Thursday, November 15, 2018

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 10: Flakes

 


Of note: The Panthers' new owner is a Pittsburgh native. Panthers get the ball first and are already on the move. The screen flashes with dull orange blocks and then there's no score bug. Now there's no clock. McCaffrey with two strong runs back to back. Fourth and 1 from the Steelers 22? Riverboat Ron is back! McCaffrey picks it up! Next play, Cam hits McCaffrey in the flat and he scores. That was way too easy. Juju! 75 YARDS! TOUCHDOWN. Are you kidding me? Just like that, we're tied. Was Bell one of the players in that graphic? LOL. OH MY GOD. Cam threw it away to avoid a safety and it turned into a pick-six! T.J. Watt blew that whole thing up.




Hey, a punt! Steelers run a double reverse for 13. Joe and Troy recount the Conner story and how well the Steelers knew him, since they share training facilities and a stadium with Pitt. Conner makes a move and reaches the 3, then scores on the next play. 21-7 Steelers. There's 4:35 left in the first quarter. The Steelers have scored only 26 first-quarter points ALL SEASON.




Roethlisberger with all kinds of time and he finds Brown downfield for 34. Field goal is good. WE HAVE A SPOT CHALLENGE. Panthers are saying Moore got the first down. Pereira seems to agree. Call reversed and first down Panthers. Somehow McCaffrey is left uncovered in the flat and he could have all but walked into the end zone.




Five minutes to halftime. Roethlisberger finds Ryan Switzer and gets to midfield. Then he hits Brown in stride, the defender falls down, and Brown cruises into the end zone. 31-14 Steelers.




It's a shame Brown's never going to win a Super Bowl. Watt comes unblocked to Cam again and knocks the ball out, but McCaffrey falls on it. And two of those games Cam's missed in the last 7 1/2 years were after a car accident. Cam and Olson get their wires crossed, but this interception by Tremaine Edmunds is ruled incomplete. Cam leaves the field with a trainer just before halftime. Steelers open with a methodical drive, much like the Panthers did to start the game. Great effort by McDonald to catch this in the back of the end zone. Touchdown! There was a question of control but the review confirmed it.




The wristband incident with Aikman is re-referenced. Stevan Ridley's a Steeler? Ben slides and gets hit by Eric Reid, drawing a flag and starting a ruckus. That wouldn't have gotten called on Cam, for the record. Did Reid just get ejected? Holy crap. Ben finds Road Dogg for the touchdown. 45-14 after 3. FUMBLE ON THE KICKOFF. It's all come apart.




Another Steelers touchdown. My God. Pocket collapses around Cam again. There's still 12 minutes left. Time for Bucks-Warriors, I think. Yeah, Josh Dobbs is in. (Steelers 52, Panthers 21)

Signal Finder: NE @ TEN, WSH @ TB, JAX @ IND (end), SEA @ LAR

Gonna be a rough day for Malcolm Butler. Lot of Pats fans here, Eagle says. No Gronk. That's a good kickoff return. Mariota hits Davis for 25. Too high for Davis in the end zone on first and goal. Mariota rolls out on third down and connects with Smith for a touchdown. Brady hits Gordon in traffic. Field goal is good. 7-3. Harmon drops a sure interception off a tipped ball, and then the Pats get hit for pass interference. Funny moment when the announces talk over the replay of this Cameron Batson catch, then Eagle notes that a flag's been thrown on the facemask that they overlooked while talking about the play. Davis with a sweet over-the-shoulder catch in the end zone! DPI means it'll stand. Deep pass to Smith gets fumbled... but out of bounds, so. Field goal is good. Edelman takes a pitch. 17-3 Titans (!) after one. Pats go for it on 4th and 2 from the Titans' 11 and Brady fakes a reverse and passes to White. James Develin (?) dives for the touchdown. GROOME GUITARS. Gostkowski misses left from 52.




Mariota runs out of time and gets sacked. But THIS time, he steps up and finds Davis downfield. Three straight completions now for Mariota and they're at the Patriots' 3. Touchdown? NOT a touchdown. Henry got upended at the 1. He walks in on the next play. Who can figure this Titans team? Brady sacked to end the half. 24-10 Titans. What. Brady pass bounces off Edelman's shoulder. Batson with a nice grab on the sideline. Mariota gets almost 20 on a play-action option. Field goal is good.




(Note that the Titans did this successfully earlier in the game.) Then they false start on 4th and 1, making it 4th and 6. Then the Titans break up the fourth-down pass. Still more than 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter. Another easy touchdown for Henry and that feels daggerish. Brady out, Hoyer in. It's over. (Titans 34, Patriots 10)


Fitzpatrick threw an interception? SHOCKING. DeSean picks up a first down on 3rd and 3, a situation Washington's defense has been bad in this season. Hey, Jordan Reed's still alive. A five-yard pattern on 3rd and 12? Really, Jay? Field goal is good. Bucs' drive slows down once they go away from Peyton Barber. Coincidence? Fitzpatrick doesn't even know how to run — if he'd dove forward he'd have gotten that first down. Catanzaro misses the field goal. Jacquizz Rogers just faked that dude out of his feet. Seriously, he's limping. Hope he's all right. 3-3. Hold takes away a 40-yard Biggs run. That's not a catch. Wait, Michael Floyd's here? Yep, not a catch. But this is, as Floyd extends to pick that one out of the air. Field goal is good. 6-3 D.C. at the half. Jay burns a timeout two minutes into the second half. Fine work. Peterson with some moves. Brenneman calls out Gruden for calling a 12-yard route on 3rd and 14. This game is hot garbage. Bucs miss another field goal. Smith finds Maurice Harris for 20 yards. Touchdown Doctson. Fitzpatrick throws a particularly BAD interception? SHOCKING. Telegraphed as hell. Field goal is good, and remember that stat about Washington front-running? It's happening again. Peterson somehow isn't washed yet after six weeks with this squad. Davis has gotta reach out for that. OK, on replay maybe it was a little too far. Fitzpatrick overthrows Desean so badly he has to play defense.




Evans drops a touchdown pass. FUMBLE.




Welcome, Saints-Bengals viewers. This game has been the POLAR OPPOSITE of yours. (Redskins 16, Buccaneers 3; Saints 51, Bengals 14)


Browns looking frisky. (Browns 28, Falcons 16)

I'm Sorry You Had To See That: Honestly, most of the early games. Saints-Bengals ended before 3:45, which is unfathomable.




This question had basically the same four answers: Adams, Darnold, Leonard Williams, and Enunwa. As bad a coach as Bowles has been this season, this is still a bottom-three roster. Matt Barkley, though! Weird how he got more chances than Matt Leinart despite being a lower draft pick. (Bills 41, Jets 10)

We join Jags-Colts on a fumble review with 1:29 left, and that is a fumble. Wait... is it, though? It's hard to say that the ball is out of the receiver's hand. The pay was ruled a completed pass and down by contact, apparently? That's weird. Ruling changed to a fumble and it's Colts ball. crosses off Jaguars (Colts 29, Jaguars 26)

The Seahawks struggled with the Rams in the best of times. This could get ugly in a hurry. OK, that should NOT have worked. Perfect throw by Wilson for the touchdown to Vannett. We learn that Goff and several other Rams players and staffers had to evacuate because of the fires, and that McVay gave the Rams Friday off. Maybe cover Gurley when he comes out of the backfield. Just a thought. Whoa! Touchdown Rams! Rashad Penny, a surprise first-round pick, hasn't played in a month and just broke off a big run. Touchdown Penny! I turn away for 20 seconds and the Rams are in the red zone. They didn't score a touchdown? Oops. Field goal is good, though. Game has slowed down some. Woods comes across the field to pull that one in. GURLEY! Touchdown! Woods and Whitworth with good downfield blocking on that. 17-14 Rams. Gurley runs away from a couple of Seahawks before being dragged down. Dion Jordan's in the league? Field goal is good. Peters got the interception but he held his man before that and got caught. That's blatant as hell. Penny runs for 24 yards, but an unsportsmanlike conduct call on the Seahawks takes away 15. Fowler gets an unsportsmanlike conduct flag. Tyler Lockett with a nice catch in the end zone and the Seahawks retake the lead. Woods finds himself wide open in what is probably a zone and converts his 43rd third down of the year (!) The Rams' other tight end, Higbee, has to turn around to make this catch over his shoulder, but still manages to score. Rams going for two up five. Gurley goes nowhere. Baldwin with a catch. Some confusion here as the Rams call time out before getting caught shorthanded. The refs then give the Rams their time out back because they didn't allow enough time to  match the Seahawks' substitution, so they still have two. Baldwin catches a short screen. Donald and Suh team up  to sack Wilson on 3rd and 5. Field goal is good. Wait, WHAT? The Seahawks just tried an onside kick and the Rams were... somehow ready for it? Rams ball!




Kupp being helped off as Goff finds Cooks at the 10. Rams kick the field goal here, making it 29-24. Sack. Fumble? FUMBLE. They rule Fowler down. All four of the Rams sacks have come on third down. Cooks takes the pitch and scores. Penalty on the kickoff moves the Seahawks back to their 10, which is suboptimal. Awful lot of Mike Davis on this drive.




Wilson goes to Baldwin for 12 on 3rd and 6. Hey, a Wilson scramble. Ed Dickson's a Seahawk? Huh. Touchdown Davis! Romo doing a lot of lifting in these last few moments, first weighing going for one or two here (it doesn't really matter), then debating whether to try another onside kick (with three time outs, even if it fails it's not the worst idea.) Onside kick is recovered by the Rams. Gurley gets blown up and loses seven yards. Seahawks hold and force a punt. Now, I'm not sure why Romo's going on about a field goal here, as it is absolutely not an option with 1:24 left. Wilson to Lockett for 29. Wilson scrambles for 11, then hurries to the line and spikes it. Last chance. Wilson looking for Lockett... too high. (Rams 36, Seahawks 31)


No Lane Johnson. G.W. and Laura Bush in the house. 43 ribs Al and Cris's golf games. Cowboys won the toss, but deferred. First throw to Golden Tate is caught, but he can't get to the marker. Punt pins the Cowboys at their own 9. Tate in to return the punt. Wentz gets intercepted by Vander Esch. Very odd. Good blocking on the return. Cooper with a catch for 12. Zach Martin down and that could be a PROBLEM. He's off the field and the Cowboys now have two new guards. Cooper converts another third down. Two misfires and the field goal unit is on. Maher barely makes it. Grugier-Hill almost picks Dak.




Cooper converts another third down on Darby, who hits him but doesn't bring him down. Smith gets almost 15 on 3rd and 15 as the quarter ends. Cowboys line up to go for it. Flag! False start. So much for that. Josh Adams gets free on the right side and goes for 29. Not sure why you'd go five wide on 3rd and 1. Unless, of course, you're going for it on fourth. Adams gets swallowed up. Martin back for the Cowboys. Cowboys fake a punt and snap it to the up man, who gets the first down! Dak overthrows Cooper, who would have scored. Elliott hurdles Tre Sullivan, then stumbles or HE would have scored. And Sullivan was upright! That's sick! Eagles challenging this Prescott run for reasons I don't understand. They win the challenge and... move the ball a yard and a half back. Dak gets sacked on third down. Collinsworth has no idea what the Cowboys' actual plan was there. Field goal is good.




Wentz hits three straight completions to get to the two-minute warning. That's a big play to break up that pass, because Jeffery was wide open. Eagles pass up a 56-yard attempt to go for it on 4th and 10, at least for the moment. They change their minds and Elliott makes it. Dak gets sacked again. Screen to Gallup gets 25 on 3rd and 15. Beasley makes a jumping catch. Dak hits Hurns at the 1. Quick QB sneak and it's touchdown Cowboys. 13-3 at the half.




Drive begins with a sack by Bennett. Clement finds the corner and gets a first down. Wentz, under duress, finds Ertz, who then reaches out and pulls in the next pass. La'el Collins down and hurt. Wait, what? Wentz passed to Ertz, who lateraled BACK to Tate. Wentz looks for Jeffery in traffic but it's broken up. Field goal is good. Elliott runs for 14, then again for 38. NBC's really still doing that "active zone" or whatever they're not actually calling it. Dak drops back, gets chased, drops the ball, picks it back up, and throws it away. Darby's down and the Eagles are already missing Mills and Jones. Field goal is... no good. Possibly too-quick run-through on run-pass option concepts. Interesting that Collinsworth opines that Dak probably feels more comfortable with RPOs when the Cowboys don't run a whole lot of them. Matthews picks up 3rd and 12. Sneak works. Ertz somehow gets wide open and Wentz finds him for the touchdown. Darby won't return. Another strong run by Elliott. Elliott catches a touchdown pass as Hicks and Corey Graham bump into each other.




Wentz goes deep for Agholor and he brings it in! 51 yards, and they haven't done that nearly as much of this with Agholor this season, as Collinsworth points out. Adams runs to the 1. Agholor gets caught trying a reverse. Touchdown Ertz! I wasn't sure he'd caught that at first. Team selfie! Oh, they were saluting the troops in attendance in those end zone seats. Tied at 20. Cooper gets wide open against a truly depleted secondary. Elliott gets stopped on second down, but punches it in on third down. This game is off the rails. Eagles back on the move. Collinsworth wonders how they're going to play this clock and not leave enough time for the Cowboys to do anything. I'm wondering if they might go for two if they get a touchdown here. Vander Esch trips up Clement on 3rd and 2, preventing what would have been a big gain. Ertz catches it, but he's nowhere near the first down. Turnover on downs and this hurts. I have no idea why they're reviewing this. I guess to spot the ball? Cowboys moving backwards. Eagles get a last shot with 52 seconds left. Hook and ladder with Ertz and Tate fails and the Redskins, of all teams, may have just won the division tonight. (Cowboys 27, Eagles 20)

Gould clean as a whistle from 53. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. That's really the first mistake Mullens has made. The Giants actually still have more playmakers. Touchdown Beckham. Kittle's having a good year.




Touchdown Breida. 10-7 49ers. Five minutes to halftime and the announcers are talking about Le'veon Bell. Eli hits Corey Coleman (?) for a first down. Tess: "Coleman's last catch was three teams ago." On the next third down, Eli lofts one over a stopped Beckham, who was stopped because Sherman interfered with him. That went nowhere. Field goal is good and we're tied at 10.




Northern California is also on fire,and Lisa Salters gives us an air quality report. Bad read by Collins allows Kittle to make that catch and go for a big gain. Niners are quickly in field goal range. Mullens almost throws an interception — he threw the ball behind his receiver. Gould on, and the Giants try to ice him. It, of course, does not work. 13-10 49ers at halftime. Niners take the second half kickoff and are on the move. More hype for Chiefs-Rams next week. That 1990 game featured these very teams, who had just lost the week before. Witten calls the tight end screen. Touchdown Mullens to Brieda! A military band is playing "California Love." I've now seen everything. Coleman brings the kickoff out of the end zone... to midfield! That's a dude who knows he's about out of chances. 49ers fail to cover Beckham and he gets 21 yards. What's helped Eli is that the line hasn't been God-awful tonight. Beckham beats his man to the corner and catches a touchdown. Cornerback's wondering where the help is. 20-17. Mullens finds Kittle on third down, but this time he interfered, turning 3rd and 12 into 3rd and 22. Sterling Shepard on the reverse for 27! Field goal is good. Witten sides with the "Giants should have taken a quarterback this year" crowd, and Booger falls firmly on the other side. The problem the Giants have is that they're wasting both Barkley's and Beckham's prime years with a rapidly-declining Eli and a bad O-line. Tessitore came from college football, so he knows that the upcoming class of quarterbacks isn't as good as the one we just had. 20-20 after three and this game's been better than most of Sunday's 1 o'clock games. B.J. Goodwin picks off Mullens for the second time tonight after Marquise Goodwin (who's just back in the game after taking a hit to the head) can't hold on to it. Now Goodwin's down again. Eli had Beckham open deep but didn't throw it far enough. Then Eli gets sacked. The "Is Eli a Hall of Famer" discussion is now happening, and Witten thinks like I do: His two Super Bowls — and that he beat Brady to get them — will get him in eventually. Brieda's catch starts this 49ers drive. Gould field goal ends it. Big play to Evan Engram, who the safety thought was going to block and got out of the way, letting him loose. Giants bleeding clock for some reason. Barkley comes across the field and the Giants are now in the red zone. Shephard goes up and gets it for the touchdown! Extra point is good and it's a four-point lead. 53 seconds left. Mullens hits Goodwin over the middle! But he can't make the sideline and four seconds are lost. Witten says Goodwin should have gone down immediately, but the 49ers manage to spike it with one second left.




That's too high. Flag? Flag! But it's OFFENSIVE holding. (Giants 27, 49ers 23)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. L.A. Rams (9-1) — All about holding on
2. Kansas City (9-1) — Mahomes set a team touchdown passing record in 10 GAMES
3. New Orleans (8-1) — Points for brevity
4. L.A. Chargers (7-2) — All this without Joey Bosa, keep in mind

BOTTOM 4:
29. N.Y. Jets (3-7) — Fire the GM, maybe?
30. N.Y. Giants (2-7) — Eli's last gasp?
31. San Francisco (2-8) — Mama told you there'd be days like this
32. Oakland (1-8) — Making sure they won't be missed

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