Saturday, November 22, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 11: Alarm Sounds

Man, when's the last time a Bills-Dolphins game mattered? This Landry kid can run back a kick or two. There's a haze on the field. Is that fog, fireworks smoke, or what? The Dolphins are abusing the sidelines. Not a fan of the solid color look. 3rd and 24? They GOT it? That field goal is a win for both sides. Hey, a Bryce Brown sighting. Hmmm. And a field goal for the other side. Big run by Miller with a separate shoulder. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Things were going so well. One of the reasons the Bills traded for Bryce Brown is that his contract runs past this season, while Jackson's and Spiller's didn't. He's not at 300 yards yet? Kyle Orton scrambling is... not the best idea.


So that's where the on-set guys hang out during the game. Oh, right, Mario Williams. You forget who's even on the Bills. WTF with those contacts, Mario. MORE FIELD GOALS. Did two Bills run into each other? That's a close call on that grounding in the end zone. But why does it matter if the ball got back to the line of scrimmage? Oh, right, because he was still in the pocket.  The Bills recovered the free kick?! They did! Delmas dropped an interception because he ran into the ball. You know what's coming, right? Oh, a MISSED field goal. Even better! This game sucks.


Oh, word? I think Landry's short of the end zone here. Touchdown stands and that might be it given the Bills' sorry red zone offense. And it is sorry. Of course, I'm assuming they even reach the end zone again, which is a dicey proposition at best. (Dolphins 22, Bills 9)

Signal Finder: CIN @ NO, SF @ NYG, PHI @ GB

The ref's mics aren't working in New Orleans. They still aren't. At least the announcers realize it. Did Gresham fumble that and get it back? Yeah, he was trying to extend the ball over the plane (even though he wasn't nearly close enough) when he lost it, then it got kicked and he fell on it. Hmmm. A linebacker on A.J. Green? You do you, Saints. Dalton's already completed more passes than he did the whole game against the Browns. Did A.J. pick that off the ground? NO, it hit the ground first. Encroachment on a defensive back? That's almost impossible to do. And yet... Not only should Hill have gone out of bounds, if he cuts outside he probably scores. I mean, there's no reason for Vaccaro to lower his head there. That's just stupid.


Gresham will never catch an easier touchdown.Brian Leonard's still in the league? Oh, the Saints just signed him. OK. Feels like the Saints have had the ball for an hour. And that touchdown will end this drive. So how do the Bengals come back? All A.J. Green, All The Time. Now this is interesting. Did his left foot touch out of bounds in the end zone? Oh, they're saying it was down first when he caught it, so they're counting both feet. That might do it. This fourth quarter has been a dud.


(Bengals 27, Saints 10)

J.J. Watt is an offensive juggernaut. JUGGERNAUT, I SAY.


See? (Texans 23, Browns 7)

I'm Sorry You Had To See That: Terrible tackling by the Giants so far — the Kaepernick 3rd down run, the guy trying to strip Carlos Hyde of the ball and failing, the two guys who had Boldin stoned before he got away. Fumble, FINALLY. The 49ers had been playing with ball security fire that whole drive. Giants are open all over the field. OH MY GOD A TOUCHDOWN. That's their first opening-drive touchdown in 20 games. I'm not sure that's pass interference but turn around and it doesn't get called.


Did the 49ers just give Vernon Davis the ball on a straight handoff? They don't need to try so hard. That didn't go well. Eli telegraphed that but that was a good play by Borland to intercept it. Kaepernick's having accuracy issues on third down. Another field goal. Nice catch by Donnell through contact. Oh, Eli. What was THAT? And John Lynch's explanation made absolutely no sense — the ball slipped out of his hand? Really? Why did the Giants down that punt? If they let it roll the clock runs out. Crabtree just embarrassed several Giants defenders. With Preston Parker going off with an injured something, the Giants are running out of receivers. Onside kick! Harbaugh might win this challenge because Shaun White-looking dude's knee was down. Of course, I've been wrong before. And that was worst Eli — he completely airmailed that one. I'm sure there were some illegal blocks on this return but that's not the big story here. Thing is, he hadn't been doing that a lot this year. Bad snap on the field goal attempt? That's a sign, 49ers. Challenging spots is always dicey but I'm not sure how Beckham didn't get that spot. Denied! How did Eli not run into his own man there? Big play by him and Beckham to get out of that hole. Eli got crunched on that fourth pick.


Hey, Randle's back. HOLY CHRIST BECKHAM. I was going to tell Harbaugh to throw the flag immediately but there's no way he wins this one. Now the Giants are busy dropping corner fades in the end zone. Is Kevin Gilbride still calling these plays? RUN THE BALL! Unbelievable. 1st and goal from the 4 and four straight passes? With the last one being intercepted in the middle of the field? That should get someone fired.




The 49ers failed miserably at running the clock out and now the Giants still have a chance.


But, apparently, not much of one. (49ers 16, Giants 10)

Listen, I don't know what happened that the Broncos are now allegedly having offensive line problems, but Richie Incognito's the answer to a question you really don't want to ask. (Rams 22, Broncos 7)


Damn it, Troy, you really should shave. Looks like a slick track at the Tundra. Rodgers has not been intercepted at home this year. That's not easy to do. Fletcher's burn percentage just went up. I don't understand the Packers' uniforms. Run the ball, Packers. That's... not a catch — Nelson only got one foot down. That's a win for the Eagles' defense right there. Maclin couldn't keep his feet either after that catch. Tobin got blown up on that sack. How did Cobb get loose in the second- oh, right. Are those new flurries or snow being blown in from outside? Rodgers with a week to throw. 3rd and 23? Who jumped? DON'T INTERFERE! DON'T INTERFERE! So they're not going to be able to stop 3rd and 18, either.


Good thing I had this marked as a loss when the schedule came out. Well then. Wait, Sanchez has been hit in the head twice already? That is gimmick infringement and I will not stand for it. Hey, an Eagles drive. Sanchez ran right into that sack.


There are open Packers everywhere. That touchdown to Nelson was perfection all around. It's weird that the Eagles are running the ball so much down 21. The Packers even recover their own fumbles. That's all Fletcher can do at this point. The Eagles were never winning this game but I didn't think it'd be THIS bad.


Sanchez adjusted to the bigger throw and it worked? That's the first time ever. (I'm not kidding.) And then he gets sacked again and some of these hits are taking are clear fouls. A bad handoff leads to a fumble. Hey, the Packers are punting! So Sanchez throws a pass that Huff drops, then a terrible interception to Peppers and then gets flagged for an illegal block. This one's over. Poor Jordan Matthews, holding on to Peppers for dear life. Aikman's right — the Packers have had the same struggles against good teams that the Eagles have allegedly had. The place kicking in this game has been... interesting.


Why is Rodgers still in this game? Why is Sanchez still in this game? He doesn't need reps that badly. The real takeaway here: The Packers, barring a Biblical collapse, just won the NFC North. The Lions never win in Lambeau anyway, and the way the Packers are playing at home right now, do you really think they have an answer for this? (Packers 53, Eagles 20)

Brady looks straight-up evil in his photo in the intro. Roof is CLOSED. Because it's likely balls cold outside. The Patriots are making this look easy. That's... suboptimal coverage on Wayne. Twice, even.
What the heck, Brady? I thought you'd stopped doing that. Coby Fleener's getting a lot of run so far. Deflecterception off... someone's fingertips. It was Wayne, and Revis was on him. Brady with a slant to nobody but apparently the Colts bumped someone off his route, hence the flag. Jonas Gray? Who? Apparently he played at Notre Dame but nobody knows who he is. The Patriots have been overloading the offensive line on runs all night so far. Here's the thing on the second Brady interception: Brady saw it was man coverage, which means he probably should have known the rush was coming, and Adams got him again anyway. Nicks caught a touchdown pass! I'm stunned. Cris with some good tactical advice for Michele Tafoya. I feel like nobody scouted this Jonas Gray dude. Was he even on the team three weeks ago? Wayne keeps getting open somehow. They're gonna kick this? I know it's Vinatieri but still. No doubt about that one. Why did Belichick look surprised? You running a play here or what, Tom? Make up your mind. The Colts cannot stop this guy. It's amazing. That's an odd explanation of why that's a touchback and not a safety. This has to be frustrating for the Colts — they've put together good drives but haven't finished most of the night. Bradshaw didn't get in. He still didn't.


Tackle eligible! Touchdown! And that DANCE. Seriously, did Vereen get hurt or something? I haven't seen him since the opening drive and Gray has 30 carries. After Gray scored again they cut to Luck on the sideline with a look on his face like "Who IS that guy?" The Colts are going on 4th and 10? Oh, I didn't realize how late the game was. Gronk just put on a SHOW. Wow.


This conversation Al and Cris are having about Reggie Wayne raises a legitimate Hall of Fame question, but is he the best No. 2 receiver ever? It's either him or John Stallworth, right? Hey, Brady and Belichick broke their Indy losing streak. Good for them. (Patriots 42, Colts 20)

Who thought putting the Titans on Monday Night Football in November was a good idea? This is a game you put on Week 3 while there's still a chance they might not be terrible.


Wait, Brian Hoyer started a game for the Cardinals? That... is an inauspicious beginning. Nowhere to go but up, Zach. Good job helping him out, Kendall Wright. Hey, Bishop Sankey's finally starting. He's only their best back by a  mile. Ben is throwing passes all over the place. These fans don't seem to like Heath Miller. That wasn't a great throw to Bryant in the end zone. That one to Brown was much better. I thought Sankey fumbled for a second. And where was the left tackle going?
Like, I'd forgotten Michael Griffin was still on the Titans. that's how anonymous and irrelevant this franchise is. I'm amazed that wasn't intercepted (and in the hands of many other quarterbacks, it would have floated over Brown and, in fact, have been intercepted.) That was Eli-esque, Ben. They picked up the blitz and he just threw it to McCourty. But let's give the Titans credit for at least playing defense tonight — they've mostly gotten stops at the right time. Jesus. Nate Washington just torched the Steelers' defense and the Titans have the lead. When he was a Steeler, he was guaranteed one of those a game. Ben's getting beat up in this half. Mettenberger has a better arm than I remember. Hey, the dude who punched out a Ravens coach two weeks ago scored! Yeah, might be time to run with Bell for a while, Steelers. They really don't like Heath Miller in Titansland. What's that about? Well, this'll get several looks. Oh, I think he's short. Well clearly I'm bad at this. Ray's right — those old Ravens-Titans games when the Titans were good were throwdowns. Antonio Brown just beat a double team to give the Steelers the lead back. Man, Bell is just going off now.


Seriously, why would the booth be open-air? Doesn't make sense. The Steelers STILL have the ball? So much for a last-second rally, huh? (Steelers 27, Titans 24)

RANKINGS

TOP 4:
1. New England (8-2) — "Will the open week cool them off?" Apparently not
2. Arizona (9-1) — But now they're back to Stanton for good
3. Green Bay (7-3) — Establishing their presence with authority
4. (tie) Denver (7-3) — Wait, what?
(tie) Kansas City (7-3) — Hey, look who's red hot right now

BOTTOM 4:
28. (tie) Tampa Bay (2-8) — Saddest of the NFC South's sad sacks
(tie) N.Y. Jets (2-8) — Whatever needs to be done, they won't do it right
(tie) Washington (3-7) — Can't do anything right
31. Jacksonville (1-9) — Stay in Blackpool and think about what you've done
32. Oakland (0-10) — I mean, this could happen, guys



Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)