Thursday, January 21, 2021

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Sixes Wild

SIX PACK CHALLENGE. Bills win the toss and defer. We got fans here. That's an incompletion and I'm not sure why anyone would think otherwise. It went through Hyde's hands and ended up behind Hilton on the ground. That's good punt coverage. Down at the 2. Rivers throws a rainbow to Pittman at the Bills' 15. Drive ends with a field goal. Allen gets flushed out of the pocket and takes off for a first down.


Diggs extends on a ball down the middle and takes a hit for his trouble. Touchdown Knox! Allen danced around on a keeper for a few seconds before kind of shot-putting it to Knox.


Charles Davis wonders if that was designed. I can't imagine it was. 7-3 Bills. Kickoff is returned to the Colts' 43. Rivers throws to Hilton in double coverage and it's broken up. Rivers stays out but they don't snap the ball, then they punt. Rivers to Pittman for another big gain. Brissett sneak gets stopped. Touchdown Taylor on the next play. Pittman with another big play, making moves in the open field after the catch. Colts down at the Bills' 1 again. Two minutes left. Pitch to Taylor loses three yards. Colts go for it. Rivers drops back and throws but it's off Pittman's hands.


Colts are adamant that Gabriel Davis doesn't make this catch. They'll review it. Call STANDS. And here's another one on the opposite sideline. Call ALSO stands. Bills pass up a 44-yarder with 37 seconds left — and the hard count draws the Colts offside! It actually worked! Allen throws an interception in the end zone! This might be changed to an incomplete pass. It is. Allen on a designed run takes it inside the 10. Fakes the handoff, keeps it again, and that's a touchdown. 14-10 Bills at halftime.


Outside run doesn't work. Field goal is good. Rivers throws to Doyle right at the marker. They give them the first down. Trey Burton catches a low ball at the Bills' 20.


The Colts keep getting stuck in these third and medium situations and not converting. Field goal CLANGS off the upright and out! NO GOOD. Fourth quarter starts. Zack Moss is down after losing the ball, though he was ruled down by contact. The Colts challenged this during the commercial break and lost, so they're down to one time out. Allen launches one that drops right into Diggs's basket for a touchdown! Rivers does a good job of leading Pascal open. Oh, look, the Colts have 3rd and 4. Short pass to Pascal, who's in space and scores easily! The Bills commit a neutral zone infraction on the PAT, and now the Colts will go for two. They give it to Taylor and he... doesn't make it! These decisions at the margins just haven't gone the Colts' way today.


Bills debate going for it on 4th and 4, then change their minds and try a 54-yard field goal. It's GOOD! Colts need big plays and they get back to back ones from Alie-Cox and a 33-yard Hines catch and run.


Doyle WIDE open in the end zone for a touchdown! Colts go for two and there's Doyle again. 27-24 with 6:13 to go. Allen gets sacked. He then rolls left and somehow finds Diggs downfield. Tough running by Singletary to pick up a first down. Allen gets sacked again and fumbles! The Bills get it back, but they lost 23 yards there. They have to punt. White breaks up a third-down pass for Hilton. Sliding catch by Pascal! He gets up and loses the ball and the Bills fall on it. He's ruled down by contact. Bills call time. That's a fumble.


The Bills called time out to make sure that got looked at, and they just won this game.


Davis says Pascal should have stayed down because then he would be considered giving himself up. I'll add that it also would have saved the Colts time. Call STANDS?!? WHAT? I guess Pascal was touched while his knee was still on the turf? Man, that's tough.


Rivers throws two incompletions and there's four seconds left. Hail Mary doesn't even reach the end zone. KNOCK IT DOWN! Bills win! (Bills 27, Colts 24)

Wolford's going to start for the Rams, but Goff's available as the backup. His first pass in an incompletion, which is an improvement over last week. Both teams go three and out, and the Seahawks have the inferior punt but get a good bounce. Akers powers for a first down. Pass goes off Woods's hands but it was a little behind him. Wolford throws this past a reaching Jamal Adams and Kupp catches it for a first down. Wolford takes off and gets blasted. He's still down. That got flagged, right? They picked it up? That's a textbook shot to the head. He walks off and Goff is in.


He gets sacked on third down. Field goal is good. Two sacks on this drive. The Seahawks can't block Aaron Donald right now. That's a big-time one-handed catch by Lockett on the sideline. Rams blow up a play fake and get to Wilson again. Metcalf's mad about SOMETHING. Goff overthrows a double-covered Kupp. Wilson scrambles for seven yards on 3rd down but he needed eight. Myers hits from 50. Goff puts one up and Kupp comes back and brings it down. Field goal makes it 6-3. Pick six for Darius Williams! I don't know that I've seen Wilson make a worse decision than that.


Then he finds Metcalf open downfield for a touchdown.


Still no update on Wolford. Long catch and run by Akers for 44 yards. Akers does stay inbounds while stumbling. Aikman thought Goff was across the line of scrimmage momentarily. Seahawks challenge, but they'll lose. Akers takes it to the 10. And he cashes in for the touchdown. Seahawks can't respond and punt. Not sure why the Rams aren't trying to go downfield here — they have two time outs. Ball comes out at the end of this Akers run. They're reviewing it, but arguably the bigger news is Bobby Wagner was injured and is being helped to the locker room. This was eventually called a fumble but Pereira expects it to be reversed. It is. Wagner returns to the sideline. Nothing else happens and it's 20-10 Rams at halftime. Seahawks get the second half kickoff and Reed brings it in to Rams territory. This somehow ends with a 52-yard field goal. Really, Seahawks? Tom Rinaldi makes his Fox debut by reporting that Wolford's been taken to the hospital. Fuck. Donald hits Wilson, who ends up overthrowing a wide-open Metcalf by about 15 yards. He had TORCHED Ramsey and would have easily scored on a better throw. Donald a little slow getting up but eventually does. But now he's heading to the locker room as the Rams go back on offense. Ramsey with a great pass breakup. Young drops an interception intended for Dissly. The pressure on Wilson has been relentless. Rams think they got an interception but it clearly hit the ground. Still, it's fourth down. There's still 1:50 left in the third quarter. Don't challenge this, McVay. YOU FOOL. Seahawks punt.


Goff and Woods get the Rams to midfield. Lot of Akers on this drive except for a 3rd and 2 where they put Malcom Brown in and he only gets one yard. Field goal makes it 23-13. Rams punt on their next possession. That's a fumble on the return! The Rams recover! Goff finds Woods for a touchdown!


Seahawks are probably out of time now. Wilson takes off on 4th and 6 and gets 23! I don't think the Rams are gonna win this challenge on this ball to Swaim, either. Nope. Touchdown Metcalf. Onside kick, of course, doesn't work. Remember that Malcom Brown sequence earlier? Well, the Rams repeat it, and this time the Seahawks challenge the spot on third down and win. Rams go for it on 4th and 1... and don't get it. Seahawks take over with 1:55 left. Wilson sacked for the fourth time. He throws a rocket that Metcalf can't handle, then Nick Scott makes a great play to break up a deep ball intended for Lockett. Wilson sacked again on fourth down and that's that. (Rams 30, Seahawks 20)


And no Alex Smith for Washington, so Taylor Heinicke's going to start a home playoff game. Tirico and Dungy on the call. Bucs get the ball first, which seems like folly on Washington's part. No Ronald Jones tonight for Tampa. Dart to Godwin puts the Bucs in the red zone. Field goal is good. Washington can't do anything and they punt it back. Murphy-Bunting picks off Heinicke. Oh man, pressure right up the middle caused that. Washington loses Antonio Brown and he makes the catch down the sideline and scores. Succop misses the extra point, so it's still 9-0. Whoa, Washington on the move here. Oh, Tirico's at home while Dungy and Tappen are at the stadium. Good catch by Steven Sims on the sideline to convert third down. Touchdown McKissic, and a rare rushing one, at that — he's usually their pass-catching back. Ben's Chili Bowl B-roll! Reverse pitch to Brown gets 22. Godwin fights off Darby and brings in a touchdown pass. Bucs go for two with a Fournette run but he's dragged down short of the goal line.


Could have thrown a flag on Carlton Davis on that third-down incompletion. Screen to Fournette converts third and long. Gronk slows down Chase Young just enough to give Brady time to find Cameron Brate. First and goal from the 7. Bostic faces up Gronk and he can't stay in the back of the end zone on third down. Field goal is good. 18-7 Bucs. Heinicke gets sacked and they're reviewing if he fumbled or not, as the ball did come out. Call STANDS, meaning they said he was down. Honestly I can't tell where the ball was when Heinicke hit the ground. Washington receivers keep dropping passes. Where's McLaurin? Sweat finally gets to Brady. They're having a Pro Bowl Celebration instead of the physical game. Halftime. There's McLaurin. Brady goes deep to Evans but it's just out of reach. He goes to Brate on a shorter route on 3rd and 4 to get the first down. Fumble! Washington ball! Heinicke keeper. Cam Sims tries to jump over Antoine Winfield Jr. but the kid wasn't having it. The pocket falls apart, but Heinicke escapes, dives for the pylon... and gets there! Touchdown! Two-point try fails and it's 18-16.


Godwin drops what would have been a tough catch to make. Brate's been Brady's guy on third down tonight. And there's a catch by Evans to end the third. Brady goes down. Bucs settle for three. Evans makes a sliding catch and then heads to the sideline. He comes back in and makes a jumping catch at the Washington 3. Brate makes a diving catch for a touchdown, but it's overturned on review. Fournette runs it in anyway. Heinicke back in after an injury scare. I just realized Washington has two receivers named Sims. Steven appears to have caught a touchdown pass, but they're looking at it. That's a touchdown.


Heinicke's honestly played a decent game.


With five minutes left, Washington kicks it deep. Brady finds Evans for 35! Then Fournette rushes for 12 and the Bucs are in field goal range. Brady gets sacked for a nine-yard loss but Succop still makes the kick. This McKissic play should have been a catch and fumble, not an incomplete pass.


Lavonte David brings down Heinicke. Fourth and 21. Long ball falls incomplete. Washington has a secret problem: Heinicke's a free agent. They've dumped Haskins. And I don't think they can ask Alex Smith to come back again. (Buccaneers 31, Washington 23)

The AFC South on ESPN. Now it feels like Wild Card Weekend. John Harbaugh's salty about something pre-game? I can't imagine. Tannehill drops one perfectly for A.J. Brown on the sideline. Firkser converts 3rd and 4 at the Ravens' 7. Brown makes a one-handed falling catch for the touchdown. ESPN's ref John Parry says Brown should have been called for pushing off, but I see him and Humphrey getting physical with each other all day. Lamar throws a lob that's intercepted by Malcom Butler. Titans go to Firkser again on 3rd and 1 and he goes for 35. Gostkowski makes it 10-0.


Jackson sacked on third down. Brooks Reed's a Titan? Tucker makes it.


Derek Wolfe gets an easy sack of Tannehill. Ravens fake to Dobbins then pitch to Hollywood, who takes it into Titans territory. The pocket breaks down and Jackson takes off. THAT ACCELERATION. TOUCHDOWN!


Titans drive fizzles and the Ravens will get the ball back before halftime and the second half kickoff. Jackson is sacked for the fourth time, and this is a coverage sack. Late hit by Dez makes it fourth and a mile. Then defensive holding happens on the punt, and the Ravens simply kneel down to end the half.



Jackson goes to the fullback Ricard on back-to-back passes. First and goal. Dobbins follows his blockers into the end zone. Riddick suggests that the Titans try a deep play-action pass. They seem to, but the Ravens pick it up and they're forced to throw short to Henry. Third and 2 and no Henry? Levy says he's having a shoe issue. Titans punt.


Tannehill finds Brown for the first time since the first quarter, and add 15 for roughing. Ball at the Ravens' 25. Ravens run down Tannehill, but he manages to flip it to Henry to salvage something as the third quarter ends. Fourth opens with a Gostkowski field goal. Hollywood hobbles off after a big play. Tucker MISSES from 52! Good thing the Titans have A.J. Brown. The Titans have NO rushing first downs. Third down pass to Jonnu Smith is broken up by DeShawn Elliott, and they... punt.


It was 4th and like 3. Really, Titans? 14,029 here today. Jackson takes off and gets a first down. Ravens DO go for it on 4th and 2 from the Titans 22. Jackson flips it to Dobbins, who stumbles forward for the first down, but there's a flag. OPI on Snead. Harbaugh's salty? I can't imagine. But this time he's probably got a beef. Tucker on for a 51-yarder. NO way he misses two in a row. It's GOOD. Riddick notes that Corey Davis is on the Titans' sideline instead of on the field. Two minutes left. INTERCEPTION! The ball was tipped at the line, the receiver fell down, and Marcus Peters made the pick. And the Ravens celebrate by running to midfield and stomping on the Titans' logo as payback. That'll cost them 15 yards but they don't care at the moment. Jackson rolls right and takes off for 33 yards, staying inbounds and going down. Titans use their time outs but they can't stop the Ravens, and Gus Edwards gets another fist down to seal it. Derrick Henry only had 40 yards rushing. (Ravens 20, Titans 13)

This is the first NFC playoff game on CBS since the FOX deal. It's also the first playoff game on Nickelodeon ever.


Romo's posted up at the house. No Roquan Smith. Reminder that the Bears really shouldn't be here. Nantz puzzled that the Bears deferred after winning the coin toss, giving the Saints the ball first. Michael Thomas back with a 13-yard catch for a first down. Saints pass on a 56-yard field goal attempt to punt. Brees with a dart to Harris in traffic, and he picks up 17. Touchdown Thomas! THE NICKELODEON SCORE BUG JUST EXPLODED WITH GREEN SLIME CANNONS. Trubisky throws a nice deep ball to the sideline that's caught by Javon Wims. Then it's ruled incomplete.


Bears challenge. On the Nick broadcast, Noah Eagle (Iain's son) just compared the coach's challenge to Double Dare somehow. (Nate Burleson's doing color, and Gabrielle Nevaeh Green from the new "All That" is also joining them.) Call OVERTURNED, correctly. Trubisky's lined up wide? Double pitch and Trubisky launches one. Wims has his man beaten and DROPS IT. That's brutal. Trubisky keeps it on fourth down but gets hit short of the marker. Why did he go out of bounds? Harris picks up 17 on a dart from Brees. He's got four catches already. Second quarter opens with an apparent Bears interception off a deflected pass. This is close. I'm not sure this is reversible. Call REVERSED. Noah and Gabby are surprised. Gabby: "It's almost like tripping over your answers while you're taking a test."


Bears punt is nearly blocked. Nantz: "One touchdown pass for Brees, one for Trubisky, just that Wims didn't know it." Taysom's arm is hit and the Bears have it! They had a long ball cued up but the defense got to him first. Unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on Kmet sets them back. Romo thinks the officials thought he was throwing the ball at Malcolm Jenkins. Bears false start on the field goal attempt, but it's good from 37. CBS shows the Nickelodeon crew and the touchdown with the slime cannons.


Montgomery drops this pass? Fumble? Malcolm Jenkins picks it up and returns it into the end zone, but it's called an incomplete pass. Saints CHALLENGE.


I don't think they're winning this one. They aren't. Burleson is confused by the Bears' two-minute drill here. He compares Trubisky's benching to getting grounded. Like, they didn't do anything here. Patterson just audibly said something not very nice. The Nickelodeon feed is a little behind the CBS feed so I'm guessing they bleeped it out. 7-3 Saints at halftime after the Bears, again, do nothing.


Is this a full-on Spongebob episode? Halftime highlights are recreated in Minecraft-style graphics. Robinson with a tough catch at midfield. Romo says those are the kind of plays the Bears need and that they need to take more chances offensively. Saints blitz and get to Trubisky. Two fouls on third down well after the play. It's unsportsmanlike conduct on Gardner-Johnson and the Bears' Anthony Miller, who gets tossed after throwing a punch. Call back to these two teams' first meeting, where Wims got tossed (and suspended!) after getting into it with Gardner-Johnson. Kamara drops the handoff but recovers. Brees goes deep to Thomas for 37. Jared Cook breaks three tackles and gets another first down. I've been informed that the animations at halftime were actually something called "Roblox." We regret the error. Bears jump offside. Murray catches a pass from Brees for a touchdown. Bears go three and out. Saints taking their time as we go into the fourth quarter. Brees takes a BAD sack but the Bears get called for holding. Touchdown Kamara. Bears go three and out again. Brees converts a third-down sneak, then Kamara goes for 25. We're done here. Brees leaps over the pile and... did he score? They call it a touchdown! Replay says no, he did NOT make it. At least the slime cannons work.


Nantz doesn't know what "just the tip" means, does he? Call REVERSED. Bears take over. Trubisky with an effective but ultimately futile scramble. That was the Bears' first third down conversion today. Trubisky won the Nickelodeon trophy vote, which is hilarious.


Burleson was legitimately great on the Nick broadcast. Graham with a ridiculous one-handed catch to end the game. OMG THE FINAL LINE WAS 11.

Yeah. (Saints 21, Bears 9)

The last time these two teams met in the playoffs, they played a classic game that was immediately overshadowed by the one that followed it. That won't happen tonight. The Browns are down their head coach, four assistants, and both starting cornerbacks. Steelers get the ball first. Bad snap! Browns recover in the end zone! Touchdown! Ben dumps a pass off to Conner, who makes a spin move and picks up a first down. Intercepted by MJ Stewart! This is nuts. Landry takes a pass through traffic, bobbing and weaving through Steelers, and he's got a touchdown! 14-0 straight out the gate. Al: "If you just tuned in, I don't know what to tell you."


Derek Watt is stopped on third and short. Steelers punt. Chubb bursts up the middle for 21. They call this Higgins ball a catch? Apparently. Kareem Hunt breaks a tackle and overpowers three Steelers to score. 21-0 and we're not even 11 minutes in.


Pass is too high for Johnson and IT'S PICKED OFF. Returned to the Steelers' 14! Sweet Jesus. Hunt goes outside, gets another big block, and that's another touchdown. The Browns are punching the Steelers in the face. It's 28-0. That's a first-quarter playoff RECORD.


Steelers shooting themselves in the foot with penalties now, too. Ebron with another drop. SHOCKING. They go to him again on an underneath route and he picks up a first down. That's the end of the first quarter.



Roethlisberger misfiring all over the place. Pooch punt!



Browns also finally punt. And this might be ANOTHER interception by the Browns. This one was batted in the air and that's a clean pick.


The Steelers have managed to not screw up this drive so far. Johnson with a clutch catch. Fourth and 1 from the 2. Conner... picks it up. First and goal at the 1. Conner goes right and scores. 1:32 left. Mayfield scrambles for a first down and gets out of bounds. Chubb makes a catch and puts a move on Steven Nelson, getting him about 10 more yards. Hunt gets to the Steelers' 12. Browns use time out no. 2 with 42 seconds left. Touchdown to a wide-open Austin Hooper! Steelers blitzed and nobody looked for him. Boswell hits a 51-yard field goal to end the half. 35-10. Yes, really. Browns finding things in the middle of the field. But they can't get out of their own way and have to punt. Lot of Johnson on this Steelers drive. Ebron holds on for a touchdown. Two-point try is no good. Browns go three and out. Finally, a Juju sighting. Ben and Claypool miss each other twice. Juju makes it first and goal. Three straight incompletions to other guys before Ben goes back to Juju again and he has a touchdown. Now it's 35-23.


Steelers miss a pick-six as Peoples-Jones falls down. Pass to Juju comes up short. Fourth quarter begins with the Steelers lining up to punt, but not. This is a lot to not snap the ball. Now it's 4th and 6 and they do punt. That's a bad decision. The Browns' offense has died. Landry converts 3rd and 2, then he pulls one out of the air in Steelers' territory. Chubb takes a short pass 40 yards for a touchdown! Browns challenge this catch by Johnson. This might get overturned? It's 30/70?


Call STANDS. Steelers need to lean on Juju for the rest of this game as long as they're still in it. Touchdown Claypool! Stewart breaks up the two-point pass. Can the Browns run a four-minute offense for 11 minutes? Mayfield leaning on Landry now. David Njoku lives! Hooper with a catch. First and goal again. Terrell Edmunds had a shot at picking that off before Hooper dropped it. Parkey hits from 24. Ben throws ANOTHER interception and that feels daggerish. Takitaki had a pick-six against the Eagles this season that looked a lot like that one. Parkey hits a 37-yarder and that's that.


Steelers get an utterly meaningless touchdown with 1:07 left. This was incredible.


Cris wonders what's happening in Cleveland right now. Al alludes to it, but that was by far Roethlisberger's worst performance against a team he's owned his entire career. I think there's a legitimate chance that was the end. (Browns 48, Steelers 37)

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