If you have NFL RedZone, you could have heard this: Rich Gannon questioned the Bengals calling time out before their game-winning field goal attempt, saying “That leaves just enough time for the Browns' Joshua Cribbs to run the kickoff back for a touchdown.” Oh really? Mr. Gannon, I believe you know Mr. McNabb and Mr. Ward; have a seat. We... have something to discuss. (Bengals 23, Browns 20, OT)
PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. I mean, it's bad enough that you're a terrible team. You can't do THAT. It's almost as if the two Steve Smiths switched bodies or something. I see the Chiefs haven't gotten any faster. Or stronger, as Jacobs just ran over three guys. What the heck was Eli jumping for? The play before the touchdown pass to Nicks (which he had no business scoring on, by the way) he jumps before pump-faking again and missing Smith, then he reaches down and grabs his foot. Why did he jump? Who knows. The Chiefs' playcalling down here is pretty atrocious. How did THAT work? Not only did the protection completely fall apart and Cassel almost got taken down twice, but Wade and the other guy almost collided. If they had, it would have seemed... somehow appropriate. (Giants 27, Chiefs 16)
Butch: “Did Steve McNair's girlfriend put a bullet in the whole goddamn franchise? WTF?” Seriously, does what's happened here make any sense? Albert Haynesworth wasn't that important, was he? crosses off Titans (Jaguars 37, Titans 17)
Really, Who Gives A Rat's Ass?: Redskins 16, Buccaneers 13
Why don't the Broncos have their name or logo or something in the end zones? Nobody else plays there. The Cowboys sure are doing a good job of letting the Broncos hang around. I mean, can Romo overthrow any more receivers? OOOOH. Roy got lit up by whoever that was. OK, let's break down the Marshall touchdown: He jumps over Newman's back and picks the ball off his head. Then he turns and runs across the field into the rest of the Cowboys' secondary. He breaks a tackle, then reverses field and outruns five guys to the end zone. Look, I know Hurd made that big catch for you earlier, but why are you throwing to him twice down by the end zone? With Champ Bailey covering him, no less? Isn't that why you people pay Jason Witten? Champ's still got it. (Broncos 17, Cowboys 10)
Ah, the classic matchup. That's how Darren Sharper rolls. Remember how I said the Saints' defense only needed to be better than last year's for them to be dangerous? Well, this Saints' defense is better than last year's, and the classic matchup has been reversed. Sanchez looks like a guy with four career starts, but you knew this was going to happen at some point. (Saints 24, Jets 10)
I'm going to condense all of the analysis, both good and bad, you've heard about this game down into 10 words: You know why the Steelers won? Because they had to. (Steelers 38, Chargers 28)
Here's the other thing: Favre going into Lambeau in Vikings purple is – legitimately – a much, MUCH bigger deal than this. You know who hasn't done much so far is Adrian Peterson. And that won't help the cause. Someone please explain to me why the Packers, of all teams, aren't rushing Favre. You'd think they'd know better than anyone else how to mess with his timing and consistency. Seriously, they're practically daring him to beat them and he's doing it. Conversely, Rodgers is getting crushed out there and it's surprising that the Packers are still sort of in this game despite that. Playing the role of Mark Clayton tonight will be... Donald Lee. Most bizarre replay challenge ever? I say yes. Favre: “Well, I guess you gotta be remembered for something.” This game ended up being the most-watched cable program in history, and when you consider it knocked the likes of "High School Musical 2" from the top spot, is that really the worst thing in the world? (Vikings 30, Packers 23)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (2-2, L2): Johnny beat me on the strength of 39 points from the 49ers defense. This is what happens when you play the Rams.
JackSux6 (3-1, L1): Damn that Jared Allen. If Donald Driver catches one more pass I wipe out a huge deficit and beat Butch. Oh well.
Lincoln Continentals (3-1, W1): Beating Rob is always fun.
And now, one week later than usual, the debut of... RANKINGS! (I compromised. WITH MYSELF. I'm doing top and bottom four this year.)
TOP 4:
1. N.Y. Giants (4-0) – Development of WRs key to early surge
2. New Orleans (4-0) – Have won with offense and defense
3. Indianapolis (4-0) – In case you haven't noticed, Peyton's on fire
4. Minnesota (4-0) – Hard to argue after Monday night
BOTTOM 4:
29. Tampa Bay (0-4) – This was to be expected, but maybe not quite this bad
30. Kansas City (0-4) – Slow and stupid loses the race
31. St. Louis (0-4) – This... this is gonna take a while
32. Cleveland (0-4) – I'll tell you what, I'm gonna run out of things to say by Week 9 at this rate
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