Signal Finder: TB @ PHI, PIT @ DET (end), CLE @ BUF (end), NE @ DEN
Would this qualify as a trap game? I'm not sure because Andy's never lost this one. Besides, what would the trap be? Going to Oakland next week? Please. Welcome to the show, Mr. Maclin. I don't recognize any of these people playing for the Buccaneers. This Johnson guy's got a good arm on him. Too bad he doesn't have anyone besides the Soldier to catch balls. Sure, why not. You're 0-4 and going to suck all year probably. CAN WE GET A STOP ONE TIME. Oh, OK. What? Eh, if you say so. Let's go down and get the touchdown anyway. In addition to Al Davis, I'd also like to thank the Cleveland Browns for allowing us the services of Jeremy Maclin. Seriously, you don't think the Browns could've used him? Back to the present: how will the Bucs not score this time? Never mind. Where's the ball? OMG. The left tackle? This could get comedically disastrous. I think Samuel just bounced off him. Well, so much for that. The Eagles really are blitzing this kid like it's going out of style, and rightly so, probably. The Bucs have been getting killed by the big play all year, and today was no exception. (Eagles 33, Buccaneers 14)
Here's the thing: Normally when a key player's status is in question, there won't be a line on the game. Eli was listed as questionable all week and the Giants were still favored by 15. I don't expect Eli to be in very long. LOL at Boomer's “we're contractually obligated to show these highlights” line. (Giants 44, Raiders 7)
This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: It's like I'm looking at a bad team and a better version of the same bad team. If that makes any sense. Are the Chiefs actually ahead here? Cowboys fans have been talking up Miles Austin for about four years while the rest of us waited for him to actually do something. He'd become the Houston Texans of individual players. And he finally came through today. Though it should not have come to that. (Cowboys 26, Chiefs 20, OT)
I'm Sorry You Had To See That: Browns 6, Bills 3
Wait, are the Browns playing again? What are those things? They really are going all out with the AFL tribute thing, especially with the Patriots calling themselves “Boston” for this game. I do like the hat on that one Broncos' PR guy. That pass hit Welker right in the back. I just noticed that the Patriots have not scored since halftime. Brandon Marshall does it again! See, this is how you get paid. You see the benefits of shutting up and playing? Wow, Brady missed Moss big-time there. He's had bad games before just like everybody else, but I don't ever remember him being so inconsistent. Oooovertime. This isn't a lock. Well, now it is. So instead of a brief, awkward hug that would have been psychoanalyzed to death by the woefully under-qualifiedd, Belichick and McDaniels agreed to just give each other a courtesy wave afterwards, and now McDaniels is in the end zone doing his best Tiger Woods impression. What a bizarre game. (Broncos 20, Patriots 17, OT)
Seriously, it's high time for Vince Young, Round 2, isn't it? I mean, it's not Kerry Collins's fault, but this season's over. (Colts 31, Titans 9)
Hey, a Marc Anthony sighting. Gloria Estefan still looks good, by the way. Is that Ricky Williams going off? Edwards is playing? Interesting. Fake punt~~~~~ Okay, how do you fall for it the second time? Chad Henne is picking the Jets' defense apart, and that's not a sentence I expected to write this year. Nice catch by Edwards, who's fitting in well so far despite the fact that he's down at the 1 here. SPEED! Can't anybody here hold a lead? I'm sorry, that's not pass interference. This certainly isn't the game I was expecting to see. What's crazy about this is that the Ravens defense – which Rex was in charge of – completely squashed the Wildcat in their playoff game last year. Why is Rex still looking at the clock? TOUCHDOWN. (Dolphins 31, Jets 27)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (3-2, W1): Sure, Carson Palmer had a lousy game. But you know who didn't? Ronnie Brown. The Vikings' defense. And Andre Johnson (Desperation fourth-quarter touchdowns~~~~).
JackSux 6 (4-1, W1): That's better. Peyton basically only needed to show up for me to beat Rob. And he did – to the tune of three more touchdowns and over 41 points.
Lincoln Continentals (4-1, W2): Won again despite leaving 68 points on the bench in Ahmad Bradshaw and Glen Coffee, of all people.
RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. N.Y. Giants (5-0) – Big test next week
2. New Orleans (4-0) – Rested and ready for G-Men
3. Indianapolis (5-0) – Seriously, Peyton can't be stopped right now
4. Minnesota (5-0) – Favre might be right about his “best team ever” comment
BOTTOM 4:
29. Tampa Bay (0-5) – Things might get better eventually
30. Kansas City (0-5) – Had a chance, but just aren't good enough
31. St. Louis (0-5) – This... this is gonna take a while
32. Cleveland (0-5) – Clearly a seller's market
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