Sunday, January 19, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 17: Who We Thought They Were

Signal Finder: CLE @ PIT, CAR @ ATL, NYJ @ MIA (end), BAL @ CIN (end), GB @ CHI, KC @ SD


I'm slightly surprised to see the Steelers throwing so much so early, their success with it notwithstanding. That's not a good turnover by Campbell... gotta have better awareness than that. And that's an equally bad turnover by Ben. Not that any turnovers are good, but those were egregious. Now Roethlisberger's throwing screens into double coverage. (To say nothing of the Browns double covering the receiver on a screen.) This turned into a good drive — Pittsburgh's using lots of underneath stuff. There's another touchdown and that might do it the way the Browns are going. And the Browns' season ends the way it always does — with a horrible interception. Hang tight, Steel City! (Steelers 20, Browns 7)

Falcon touchdowns won't get bigger cheers than Gonzalez catches today. See? Or rather, hear? Three sacks already for the Panthers and they've gotten them all with base pressure. Good Lord, everything is going wrong for the Panthers offensively right now. First the pick, then Williams' big run gets knocked out by a fumble. WHAT. Someone screwed up on that pass and Carolina gets a pick-six out of it. Now Cam's all, "Screw it, I'll do this myself." Most obvious pass interference ever. Dude never let go. Tolbert! Nice coverage. Blink of an eye and Carolina's ahead. When Ryan's had time to remain upright, the Falcons have moved the ball through the air today. That touchdown to White was telegraphed. Late hit? OK. Nice catch by Olson to put the Panthers back up. Matt Ryan's getting demolished out here. That drive took too long to only get three points out of it. A screen to Tolbert on 3rd and 10? Really, Ron? NINE sacks. If you were wondering what happened to the Falcons in 2013, that's one of the things. How didn't the Panthers run out the clock? HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? That bad snap just cost the Falcons the game — they lost 16 yards, they didn't get back up to the line right away, and then they lost five more yards and a 10-second runoff on the false start. Unbelievable. Sorry about that, Tony. (Panthers 21, Falcons 20)

Why are the Giants kicking 50-yard field goals? Why kick field goals at all? I'd go on 4th and 20. What have you got to lose besides another game?

Hopefully this brings the "Kirk Cousins is better than RGIII" talk to a violent end:

Also, I love how Fox stayed in-studio between games and never even thought about going to this farce even though it took the longest to end. Godspeed, London Fletcher. (Giants 20, Redskins 6)



crosses off a LOT of people in Miami, probably

Jay Cutler's only beaten the Packers once in his career. Is this a good challenge? I'm not sure. It feels extremely early. Yeah, that's a hold. As easy as the one in the Panthers game. That interception was the first good play Conte's made in about two months.

Both these defenses are going to struggle stopping the opposing offense, even on a full field after a turnover like the Bears just got. Marshall's really good at that. That was a fun video package. Oh, Randall Cobb's back, too? Another interception — that went off Nelson's hands. Good hold by the Packers defense. You've gotta catch that punt. That's not a late hit. I mean, it was late, but it wasn't a hit. Another Hester turnover on a return? What's up with that? Starks has run the ball better than Lacy today. WHAT. They all just stood there for about 20 seconds before Boykin finally jogged into the end zone. That's a fumble.






And I don't understand why that restriction even exists. Makes no logical sense. Now Jeffrey fumbles? Oh Lord. Meanwhile, the Packers have done an abysmal job with their timeouts this half. The Bears are lucky to only be down six at halftime. There's the Devin Hester we know and fear. Forte! That's a heavy dose. There's that Bears run defense. And there's that Bears pass defense. I think the shootout we anticipated is coming. Well somebody screwed that up. Jeffrey just ran away from Shields and it looks like the safety was on the other side of the field. That wasn't a touchdown? Well, that was. This Quarless play should be a catch — the ball never hit the ground. What? Eh, if y'all say so. Someone cover Forte out of the backfield please. How did that work? That pass started off heading nowhere near Marshall and he ended up catching it for a score. Nelson just made four Bears miss at the same time. How does Conte not intercept that? He's so bad. Lacy!

This Packers drive is reminding me of the Falcons' late drive earlier — a lot of time to not make a lot of progress. Fourth and 8 and the Packers have to go. TOUCHDOWN! The safeties on both of these teams would fit in nicely in the NFC East. Because they suck. Here's the thing about that extra point now, though: The Packers are only up five. Do the Bears have this in them? No. Also, fair or not, Cutler's Bears career may well be over. (Packers 33, Bears 28)


CHASE DANIEL LIVES!!!! Notice the Chargers immediately going after the ball on Knile Davis' first carry — they know he's a fumbler. A.J. Jenkins? Well that was quick. I think the Chargers responded in exactly the same manner. What happened? Oh, Allen slipped. Touchdown Chiefs? Touchdown Chiefs. I know I've said this already but Ryan Mathews has been very good this past month. Right now it looks like the Chiefs' offensive backups are better than the Chiefs' defensive backups. Looks like Daniel learned the art of the quick release from Brees — he was being bull rushed before getting off that swing pass to McCluster. We've had several Manti Te'o sightings on this drive. None of his girlfriend, though. Are the Chargers also resting their defensive starters and nobody told us? The Chiefs just went ahead again.

What is surprising to me is that there hasn't been a Raideresque flood of penalties. Keenan Allen might end up Offensive Rookie of the Year. That field goal just tied this game. Is this where the Chargers turn it on? Wait, why is Daniel on the sideline? Heck of a time to go full Wildcat, Andy. Well, now it's over. HE MISSED?!?!? Oh God. We're going to overtime.

Mike McCoy is your new God. This drive is taking forever and that's a key point. It's almost like the Chargers are playing for a field goal here, which isn't all that smart. They made it, at any rate. That pass to McCluster just put things on the borderline of interesting. This would be a great time to put Alex Smith in, am I right? Alas. crosses off Steelers


SING THE SONG. (Chargers 27, Chiefs 24, OT)


I'm scared as hell. They're nervous. Three guys jumped offsides. This isn't good so far. Fumble! RIGHT INTO Fletcher's hands. Polk catching the ball too? Don't understand calling a run on 2nd and 20 but whatever. They probably could have gone for it there. Murray just leveled Damion Square — the backup nose tackle.


That hasn't been called once all season. Why start now? The Eagles have gotten themselves into and out of some bad long situations so far. Avant! How does he concentrate on a ball that was being thrown away? Also, they are abusing this Heath kid. Touchdown. Wait, why is Romo's wife at the game and he's not? That seem odd to anyone else? That wasn't even bad coverage by Boykin but a good catch by Williams. I mean... there wasn't anyone even close to the tight end. You'd think it was Witten they'd failed to cover. It's kind of amazing the Eagles are leading this game given some of the dumb mistakes they've made. That fair catch interference on Boykin was ticky-tack as all get out. KENDRICKS! Dude's been on fire this month. And Jason Witten's too good a player to do that. Wow. Foles is good at that high arcing throw. Turnover, two plays, touchdown. There's that missing coverage again. Good hold. So a sack, followed by a big run by McCoy. Foles had McCoy on the left side on that one. And ANOTHER hard count draws the Eagles offsides. The other side of that is the Eagles have gotten no pressure. Called it, and nice play by Boykin to break that up.


Oh crap. It feels like the Eagles' offensive line has been getting bashed all night and that's what happens. Another good hold by the defense. Hmm, the Eagles have found something on this right side. Hey, Celek's open again. That was... interesting, I guess. DeSean got stuffed at the 6-inch line. Do you go for this? Oh man, somebody on the Cowboys iced the defense. They run a sneak with Foles and he doesn't even come close to making it.


Now the Cowboys have a problem on 4th and 1 from the 40. I think you go. Good job by Collinsworth pointing out the effectiveness of the hard count so far. Barwin knocks it down! He could have hauled it in and gotten some yards. Hey, a Riley Cooper sighting. Chip has gradually slowed the pace here on this drive. Hey, a Bryce Brown sighting! That drive was longer than most Eagles touchdown drives.


You know who's been good tonight is Kyle Orton. That ball to Witten was a laser. Delay of game? Seriously? That seemed sudden and yet it's so Cowboys. What? The clock operator screwed up? Oh, you can't make this stuff up. This is a home game!


Also, given my complaining about the refs earlier, I should point out that they are calling nothing on the outside. Like, Dez and Cary Williams are going to have to draw swords if they want anything called. NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Who called THAT defense? Why would you leave Chung by himself in coverage, and on Bryant, no less? Now for the two-point try. DENIED. Did Barwin get a piece of that one, too? Oh, it was Williams. That kickoff was odd on both sides. What happened there? I mean, at least Foles slid to stay inbounds. BASED PUNTING GOD.















That pick was Romo-esque. Everything after this is... well, I don't really like gravy, so let's call it the whipped cream on a McDonald's milkshake. And I leave you for now with this:


(Eagles 24, Cowboys 22)

RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. Seattle (13-3) — Puts down another brick
2. Denver (13-3) — Three incompletions for Peyton. THREE.
3. Carolina (12-4) — Bringing the pressure cooker
4. San Francisco (12-4) — Streaking and dangerous

BOTTOM 4:
29. Oakland (4-12) — The Raiders don't matter. And that's a bad thing
30. Cleveland (4-12) — Wait... they fired Chudzinski after one year?
31. Houston (2-14) — The misery is over
32. Washington (3-13) — About to start over yet again

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