By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 9: The Clearing

Signal Finder: DAL @ WSH, HOU @ NYG, DEN @ PIT

Really, Who Gives A Rat's Ass: Packers-Bills.

Three cheers for hated rivals. There's an auspicious beginning. Doesn't the chart also say that you should never go for two before the fourth quarter? If not, it should. Romo looks decent. If the Redskins lose, you can cross them off and start getting Jason Campbell prepped. Hey, T.O., nice catch. Wait, here they come now. And here's the Redskins' season possibly on the line. He missed? Good Lord. Did the Cowboys really get down there in like 12 seconds? LIQUORED-UP IDIOT KICKER. I don't know if that was a 15-yard face mask - in fact, I'm thinking it wasn't - but I'll take it. OMG Nick Novak again. That JUST made it.

Chaz: "Lost to the Dolphins, huh? They ARE the '85 Bears!"

You know who's good is Roy Williams. Even the biggest pessimist had to see this one coming out of the Lions at some point, as this is what Mike Martz's offenses do. The Falcons were supposed to win this game, right?

The Ravens are 6-2? Really?

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Texans-Giants. Seriously.

Rod Smith lives! I think Plummer's implosion in the championship game last year caused Shanahan to scale back his passing opportunities. His stats don't show it, but it seems like they're running the ball early in games more than ever. Man, the Steelers look like they've been hit by lightning. Still, there's some shades of the old Ben on the TD pass to Parker, and a good job by Parker to get himself open. The crowd cheering when Wilson replaced Holmes on the punt return ... you know it's a rough year. Wow, Javon Walker is just going off. Cuts across the field to beat the pursuit and then just ... he may still be running. Oh, no, he had to stop and line up to catch another touchdown pass. crosses off Steelers

The thing about this is the Colts aren't intimidated any more after last year. Wait, don't run it out! "Nice catch, Hayes. Don't ever fucking do it again." Huh, I thought I heard Maroney might not play tonight. And playing the role of Reggie Wayne last week will be ... Marvin Harrison. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Did the ending of the first half remind anyone of last year's playoff loss to Denver? That whole "Are these the Patriots?" vibe? What I'm noticing about Wilkins on his punt returns (and it's strange that I'm noticing this) is he doesn't force anything. He'll actually slow down and wait for some blocks to be set up instead of immediately changing direction. Wrap him up, Freeney! WRAP HIM UP! Great catch by Harrison. WTF Vinatieri. Wow. Brady was nothing short of bad tonight (Granted, he got no help from his receivers) but not as bad as the MNF loss to the Dolphins a couple of years ago that is still Upset of the Decade.

This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Kevin Faulk Tyler Brayton; 2. Kevin Faulk; 3. Ben Roethlisberger; 4. Santonio Holmes; 5. A placekicker.

And things continue to go wrong for the Raiders. Gotta love that weather. The Raiders' defense has acutally sort of been able to hold the Seahawks down after that start, but they can't move the ball at all. Man, Moss is having an awful night. That's Bosworth? I thought it was Terry Bradshaw until he started talking. I'm starting to fear for Andrew Walter's health. What's helping the Seahawks is that they don't actually have to play all that well to win this game. What the hell was that? Was that the Harley Race knee? Is dude a Triple H fan or something? Throw his ass out! shakes head And the Raiders become the first team to be shut out on MNF twice in the same season or something obscene like that.

FANTASY REPORT

USFLaPa (7-2, W1): Back on track after LDT carried me to a win over Doom.

JackSux III (2-7, L7): The trade: Brad Johnson and Tony Gonzalez to Butch for Issac Bruce, Byron Leftwich, Michael Turner, and the Bengals D. The result: A loss to Butch. Chad Johnson is benched until he gets his shit together.

RANKINGS

TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (8-0) - Two huge road wins give Colts top spot
2. Denver (6-2) - Nice bounce-back
3. San Diego (6-2) - Chugging along under radar

BOTTOM 3:
30. Houston (2-6) - Meh for moral victories
31. Oakland (2-6) - This wouldn't be happening if Al Davis was still alive
32. Arizona (1-7) - At least they didn't lose