By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 13: Perilous and Ponderous

This is coming back, isn't it? Yeah, of course it is. It doesn't seem to matter watching this drive, though. Or this one. Or even this one, though the Texans did at least hold them to a field goal here. These drives have all taken a decent amount of time, too, which is encouraging. Is it just me or did McCoy pick up his game when Vick came back? How does Joel Dreesen keep getting wide open against good teams? I was worried that without Samuel, if the Eagles were going to blow a lead like this, it'd be on a big play but that hasn't happened. Like the Eagles in the first half, the Texans are doing this with long, methodical drives. Well there's a bomb to Andre Johnson. Plenty of time left for Houston's defense to cough another one up. You know, Wade Phillips is out there. (Before you ask me if I'm crazy, I'd absolutely hire Wade to just run a defense.) I feel like Vick doesn't get low enough when he sneaks but it seems to work. (He's not a big guy, either Celek got that one on the stretch, and I can't believe I'm about to say this, but throw the flag, Andy. Come on, he got it. Yes! The difference between six points and 10 is huge here and that's why you do that. I don't know if there's anything to this, but I'm beginning to believe the Texans actually traded Kyle Shanahan to the Redskins and got back their staggering inability to finish games. (Eagles 34, Texans 24)

Signal Finder: WAS @ NYG; CLE @ MIA, DEN @ KC (end), NO @ CIN (end); DAL @ IND; ATL @ TB (end)

Can the Browns avenge their brothers-in-arms on the hardwood? sees Jake Delhomme is starting I'm gonna go ahead and say "no." This has been kind of a snoozefest, to be honest. 60 yards! That'll wake these people up. Oh man, overtime just went through that Dolphins DB's hands.,although this game's been so bad I'm not sure anyone would stick around for 15 more minutes of it. I would have bet everything I own that Delhomme and not Chad Henne would throw the game-killing interception. How does he not score? It's GOOD! Why are the Dolphins so bad at home this year? Is it delayed karma from the Orange Bowl demolition? Also, Eric Mangini needs some Coach of the Year votes — this is a 4-12 roster at best and he has an outside shot at 8-8. crosses off Dolphins (Browns 13, Dolphins 10)

Did the Lions just get screwed out of a win over the Bears again? (Bears 24, Lions 20)

I'm well aware that the Redskins have plenty of more important problems. But the yellow pants have got to go. No Haynesworth, not that you'd notice. Although thinking about it, I guess you would miss a giant blob of unmotivated, apathetic fat. Especially when the Giants are running right through the hole that he theoretically would have filled up. I think it's safe to say the switch to the 3-4 hasn't exactly paid dividends. And yet this team has somehow already won one more game than last year. Does Coughlin have Ahmad Bradshaw doing that thing he did with Tiki where he carries a ball up under his neck or wherever everywhere he goes? Because it worked for Tiki is all I'm saying. If Jake Delhomme against Carolina last week was a 0.0000001 on the Vengeance Scale, Devin Thomas against the Redskins may actually be a negative number. He blocked a punt! This is his greatest game ever. This can't end soon enough. And it ended pretty soon. crosses off Redskins (Giants 31, Redskins 7)

Really, Sean Payton? Really? This BETTER work. Of course, Lynch's rationale that the Saints are a better team anyway probably does figure into it — if they're better , they should be able to get this first down anyway. They sure are taking their time. Wait... are they trying to draw them offsiOH MY GOD IT WORKED. And the Bengals player clearly moved first looking at this replay. Good teams find ways to win games and bad teams find ways to lose games. But that kickoff return gave the Bengals time... time they've just squandered by somehow not calling time out. That's such a Bengals way to lose. (Saints 34, Bengals 30)

Bill Simmons, in his mini-prediction column: "The No Handshake Bowl II. And there won't be a III." (Chiefs 10, Broncos 6)

This should never have happened. Although at the start of this weekend I would have preferred this being our only CBS game here instead of anything in the 1 p.m. block. (Raiders 28, Chargers 13)

That was too easy. So was that. The Scandrick interception was a little more difficult but I have a pattern to maintain here. Is a Colts game in the Peyton Manning era going to be over by halftime? With the Colts losing? I can't believe what I'm seeing here. Some of Peyton's recent interceptions have been so bad they've looked like his rookie season. The thing I've noticed on the ones he's thrown today is that the Cowboys aren't being fooled. He's not throwing it directly to them, but they know where the ball's going, and it seems like that's been a problem for some of his other recent ones. Of course, count him out at your own peril. Are the Cowboys really about to completely blow this lead? Yep. Off a blocked punt, of all things, which isn't even in play if the penalty doesn't wipe out that monster kickoff return. Still, it's very tenuous at one point and I don't think I'd throw the ball at all if I'm the Cowboys — they've been running wild all day. And that's exactly what they're doing. They threw two passes on that drive (both to Witten) and chewed up almost the entire fourth quarter. Two and a half minutes left? That's two minutes more than the Colts actually need. You'd think the Cowboys would be triple-teaming Wayne on every play and making Peyton throw to guys he's clearly not comfortable with, which is also part of the problem. I think Javarris James has more rushing touchdowns than every other Colts running back this season. And if anything happens to him, the next phone call could be to his cousin Edge. The fact that Peyton's thrown three interceptions, had two of them returned for touchdowns, and we're still going to overtime says a lot about a lot of things. What, again? Are you kidding me? It's the Super Bowl losers' curse. I don't have any better explanations. (Cowboys 38, Colts 35, OT)

How is it that we can have bonus coverage after a game that went halfway into overtime? I feel like if you swapped the Bucs' and Lions' schedules, you could also swap their records. (Falcons 28, Buccaneers 24)

Is it 2007 again? Max: "I haven't seen a beating like this since the glory days of Jerry Flynn." Turn out the lights, the party's over. (Patriots 45, Jets 3)

FANTASY REPORT

aPa Whiskey (5-8, L2): No playoffs. All I had to do was beat Janey and I would have gotten in, but I lost by less than two points.

JackSux 7 (6-7, W2): Thanks to Brady and Jennings, I beat the crap out of Rob (again, always a good time) to eliminate him from playoff contention. Now it comes down to one game, me against Rob's brother, who's also 6-7. Winner is in, loser is out.

RANKINGS

TOP 4

1. New England (10-2) — Also of note: Brady hasn't thrown a pick in two months
2. Pittsburgh (9-3) — Round 6,721,453 to the Steelers
3. Atlanta (10-2) — Could make a case they should have lost both games to the Buccaneers
4. Baltimore (8-4) — Still seems like something's missing

BOTTOM 4

29. Arizona (3-9) —In a way, this feels like order's been restored to the universe
30. Buffalo (2-10) — Would Los Angeles even want them?
31. Cincinnati (2-10) — They've lost NINE IN A ROW. That's almost impossible
32. Carolina (1-11) — Gave Seattle a scare for about 25 minutes

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Listening to: John Lennon-Watching the Wheels
via FoxyTunes