No, Really. What The...

"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out."
--Anton Chekhov

So sometime last week, I lost my driver's license. Along with a set of wallet windows with some random cards in them.

And I have no idea when or how it happened.

It's funny. On the extremely rare occasions that I forget to put on my watch, I "feel" that it's missing more than I "see" it. I know it's not there, but seeing that it's not there doesn't have the same effect as the feeling that something's not quite right. This was sort of the same thing. My wallet was lighter. I knew it was lighter. But I didn't "see" that something was missing because I was so used to it being there.

This puzzle started falling apart yesterday when I saw that I didn't have my supermarket card when I went on a run for bread. Further investigation revealed that the entire window set was missing, incluidng that, my Blockbuster card, my Suncoast card, and some other things so important that I can't remember what they were (all my credit cards and such are in another compartment.)

I turned the apartment upside down. Nothing. Checked the car. Three times. Nada. In addition, without my license, I can't get my car inspected. Among other things.

So off I went to retrace my steps. My adventures last week at the car dealership led me to believe that I'd left it there, especially when I remembered that the cashier needed to see my ID to cancel the credit card purchase of the part I ended up not needing. I'd talked myself into being almost positive that I'd find it there.

They don't have it.

Hit two area dollar stores that I'd visited in the past week. Neither of them had it.

So now I have to contact the police and get a report so I can get a new license. (It's a recent addition to New Jersey's new ID regulations, what with 9-11 and identity theft in general being big now.) That takes very little time, and I go back home and nap to try and lose this splitting sinus headache.

I wake up and head to the DMV... only to find that it's moved from the strip mall it used to be in to the Shore Mall just up the road.

Now, New Jersey is known for many things, one of which is its wide variety of malls.

The Shore Mall may be the lamest mall on the planet. The interior - the walls, flooring, lighting, storefronts - doesn't look like it's changed in 25-30 years. Some of the storefronts are just banners. And if you're depending on Value City to be one of your anchors, you've got issues.

So I go inside with my papers and my police contact and get put in line. This takes less time than I expect even with having to take my picture a second time because the first one was... less than stellar. (Not that I have such lofty expectations, but that first one was just bad.) They changed the design again when they went digital a couple of years back.

I leave and try to get to the inspection station before it closes. I make a wrong turn.

I still get there with five minutes to spare.

At least that went off without a hitch.

(And Butch is right. Dating Courtney Hansen probably would solve a lot of my problems.)