Thursday, January 11, 2018

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 11: Requiem For a Panther

A quasi-national prime-time audience against a team with a massive fan base — a lot of eyes are going to be on the Titans tonight for the first time in a long time. This is their chance to make a statement — and they are not making it. Oh. Ohhhh. Oh dear. (Steelers 40, Titans 17)

Signal Finder: WAS @ NO, KC @ NYG, NE vs OAK (@ MEX)

The pen is back out for the R's. Good play on the interception by Swearinger. Rose cashes in the turnover with a field goal. Reverse to Ginn gets absolutely blown up. Willie Snead's a IV. Hmm.
Perine with a big run off of a free play. Touchdown Thompson and Washington breaks the 3-3 tie. Look at SPEED 2 making a catch in traffic. Touchdown Ingram. I don't remember the Saints running the ball this well when they were Super Bowl contenders. Fourth and 6 from the Saints' 39 and Cousins hits Vernon Davis to get into the red zone. That was a really good throw. Touchdown! Cousins slides and gets absolutely creamed, drawing appropriate flags. That's a bad interception by Cousins, as Crowder wasn't open. He may have dropped it, but that's a bad throw regardless. Then a false start penalty on the field goal attempt makes it a 57-yard attempt instead of 52. Gruden is PISSED. Now they're punting. And then this dude stands on the end line to cover the punt, resulting in a touchback. Back-to-back big plays to Ginn and Michael Thomas, with a great block by Alvin Kamara on the first one. Ginn is tackled short of the first down and the Saints have to spike the ball. Field goal is good and it's 17-13 Redskins. This is an ugly collision. The cart's out for Chris Thompson, and that might be it for the Redskins' season even if they hang on today. HOLY HELL. Cousins got sandwiched and still fired off a touchdown pass to a completely open Ryan Grant, who literally walked into the end zone. Saints pass up a 4th and 3 from their own 35 down 11.
Touchdown Jeremy Sprinkle and that feels like it's it. Not sure I get the Saints running here, either, especially with so little time left. Touchdown Hill. Extra point MISSED. Perine's been good today. But not there. STUFFED. Saints will get the ball back. Interception! But that was a face mask right before it, so it won't count. Thomas and Ginn both wide open and both make big catches. Kamara! Juggles it and hauls it in for a touchdown! Saints going for two. Kamara again! We're tied! Now the R's are driving. Soft coverage leaves Crowder wide open and he works his way into field goal range. What the actual fuck, Cousins? Not the best time for intentional grounding. Then cousins gets creamed and we're going to overtime. Saints are suddenly teeing off on Cousins. Ingram running wild. Saints decide against it and bring out the field goal unit. It's GOOD! crosses off Redskins (Saints 34, Redskins 31, OT)

I'm Sorry You Had To See That: No Eli Apple today for the Giants, so they're out of cornerbacks as well as wide receivers. The Giants shouldn't punt for the rest of the year. FAKE!!! FIRST DOWN.
Oh, Giants. Some things never change.


Run, Eli. RUN. He gets the spot on that slide. Did he catch that? No, but that's pass interference. Touchdown Darkwa. And OF COURSE they miss the extra point, because they're the 2017 Giants. East Rutherford wind update, courtesy of Evan Washburn. Travis Kelce bails the Chiefs out of a bad Eric Fisher holding call. Field goal is good but that could have been a touchdown. Lincoln Tunnel B-roll? That's new. The Giants got the ball back inside of two minutes and punted less than a minute later. The Chiefs can't do anything with it, and it's 6-3 Giants at the half. Chiefs keep blowing chances. Field goal is good and it's 6-6, but this is not an "Andy Reid after a bye" team. That's a catch. Wayne Gallman getting lots of run in this game. A penalty puts the Giants in 3rd and 33, and the Giants aren't as successful when they have to convert it. Travis Kelce throwing a deep pass? Andy's getting desperate. Interception, and how is that unnecessary roughness?


Now Alex Smith throws an interception on a ball that ended up in no man's land. The Giants are in field goal range. Eli somehow didn't get sacked. Field goal is good. Bad spot by the refs? They can't count? Kelce! Then the refs pick up an OPI flag. Smith scrambles and then goes airborne (!) to get six yards on 3rd and 5. Bad decision by Smith to run on second down — now they have to kick. It's good and this farce will continue. Smith out here throwing check downs to backup running backs on 3rd and 10. This game's gonna end in a tie, isn't it? Giants get the ball back and are taking their time. Then Engram drops a third-down pass. They go for it on 4th and 6. Did he even catch that? WOW HE CAUGHT IT. Eli takes a knee and they send the kicker out. It's GOOD. Giants win a game they really couldn't afford to. (Giants 12, Chiefs 9, OT)

Nathan Peterman: A Life In Eight Tweets:





















By the way, Bills: Week 11 really isn't the time to decide you're gonna tank. (Chargers 54, Bills 24)

MEXICO CITYYYYY! The Patriots really do run a 4-2-5. Nantz and Romo reminding us that we are at altitude. Patriots recover their own fumble. Dion Lewis put a MOVE on some poor Raider and scores. Brady 9-for-9 on that drive. Raiders have dropped way too many passes this year, and that one managed to lead to an interception. Later, Crabtree does a good job of concentrating and bringing that one in for some yards. Cooper runs a route that isn't long enough, then he pushes off and gets flagged for it. Romo's not so sure about it after seeing it again. Cooks! He gets one of those a game, it seems. Touchdown Amendola. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Roberts let that get punched out of his hands and the Pats have it.


Lewis carried two Raiders about 10 yards and he's not a large man, relatively speaking. Gronk! Gostkowski, who's slipped a bit, will try from 62. We're 7200 feet up, remember. It's GOOD! 17-0 Patriots at the half. Apparently it's a long walk up to the locker rooms, according to Tracy Wolfson. COOKS. 64 yards off the top. Touchdown. Raiders can't get anything going. Now Lewis is out here with one shoe off. OK, 16 on the Raiders just took a swing at a Patriots defender after an incomplete pass. Del Rio challenging this Patterson play. It looks like a catch. Might as well go for it. Touchdown Raiders and at least they won't get shut out. (Patriots 33, Raiders 8)

Someone tackle that dude. First we've heard from Torrey Smith in a few weeks. Did... did these refs just flip a penalty? Barner with a fancy catch on the sideline. That's great foot control. Touchdown Barner (!) on the next play. Call stands. Second weird kickoff by Elliott tonight. Big run by Alfred Morris as Al reminds us that he was the man in Washington once upon a time. Prescott fools everyone on a keeper. Ronald Darby back, with two big plays against Bryant — a shoestring tackle and a pass breakup in the end zone on third down that forces a second Nugent field goal. Good Lord, that Theismann/LT spot for Redskins-Giants. McLeod gets an interception off a tipped pass. Barnett got to Dak unimpeded and Williams couldn't hold on. Cowboys hold and Elliott misses! Both offenses have stopped working. Barnett's been getting all kind of pressure tonight. Like there, on that Darby interception. Lot of drops by both teams tonight.


This seems like the best game Bryant's had in a while. Eagles hold and the Cowboys kick a field goal to go up 9-7. Jake Elliott's being evaluated for a head injury, we are told. Michele Tafoya saying that Elliott's out and that the Eagles won't bother kicking extra points the rest of the night. Wentz throws up a floater to Celek, who is uncovered. Then he finds Jeffrey on third down and the Eagles are in "field goal" range. Clement scores when they pull Brandon Brooks, who helps open a big hole. Going for two and they stack the right side of the formation, flip a screen to Clement, and he converts. Kamu Grugier-Hill is going to kick off, and that was actually pretty good. Decent return because Grugier-Hill would be on that coverage unit. You can't throw a pass that high for 5-10 Cole Beasley. Ajayi. AJAYI! I'm also really impressed with Byron Jones's speed there to run him down. Touchdown Smith, who may have broken the plane the first time before getting turned around. Defensive holding is declined. Then Wentz runs away from two Cowboys and finds Jeffrey for the two-point conversion. Talk on Jerry Jones's sudden vendetta against Roger Goodell. I don't know who you root for there and I'll leave it at that.




The Cowboys have had a few of those big runs tonight, but they haven't amounted to much. They can't get any of their receivers downfield. Ertz, finally. More elusiveness from Wentz and a good catch by Jeffrey to convert that third down. Blount with a big run. That's terrible tackling on that Agholor touchdown. Oh, that isn't a touchdown — his knee's down. (It's still terrible tackling.) So they're going for it on 4th and 5. Jeffrey with a diving catch! Is he in? It's a first down at least. They gave him the touchdown? OK. Conversion is no good (Ertz got stripped of the ball) and it's still 29-9. Barnett with pressure AGAIN, and this time Dak fumbles, and Bradham scoops it up and scores.


Eagles 3 for 4 on two-pointers tonight. There's still eight minutes left.


Who the hell is Cooper Rush? Sounds like one half of an NXT jobber tag team.


(Eagles 37, Cowboys 9)

Monday Night in Seattle? EXPECT SHENANIGANS. Not sure I've seen a kicker get piefaced on a kickoff before. It's definitely been a minute. Kickoff coverage has been... suboptimal so far. Heck of a tackle by Russ after that interception. Falcons making all the tough catches on this drive. It took four years but the Seahawks have finally figured out how to use Jimmy Graham in their offense. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Yeah, that's a fumble. SPECIAL TEAMS SHENANIGANS. FAKE FIELD GOAL. DENIED! OK, that Bladwin touchdown was too easy. He caught it and rolled right up into a kneel. NO. NOOOOO. BLAIR WALSH NOOOOO.


(I mean, I don't know about this, but I certainly wouldn't have kept throwing in the middle of the field with no time outs.) That has to be it for him, right? (Falcons 34, Seahawks 31)

RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. Philadelphia (9-1) — Hook that to my veins
2. New England (8-2) — Well, that was easy enough
3. Pittsburgh (8-2) — Shutting the whole thing down
4. New Orleans (8-2) — A near-miss

BOTTOM 4:
29. Chicago (3-7) — Usually it's the Lions who lose games that way
30. San Francisco (1-9) — That two-week Bay Area celebration is going to be INTENSE
31. N.Y. Giants (2-8) — This victory was a tactical error
32. Cleveland (0-10) — Once you get to 10, you have to start talking about the possibility
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