run by Cook; another good run by Cook squandered. Gronk with his first catch. Vikings challenge the spot and... win? Sure, why not. Now they're resetting the game clock back from the two-minute warning, forcing the Patriots to run a play beforehand. Direct snap to White does not work. Rudolph goes up and makes a play for 23 yards. Diggs finds room over the middle for another first down. Touchdown Thielen, his first catch of the game as he gets behind the defense in the corner of the end zone. Was that a baseball rundown? And they let Thielen get away? White gets a free run to about the Vikings' 25 but time runs out. 10-7 Patriots at halftime. Brady grounds the ball and gets away with it. Thielen lays out but can't make that catch. Patriots take over. Hogan makes a catch on 4th and 1 and just powers past the first down marker. Pats' offensive linemen keep getting caught holding. There'll be no field goal try after that.




Patriots are about to lose this challenge on this Rudolph catch. Yep. Field goal is good and we're tied. Brady hits Gronk over the middle for 15. White does some more White things. Touchdown Josh Gordon. Vikings do nothing on their next drive. That's a good punt return and the Pats will start at midfield. Pass interference? Fine, fine. Touchdown Develin. That holding penalty on Riley Rieff may have cost the Vikings their best shot at getting back into this. Why throw a four-yard route on 4th and 11 down by 14 points? Especially to Laquon Treadwell, whose career is sure to be rehabbed by the Patriots in three years? Brady finished this game with 1,000 career rushing yards, which is shockingly high. (Patriots 24, Vikings 10)

Well, it seems that Kareem Hunt failed to learn the lesson Jay-Z taught us all in that elevator with Beyonce's sister. And listen: We had jokes. We had a lot of jokes. But in the end, Hov did the right thing. Because he knew what he could have lost if he didn't. And I'll point out again: as much as the NFL dropped the ball on looking into this at the time, they still came down harder on Hunt than out legal system did. (Chiefs 40, Raiders 33)




I'm not sure which part of this is more impressive. (Seahawks 43, 49ers 16)

FLEXING. Wait, since when is Mike Pouncey a Charger? Also we have T.J. Watt vs. Derek Watt.




Chargers start with the ball. Keenan Allen down the middle. Another new kicker. Al says he's "stabilized" the position, then he proceeds to miss from 52. I'd have just signed Zlatan at this point. He can't be any worse. Ben goes deep and hits Brown at the 1. Conner punches it in. The Eli-Rivers trade is revisited. Switzer draws a pass interference penalty in the end zone. This time Conner needs two tries to score. Extra point is missed. Is it raining? No Melvin Gordon this week for the Chargers, as he has an MCL injury that's somehow not a tear. Touchdown Travis Benjamin. That was a pretty blatant false start on that play. Ben gets intercepted by Derwin James. Who's Defensive Rookie of the Year? Him or Denzel Ward? Illegal block on the return but it stands. Al and Cris compare him to Kam Chancellor. Steelers block the punt! Terry McAuley slips up and says "San Diego." Ben barely misses a wide-open Justin Hunter. Field goal is good. Chargers probably should have gotten a pass interference flag on that third down pass to Ekeler. Cris legitimately wonders why Derek Watt isn't D.J., since his middle name is Joseph. Juju with a big catch that he actually caught. Review of this Brown catch and I don't think it'll stand. James knocked him out of bounds before he could get his left foot down. Chargers get hit with defensive pass interference. Touchdown Brown! That pass was a howitzer and Brown outran double coverage. 23-7 Steelers at halftime. Keenan Allen time. Mike Williams for 20 at midfield. Somehow, that's touchdown Chargers and not an interception/touchback for the Steelers. That throw was right into double coverage and Allen caught it off the bounce. Chargers go for two and get it with Gates. Chargers finally get a sack. 3rd and 29? Cool. PUNT RETURN TOUCHDOWN. The Steelers' long snapper is walking off hurt, and that's important, too. Chargers go for two. Rivers gets rushed but still gets it to Allen. Tie game! Rivers family graphic. Which one's his wife? He still lives in San Diego and commutes every day. What. That's the Chargers' longest run of the night. Touchdown Justin Jackson, whoever HE is. Chargers... lead? Yeah. I don't believe it, either. Juju with a diving catch that I think leaves him short on 3rd and 10. They measure and he's short by about a ball length. Easy call to go for it, but Tomlin challenges first. Call stands. Conner dives and picks it up. Switzer gets absolutely pasted (helmet-to-helmet, which gets flagged) but holds on for the catch. So what's this? Not a fumble, I can tell you that. Touchdown... Samuels? He almost dropped it. PAT is good and we're tied again. Forty-five minute commute my ass. I've never been out of the Eastern time zone and I know that's not true. OK, now I'm seeing 90 minutes. I still don't buy it. Chargers can slow down here with all three time outs left. Another run by Jackson.




Chargers should be playing for seven here, really. Steelers force Ekeler out of bounds, stopping the clock. Watch that. Allen picks up 3rd and 4. Kick is up... no good! Steelers were offside! Badgley on again, this time from 34. BLOCKED! But they left early AGAIN! Dear God. Let's try this AGAIN. This one's GOOD! Even after the Steelers jump offfside a THIRD time. Christ.




(Chargers 33, Steelers 30)

Eagles get the ball first. Jeffery fights off two defenders and gets six on 3rd and 4. Wentz eludes pressure and somehow hits Tate in stride for 22 before Tate fumbles out of bounds. Eagles having trouble holding on to the ball, as Adams and Clement lose it on consecutive runs. Touchdown Tate and I have no idea how he caught it. Also, the Eagles scored on their opening drive? It's a Festivus MIRACLE! Odds are against AD breaking out tonight — the Eagles have historically bottled him up fairly well. Doctson gets into Eagles territory off of play action. Pass interference on LeBlanc gives Washington a first down on 3rd and 11. This is Jonathan Cooper's, like, sixth team, isn't it? First quarter ends with McCoy taking a sack after being flushed out of the pocket. 3rd and 20. 3rd and 30 after a penalty. Field goal is good. Defensive holding on a sack? Good job, D.J. Swearinger! That's not OPI. Wait, what happened to McCoy?




Scratch what I said about Peterson earlier. Ninety yards is a career long? Really? Wentz to Agholor for 39. Ertz gets to the 2. False start pushes the Eagles back, and Agholor gets stopped at the 1. No Ertz? Sneak, probably. Adams gets crushed, loses three yards and the Eagles end up with nothing. Sanchez throws to no one. He's now thrown a pass for the Eagles, Cowboys and Redskins. Not a terrible return by Sproles. Clement making moves. Sproles! Touchdown! That's good work by Kelce to hold that lead block on the linebacker. Bad tackling on that Reed catch and Washington's in Eagles territory. Then Sanchez to Crowder for 11.




Sanchez taking a shot deep? Out of Doctson's reach. Then he's hit as he throws and it's almost what happened last week. Hopkins good from 47. McCoy update: He broke his leg and he's out for the year. Jesus. Very quick 3 and out to start the second half. This is Tate's best game as an Eagle. And that drive ends with Wentz underthrowing Jeffery and Josh Norman picking him off. That was Sanchezesque. Second-string right guard goes off for Washington. They show the clip of Witten losing his helmet in 2007. They're not even trying to pick up these third and longs.




Nice run by Adams. The Eagles' rushing attack features two local guys who were undrafted free agents.




Grats, Zach. Jeffery picks up 3rd and 5. The Eagles' screens have been on point tonight. Doug got those from Andy.




Slant to Jordan Matthews for the touchdown! Eagles go for two up seven. Tate picks it off the turf and the conversion's good. Tessitore and Witten bring in Lisa Salters to handle the inevitable Reuben Foster discussion. I'm not sure who Washington talked to. It sure wasn't the Tampa police.




Witten (who's done work for domestic violence survivors, and whose mother is one) comes out ALL THE WAY against it. Which is odd because he was supportive of the Cowboys bringing in Greg Hardy when he was still playing. During the discussion, Sanchez gets blitzed by Sidney Jones and Nathan Gerry picks it off.




Flea-flicker is incomplete. Field goal is good. 25-13 with 11:41 left. Pitchy-pitchy woo-woo at the 11-minute mark? That's the work of a desperate man. Not sure why they're punting — they're done if they lose this game. Time of possession is almost double for the Eagles. Elliott makes it 28-13. Why yes, Fletcher Cox IS still underrated. Talk then turns to Aaron Donald, who's having an unreal season. Offensive holding on a sack. LOVE IT. Peters off injured again. An underreported thing with the Eagles is that they need to find his successor in the offseason, because I'm not sure he's on the roster right now. crosses off Redskins (Eagles 28, Redskins 13)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. L.A. Rams (11-1) — Kings in L.A., but not of it
2. New Orleans (10-2) — Seriously, what happened here?
3. Kansas City (10-2) — So now what?
4. Houston (9-3) — That's nine in a row now

BOTTOM 4:
29. Jacksonville (4-8) — So much for the Cody Kessler era
30. N.Y. Jets (3-9) — Get a roster, then we'll talk
31. San Francisco (2-10) — Pete Carroll's war against the West Bay continues
32. Oakland (2-10) — At least you tried

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