Tuesday, October 10, 2006

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 5: Proof of Pwnership

Signal Finder: WSH @ NYG, BUF @ CHI, MIA @ NE (2nd half), DAL @ PHI, SD(P) @ STL

When you're already overmatched, you can't give your opponents opportunities, either. That's what's hurting the Bills as much as anything else. Where'd this Davis come from? Arena League? OK. This is a beating, plain and simple. When these commercials end, I expect to be watching something else.

Joey Harrington? Really? (I got switched over at 30-0.) What's sad is that this might actually be one of his ten best games. Seriously, how did this happen? It's not like he's a head case like Ryan Leaf was and you could see it coming. Baffling. The Evans touchdown call may have been the least enthusiastic in the history of broadcasting.

I'm calling it now: if the Giants lose today, they're toast. Yet the Redskins aren't acting like they're aware of that. They're very passive. This whole game seems to be running at three-quarter speed. Shockey's gone missing. This is why I don't trust the Redskins -- they're too Jekyll and Hyde. They did this all of last year, too.

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Titans-Colts. Young had a force field around him or something on his touchdown run. How did both Harrison and Wayne go four games without catching a touchdown pass?

It's just a matter of time before the "REG-GIE! REG-GIE!" chant comes back. The Saints are approaching something resembling actual legitimacy, which is as big a surprise as anything else that's happened this year.

Three reasons this game is legitimately important: 1) the Eagles haven't won a division game in over a year; 2) it's a division game; 3) the Eagles haven't beaten a decent team all year. Let's see if I can manage to not mention him by name in this recap. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. (Repeat for the entire first quarter.) Having Lito back is big. What's odd about all of this is that it seems like the nicer digs at Lincoln Financial have subdued the fans somewhat. I mean, it's still loud, but it's a tiny bit less hostile, if you can believe that. Hey, how about covering Witten one time? I know he's good, but still. Baskett's mad at himself. Guys, he was undrafted. I'm surprised Bledsoe has that many rushing touchdowns. Have they even thrown to him other than the Dawkins pick? This is killing him. Absolutely killing him. Roy Williams getting owned on a deep route? That's never happened before. Loved the multiple crowd shots after his drop. PROTECT THE... QUARTERBACK. (Swerve~) FLEA FLICKER!!! WTF LEWIS. Although Glenn would've caught it otherwise (and he dropped it as it was). LITOOOOOOOOO. Good Lord. I think Bledsoe's replaced Brett Favre. What a horrible throw. The other thing that did was cost a lot of gamblers a lot of money (the line was Dallas +7.5).

Hey, Matt Leinart! Your new uniform? I don't know about it. Aesthetically, I mean. I don't know if he's "ready", but I do know he's looked better than Warner did in his last eight or so games. At least MNF has a reason to even mention the Cardinals next week. WTF Kansas City. You have Larry Johnson and can't get four yards? Speaking of LJ, he's gonna want his head back after that face mask. Ouch.

Could San Francisco Bay overflow and drown both teams? It's possible, right? Can we hope?

The Padres are going to regret not jumping all over Carpenter here -- he's too good to not come out of this and shut them down afterwards. You know what's been kind of forgotten about him is that he was supposed to be this good -- he came up with Halladay in Toronto and they were going to bring the Blue Jays back, but he was just never healthy. Ryan Klesko's still alive? Well, barely, I guess.

Why is Michael Turner in the game? And why does he keep getting the ball? Did something happen? I need answers.

SNOW~~~~~~~ God bless Denver. If either team breaks 10, I'll be shocked. Okay, I'm shocked. But it was close.

FANTASY REPORT

USFLaPa (4-1, W4): We beat the winless Basselopes despite subpar outings from everyone not named Donovan McNabb.

JackSux 3 (2-3, L2): To be fair, half of my roster this week was backups, but still.

RANKINGS TOP 3:
1. Chicago (5-0) - And it's no longer close
2. Denver (3-1) - Though more than 12 point a game would be nice
3. Indianapolis (5-0) - You can't stay at #2 after almost getting picked off by the Titans

BOTTOM 3:
30. Tennessee (0-5) - A little something for the effort
31. Detroit (0-5) - Marinelli admits they're still undisciplined
32. Oakland (0-4) - Moss couldn't look more bored if he tried

No comments: