Wednesday, January 25, 2023

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 17: The Pause Button

I must sadly agree. The Titans are going with Josh Dobbs instead of Malik Willis because this game doesn't matter in the slightest. The Cowboys don't have Pollard tonight, which is why Davis is getting relief carries. Zeke jukes for two yards. Easy touchdown there. Parsons is on a bike on the sideline with a cast on his hand. I'm surprised he's playing tonight, as the Cowboys are basically locked into the 5 seed barring the Eagles self-destructing. He runs onto the field late and still makes the tackle. Al asks if this is an audition for Dobbs to start against the Jaguars in a game that matters, since they've been so bad with Willis (who, again, is a two-year project minimum)
Big catch by... McMath? McCarthy has to use a challenge because the refs screwed up — Okonkwo was down by contact, and Haskins advanced the fumbled ball to the Cowboys 2, where it shouldn't be. Then the refs say yeah, he was, and give McCarthy his challenge back. Then Dobbs gets sacked and fumbles, and the Cowboys recover. Wait, when did they get three more points? Dak drops the snap and the Titans fall on it! Hendershot can't handle the pass — but Byard can.

That would be six. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Diggs almost gets a pick. Woods falls down and Dobbs takes a shot to the head but no flag anywhere. Bullock gets the Titans on the board. Dak is sacked on third down. Flags all over the place and it's holding on the Titans. Dak's walking gingerly. But he recovers enough to scramble out of bounds. Jesus! Byard with his second pick of the QUARTER. And that one is Dak's fault. Burks makes the catch near the sideline. Go out of bounds, kid! DON'T TURN UPFIELD! He gets tackled with two seconds left and it's a good thing the Titans had a time out. Bullock makes a 29-yarder and it's 10-6 at halftime. Zeke crosses midfield. A truly stupid pass interference on Avery bails the Cowboys out and gives them the ball at the Titans' 6. Touchdown Schultz. Dobbs starting to hit some throws. Pass to Burks is incomplete in the end zone into triple coverage. Then he finds Woods for an easy touchdown. Hilton picks up another third and long. No, I'm not bitter. Cowboys center Tyler Biadaz is being carted to the locker room. How are you supposed to tackle a guy head-on without landing on him? Come on, man. Dak finds Schultz for another touchdown. Titans punt. Cowboys go hurry-up... until Dak gets sacked again. Lamb gets them back into field goal range and Maher hits from 45. Wait, Herbstreit lives in Nashville? Dobbs gets intercepted. AL: "I want you to keep a couple of numbers in mind. 13 and a half, and 40 and a half. I don't usually do fractions." We've got a muffed punt and a flag. It's fair catch interference, so the Titans will get the ball. This piano theme is hot. Al and Kirk thank the crew.
Titans have lost six in a row. Now that's underwhelming. (Cowboys 27, Titans 13)

Signal Finder: NO @ PHI, IND @ NYG, MIA @ NE (end), CAR @ TB (end), MIN @ GB

Juwan Johnson has to do a half-spin to pull in a third-down catch. Eagles cannot get a stop on third down. Sweat's down hurt and they're talking about stabilizing, which is never a great sign.

Direct snap to Kamara gets five. Hill gets stopped short at the Eagles' 9, then gets to the 1 on fourth and 2. He scores on the next play. Nothing's gone right for the Eagles in the last 60 minutes of game time. Minshew gets sacked on first down and that's it for this drive. Has Dalton thrown an incompletion yet? Second quarter begins with a Graham sack and the Eagles finally get off the field. Offense takes over at the 10. What the hell was this third down play? Gainwell five yards deep on an option? Punter gets hit but the refs rule that the defender was blocked into him, so no flag. I did not see that, in case you're wondering.
Field goal makes it 10-0. Another Eagles three and out and deserved boos are getting louder. Shaheed burns Bradberry and it's first and goal. Hill keeper gets stopped and the Saints kick a field goal, which I don't get against an undermanned, tired defense.

And they'll get even more tired after another Eagles three and out. This is disastrous. Dalton finds Johnson wide open over the middle. Reddick with his 15th sack. Intercepted by Josiah Scott! That's the first Saints "incompletion" of the game, and it may have saved this game. Eagles get a first down! There are 11 seconds left in the half. 13-0 Saints but it feels like worse and could have been far worse. Eagles get the second-half kickoff but a penalty has them back at their own 10. Sanders! Goedert! Where were these guys in the first half? Gainwell takes off for a touchdown but it's called back for a terrible holding call. Because it was NOT holding and Moose is FURIOUS. Then Demarrio Davis mishandles a pass that would have been a pick-six. Elliott hits from 54. Now the Eagles force a three and out. Back-to-back false starts? Really? They give Smith forward progress on this catch and the Eagles get a first down. Another false start, and then Minshew overthrows Smith. Cox with a sack. Minshew to Brown for a 76-yard touchdown! It's suddenly 13-10.
Hill gets stuffed and Dalton gets sacked to open the fourth. Refs clearly not calling contact on special teams. Reddick with another sack. Saints get the false start call, surprising the announcers. Eagles run Sanders on third and four at midfield, which means they're going for it. Minshew sneaks it and this'll be close. They don't get it. Eagles break up a flea-flicker with a sack. Lattimore, who's been out for two months, jumps the route and gets an easy pick-six. This game's over.
(Saints 20, Eagles 10)

Panthers don't get the field goal off in time, which Burkhardt doesn't notice until it's called. And they missed the kick, so they have to do it again from 49. Piniero just barely makes it. The Bucs punt it on the run after a mishandled snap, but since everybody's downfield, it's a penalty. The next punt is fair caught at the 8. Moore gets hit with OPI when he tries to prevent an interception. Panthers false start. Pitchy pitchy woo woo ends it. We're never gonna be rid of Brady, are we? And how the hell did he put up SIXTY fantasy points? (Buccaneers 30, Panthers 24)

Wentz is back as the starter, and:

Things didn't get much better.
(Browns 24, Commanders 10)

LT in the house! Jones hits Dallus Flowers in the face on third down. Foles to Campbell for 49! Colts get four on third and 5. They initially line up to go for it, then call time out and change their minds. Chip shot is good. Jones to Hodgins and it's first and goal. Touchdown James. Jaylon Smith hits Foles but he doesn't go down, then Foles throws an incompletion anyway. Trent Green thinks Smith thought that Foles had already thrown the pass. Jones takes off and gets 13. Colts lose Bellinger, but Jones finds him and it's first and goal. Quick throw to Hodgins finds paydirt. Pick-six for LANDON COLLINS? Yeah. Colts are discombobulated. Jones scrambles and gets out of bounds for a first down on third and 5. Gano ends the half with a field goal making it 24-3. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Ehlinger's playing because Foles is out with broken ribs — he got crunched by Thibodeaux on the last series before the half before the Giants scored again. Jones takes off and gets the pylon! 31-3 Giants. Pittman and Moreau exchange some words on the sideline. Ehlinger finds Pittman for his first career touchdown pass. Giants kick a field goal but the Colts were offsides, giving them a first down. The Colts can't contain Jones and there's an unnecessary roughness flag. Jones goes left again for another touchdown. The G-men are back in the playoffs. (Giants 38, Colts 10)

We go to Dolphins-Patriots, where Skylar Thompson is in at quarterback because Bridgewater suffered a hand injury on a pick-six he threw that gave the Patriots the lead. Mac finds Meyers down the far sideline, then Henry on the near sideline. DPI puts the ball at the Dolphins' 3. Thompson starts to celebrate a score before correctly being ruled out of bounds. Meyers goes up and gets it for a touchdown. Suddenly, the Patriots have to have the best chance of making the playoffs out of the other three AFC East teams. This Dolphins team may well be dead, and can the Jets really be trusted? Pats strangely pass on a 44-yard field goal try and Mac gets sacked for a 10-yard loss. Thompson finds Gesicki for a late touchdown with 1:04 left. (Patriots 23, Dolphins 21)

The 49ers should probably cover Davante Adams. It's well known — or at least it should be — that their biggest weakness on defense is at cornerback. Really, guys? Jarrett Stidham's lighting you up? Gould's not missing twice. There we go. How many games can the Raiders blow? (49ers 37, Raiders 34, OT)

The ultimate Geno Smith revenge game! (Seahawks 23, Jets 6)

Vikings block a punt! They take over at the Packers' 3! Vikings' backup center is down. Cook is stopped at the 2 on third down and the Vikings kick it. Uh-oh. UH-OH. 105-yard kickoff return touchdown for Keisean Nixon! Packers jump out front. Was that a direct snap to Cook that he dropped or did Cousins drop it? Packers go empty set on fourth and 10, and Rodgers gets sacked and fumbles, but the refs say he was down. That's close, but it's Vikings ball regardless. Hockenson gets hit and drops a pass. Alexander breaks up a pass for Jefferson and does the Griddy right by the Vikings' sideline. The Vikings go for it and Darnell Savage gets a pick off a deflection! He has blockers, guys. He's gonna score! 75 yards! Romo calls it "the griddle."
Joseph misses from 44. Vikings are skidding out right now. Packers line up to go for it from the Vikings' 4 but end up taking a delay of game. I, too, would like to know what Harrison Smith said to Rodgers after that. Crosby makes it 17-3. Quay Walker PRESS SLAMS Osborn and gets flagged for unnecessary roughness. Cousins' next throw is tipped at the line and Amos intercepts it! Jones gets 26 on third and 1. "Romovision?" That's new. Rodgers with days to find Tonyan for his 250th touchdown pass at Lambeau. 24-3 Packers.
Joseph misses left from 50. Rodgers finds a sliding Lazard and now the Packers have a chance to do something. This would be a long kick. The Packers brought up another kicker for some reason, but Crosby's in for a 56-yarder. It's... off the crossbar and GOOD! What?! 27-3 Packers at halftime. It seems like Cousins' scrambles have been the Vikings' biggest plays today. There's Jefferson's first catch. Kenny Clark with the sack, strip, recovery trifecta! Packers working short routes. First and goal packers to start the fourth. Dillon to the goal line... and over it. Touchdown!

The Vikings have lost three games this year, and they've all been car crashes. (Packers 41, Vikings 17)

FLEXING and this one feels right. It's their 10th Sunday night game just under Tomlin and Harbaugh. The networks have been going really hard on the fact that we're not getting next week's schedule until tomorrow, and this game is a big part of why. I don't know why you wouldn't run on third and 2 but whatever, it worked. Big run down the sideline after the catch by Warren. Steelers settle for three after a penalty. DeSean can't pull in a touchdown, so it falls to Tucker to tie it, and he does. Pickett's high school (Ocean Township, NJ!) has already renamed its football field after him. Chuck Clark with a big pass breakup. Boswell's kick CRACKS off the upright and is no good. Dobbins is getting close to breaking one. I'm not sure what Heyward did to get flagged. Maybe it was when he grabbed the ref? Touchdown Isaiah Likely! Ravens lead 10-3 at halftime.

Huntley starting to get Mark Andrews back into the offense. Andrews gets 19 back after a penalty on second and 25. Tucker clean as a whistle from 51. There's the Pickens circus catch of the week. Ravens blitz and Pickett throws incomplete. Boswell sneaks it in from 51. This tipped pass gets near two Ravens but neither of them can intercept it. Lot of anger bubbling to the surface. Pickett to Johnson converts third and 4. Boswell makes it 13-9 after a high snap with 9:47 left. Justice Hill returns the kickoff to the Steelers' 39. But the Steelers force a three and out. Johnson makes the catch... out of bounds. Pickett to Freiermuth at midfield. Then to Steven Sims for 28! Steelers are in the red zone with 1:59 left. Harris redirects PIckett on a sneak and the Steelers convert. Pickett gets forced to his left and makes a perfect throw on the run to a well-covered Harris for the touchdown! Cris basically calls it Mahomes-esque and he's not wrong. Ravens are out of time outs. Holding puts them back to their own 15. Andrews goes down and gives himself up, and now we've got a pile-on. INTERCEPTION FITZPATRICK! The Steelers last one more week.
We got the Saturday games, at least: Chiefs-Raiders (to potentially lock up the 1-seed) and Titans-Jaguars for the AFC South title.
(Steelers 16, Ravens 13)

Big stuff tonight. Bengals win the toss and take the ball first. Hurst tries to hurdle Poyer and fails, but he's still at the 15. Burrow with a strike to Boyd for six. Man, these Bengals receivers just don't drop passes. Allen keeps it but loses his footing a yard short of the sticks. Third and goal pass is too high for Beasley. Bass puts it through. Oh boy — Damar Hamlin just gave Higgins a shot, got up, and went right back down. It's been ten minutes. This is scary. There's an ambulance on the field and now I'm left thinking of Kevin Everett. I'm seeing online they were giving him CPR but I don't have confirmation. I imagine it's hard to restart playing after something like that, but this? They may have had to resuscitate this guy? Coaches are meeting on the field again. McDermott is motioning to his players, and they've just temporarily suspended this game. Both teams are leaving the field.

Back in the MNF studio, both Booger and Adam Schefter don't think the players will do anything until they get some update on Hamlin's condition. I'm not convinced that's enough time. This game legitimately might not continue, and I no longer think that it should. Game is officially suspended at 10 o'clock. It really, really feels like the coaches drove this, saying "Our guys can't do this. Not tonight."

Here's Scott Van Pelt and Ryan Clark, who were tremendous all night:

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