Thursday, November 8, 2018

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 9: Kings and Pawns

First, read some tributes to Dr. Z. FOX opens with Metallica's "Harvester of Sorrow", which seems appropriate, but not for the reasons they expected. Raiders get the ball first. Ex-Cowboy and Giant Dwayne Harris gets 14. Doug Martin's on the Raiders? Martavis Bryant's STILL on the Raiders? Field goal is good. Who the hell is THIS? Nick Mullens holds some Southern Mississippi passing records (significant because they used to be Brett Favre's passing records), and C.J. Beathard hurt his wrist on Sunday. You sure that's not a Phil Dawson jersey, Joe? (He also wore No. 4.) First pass is complete to Goodwin for 10. This isn't bad so far. Garcon WIDE open for the touchdown! No idea why Reggie Nelson came up to the line — Garcon just blew past him. Get the kid that ball.




49ers get the ball back and Mullens finds Garcon in the middle of the defense again. That's his first miss after completing his first six passes. Brieda's push doesn't look like he got the first down, but the second push does. The Raiders missed a tackle that would have lost him two yards. Looks like some miscommunication between the two Niners receivers on that second-down pass, which was also almost intercepted. No wires crossed on that one. Touchdown. PAT makes it 14-3. Buck: "Mullens is selling more jerseys!"




Raiders pick up some momentum, but Carr gets sacked for the third time already. Third and 27? Sure. Raiders punt, then get a needed stop on their own side. Punt downed at the 6. That was almost an interception but it bounces into Jalen Richard's hands for a 35-yard pickup. Another sack on 3rd and 7. We got towels flying around on the field. Mullens finds seventh-rounder Richie James for 53 on 3rd and 7. Eight different 49ers have caught passes. James drops a ball while open in the middle. Gould hits as usual. 17-3.




James drops the kickoff fin the end zone. Brieda almost fumbles this handoff. Then Mullens throws into traffic with two receivers in the same area — and Kittle makes a fantastic one-handed catch and goes for 72 yards! Kittle gets open around the corner and scores. Raiders go three-and-out. Touchdown Raheem Mostert! 53 yards! Raiders getting crushed by big plays tonight. Congrats, Gruden. You did this.




Mark Davis spends money as badly as his father did sometimes, but all the time. The Herschel Walker trade is brought up.




Joe and Troy share Willie McCovey stories, as we are near San Francisco. Sort of. (Santa Clara may actually be equidistant from SF and Oakland, or close to it.) Raiders finally get a big gain, this one to Harris as the third quarter ends. A.J. McCarron in with 11 minutes left, and I'm out.





Temple-UCF has been popping ALL NIGHT. That strength of schedule is BAD, though. Favre called Mullens right after the game? That's great. Really. (49ers 34, Raiders 3; Knights 52, Owls 40)

Signal Finder: PIT @ BAL, ATL @ WSH, TB @ CAR (end), LAR @ NO

The Ravens have maybe over-invested in tight ends the last few years? I'm not sure what that's about. Flacco throws short of Crabtree on 3rd and 9. By the way,we're past the bye week and Le'veon Bell is still not with the Steelers, and the only reason he hasn't been traded is because he still hasn't signed his tender. Big Ben pooch punt? WHAT? Flacco hits Moore for 30. Lamar Jackson in motion across the field. Flacco throws way too high for John Brown with Jackson wide open. Field goal is good. Antonio Brown getting in early. Two straight completions to Conner, the second ending up in the end zone. Roethlisberger with a weird sidearm throw. Steelers going for 4th and 1 from the Ravens; 41. Fouts wonders if Roethlisberger's broken finger takes the sneak out of play and I'm wondering when he broke his finger. Quick slant to Juju gets it. Another catch by Conner gets the Steelers inside the 10. Touchdown Conner. Crabtree lays out to try to catch this but can't hold on. That would have been a touchdown. Jackson in at quarterback, but the Steelers sniff out his run. Tucker good from 23 again and it's 14-6. This won't be touchdown Ravens, as Vance McDonald was clearly down before the ball came out. The refs incorrectly call it an interception for some reason. Gene Steratore points out that when this gets overturned, there will be a 10-second runoff (leaving 27 seconds) because the inital call of a turnover and touchdown stopped the clock. Call is overturned, but the clock is reset to 43 seconds, then the runoff happens. Nothing else happens before the half. Juju being helped off. Ben tries a sneak at the goal line. Did it work? It did! Touchdown. Extra point is barely not good. Montage of Boswell's missed extra points this season. Flacco throws a floater into the end zone that gets dropped by two players, but defensive pass interference gives the Ravens the ball at the 1. Touchdown Alex Collins. Roethlisberger down.




He then hits Jesse James (who made a juggling catch) for a huge gain. Juju's back. Antonio Brown may have wanted a hold on that third-down pass breakup by Jimmy Smith. Field goal is good. Wait, that's a catch? Oh, the ball went off T.J. Watt's back after he knocked it our of Crabtree's hands,and Buck Allen caught it. The Ravens managed to lose yards on that, because of course they did. Field goal is good. 23-16. Antonio Brown picks up eight on 3rd and 5, and that makes the Ravens ' job a lot harder. Juju converts another third down. Roethlisberger takes a smart sack on 3rd down because an incompletion would have stopped the clock, and the Ravens are out of time outs. Flacco takes a sack that's... less smart. These refs keep adding time to the clock. It went from nine to 11 to 13 seconds. False start. Ravens try some street ball on the last play that fails. The Ravens were 3-1 at one point. If they fall apart, with Ozzie Newsome stepping down as GM after the season, should we be wondering about John Harbaugh? (Steelers 23, Ravens 16)

No Trent Williams means Grady Jarrett may be able to tee off like he just did. That's a 15-yard sack. Someone lost track of that punt. Matt Ryan's 4-0 against these guys. Josh Norman with a good pass breakup on a ball intended for Jones. Ryan scrambles and finds Hooper for a first down. Coleman catches a screen pass and takes it for a 39-yard touchdown! Washington has never led in either of their losses. Doctson can't come up with that sliding catch. This Falcons punt returner has made two odd decisions so far. Eli-esque interception by Ryan. Coleman drops a swing pass. Jones picks one out of the air in traffic. Ito Smith (who's essentially Freeman's replacement) with some strong hurdling form on that touchdown run. 14-0 Falcons.




Alex Smith gets away from three guys in the backfield, then takes off for 30 yards and gets hit hard at the end. Oh, sure, Doctson makes THAT catch. Touchdown, as his elbow hit inbounds. That's a potential two-minute drill-killing sack by Matt Ionaddis, the one not-Alabama guy on Washington's defensive line. (He's from TEMPLE, of all places.) Or not, as Ridley splits three guys on defense, makes the catch, and sprints 40 yards for a touchdown! You could see him shift gears. This also makes me realize just how many Alabama players are on both of these teams. Holding on Morgan Moses, who's back in the game, cancels out a big play that could have given Washington a shot at a field goal. 21-7 Falcons at halftime. Falcons getting good runs on what had been a top-5 run defense. Ryan finds Coleman, who gets the edge and the touchdown. Now Brandon Scherff's hurt. D.C.'s running out of linemen. 3RD AND 34??? That ends the way you'd expect.




Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix has played most of the game despite just arriving last week. Vernon Davis catch sets up first and goal. Bibbs scores on the next play. Norman stonewalls Jones to force a three and out. Davis! Norman interferes with Jones to prevent a touchdown. No way this Sanu touchdown stands with all those flags. Yep, OPI for the second time in four plays. Field goal is good. Now THAT'S an interception. Jones picks up a 3rd and 2. And keeps going! TOUCHDOWN!




It only took half the fucking season, Sark. The Falcons are 4-4 and suddenly back in this thing, and the NFC just got even tighter. (Falcons 38, Redskins 14)

We join this game with the Panthers having just scored again, and Fitzpatrick throws an interception to DeSean Jackson, who was not open and very well covered. And we... cut to the studio? (Panthers 42, Buccaneers 28)

This Week It Sucks To Be: 1.




2. Caleb Sturgis; 3. Brandon McManus. (Bears 41, Bills 9; Chargers 25, Seahawks 17; Texans 19, Broncos 17)

Saints get the ball first. Brees bumps into Kamara on that handoff. The Saints won the Jimmy Graham-Max Unger trade, by the way. Nice catch by Michael Thomas while being guarded. He's got 59 catches already. Brees AND Hill in on 4th and 1 from the Rams' 37. Hill runs for the first down, but he wanted to throw that to Brees. Thomas makes a catch over the middle. Kamara tiptoes to the corner for a touchdown, beating four Rams in the process. Goff hits the tight end Higbee for a big play. Kurt Coleman's on the Saints now? Gurley dives for the end zone and gets there. Replay shows off the good blocking by Kupp and Woods.




Kupp's dad was an original Saint. Cool. Brees finding ways to get passes to receivers. Watson was covered decently and still made that catch. Donald to Kamara: "Maybe next time." Next time was two plays late, when he sells the option route, goes to the sideline, and scores. As Buck wonders how Kamara lasted until the third round, college football junkies wonder how he was third-string at Tennessee. Ex-Saint Cooks just beats Lattimore for 42 yards. Before that, Woods made a catch that the fans reacted to as if it should have been incomplete, but the Rams snapped the ball on the next play too quickly. Pereira thinks it would have stood. Eli Apple still screwing up. Blatant pass interference gives the Saints first and goal, and Goff immediately capitalizes by finding Woods. 14-all. Ingram fumbles and he's hurt. Rams ball. They run a fake field goal! Hekker, the punter and holder, keeps it, and this is going to be CLOSE. I don't think he got it. Refs rule him short and the Rams challenge. Call stands. That's one of those where if they said he'd made it, it also would have stood. I would not have done that, for the record. Watson with a great catch over the defender. Ingram runs through the rams defense and gets to the 4 before being tripped. Touchdown Saints. Woods finds a hole in the Saints' zone, then Kupp turns outside just as Goff's pass arrives. Gurley gets bottled up, then Legatron misses wide right from 51. There's Thomas again. Kamara finds some holes to break through. Two minute warning and it's just past 5:35 here. Fast game so far. Rams bite on the fake and Brees tosses it to an open Watson in the end zone.




THAT'S what that was? Huh. Well, congratulations to them. That failed fake field goal doesn't look great at the moment. Goff throws an interception! Nice play by Anzelone. Thomas again. Brees RUN. Even the fullback's getting involved. Touchdown Kamara. This game has slowed down considerably. This Woods catch is close. Penalty on the donnybrook is against the Rams, creating a 3rd and 25. They get some of it back and give Zeuerlein a try from 56. GOOD. 35-17 Saints at the half. Goff throws a strike to Woods in traffic. Rams start the second half driving. Kupp can't hold on. They need to get Gurley more involved. OH MY GOODNESS. That's some ridiculous body control and footwork by Gurley's backup, Malcolm Brown, to get into the end zone. That's nuts.




Saints run a flea flicker, but the Rams had the deep route covered, so Brees has to throw short. New Ram Dante Fowler Jr. just hit Kamara with a Sling Blade. Gurley powers for 16. Wow. I didn't think Cooks caught that. Kupp tipped it (it was high), and Cooks dove and just caught it before it hit the ground. Goff takes off but doesn't make it. Field goal is good. 35-27 now. Goff hitting everything on this drive, not taking any chances. Kupp gets open space. Touchdown! That was... probably not quite how the Rams drew up that two-point try, but we're tied.




Saints back up. Thomas gets 18 yards on a third and 10. Lutz field goal puts the Saints back on top. Big stop by the Saints' defense. Touchdown Thomas! 72 yards! What? Oh, it's the Joe Horn cellphone-in-the-goalpost celebration. That'll be a flag.







Rams running out of time and not making any progress. Fourth down fails. This was... significant. (Saints 45, Rams 35)




Rodgers trying to go without the knee brace tonight. But not yet, as the Patriots will get the ball first. This pace is crazy fast. Ten plays and only 3:20 later, White turns the corner and gets the end zone. Patriots jump offside and the Packers cash in. In eight games, Packers have already used Jimmy Graham better than the Seahawks ever did. Pass to Graham in the end zone gets tipped away, but the Pats get called for illegal contact. Run the damn ball, McCarthy. Christ. Field goal is good.




Rodgers finds Graham again. Blitz forces an incompletion and it's punting time. Brady hits Gordon on the sideline, then Edelman gets open deep for 32. Packers hold and the field goal is good. The Packers' receivers have all been covered. Patriots offsides again? Oh, AND 12 men on the field. Run the ball, Packers. Your receivers have been tightly covered all night. RUN. THE. BALL. Rodgers rolls left and finds Adams for a touchdown. Wait. Is this Clinton-Dix's replacement that just got tossed? The officials didn't say he got tossed. You can't slap another player, but that's surprising. Patterson with two straight carries since Sony Michel's still hurt. Patterson rushes for the touchdown and he may have salvaged his career by being turned into a more successful Ty Montgomery (who the Packers dumped on the Ravens for a seventh-rounder after last week's debacle.) Rodgers fumbles? No, he's out of bounds. 17-10 Pats at halftime. Belichick challenging this Adams catch. He may win this one. Call reversed. Valdes-Scantling: "Reverse THIS." Did... did the Packers just run the ball inside the 10? Offensive holding. This is a curse. Rodgers has all kinds of time and he hits Graham in stride for the touchdown! Patrick Chung won't let go but it doesn't matter. Patriots on the move now. Patterson with a dive into the end zone. No, they take it off the board and then the third-down pass is incomplete. They're going for it. Empty backfield, then White shifts over. Pass is incomplete. Gordon slipped. Now Martinez is hurt. A Patriots punt on 4th and 21 turns into a first down after a roughing the kicker call. Terry McCauley disagrees — he says it only should have been Running Into and five yards.




Now Jaire Alexander's down. That's the end of this drive, so a little bit of justice there.




That's a very good catch. But then Jones fumbles! Oh no! You thought he was underused before; he'll be frozen out for two weeks if the Patriots score after this. Double pass ends with Edelman going to White.




Three plays later the Pats take the lead. Rodgers gets sacked, forcing a punt. Edelman takes a reverse 20-plus yards. Brady switches gears, goes deep to Gordon, and he makes a man miss and does the rest. This game's over.




Rodgers's protection has not been as good in this second half. Pretty generous spot gives the Packers a first down.  Al actually asks if this if four-down territory for the Packers, who are down 14 with four minutes left. Actual goats in Rodgers and Brady jerseys. (Patriots 31, Packers 17)

Pre-game tribute to Witten, who retired in May to take this job. Elliott gets two big runs early as Witten talks up new OL coach Marc Colombo, who I think is an ex-player. First pass to Cooper is overthrown. Can't anybody kick anymore? Is this a live ball? It is! Cowboys have it. Like, Mariota just stood there and let Lawrence knock the ball out of his hands. Cowboys recover after a mad scramble. Touchdown Amari Cooper as he beats Butler to the pylon. This is the first game Mariota's not wearing a glove since his hand injury in Week 1. Fumble? FUMBLE. Cowboys ball. Now Kevin Byard makes a leaping interception in the end zone. Not a great decision by Dak there, as Cooper was being double covered. Now Jaylon Smith has the ball? Was this a catch? My God. Review changes it to an incomplete pass, which is the better outcome for the Titans.




Finally, a completion. Mariota finds Corey Davis on 3rd and 9. That first quarter was horrible. Maybe the second will be better. Mariota takes off and gains 12 on 3rd and 1. Henry finishes it off with a nice second effort. Cowboys go three and out. Mariota threads the needle with a good throw to Jennings in a lot of traffic. Touchdown Dion Lewis. That's the second-best Titans drive this season. Dak completes a tough pass to Thompson. Defense loses Allen Hurns and he scores easily.





14-14 at halftime. Mariota hits Smith to get to midfield. Dak FUMBLES. Whistle blows, the Titans recover, and the refs give them the ball! Sean Lee's hurt again? SHOCKING. At least the Cowboys might not be a one-man defense anymore, though. Why am I saying that like it's a good thing? WHAT? Mariota faked a zone read handoff and threw a shovel pass to Smith for a touchdown! That was nuts.




Mariota slides as Vander Esch hits him, and gets flagged for 15 more yards on what Witten and Booger think is a dubious hit to the head call. If you hit a sliding quarterback in the head, it's a penalty. That's ALWAYS been the rule. Mariota misses a third-down pass into the end zone. Field goal CLANGS off the upright and back onto the turf. No good. Bad drive by the Cowboys accomplishes nothing. Dion Lewis makes the catch and goes for 37. Titans keeping it on the ground now, mostly. Third and 1 and Mariota takes it in himself! 4:38 left. Dak finds Cooper over the middle to get to midfield. Cowboys try a wide receiver pass with Beasley but the Titans are unimpressed.







1:52 left. Third down pass is incomplete... and so is the fourth down pass. Titans take over and they're now in second place in the AFC South. Giants-49ers next week? OOF. (Titans 28, Cowboys 14)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. L.A. Rams (8-1) — Nothing lasts forever
2. Kansas City (8-1) — Chugging along
3. New Orleans (7-1) — That was tasty
4. New England (6-2) — It's boring how you can always count on them to not blow it

BOTTOM 4:
29. Buffalo (2-7) — Borderline comical
30. San Francisco (2-7) — They've found a quarterback!!!!111!!one!!
31. N.Y. Giants (1-7) — Spent the week sitting in the corner
32. Oakland (1-7) — Surprisingly, nobody else got traded

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