Tuesday, October 31, 2006

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 8: All You Can Eat, Baby

Signal Finder: JAX @ PHI, STL @ SD, IND @ DEN, UCONN @ RU

The other reason the Tampa Bay loss is so bad is that the Eagles have a bye week next week, and they always lose this game and usually look horrible doing so. With that in mind ... that's as ominous a beginning as possible. And it's just getting worse from here. The Jaguars aren't even pretending to consider passing the ball. Apparently the rule there is once you, as the punter, start to run with the ball, you're fair game regardless. (Aside: How the hell was that #1 on "Jacked Up!"? That was the weakest hit of the five.) "There are no cameras allowed within the player box" because Stroud was on the sideline with a camera in his bag taking pictures of the action, I guess. You know it's getting bad when McNabb has to lobby to get a clear facemask call. The field-level mics are excellent today. What's with all the penalties? It's like they've become the Raiders. Wow, the Jaguars are literally running wild here like nobody has this season. In a way, I'm not surprised by any of this. CATCH THE FUCKING BALL. What is this, 2001 again?

OCHO CINCO. LOL at Carson ripping the fake name banner off the back. And it's about time Chad got involved, isn't it? Vick's going off again. Can he keep it up? Why is Schaub in on the two-point conversion?

Really, Who Gives A Rat's Ass?: Texans-Titans.

Reggie Bush, while good, is clearly no LaDanian Tomlinson, as evidenced by that ill-advised pass there. These are the Saints of, well, most years: the bunch that can't get out of their own way. Man, Heap catching the ball off the tip by Craft - now they're just sabotaging themselves. Billick takes over the playcalling and the Ravens put up 35? Was that the solution all these years?

from the wire story: "About half the team the Seahawks took to the last Super Bowl seemed either suspended, demoted or lame." Is Brock Huard still in the league? Man, the Seahawks' offense is beyond bogged down; it's positively stagnant, though give Seneca credit for trying. LJ's running wild. Are they really getting lit up by Eddie Kennison? Really? Don't throw it! At least not there! The Chiefs are really, really trying to lose this game ... first that, then Law dropping the pick, then he fell on the Jackson touchdown. Wow, did they get bailed out.

The Cardinals may not recover from the Bears chokeout. I mean ever. The hell were you thinking, Edge? At least he finally scored.

The Jets are 4-4? If it weren't for the Saints, this would be the surprise of the year.

THIS IS A CLASH OF TITANS. This should be very interesting if only to see if Shanahan lets the Broncos' offense try to do anything against the Colts' defense. The Colts would be better served at this point using the pass to set up the run. Darrent Williams is getting used and abused. You know who's good is Peyton Manning. This can't be what the Broncos wanted - they're putting uppoints, but they have to because their vaunted defense is getting cut up. On the flip side, usually the score would be about 33-10 by now. Mike Bell in the house! 1:48? Yeah, that's way too much time. See?

I got the two years switched in my head. Sorry, Rob. (But I'm right about the fallout from that Arizona loss.) WTF Ben. Hey, a Jerry Porter sighting! He could be just the... spark... this offense... needs? Wow. This is truly pathetic. On both sides. Cowher really just needs to put Batch back in because Ben's not right.

LDT goes off. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. It's strange actually seeing the dramatic philosophical shift the Rams have undergone under Linehan. Falling behind early put the kibosh on that, though. Stephen Davis? I'm not sure about the onside kick in that spot. I mean, yeah, you'd have to score almost immediately if you stop them on defense, but if they get it and score, it's over. Maybe next time they'll listen to me.

What's happened to the Panthers?

It's almost too obvious a strategy, isn't it? Throw the ball repeatedly against a good run defense? So that's where Brooks Bollinger ended up. I didn't know.

FANTASY REPORT USFLaPa (5-3, L1): Thanks to McNabb's no-show (not to mention, well, everybody else's), Chaz crushed us. I'm not a fan of my WR depth at this point. Next is Doom, who scored all of 20 points last week.
JackSux (2-6, L6): Enough is enough AND IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE. My six-player deal with Butch had not been approved at press time.

RANKINGS

TOP 3:
1. Chicago (7-0) - If they can keep scoring points like this...
2. Indianapolis (7-0) - Clear leader in AFC
3. (tie) New England (6-1) - Don't look now, but...
(tie) San Diego (5-2) - The Merriman situation bears watching

BOTTOM 3:
30. Oakland (2-5) - Ah, sweet home cooking
31. Detroit (1-6) - Meh
32. Arizona (1-7) - Same old Cardinals

4 comments:

Rob T said...

Oh, you were talking about 2002?

Well, you're still wrong. :-D The Caridnals game was one of three games in a row the Raiders lost after starting 4-0 - and the last one in that stretch was to the Niners in OT. (In fact, the Cards/Niners OT losses were back to back). If the Cards game had been the first loss in the stretch, I could buy your argument...or maybe even the last one. I might even buy it if the Raiders hadn't started the next year kicking ass and then started losing after losing Rich Gannon to injury.

At that point (after the Niners/Cards OT losses), the Raiders were 4-4.

They proceeded to lose only one more game all year, win easily in the divisional round, smash the fuck out of Tennessee in the AFC Championship and then, yes, get killed in the Super Bowl. Not because they "collapsed", but because Bill Callahan apparently just crossed out Gruden's name on the playbook and scribbled his in on crayon and Tampa might as well have been in the Oakland huddle every down.

I don't buy collapse from that.

Super Bowl hangover? Hell yeah.

Losing Rich Gannon early the next year? Yes.

Bill Callahan being a total fuckup who just inherited the right team . You bet. In fact, Bill Callahan's name is all over this mess - and I, SLJ style, do believe he deserved to die. Metaphorically speaking. *glares*

This is beside the point. Which is AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH RAIDERS WIN! RAIDERS WIN! We beat the Super Bowl champs. And we have a chance for the Super Sweep with Hasslesuck and Alexander still out for Monday.

Meh.

Matt said...

No, I'm talking about 2001.

The Raiders were 8-2 and had home-field advantage all but locked up before losing 34-31 to Arizona in Week 12. The next week, they beat the Chiefs by two in a game they tried like hell to lose, then they beat the Chargers by 7.

Then they lost their last three games by a combined 11 points; two of them at home, the last one to the Jets, costing them a first-round bye and forcing a rematch the following week in the wild-card round.

They beat the Jets in the rematch to earn a trip to New England (who had been the beneficiary of the Raiders' Dolphins-esque December collapse) and you know how that story ends.

My point was that I thought '01 happened in '02 and vice versa.

(Oh, and in '02, the Raiders lost four in a row, not three. So there. :P)

Rob T said...

Okay.

If you were just saying they "collapsed" at the end of 2001, then fine. But you said that loss was the start of a collapse that's led to where they are now.

It's a fine bit of analysis, but your point just doesn't work unless a)you pretend for the sake of the statement that 2002 and a good start to 2003 never happened or b)you consider ending a year 10-1 (counting two playoff games) and going to a Super Bowl as being a "collapse." Which means you're gorram insane.

RUAAAH! Thank you for playing.

Matt said...

Did you not see where I said I thought '01 happened in '02 and vice versa, which is clearly wrong? Obviously the analysis doesn't work in that case.