By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 11: The Beginning of the End

Signal Finder: TEN @ PHI, SEA @ SF, IND @ DAL

Yes, I started Chad this week.

It's way too early to be plugging the halftime show, isn't it? Jebus. That's 14 points the Eagles have flat-out dropped. What happened there? What do you mean, he can't put any weight on it? Oh, no, here comes the cart. This never ends well. Is Garcia still dating what's-her-name? Anybody know? Ever heard of tackling? Hey, the Titans found something Pacman can actually do. Good for them. Voting for Upset of the Year is officially closed. What's that, Andy? Oh. crosses off Eagles

Is it just me or do the Browns have the market cornered on ways to lose games they had won ever since they came back?

Is anybody going to score here? Anyone? Hello? Oh, here's ... oh, wait, Clark fell down. Scratch that. He was down, right? Right? Wow, Dungy really should have challenged that. Bad job by his staff on that one. Way to go, Vanderjagt! Both of these teams have looked pretty bad. Uh, Peyton? Who the hell was supposed to catch that? This should never have happened. I, for one, am disgusted. And NBC just threw up in its mouth.

This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. The Vikings' offense; 2. Andrew Walter; 3. The Browns' defense

Look who's back! Nice suit, Coach. Alexander looks rusty, like he didn't practice enough last week or something. Is this right? I'm seeing things, right? Eh, the Niners are so bad defensively it'll never hold up. See? Like I said. Whoa, big stop there. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. I'm going to repeat that, because it bears repeating. TIIIIICK tick tick tick tick TIIIIIIICK tick tick tick tick ... oops.

So the Chargers are going to come into Denver and lose again? Is that it? As a side note, we've heard that damn song three time already and the first quarter isn't even over yet, though that's not as bad as last week when they ran it three times before kickoff. Did we ever decide if it was the system or the backs? Because I have no idea who the hell Damien Nash is and he's gaining eight yards a pop. I don't think the Chargers are gonna be able to make this comeback running the ball. Well, they can always do that. Uh-oh. UH-OH. OK, the run LDT has been on as of late is borderline historic, isn't it? And what's sort of been overlooked in the midst of this and Rivers' improvement is how closely the two are related. This offense, while not as good overall as the Colts', has made the Broncos' defense look like clowns in the second half. Look at this. They're kicking off inside Broncos territory. That's got to be a first. This ending sequence here is completely unpredecented - you never see "the dumbest penalty ever" happen four times in a row. If the Chargers end up blowing this, Marty will set that stadium on fire on the spot, mark my words. Madden: "There's two footballs on the field."

I'm beginning to wonder if MNF should have a talk show-type announcer telling us who's going to be visiting the booth every week. Del Rio ALSO choosing to rock the suit. I like this trend. At the outset here, it looks like the good Jaguars have shown up tonight. The Giants are really spinning their wheels here. How'd he get away with that one? Was no one there? Eli is completely off, and they're going to miss Toomer more than people realize. I'm pretty sure I've expressed my David Garrard fandom before -- that big run he had there is what I'm talking about. The Giants didn't need this. You know the Jags are 3-1 against the NFC East (and could make a case for 4-0)?

FANTASY REPORT: USFLaPa (9-2, W3): So glad I didn't try to trade Brady last week for WR help. So, so glad. I'm smart. S-M-R-T. Oh, yeah, we're 9-2 after beating the Yorkville Gamblers.

JackSux 3: Oooh. This one's gonna be close. Jen had a lead of about 2.5 on me going into MNF, and I had Eli and she had Shockey. (EDIT: HOLY CRAP I WON! I WON! IT'S MORNING AGAIN IN AMERICA.)

RANKINGS TOP 3:
1. San Diego (8-2) - Comeback kids du jour
2. Chicago (9-1) - Bears 2, East Rutherford 0
3. Indianapolis (9-1) - Too many little things went wrong

BOTTOM 3:
30. Houston (3-7) - J.P. Losman? Really? Inexcusable
31. Detroit (2-8) - Leinart wins!
32. Oakland (2-8) - What question is Brooks possibly the answer to at this point?