Tuesday, November 23, 2004

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 11: You Step On The Field, It's Your Ass

YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE at the old Memorial Stadium site, which I assume is now parking or something. Yeah, this is about what you'd expect from these two. Just what this game needs: an injured Jamal Lewis. Holy crap - those... are those passes? Down the field? And being caught? Who are you, and what have you done with Kyle Boller? Hey, a Drew Henson sighting! The experts seem to think he'll take over after the Thanksgiving game.

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Lions-Vikings.

Well, we knew this day would come. Ben's getting beaten up and battered. But what's good about this is that his teammates have confidence and have his back. That's huge, especially that they're behind. This is a game the Steelers needed to have just to see if they could win it, because they haven't had too many of them. And they're just better than the Bengals. (Of course, they're better than a lot of other teams.)

The surprise here was that the Colts only got 41.

If the Redskins had any offense, they'd be dangerous. And they really should have offense with the skill players they have. Puzzling. They haven't scored more than 18 points in a game all year. I think I'm going to start calling them TOuchdowns. Terrell's New Workout Plan? OK. That first-and goal farce... there's no other way to describe it. And they missed the field goal on top of it! It's all about home field now, I think.

"Over/under on Eli: Week 9" Oops. Oh, well. I dare anyone reading to yell out "Alge Crumpler!" just randomly somewhere and watch what happens. Nice pass, kid. They may make a game of this yet. Lost in all of the Eli talk was Tiki, who had another good outing. You know, all Vick is doing is winning games.

Well that's a way to lose you don't see very often. No, really. Out of curiosity, who's the Dolphins' third quarterback? Is it still Sage Rosenfels? (I don't care enough to look it up myself.)

This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Ron Artest; 2. associated with the Saints; 3. Butch Davis; 4. Koren Robinson; 5. Robert Gallery.

Hey, look! It's the Texans! The Packers started losing running backs like the Patriots were losing corners. But this is what happens when you put Favre against a team that, while improving, still isn't quite good enough to shut him all the way down. And I don't think I need to explain the difference between Favre throwing 50 passes and Vinny throwng 50 passes. That Longwell kick? Just BARELY made it.

It IS 9 o'clock. This could be interesting what with the Pats down to Ronnie Lippett and Mike Haynes in the secondary. (Why'd they ever trade Mike Haynes, anyway?) "Tony Gonzalez as unintentional decoy" is working wonders, though the Chiefs dearly miss Priest, who's good for two scores by himself at this point. This team may not lose again.

FANTASY REPORT
XFLaPa:
That Boulware pick was huge, as it was the dealmaker in a much-needed 75.98-40.33 win over the not-even-inspired-enough-to-MAIL-it-in-at-this-point Grumpy Snails. We're in fifth place at 6-5 with the total points advantage. Up next: Loney and the Goat Boys of Iowa, the defending champs.

tSC: This was a little different. Oh, I won again (10-1, W10), but I had a comfortable lead for once and just had to wait and hope Patten and Blaylock didn't go nuts for Rob.

RANKINGS

TOP 3:

1. Pittsburgh - Ben's steel supports come through
2. New England - Held down Chiefs despite decimated secondary
3. Philadelphia - That's quite a cloud of dust

BOTTOM 3:
30. Oakland - A bumbling mess
31. Miami - Absolutely painful
32. San Francisco - Dog Food Bowl this Sunday

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