Saturday, December 4, 2010

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 12: Off The Rack (of Lamb)

So how long can the new, improved Lions hang? Let's find out. I think this is the most Lions games I've ever seen in one season (three) and I like seeing how good Calvin Johnson is at catching passes from mediocre-at-best-quarterbacks. The guy played with Reggie Ball, arguably the worst four-year starter ever, in college. Is it really 14-3? Someone tell the Patriots you're not supposed to have the turkey dinner until after the game. This first possession out of halftime is big. They forced a punt! Wow. This could get very interesting if the Lions can sustain something (and by the way, this is the Week 12 I was thinking about back at Eagles-Lions in week 2) Oops. That might be a game-changer in the bad way. Well, wait a second... the Lions just went ahead again. But the Patriots are firing on all proverbial cylinders now. Yeah, I guess it was only a matter of time. Anyone who had "three quarters" in the pool, please come to Window 8 to collect. Look for the guy trying to cut into the rack of lamb. Brady ended up with a perfect quarterback rating? Unreal. (Patriots 45, Lions 24)

Seriously, there's not a lot of meat on these bones.

Quite a few Saints fans at Jerryworld. So is Bush playing or not? One guy said maybe, one guy said no, and yet there he is, but it's this Chris Ivory kid who's doing the heavy lifting. The Saints' engine is humming. Seventeen points in the first quarter? The old Saints — and the old Cowboys — appear to have resurfaced. Was that a Julius Jones sighting? REVERSE. I don't think Austin had caught a pass yet, either. Oooh, Bush dropped a probable touchdown there. He slipped? What is this, Soldier Field? And then he fumbles the punt... not a good sequence. Let's sort out this McBriar thing. Oh, I see, you can't kick a ball when it's on the ground. So why not take the penalty and make them re-kick and try for better field position? Dez Bryant is angry. Somebody calm him down (Seriously! You're back in the game!) and throw a pass in his direction or something because that's the first time I've actually seen him all game. It's interesting that the Cowboys are still in it despite that fact. And now they've got the ball again after the rookie tight end let one go off his hands. An ice-cold Tashard Choice on fourth and goal? Really, Garrett? Oh, never mind. I am displeased by this. Oh, Roy. Even when you catch it your hands let you down. How does that even happen? Time to find the magic, Saints. I can't say that took long. 59 yards with a guy with the leg and reliability of Sebastian Janikowski? Good luck with THAT. Wide left! LOL at Payton trying to do the last-moment timeout thing and not getting it. That's a less aesthetically offensive version of the Galloping Gobbler than we've seen in years past. And yes, I still miss the mutant six-legged turkeys. (Saints 30, Cowboys 27)

Signal Finder: GB @ ATL, JAX @ NYG, PIT @ BUF (end regulation), PHI @ CHI

What are Brennaman and Billick doing here? There's been quite a bit of going for it on fourth down today with mixed results. Rodgers' fumble on the fourth-and-goal sneak was on the bad side of that mix. You know who's still good is Tony Gonzalez. Another sneak from Rodgers... hey, it worked this time! Oh, man, Turner could have walked in backwards. (P.S. Also on fourth down.) Hey, Mike McCarthy, I know you guys can't run the ball but lining up in the shotgun on 4th and 1 from the opponents' 45 is making it a little too obvious what's coming. Also, how did that drive take so long? The Packers have the ball back and I'm not sure they have any plays where Rodgers lines up under center. Either that or they've just thrown those away. If there was a next play here Rodgers can design it and come up with a snap count with all the time he has. Is he in? Yeah, without question. Looks like overtime. Or not, as he clearly grabbed the face mask. That's a good way to lose a game. Did Ryan really not throw an incompletion in the second half? Ridiculous. (Falcons 20, Packers 17)

This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Derek Anderson; 2. Steve Johnson; 3. Roy Williams; 4. Cortland Finnegan; 5. Josh McDaniels

Kevin Boss just ran through that tackle like it wasn't happening. Seems like he hasn't become what the Giants thought he would when they traded Shockey, and they're going to need him now with their receivers dropping left and right (BTW, we've located Devin Thomas; the Giants just picked him up off waivers from the Panthers, of all teams.) That's a lot of sacks at one time. The Giants needed this win to avoid having that happen again. On the other side, the Jaguars clearly can't be trusted. (Giants 24, Jaguars 20)

I mean, I guess by the transitive property the Lions are unluckier than the Bills because the Bills beat them, but man, it's close. (Steelers 19, Bills 16, OT)

You know, you'd think going through life named "Cortland", you'd eventually figure out how to handle yourself in a fight. That's all I'm saying. (Texans 20, Titans 0)

What I'm actually most interested in seeing is if Mike Martz actually uses tight end Greg Olsen in the passing game, given how bad the Eagles are at covering tight ends, even though they're also starting two backups at cornerback. Of course I'll need to wait a bit on that as the Eagles have won the toss. Five plays in and it looks like Martz has chosen the wide receivers. Also, now that they've decided on their guys for the offensive line, that group's starting to play better as evidenced by Forte snapping off that 60-yarder or whatever it was. On the other side, it's amazing the difference Peppers has made for the Bears — they can get pressure with four and just use everybody else to fill in passing lanes, like Urlacher did there just before he got beat by Maclin on the next play. They're also mostly healthy, which never hurts. And again the Eagles' red-zone offense from two years ago makes an appearance. Well, the interception-less streak had to end sometime. What an ugly-looking pass, though. Oh, it was tipped. Should he have even run it out? Uh-oh. That could turn into the game-changer if the Bears get a touchdown here. Look at Cutler playing in control and making intelligent decisions. This Eagles secondary is getting used and abused — the safeties are having to do different things to help out the corners who are getting lit up and it's just not going well all the way around. On the other side, it's amazing the difference Peppers has made for the Bears — they can get pressure with four and just use everybody else to fill in passing lanes. They're also mostly healthy, which also helps. Kicking this field goal looks worse because of the other one they kicked earlier at the 4-yard line, but it's 4th and 18 here. Even so, they should have gone for the first one because if you don't make it, the game's over anyway. Whoa, Celek finally caught a pass! And it was behind him and in triple coverage? He catches that one but misses about four when he's wide open? Whatever. I'll tell you this: I don't want to come here in January and face them on this field if they keep this up. And the rest of you shouldn't, either. (Bears 31, Eagles 26)

Sorry, Bucs... you're just not ready yet. But it's better this way in the long run. (Ravens 17, Buccaneers 10)

Even given the Colts' historical struggles with the 3-4 and the Chargers' seeming knowledge of how to rattle their cage, this is nuts. Three interceptions again? OK, we won't blame Peyton for that one because Weddle clearly pulled Wayne out of the path of the pass and finished the route himself (how no official sees that is beyond me) but he's been genuinely awful for the first time in a long time. (Chargers 36, Colts 14)

Brian Westbrook lives! I think before this he'd gotten more carries in London than he had in every other game in America this season. The Cardinals fan out there is pining for the halcyon day of Timm Rosenbach. Matt Leinart's sitting at home watching the postgame saying, "See, I wouldn't have done THAT, either." (49ers 27, Cardinals 6)

FANTASY REPORT

aPa Whiskey (5-7, L1): Still in eighth place (actually a four-way tie for seventh) after a not-so-good loss.

JackSux 7 (5-7, W1): Unexpectedly back in the hunt after Brady carries me to a win over Butch.

RANKINGS

TOP 4:
1. N.Y. Jets (9-2) — Taking it easy for once
2. New England (9-2) — Gearing up for a showdown
3. Atlanta (9-2) — Making another statement
4. Baltimore (8-3) — It's quiet down there. TOO quiet

BOTTOM 4:
29. Arizona (3-8) — The Cardinals are back, ladies and gentlemen
30. Buffalo (2-9) — Adding the Shawne Merriman waiver pickup to the list of fantastic blunders
31. Cincinnati (2-9) — Do not diss The Island
32. Carolina (1-10) — Assuming Andrew Luck declares... do you even take him?

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