Monday, January 2, 2006

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 17: Beggars Banquet

It's great to have you with us.

Ah, what could have been. Has Tomlinson slowed down in the last month or is it just me? He must still be hurt. Prepare to ask "Who the hell is THAT?" a lot this weekend. Philip Rivers lives! And after that safety, he probably wishes he wasn't. Letting Brees go would be a colossal mistake.

New Year's Eve in the Black Hole? Like they're not drunk enough. The Giants are down to about 12 guys. I'm not kidding. In contrast to LDT, Tiki's been on fire the last few weeks. See? Hey, a Randy Moss sighting! Where's he been all year? The review of Kerry's would-be touchdown dive was strange -- I was convinced he didn't make it at first, then Tirico and Sharpe (who are actually very good together) convinced me he did and were then shocked when the ruling stood. The Sunday Night guys would've gotten it right.

View Finder: CAR @ ATL, WSH @ PHI

You can't not love Herman Edwards. "We're unbeaten in two-oh-six!"

What exactly has happened to the Falcons' defense? Hell, what happened to the Falcons period? The second half of this season (2-6) was Vikings-esque.

That's like a record or something, isn't it? I don't know if this is the end for Favre but you can sure see it from here.

Why isn't Grossman playing? He needs reps. I'm not a fan of this move. Wow. THAT was quick.

The Colts really need to win this game for a multitude of reasons. And apparently they never had the ball because they only ran it 10 times. When Jim Sorgi throws for 209 on you, you've got problems. I didn't even know either Boldin or Fitzgerald was near 100 catches, let alone both of them. How they got the McCown fumble call wrong in the first place boggles my mind.

The drop kick~~~~~~~ And ESPN had footage of the last one! Who'd they have to pay off to get that dug up?

Tony Banks is in? Did Carr finally get killed? You realize that if the Texans win, the Saints most likely get the No. 1 pick and it's no longer Bush, right? Touchdown Alex Smith! It's about time. The Texans might want to get somebody who can freaking kick. This is ridiculous. Can't anybody in the state of Texas kick? So that's where Joe Nedney ended up.

I'm torn. If we lose, we take the Cowboys down with us, and yet... PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. I don't know if Reggie Brown's going to be great, but I do think he's going to be at least good. Do the Redskins know what's at stake? They might have to bring Darrell Green out of retirement with all the DBs they're losing tonight. When Chad rescusciated the football, did he give it mouth-to-mouth? I don't remember. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Apparently something happened after the McMahon fumble but nobody knows what it was and suddenly Koy's in the game. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Hey, you win five in a row, you probably deserve a playoff spot.

Goodnight, Dick Vermeil! We love you!

RANKINGS

TOP 3:

1. Indianapolis (14-2) - Time to take a deep breath or two
2. Denver (13-3) - Now can they win one?
3. Seattle (13-3) - No cause for alarm

BOTTOM 3:
29. (tie) Green Bay (4-12) - The road ahead is treacherous, and littered with cheese
29. (tie) Detroit (5-11) - The new Bengals
31. New Orleans (3-13) - In a perfect world, this would be the end of several eras
32. Houston (2-14) - This is going to be very interesting

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